A very tough decision.........

[Juliealfies mum]

Courtney

I think you are a very brave and strong person,whatever your decision is you have my support. You have a very hard decision to make and only you know what's right for you and your family. Take care Julie

[Surfie and Tiki]

Courtney,
Absolutely devastating news and I am so extremely sorry. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers, I am just so sad for you. As you know, we are here for you always……

[mustangbee]

Originally Posted by Baileys_Momma

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts, and well wishes. My heart is breaking right now but as always I am trying to stay strong. As I do not wish for this thread to be a debate, I know we all have our opinions; I value everything you all have to say. Believe me when I say I would love to put my unborn children’s life before mine but what is that saying for my five children I leave behind if I am unable to beat this again!! I just don't know

As for those that have asked about my husband, he is 6-hours away, on a boat in training that only takes place once a year. I know his work is not as important as my health, but in the same breath I need to have some time to compose myself, gather as much information as I can because he is a person that wants all the facts laid out before a decision is made. The other thing that is extremely hard is that we only have about 8 days to decide what we are going to do because treatment needs to start immediately weather I choose to terminate my pregnancy or not.

I have, after much research, ruled out continuing the pregnancy and holding out on chemo. One way or another I have to have the treatment or the cancer is going to spread. I know this first hand from my first round of cancer as it started as a stage 1 and progressed very rapidly to a stage 2.

I want the very best for my unborn children, family and my kids. Is it fair to them to lose their mother at such young ages? Will they resent my decision later in life? Will they get the same care and be raised the same if I weren’t here? We all know that mom’s do it better than anyone else. And my husband……..I can’t imagine what he would go through.

I understand we all have our differences in opinions and beliefs and I respect that of each and every one of you. I wouldn’t have asked for your thoughts if I didn’t truly want them.

I have an appointment with a Regional Medical Center that has a super Cancer Center on Monday and my husband will be home by then to get a better understanding. And to answer many of your questions, yes I do have my mom here and actually just got back from lunch with her and she is very supportive, and like many of you will not make a decision for me but will support whatever decision I make.

Thank you again, to my online family, for your thoughts, prayers and advice. I never thought I would need you all like this and I can’t tell you how much it all means to me to have you here, even if just on a computer screen.

Oh Courtney, I'm so glad your Mom is there with you. I can't tell you how many times I find myself looking up to talk to my Mom. I so wish she was still with us. But I know she is always watching over us.
We are not just a Computer Screen, we are The YT Family, and all of our hearts are with you. I hope you can feel us!!!!!! We are, and always will be here with you.

[JeanieK]

God bless you and may He give you the strength to do what you have to do. aving rfaised twins myself, I can tell you it would have been a horrible decision for me to make.

But I believe that your husband and your other children need you to be around as long as you can. And what if you go ahead and have them and then die from the cancer, that just puts more on your husbands shoulders. Even if you don't die, the treatment is going to take so much out of you, would you have the strength to deal with two more babies.

I'm so sorry that you have to make any decision at all. I'll pray for God to give you strength.

[scrapindee]

i think you are awesome. you survived cancer once. you have the heart and mindset and love to survive it again.

thank you for sharing with all of us. it really puts things into their proper prospective of what is important.

Good luck to you in the future days and please let us know if there is anything any of us can do to help you. Again, you are awesome.

[jbarile]

Im so sorry to hear of this devastating decision you were given to choose.
I lost my husband to cancer and I do know what you will be going through!
you managed to hold strong the first time, and I am assuming this is the secondary cancer that Doctors normally will not tell cancer patients, you know in your heart what you will do, and we are not here to judge only to support you. please know that I will pray for you and your family and that your treatments will prevail you back to the wonderful woman you are..

Blessings to you and your family

[cpmarried]

Oh! I am crying right now! It is such a hard desion to make, but I will prey that God helps you find the answer! I know if I were in the same dilima I would want to wait, but my huuby on the other hand would not want to risk losing me! So I would probably give up the babies only, b/c your hubby as great as he probably is, probably could not do it all himself! I know it is hard, so again I say I will prey for you dear! And remember whatever desion you make don't let anyone every make you feel bad for it, either way! It is your and your husbands desion! God will help you!

[heather_lathrop]

Courtney,
Tears are streaming down my face right now after reading your posts. I am so so sorry that you and your family have to go through such heartache. As some have stated in postes before this one, we will support you through this horrible heartbreaking time. Cancer is a terrible thing. But we know that you are strong, and WAY stronger than this disease. You can beat this again. And we will all have your back.
As for your babies. I don't think anyone knows for sure what they would do until we were in your shoes. We all have our beliefs, and our opinions. I am VERY much against taking the life of another. But the babies inside you right now, are not the only ones you have to consider right now. I feel so terrible for the twins, and for the others that you already have here.
As for what I would probably do. I think I would have to continue the pregnancy. It is in Gods hands. Not our hands. He will give you those babies the way he wants to give them to you. I say this as a mother of a disabled child myself. I know how much it takes to care for a child with a disability. But he has brought so much JOY and LOVE to my life. Which I am sure that you know this already.
I hope that God can give you the strength to know in your heart that everything will be ok. I truely believe in my heart that you can beat this. I think that it is possible to have these babies and beat this cancer. Maybe there is some website with other mothers that went through similar situations. If so I hope that you can get intouch with some of them. Please know that if you need us here at yt, we are always waiting with a shoulder to cry on, or even just to lend an ear. We love you very much, and want you to know that we will be here.

[elliotts4]

First of all....I am so sorry that you are going through this. No one knows what they would do for sure unless they have walked in your shoes.

