A very tough decision......... - Page 5 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

heather_lathrop · 04-05-2006, 06:45 PM

I just can't get this out of my head. I wish that there was more we could do to help you. My heart is just so broken for everyone involved here. Sending more prayers for the strength to make the decision that is best for you and your family.

lily's mom · 04-05-2006, 07:13 PM

Wow, what an unfair decision for you to have to make!!!!!! I admire the strength you have to even talk about this with us. You are very awesome!!! I believe with your you positive attitude and strength that everything will turn out fine. I have to share that if I had a decision to make, I would have to worry about the family that is here and desperately needs their mother. You can not be replaced! You are needed and loved!!!! God speed to you and your family!

Katys mom · 04-05-2006, 08:04 PM

I am so sorry. You are in a very tough position. We don't know what God's plan is. I will pray that he wraps his arms around you to comfort and guide you.

I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling right now. It seems to me that you are dealing with more than any one person should have to.

Please know that there are now a lot of people out here praying for you whatever your decision is.

Kim000001 · 04-05-2006, 08:37 PM

I just want to say that in a year from now when you are watching your 5 children play, you will think of the babies that God will have beside him and wonder what they would be like. You will be sad, and maybe a few tears will fall. You will wonder if you made the right descision, and you will even feel guilty for choosing your own life. When this happens take another look at those 5 kids, and wonder then what would they do if you had chose the other option. Could they laugh and play like they do now whithout their mama. If they were able to make that choice for you, they would most certainly choose you. Watch those kids, and smile. Know that God will take care of those precious twins until it is time for you to join them, and know that you are not being selfish in anyway. You are not choosing YOU over the twins, you are choosing the family you already have. You are making the right descision, and while it will hurt for a very long time, you will bring smiles to the lives you touch, your children, your husband, your mom, the rest of the family, your friends here on YT, and most likely many other people you know and will meet in the future. You are an inspiration to us all, and your life is worth saving. So go give those kids a kiss, and a smile, and they will know that their mama will be there for them when they need her.

Tashasmom · 04-05-2006, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heather_lathrop

I just can't get this out of my head. I wish that there was more we could do to help you. My heart is just so broken for everyone involved here. Sending more prayers for the strength to make the decision that is best for you and your family.

Heather I feel the same way. After reading her second post I kept looking at my children and thinking what WOULD I do. I couldn't imagine them being without me. They need me so much. This is such a tough thing for a mom to go through. I guess I would continue the pregnancy and my treatment and hope for the best.
Bailey..no matter what you do decide I will be here. I am soo soo soo very sorry for you and your family. This really bothers me to know that a mom of four and two on the way has to be faced with this. I can imagine what life is like for you now. I am here for you if you need. Being a mom I know how your heart is breaking. God bless you girl and you have all of my prayers.

Tashasmom · 04-05-2006, 08:44 PM

i mean five ..you have five i'm the one that has four..

Sherry Lynn · 04-05-2006, 08:50 PM

As with everyone else, I'm reading this with tears streaming down my face. I went through something similar over 20 years ago and while I don't want to go into it here, I'll PM you.

Please know that if we (and I feel very comfortable saying WE) can help or support you in ANY way, we are just a keyboard away. No matter what it is you might need, please don't be afraid to ask us. There are a lot of wonderfully caring and creative minds here and when we put them all together we've proven that we can really come up with some solutions!

May God give you strength and courage to see you through this. You and your family will be on the very top of my heart and prayers.

Lexi's_Mommy · 04-05-2006, 08:54 PM

Courtney... I am so sorry you are going through this.

