A very tough decision.........

[lynnt34]

Originally Posted by Baileys_Momma

I am writing about a very personal thing that has just happened in my life. As many of you know I am pregnant with twins, due in September, and I also have 5 children ranging in ages from 10 - 18 months. Some of you also know that I am a breast cancer survivor and was diagnosed when I was only 19. Last week I went for my check up and the doctor suggested I go in for a mammogram which showed two very large masses in my right breast. Last Thursday (the day we brought Morgan home) I had a needle biopsy of both masses and this morning got the news that I am in a stage 3 of breast cancer again. I am sobbing as I write this to you and am actually telling you all first as my husband is gone all this week in training for work with no cell phone service.

I spoke to my doctor at length this morning as to what my options are and really, there are only two and neither are acceptable to me. There is no doubt that I will have to go through extensive chemo and radiation and that the chances of the babies making it through that are very slim but it has happened. So my options are to either take the chance, and possibly end up with two very unhealthy or disabled children or terminating my pregnancy. I don't know if I can go through having another disabled child. My oldest daughter, Mikayla, is disabled with a very rare disorder and she takes more time than I have in one day. I don't know what I would do if I had two more children that needed me as much as she does. Is that selfish?

I know I am blessed with 5 children already and that the twins were a complete surprise (my husband had a vasotomy some time ago) but me, my husband and kids and my entire family are just so excited.

I then think about what if I don't make it this go round with cancer. That would leave my husband with the kids, alone, and grieving. I have this dilemma, do I do what is best for me and my family by going through the treatment now, risking the lives of my babies, terminate my pregnancy now to avoid the risk of disabled children or wait it out until the babies are born in September, and then have the chemo, but risk that by then the cancer will have spread even more.

I am writing this more to find out, if you were in my shoes what would you do? I know many of you will not want to respond because this is a very sensitive subject but I am leaning on you, my online family, to provide me with whatever information or suggestions you may have.

Please keep us in your prayers as we make this very difficult situation.

Courtney I am so sorry to hear of the ca reoccurance. I am not a survivor but a RN who works with Cancer pts. & Palliative care. I am replying to your question ...What would I do??.....with the heaviest of hearts & my family's support I would probably kiss my angels good bye & let the good lord care for them. This is what I Think I would do!! I do know how the chemo tx. could affect them and you have alot to think about, and huge decision to make. You must know though that the only right decision will be the one you make for yourself & your family, you need to be accepting of your decision...this doesn't mean you can't grieve or cry about it! With the heaviest of hearts I send you a huge...HUG!! I also stand in your corner with support for you.
Terrilyn (lynnt34)

[StewiesMom]

I PMed you Courtney

[RMKC]

Gosh i am soo sorry you are going through this, i dont know what to say other then i will keep you in my prayers, hugs !

[Patti]

I am so sorry. This is a decision you and your husband need to make and God will guide you. While I can only surmise what I would do I would do what was necessary to make sure I would be around for my 5 children. 6 months is a ling time with Stage 3 to go without treatment and to have treatment and risk having children that may have exstensive needs while you need to be recuperating may be difficult at best. What ever decison you make you will have everyones support. I will keep you in my prayers.

[DianaB]

My heart is breaking for you and the decisions that you have to make. I will certainly be praying that the Lord will help you in those decisions and that you will know without a doubt which way to turn. I will also pray that He will place people around you to help you with those decisions and to support you and your family. I will pray that God's presence will be with you and that you will feel His comfort. I know that this was said once before, but God never gives us more than we can handle. If He cares for the birds of the air then how much more does He care for us. Please keep me posted if you need me to pray for something more specific.

