A very tough decision.........

[lily's mom]

Courtney, I have just been reading all the new posts to this thread and I have got to tell you that you have the most incredible attitude. I am just in awe of your strength!!!!! I have always heard that attitude and determination is half of the battle. So you almost have this thing whipped! I just can't quit thinking about you. Sending you a big hug sweetie {{{{{HUG}}}}}

[barbg402]

Courtney,
Sweet Heart I am so sorry to hear of this situation. gosh it's a heart wrenching decision. Please pray about it and be at peace with whatever your decision may be.
I have a friend who has a daughter that after becoming pregnant found out she had breast cancer. She took some type of treatment but it wasn't kemo until after the baby was born. This has been 7 or 8 years ago. She has a second child and all is well with she and the children.
Talking about faith this is where we are put to the test. God has all power, He has the power to heal, He also has the power to take life. My belief is you are not going before it's your time. When it's time to go we are out of here no matter what the circumstances. I will pray for you that God will reveal to you what he wants from your life, and that he will protect you and keep you and the babies safe. I can only imagine how upset you are. Lean on Him our Maker and he will see you through.
There are a lot of believers here at YT and prayer works miracles. We all need to bind together and pray for you and your children.
Hugs to you.

[vviccles]

Oh my God, my prayers are so with you.Honey,you are not selfish.Please try to relax(know thats nearly impossoble) &i pray that your hubby calls you this wknd.Whatever decision you make, ill be behind you.If it were me & all that you have endured sweetie,I would put my health 1st as mikayla & the rest of your familyneeds, loves & depends on you.In 1993 i got pregnant with twins( got my darn tubes tied in 1991 w Curtis, damn doc didnt sauder them.I terminated the pregnancy &did not have all the heartache you r handling.my hat goes off to you Courtney!!!!! hugs*

[Sherry Lynn]

You've been in my heart all day Courtney. I'm so glad to hear your husband is coming home early! His hugs are going to do your spirit a world of good.

[cheryl000]

Courtney,
I showed my sister who is an RN your first post. Her opinion differs from mine in that she would wait postpone treatment if she was in your shoes. But it is your body so the decision is up ultimately up to you. She has a lot of hope for you and your family. I hope that this post helps. Here is what she wrote when I asked her about treatment on pregnant women:
All hospital policies are different, radiation is a no no, chemo is possible. The problem with Chemo is that it slows down EVERY cell in the woman's body, including the rapidly growing fetal cells. Depending on where the cancer is at, and it's grade, it may metastasize and it might not. Truthfully, the woman has stated that both options are not acceptable to her, she has clearly stated that she doesn't want an abortion, she doesn't want them handicapped and she doesn't want her husband to be alone. If she refuses to abort, she may as well hold off on Chemo until the earliest she can deliver safely, her doctors may elect to do it at 34 weeks, which would put her more toward mid to end July. That really isn't too long. There are several treatments that are being tested but not FDA approved, I'm sure she has an oncologist, but she needs to visit the largest cancer institute, they will probably be able to help her out more. This is so sad, every decision that she makes is going to affect somebody.
We will be thinking of you! Please keep us all updated in how you are doing, I keep coming back to see if you have posted anything. Has hubby called you yet? Did your mom actually tell him what's going on? I am so glad he's coming home early.

[eensor]

Prayers coming your way! I don't know what decision I would make. I know with God's help you will make the right one. Keep us informed.

[Francie]

Originally Posted by Baileys_Momma

I am writing about a very personal thing that has just happened in my life. As many of you know I am pregnant with twins, due in September, and I also have 5 children ranging in ages from 10 - 18 months. Some of you also know that I am a breast cancer survivor and was diagnosed when I was only 19. Last week I went for my check up and the doctor suggested I go in for a mammogram which showed two very large masses in my right breast. Last Thursday (the day we brought Morgan home) I had a needle biopsy of both masses and this morning got the news that I am in a stage 3 of breast cancer again. I am sobbing as I write this to you and am actually telling you all first as my husband is gone all this week in training for work with no cell phone service.

I spoke to my doctor at length this morning as to what my options are and really, there are only two and neither are acceptable to me. There is no doubt that I will have to go through extensive chemo and radiation and that the chances of the babies making it through that are very slim but it has happened. So my options are to either take the chance, and possibly end up with two very unhealthy or disabled children or terminating my pregnancy. I don't know if I can go through having another disabled child. My oldest daughter, Mikayla, is disabled with a very rare disorder and she takes more time than I have in one day. I don't know what I would do if I had two more children that needed me as much as she does. Is that selfish?

I know I am blessed with 5 children already and that the twins were a complete surprise (my husband had a vasotomy some time ago) but me, my husband and kids and my entire family are just so excited.