I am 30 years old. I was born with a large heart murmur (ASD). Dr.s didn't expect me to live but a few hours let alone many years. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter and the pregnancy about killed me. I had a c-section my heart stopped 3 times while on the table. However I made it and right after my Cardiologist wanted me to schedule heart surgery. Well at 18 with a new baby I was scared to death and just didn't go back to her. Then when my baby was 3 I had gotten pregnant. My husband and I were so excited. Then I went for my first visit and my OB told me to go straight to my Cardiologist's office. Scared to death I did. She then told me I had to terminate the pregnancy, or I would die. I wasn't afraid of dieing but I was concerned about my daughter. I asked what are the chances for the baby, and she told me about 15%. I left her office in tears and refused to even discuss termination. I went home and cuddle my daughter. She said mommy don't cry I will hold you. Of course I started crying even more and my baby asked me mommy are you sick? and she began to cry and said are you going to heaven? (now I swear nobody but my husband and I knew about this, and it was not mentioned from the time we left the Dr.s office)
At that very moment I knew that Stephanie was the far most important thing in my life and she needed me. As hard as it was I made the choice to terminate my pregnancy. Shortly after I got very sick and was on a couple of antibiotics but wasn't getting better. I met with my surgent on Mon. and had surgery that Thur. (at age 21) The murmur that started out the size of a quarter was then the size of a dollar bill.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done and though I still think about it. I do not regret my choice. I did get pregnant after my surgery and had another very healthy baby girl. I wanted to have more children but I was diagnosed with a unfamiliar case of RA/Rheumatoid Arteritis. I am on several meds and take a weekly shot. I was told 2 years ago that I should not have anymore children.

I don't beat myself up I am just thankful for what I have and I do believe everything happens for a reason. I still can't tell you why it happened the way it did, but I did quit my job and decided to be a stay at home mom.

cheryl000 · 04-05-2006, 08:55 PM

Wow, this is so horrible. First of all, I wanted to say that I support you in whatever decision you make. I will pass no judgment. It was only a couple weeks ago when I came on here and told everyone that I was expecting. I remember you congratulating me and you were so excited about being pregnant with twins. I was excited for you also.
Please do NOT postpone your treatment for any reason. Do not let this cancer spread. It has to be stopped. When I first had my son someone said to me, “Take care of you first." I couldn't understand that at all, it sounded so selfish. I had a new precious little baby and I didn't mind working myself to the bone to take care of him. It wasn't until I really thought about what he said until it sunk in. If you are unhealthy, how in the world are you going to take care of those babies? They depend on YOU for everything in the womb and when they're infants. Your body needs to be healthy in order to carry and deliver those twins and to take care of your other kids. If you don't get the treatment then you could pass away or be unhealthy and then your unborn children would probably be unhealthy as well.
How far along are you? Is it possible to deliver the twins early? I do not think a hospital will do cancer treatment in the form of radiation on a pregnant woman. Please do not worry about being selfish. You sound like the least selfish woman I have ever met. Just try to think about the best possible thing you can do for your family.
Being pregnant myself, I would not postpone treatment. I also do not think I would let the baby suffer through radiation treatment. It would depend on how far along I was. My hospital will deliver a baby after 20 weeks.
Please keep us posted and if you have a good YT friend who you don't mind giving your addy to, I wouldn't mind sending a card or something your way. We will all be thinking of you during this hard time.

Annie&Badger · 04-05-2006, 09:01 PM

Hi Courtney

I don't know you and I'm probably not really at liberty to offer personal advice to someone in such an awful predicament as yourself but I'd just like to say that I feel terrible for you. It doesn't seem fair that such an obviously good person should have so many trials in a lifetime but I will say that I really agree with what someone (forgive me for not remembering the name) posting that God may have wanted you to catch the cancer earlier through the pregnancy. He does indeed move in mysterious ways but I think you are absolutely and utterly making the correct decision both morally and medically in terminating the pregnancy. You have a right to put your life first. If you carried on, your husband may have the very real risk of losing a wonderful wife and your children a lovely mother. The babies you are carrying now will suffer either through being disabled or being born orphans. Under no circumstances should you ever sacrifice your right to life for that of an unborn child. There are no exceptions no matter what anyone may tell you. The most important thing is for you to get better for your family. In time, you will no doubt have another chance for another pregnancy.

I don't pray often but I will pray for you tonight and I wish you the very best in the long and tiring battle ahead of you. Please feel very free to pm me if there is anything I can do. I'm a long way away but I would have no hesitation in offering you any support I could. Take care and lots of love and hugs, Annie x

Baileys_Momma · 04-05-2006, 09:12 PM

I am sitting here right now with hazed over eyes from crying from all of your posts, thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. I sent the kids to their grandparents house tonight so I could just be alone, think and consider my options. I have not stepped away from my computer since I got home tonight and still I have no answers. I don't want to go into another very long post as to how I am feeling right now but wanted you all to know that I so appreciate all of you. Especially those that have come back to this thread tonight since this morning to post more thoughts and prayers and to check in on me. I have not logged off of YT all day and keep coming back to read all that you all have posted. You have all given me some great insight and have to agree, although I am not a religious person, I think you are correct that maybe I got accidently pregnant for a reason.......top find the cancer sooner.