[mustangbee]

Oh My,............................................
My heart is breaking for you.
This is a very big decision, how I wish your husband was there with you.
I really don't know what I would do. Just about everyone on my side of the family has had cancer. It scares me, they wanted me to have some more tests when I was sick with the flu, something about white blood cells, but I wouldn't do it. I just don't want to know. I haven't had a mammogram, because I'm scared of that too.
God has bleesed you with twins. And now they are at risk. Have they told you all the options? Is there a way, no I guess not.
This is so hard, I really feel for you. Do you have family there with you? It's times like this I wish my Mom was still here.
Your five children are not going to understand what is going on. They are excited, about the twins. I have no idea how you would tell them either way.
If I was in your shoes, I would wait for my husband to come home, and go in and meet the Doctor. Find out all the options you have, and do what would be best for your health. Find out if the Chemo can wait that long, and if not what are all the risks for you and your twins.
Having a disabled child is very hard, most people don't realize just how hard it is. I really thought I had it hard with the three children we adopted who are all Mentally Disabled. But I was way off, I have a friend who's son is Disabled by Brain Damage and is also Blind. We visit with him all the time, it's very sad,
but he knows we are there, and he's happy.
We will keep you and your Family in Our Thoughts and Prayers.
I walk the Avon 3 Day walk every year, If it's ok with you, I would love to add your name to my shirt, I made it in honor of Family and Friends who have breast cancer.
Hang in there, Your YT Family are all here with you.

[red98vett]

Courtney...I am so so SO SORRY to hear this.

I will answer only because I would have no second thoughts if in your position.....you have a family who loves you and needs you....You have to think of YOU ...

I know you must have the heaviest heart thinking about this kind of decision... but they can cure you and that should be #1. I feel so bad for you....I don't know what to say that can make this easier but you have my prayers.......

What a hard hard thing you're going thru....and I will pray you can get thru this and lead a long long life with your family.

[Tiger's Mom]

oh Courtney, I am at a loss for words as I cannot fathom how you must be feeling right now . . . I can only imagine how it must be hard for you right as you don't have your husband right beside you to console you not just with words of wisdom but the warm comforts of his arms and telling you everything will be alright.

I must say that you are the epitome of someone in very good health as you project a very energetic and healthy aura . . . . I cannot even imagine you with 5 kids and 2 furbabies . . .funny my daughter commented that you have 5 kids and I said I don't think so and she said "did you not hear her"? man, was she right. Gosh, you must be REALLY GOOD at multi-tasking. You so remind me of my sister who has 4 kids (with the youngest being borderline autistic), a boxer and lots of birds. She hopes one day to have a yorkie from me.

I wish I could help you with your decision but only you can decide what you feel is best for you and your family. We, as your online family, will just be here for you, unjudgemental to whatever you decide . . . I will pray for your speedy recovery.

[hle_625]

I am so sorry to hear this awful news! You need to make the decision that you and your hubby knows is right! I can not imagine what you are going through! I am so sorry! I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! Please let us know if you need anything!

Just pm me if you need anyone to talk to!
Hugs to you and you family

[feminvstr]

I am so sorry to hear this awful news, its is so sad your husband isnt with you. My sister is a breast cancer survivor (grade 1), her sister in law (grade 3) as well as her mother inlaw (grade 3). they are all suvivors and her mother inlaw passed about 20 years later from a heart condition.

I may be misinformed but cant you have a massectomy, while pregnant without harming the babies and do chemo/radiation after birth, or is this even a possibility?

I hope you have your family around to support you and youre able to get in touch with your husband, those 5 kids need you and him.

I wish god speed what ever your decision.

[KELLYLYNN]

i am so sorry to hear your bad news, i would call my husband where he is ? don't he have any phone service where he is at?
and get a second opinion, maybe a cancer hospital where they specialize in this kind of treatment and pray, you will be in my prayers, good luck hon

[bchgirl]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

As before wishing you much needed strength and positive healing blessings.

[KimMee's Mom]

My heart is breaking for you- God Bless You and your family

[cribal]

I'm so sorry for the decision you have to make. You and your family are in my prayers. I'm not going to give my two cents b/c you and your husband will know what to do when the time comes. It will be hard on whatever you choose but all of YT and myself will be behind you whatever you decide..

HUGS, Crystal

[y0rkieL0ver]

a very tough decision is right. you will be in my thoughts and prayers. i wish you all the strength in the world to make the right decision for you and your family. im in tears for you. i cant even begin to imagine having to deal with what you are faced with right now. best of luck<3 we are all here you!<3<3