I then think about what if I don't make it this go round with cancer. That would leave my husband with the kids, alone, and grieving. I have this dilemma, do I do what is best for me and my family by going through the treatment now, risking the lives of my babies, terminate my pregnancy now to avoid the risk of disabled children or wait it out until the babies are born in September, and then have the chemo, but risk that by then the cancer will have spread even more.

I am writing this more to find out, if you were in my shoes what would you do? I know many of you will not want to respond because this is a very sensitive subject but I am leaning on you, my online family, to provide me with whatever information or suggestions you may have.

Please keep us in your prayers as we make this very difficult situation.

OMG....I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a painful decision. Many prayers and HUGS to you and your family. Do you have any other family in the area to support you?


Francie

[jennifermcb]

Courtney, I am so sorry to hear of your cancer and the decisions you will have to make concerning your unborn children.

Just know that you are in my prayers. I pray that you will have peace with whatever you decide, and we are here to support you and see you through this difficult time.

Jennifer in AL

[Julz]

Originally Posted by Bonnie's Mom

Oh Sweetie...I am so sorry to hear this. First and foremost you and your husband are the only ones that can make this decision. I don't know how strong your faith is, but do you have someone on a church staff that you can talk to? A Christian Counselor maybe? God is the almight healer and sometimes we don't want to hear it, but he never gives us more than we can handle. I don't know if you saw my post in the thread about children, but I also had a "suprise" child after I had my tubes tied and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it is because it was God's plan. By you getting pregnant after your husbands V makes me think these children are His plan too. But that still doesn't answer your question I know. I often wish God would just give us a very small window to peep through to see what is in store for us, but since He didn't we just have to step out on faith.
I am not familiar with Washington state but are you anywhere near Centralia, WA. I have a cousin there that has 13 (yes I said 13) children and I think it might could help you to talk to them. Please pm me if you would like for me to put you in touch with them.

Louise

I love what Lousie wrote. My heart just breaks for you and your family. I pray that you will get a healing. I am so glad you know that you can come here for support on whatever you decide. So many many things for you to consider. I would do an online search and find out as much as possible...you can usually find a lot more than what a doctor will tell you. I hope that you will continue to come to your YT family as now I will be concerned for you every single day. Again, my heart truly goes out to you in this extremely delicate time.
Sincerely,
Julie

[yorkieK9trainer]

This is terrible. I...yeah, don't know what to say. I really hope for the best for you.
Since you're asking for opinions, here goes.
I believe that regardless of your faith that you must take some matters into your own hands. What is the point of living if you're going to be miserable w/ very little to no assistance? IMO, I would have to say-based on what you've told us-to terminate the pregnancy w/ your twins if possible and take care of yourself! Maybe you can try again later, or maybe you can't, life is funny that way and you already learned that hard life lesson at a young age.
Get your cancer treatment and follow doctor's orders to a T. Your husband needs you, your children need you and no doubt you want to be in their lives as much as possible and we all here on YT would LOVE to have you too! While a difficult decision for most, this is a no brainer for me. God- or whatever your faith is -has blessed you w/ 5 children so far. He threw you a curve ball w/ your special needs child and if you were healthy, then of course this wouldn't be an issue! Since it is, I think you need to take care of yourself first (take a chance, you owe it to yourself first and family second) and that way you can be the mother you've always wanted to be. Diagnosed at 19, wow. I'm 24, almost 25 and if there is any advice you'd like to give me, PLEASE do! My e-mail is: topsredhead@yahoo.com. Goes to show you that anything can happen at any age! Take care of yourself first and foremost so that you can take care of those around you!
BEST WISHES FROM MY FURRY FAMILY TO YOURS!
~Leslie Wooldridge
topsredhead@yahoo.com

[heather_lathrop]

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You have been on my mind, and I hope that you are doing good...

[BamaFan121s]

Originally Posted by Baileys_Momma

I don't know if I can go through having another disabled child. My oldest daughter, Mikayla, is disabled with a very rare disorder and she takes more time than I have in one day. I don't know what I would do if I had two more children that needed me as much as she does. Is that selfish?

No hon, it's not selfish...it's realistic. Thinking about and planning for every possiblity regarding your children, both unborn and already here is not easy, but something you have to do. You have to consider the welfare of all your kids and equally as importantly, your own health.

My thoughts are with you. You know you have a big online family here and alot of prayers and love coming your way.

[Bonnie's Mom]

Just checking in today to let you know I am still thinking about you!
You have a lot of people for you!

[doggieluver]

Just wanted to see how you are feeling today and to lwt you know that you have been on my mind and I hope you are feeling ok and taking it easy

[Lexi Rae]

just thinking about you again today, hope your ok sweetie..
god bless and take care