I just wanted you all to know, although I am far from being OK, I am here, managing and I cannot express my appreciation to you all enough.

~ Courtney

Sherry Lynn · 04-05-2006, 09:41 PM

Naturally, you're still on my mind, and I was thinking how selfless of you to handle this on your own for now. I think my first thought would have been to call my husband, but as I thought about it I realized that there isn't anything that he can do about it from where he is, and it would be best to wait until he was safely home to tell him. Your strength amazes me.

LitlbitRanch · 04-05-2006, 09:54 PM

Courtney,
I am still a little new here but I just wanted to let you know that I am here reading all the posts and feel heartbroken for your situation. This is a very trying time for you, and all it seems we can do is show you how much all of us care and will be here for you through both the good and bad. Whatever decision you make for yourself and your family will ultimately be the right one for you. I have my opinions but I also have learned in the past it is better to listen and give a shoulder to cry/lean on than to confuse the situation even more by giving personal opinions.
My family will be praying for you that you will feel secure with your final decision and that you will have love and support surrounding you throughout your treatment.
Blessings with love,
KimberlyAnn

Baby Blessing · 04-05-2006, 10:30 PM

Dear Courtney,
I pray for God to give you strength and courage in which ever decision you make. I will be praying for you. Keep leaning on the Lord for HIS daily guidance and strength, HE LOVES YOU no matter what decision you and your husband make. Lots of

's to you, husband and children. Patti

yorkiegirl2 · 04-06-2006, 12:25 AM

Courtney,
I am so sorry you are going through this...
You have such a tuff decision to make.
Hugs to you, your husband and children.

04-05-2006, 06:45 PM	#61
heather_lathrop Gizmo and Gidget's Pet Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Arkansas Posts: 1,326	I just can't get this out of my head. I wish that there was more we could do to help you. My heart is just so broken for everyone involved here. Sending more prayers for the strength to make the decision that is best for you and your family. __________________ Heather & Max - In honor of my sweet Ayden!

04-05-2006, 07:13 PM	#62
lily's mom Lily Loves Maximus Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missouri Posts: 2,633	Wow, what an unfair decision for you to have to make!!!!!! I admire the strength you have to even talk about this with us. You are very awesome!!! I believe with your you positive attitude and strength that everything will turn out fine. I have to share that if I had a decision to make, I would have to worry about the family that is here and desperately needs their mother. You can not be replaced! You are needed and loved!!!! God speed to you and your family! __________________ Lily and Dawn

04-05-2006, 08:44 PM	#66
Tashasmom YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 950	i mean five ..you have five i'm the one that has four.. __________________ LOVE MEANS MORE THAN JUST HUGS & KISSES!!

04-05-2006, 08:50 PM	#67
Sherry Lynn Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,437	As with everyone else, I'm reading this with tears streaming down my face. I went through something similar over 20 years ago and while I don't want to go into it here, I'll PM you. Please know that if we (and I feel very comfortable saying WE) can help or support you in ANY way, we are just a keyboard away. No matter what it is you might need, please don't be afraid to ask us. There are a lot of wonderfully caring and creative minds here and when we put them all together we've proven that we can really come up with some solutions! May God give you strength and courage to see you through this. You and your family will be on the very top of my heart and prayers. __________________ Sherry Lynn Dublin and Widget