Someone posted earlier that God doesn't give us more than you can handle and that this pregnancy was meant to be since your husband had a vasectomy....I totally agree, but I also believe everything happens for a reason....even though we may not understand why at the time. Maybe God allowed you to get pregnant so that you would catch it earlier since you would be visiting your Doctor on a monthly bases....otherwise, you would have possibly waited until your 6 month or yearly checkup and maybe you wouldn't even have these options.

I know this is definitely something that you and your husband will research every possible options before making any decision. But if it were me....I would choose my children that are already here and the commitment you have to them. You are not being selfish to choose your life and your children you already have. Who would take care of your oldest daughter that is disabled if you were not around? I know your husband would...but it's not the same. I think your first priorities are the children that are already here and yourself.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. I know whatever decision you make will be the best for you and your family. Everyone has their own opinion...but this is your life and your family and only you and your husbands can make this decision. Either way you have a wonderful support group here and no one here would or should judge you!!!

(((LOTS AND LOTS OF HUGS!!!)))

Tina

[centralnewyorki]

I am so sorry to hear this. I can't image what you're thinking and feeling at this point. I think you need to think of your family. Can your husband work to support your family and care for your children? How will he handle the responsibilities of caring for 7 children on his own?

I don't believe in abortion as an alternate form of birth control. However, in this instance, I whole-heartedly support the decision to save your life. Think of your children growing up without a mother and your husband losing his wife. Your family will understand and support the decision.

[Lola LaRue]

Courtney, I just want to let you know that I think you are a very brave and courageous person. I have thought about you all day and I knew that you would make the right decision for you and your family. Everyone on YT can have their opinions, but you and your husband can and should decide what is best for you. It is obvious to me that you can and will fight breast cancer again. I have two aunts with breast cancer(one in remission and the other currently getting treatment.) I know that you have a tough road ahead, but don't give up. If you ever need anything don't hesitate to pm me. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Jaspermom]

I hope the best for you, dear!

[Tashasmom]

Originally Posted by Baileys_Momma

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts, and well wishes. My heart is breaking right now but as always I am trying to stay strong. As I do not wish for this thread to be a debate, I know we all have our opinions; I value everything you all have to say. Believe me when I say I would love to put my unborn children’s life before mine but what is that saying for my five children I leave behind if I am unable to beat this again!! I just don't know

As for those that have asked about my husband, he is 6-hours away, on a boat in training that only takes place once a year. I know his work is not as important as my health, but in the same breath I need to have some time to compose myself, gather as much information as I can because he is a person that wants all the facts laid out before a decision is made. The other thing that is extremely hard is that we only have about 8 days to decide what we are going to do because treatment needs to start immediately weather I choose to terminate my pregnancy or not.

I have, after much research, ruled out continuing the pregnancy and holding out on chemo. One way or another I have to have the treatment or the cancer is going to spread. I know this first hand from my first round of cancer as it started as a stage 1 and progressed very rapidly to a stage 2.

I want the very best for my unborn children, family and my kids. Is it fair to them to lose their mother at such young ages? Will they resent my decision later in life? Will they get the same care and be raised the same if I weren’t here? We all know that mom’s do it better than anyone else. And my husband……..I can’t imagine what he would go through.

I understand we all have our differences in opinions and beliefs and I respect that of each and every one of you. I wouldn’t have asked for your thoughts if I didn’t truly want them.

I have an appointment with a Regional Medical Center that has a super Cancer Center on Monday and my husband will be home by then to get a better understanding. And to answer many of your questions, yes I do have my mom here and actually just got back from lunch with her and she is very supportive, and like many of you will not make a decision for me but will support whatever decision I make.

Thank you again, to my online family, for your thoughts, prayers and advice. I never thought I would need you all like this and I can’t tell you how much it all means to me to have you here, even if just on a computer screen.

I just finished reading this and I wanted to say that no matter what you decide I will be here for you. Just because I beleive one way doesn't mean that I don't care about your pain cause I do. I am so so very sorry that you are going through this. I know you are faced with one of the toughest decisions a mother can be faced with. I wish I could do something to help ease your burden. I will pray that god gives you the strength to get through this. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I am sorry if my earlier post was so harsh I didn't mean for it to be. Sometimes I"m not always as good at saying things. But know that I am here for you and I"m thinking of you.

[RowdysMom]

I'm so very sorry to hear this - it just breaks my heart to hear about it. You asked what I would do and I would definitely choose to terminate the pregnancy and do everything that I could do to be here for my children and husband. Life is so unfair sometimes. You've already fought this fight! You shoudln't have to do it again, but alas, you do. You are so very brave and so strong. I truly admire you and wish that I would have half your strength to face such adversity.

<<<< HUGS! >>>>

[Bonnie's Mom]

Originally Posted by elliotts4

Someone posted earlier that God doesn't give us more than you can handle and that this pregnancy was meant to be since your husband had a vasectomy....I totally agree, but I also believe everything happens for a reason....even though we may not understand why at the time. Maybe God allowed you to get pregnant so that you would catch it earlier since you would be visiting your Doctor on a monthly bases....otherwise, you would have possibly waited until your 6 month or yearly checkup and maybe you wouldn't even have these options. Tina

Courtney...I believe Tina is talking about my post and I want to say that you have been on my mind and heart all day...and on the way home from work today I was wondering why all this was happening...the unplanned pregnancy..the cancer...and then I thought maybe the pregnancy was so you would find the cancer before it was too late! Maybe that was God's plan!
You are such a strong woman...you have beaten this before and you will beat it again because your husband and 5 children need you I will continue to pray for you and your family. Hugs to you