Thank you to everyone for your thoughts, and well wishes. My heart is breaking right now but as always I am trying to stay strong. As I do not wish for this thread to be a debate, I know we all have our opinions; I value everything you all have to say. Believe me when I say I would love to put my unborn children’s life before mine but what is that saying for my five children I leave behind if I am unable to beat this again!! I just don't know
As for those that have asked about my husband, he is 6-hours away, on a boat in training that only takes place once a year. I know his work is not as important as my health, but in the same breath I need to have some time to compose myself, gather as much information as I can because he is a person that wants all the facts laid out before a decision is made. The other thing that is extremely hard is that we only have about 8 days to decide what we are going to do because treatment needs to start immediately weather I choose to terminate my pregnancy or not.
I have, after much research, ruled out continuing the pregnancy and holding out on chemo. One way or another I have to have the treatment or the cancer is going to spread. I know this first hand from my first round of cancer as it started as a stage 1 and progressed very rapidly to a stage 2.
I want the very best for my unborn children, family and my kids. Is it fair to them to lose their mother at such young ages? Will they resent my decision later in life? Will they get the same care and be raised the same if I weren’t here? We all know that mom’s do it better than anyone else. And my husband……..I can’t imagine what he would go through.
I understand we all have our differences in opinions and beliefs and I respect that of each and every one of you. I wouldn’t have asked for your thoughts if I didn’t truly want them.
I have an appointment with a Regional Medical Center that has a super Cancer Center on Monday and my husband will be home by then to get a better understanding. And to answer many of your questions, yes I do have my mom here and actually just got back from lunch with her and she is very supportive, and like many of you will not make a decision for me but will support whatever decision I make.
Thank you again, to my online family, for your thoughts, prayers and advice. I never thought I would need you all like this and I can’t tell you how much it all means to me to have you here, even if just on a computer screen.