04-05-2006, 08:54 PM	#68
Lexi's_Mommy ~GirlieGirls~ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Missouri Posts: 5,293	Courtney... I am so sorry you are going through this. I am 30 years old. I was born with a large heart murmur (ASD). Dr.s didn't expect me to live but a few hours let alone many years. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter and the pregnancy about killed me. I had a c-section my heart stopped 3 times while on the table. However I made it and right after my Cardiologist wanted me to schedule heart surgery. Well at 18 with a new baby I was scared to death and just didn't go back to her. Then when my baby was 3 I had gotten pregnant. My husband and I were so excited. Then I went for my first visit and my OB told me to go straight to my Cardiologist's office. Scared to death I did. She then told me I had to terminate the pregnancy, or I would die. I wasn't afraid of dieing but I was concerned about my daughter. I asked what are the chances for the baby, and she told me about 15%. I left her office in tears and refused to even discuss termination. I went home and cuddle my daughter. She said mommy don't cry I will hold you. Of course I started crying even more and my baby asked me mommy are you sick? and she began to cry and said are you going to heaven? (now I swear nobody but my husband and I knew about this, and it was not mentioned from the time we left the Dr.s office) At that very moment I knew that Stephanie was the far most important thing in my life and she needed me. As hard as it was I made the choice to terminate my pregnancy. Shortly after I got very sick and was on a couple of antibiotics but wasn't getting better. I met with my surgent on Mon. and had surgery that Thur. (at age 21) The murmur that started out the size of a quarter was then the size of a dollar bill. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and though I still think about it. I do not regret my choice. I did get pregnant after my surgery and had another very healthy baby girl. I wanted to have more children but I was diagnosed with a unfamiliar case of RA/Rheumatoid Arteritis. I am on several meds and take a weekly shot. I was told 2 years ago that I should not have anymore children. I don't beat myself up I am just thankful for what I have and I do believe everything happens for a reason. I still can't tell you why it happened the way it did, but I did quit my job and decided to be a stay at home mom. __________________ Tricia ~ mommy to Alexis, Victoria, & Candise www.TriciaMartinPhotography.com http://www.flickr.com/photos/fotosbytricia/sets/

04-05-2006, 08:04 PM	#63
Katys mom I love yorkie kisses Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,751	I am so sorry. You are in a very tough position. We don't know what God's plan is. I will pray that he wraps his arms around you to comfort and guide you. I can't begin to imagine what you are feeling right now. It seems to me that you are dealing with more than any one person should have to. Please know that there are now a lot of people out here praying for you whatever your decision is.

04-05-2006, 08:37 PM	#64
Kim000001 Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Baltimore Maryland Posts: 180	I just want to say that in a year from now when you are watching your 5 children play, you will think of the babies that God will have beside him and wonder what they would be like. You will be sad, and maybe a few tears will fall. You will wonder if you made the right descision, and you will even feel guilty for choosing your own life. When this happens take another look at those 5 kids, and wonder then what would they do if you had chose the other option. Could they laugh and play like they do now whithout their mama. If they were able to make that choice for you, they would most certainly choose you. Watch those kids, and smile. Know that God will take care of those precious twins until it is time for you to join them, and know that you are not being selfish in anyway. You are not choosing YOU over the twins, you are choosing the family you already have. You are making the right descision, and while it will hurt for a very long time, you will bring smiles to the lives you touch, your children, your husband, your mom, the rest of the family, your friends here on YT, and most likely many other people you know and will meet in the future. You are an inspiration to us all, and your life is worth saving. So go give those kids a kiss, and a smile, and they will know that their mama will be there for them when they need her.

04-05-2006, 08:55 PM	#69
cheryl000 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: none Posts: 1,495	Wow, this is so horrible. First of all, I wanted to say that I support you in whatever decision you make. I will pass no judgment. It was only a couple weeks ago when I came on here and told everyone that I was expecting. I remember you congratulating me and you were so excited about being pregnant with twins. I was excited for you also. Please do NOT postpone your treatment for any reason. Do not let this cancer spread. It has to be stopped. When I first had my son someone said to me, “Take care of you first." I couldn't understand that at all, it sounded so selfish. I had a new precious little baby and I didn't mind working myself to the bone to take care of him. It wasn't until I really thought about what he said until it sunk in. If you are unhealthy, how in the world are you going to take care of those babies? They depend on YOU for everything in the womb and when they're infants. Your body needs to be healthy in order to carry and deliver those twins and to take care of your other kids. If you don't get the treatment then you could pass away or be unhealthy and then your unborn children would probably be unhealthy as well. How far along are you? Is it possible to deliver the twins early? I do not think a hospital will do cancer treatment in the form of radiation on a pregnant woman. Please do not worry about being selfish. You sound like the least selfish woman I have ever met. Just try to think about the best possible thing you can do for your family. Being pregnant myself, I would not postpone treatment. I also do not think I would let the baby suffer through radiation treatment. It would depend on how far along I was. My hospital will deliver a baby after 20 weeks. Please keep us posted and if you have a good YT friend who you don't mind giving your addy to, I wouldn't mind sending a card or something your way. We will all be thinking of you during this hard time.

04-05-2006, 09:01 PM	#70
Annie&Badger YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: London Posts: 284	Hi Courtney I don't know you and I'm probably not really at liberty to offer personal advice to someone in such an awful predicament as yourself but I'd just like to say that I feel terrible for you. It doesn't seem fair that such an obviously good person should have so many trials in a lifetime but I will say that I really agree with what someone (forgive me for not remembering the name) posting that God may have wanted you to catch the cancer earlier through the pregnancy. He does indeed move in mysterious ways but I think you are absolutely and utterly making the correct decision both morally and medically in terminating the pregnancy. You have a right to put your life first. If you carried on, your husband may have the very real risk of losing a wonderful wife and your children a lovely mother. The babies you are carrying now will suffer either through being disabled or being born orphans. Under no circumstances should you ever sacrifice your right to life for that of an unborn child. There are no exceptions no matter what anyone may tell you. The most important thing is for you to get better for your family. In time, you will no doubt have another chance for another pregnancy. I don't pray often but I will pray for you tonight and I wish you the very best in the long and tiring battle ahead of you. Please feel very free to pm me if there is anything I can do. I'm a long way away but I would have no hesitation in offering you any support I could. Take care and lots of love and hugs, Annie x

04-05-2006, 09:12 PM	#71
Baileys_Momma And Morgan Too! Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Puyallup, WA Posts: 1,180	Another Thank you to my friends here on YT I am sitting here right now with hazed over eyes from crying from all of your posts, thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. I sent the kids to their grandparents house tonight so I could just be alone, think and consider my options. I have not stepped away from my computer since I got home tonight and still I have no answers. I don't want to go into another very long post as to how I am feeling right now but wanted you all to know that I so appreciate all of you. Especially those that have come back to this thread tonight since this morning to post more thoughts and prayers and to check in on me. I have not logged off of YT all day and keep coming back to read all that you all have posted. You have all given me some great insight and have to agree, although I am not a religious person, I think you are correct that maybe I got accidently pregnant for a reason.......top find the cancer sooner. I just wanted you all to know, although I am far from being OK, I am here, managing and I cannot express my appreciation to you all enough. ~ Courtney __________________ Courtney Bailey Morgan KICKING CANCER'S BUTT, ONE CHEMO TREATMENT AT A TIME!!! Member of the SSLS (Secret Sisterhood Ladybug Society)

04-05-2006, 09:41 PM	#72
Sherry Lynn Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,437	Naturally, you're still on my mind, and I was thinking how selfless of you to handle this on your own for now. I think my first thought would have been to call my husband, but as I thought about it I realized that there isn't anything that he can do about it from where he is, and it would be best to wait until he was safely home to tell him. Your strength amazes me. __________________ Sherry Lynn Dublin and Widget

04-05-2006, 09:54 PM	#73
LitlbitRanch Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Phoenix, Arizona Posts: 1,004 Blog Entries: 7	Blessings Courtney, I am still a little new here but I just wanted to let you know that I am here reading all the posts and feel heartbroken for your situation. This is a very trying time for you, and all it seems we can do is show you how much all of us care and will be here for you through both the good and bad. Whatever decision you make for yourself and your family will ultimately be the right one for you. I have my opinions but I also have learned in the past it is better to listen and give a shoulder to cry/lean on than to confuse the situation even more by giving personal opinions. My family will be praying for you that you will feel secure with your final decision and that you will have love and support surrounding you throughout your treatment. Blessings with love, KimberlyAnn __________________ KimberlyAnn - Mommy to 3 non-Furbabies & :, 1 Designer of the original PuppyWraps & LitlbitWraps

04-05-2006, 10:30 PM	#74
Baby Blessing Our Blessings R Many Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the shelter of God's Loving Care. Posts: 3,095 Blog Entries: 1	Dear Courtney, I pray for God to give you strength and courage in which ever decision you make. I will be praying for you. Keep leaning on the Lord for HIS daily guidance and strength, HE LOVES YOU no matter what decision you and your husband make. Lots of 's to you, husband and children. Patti

04-06-2006, 12:25 AM	#75
yorkiegirl2 YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Missouri Posts: 2,394	Courtney, I am so sorry you are going through this... You have such a tuff decision to make. Hugs to you, your husband and children.