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02-08-2006, 06:33 PM | #31 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: alabama
Posts: 807
| I agree with the other post that you have to find what attracted you to start with. I think we all, or most, go through a period that we realize the Cinderella story just aint happening. The old routines get very old and sometimes you have to "take a breaK" to realize how lucky you are. |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-08-2006, 06:41 PM | #32 |
Gizmo and Gidget's Pet Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Arkansas
Posts: 1,326
| I have been there. The most important thing in any marriage is that you communicate. You have to tell the other person how you really feel. Even if it's something that they may not want to hear. Then get their input on the situation. I think when you said your vows it was for better or worse. This is possibly your worst. And it may work out, it may not. But IMO it would be sad to just walk away after being together for so long. Without giving it a try. Good luck with whatever decision you make. And this is just my opinion, I don't know the story behind this.
__________________ Heather & Max - In honor of my sweet Ayden! |
02-08-2006, 06:42 PM | #33 | |
YT Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Canada
Posts: 467
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But no matter who it is don't let anyone tell you what you can and can not do. Your in charge of your own life and your own happiness. Yes you have kids and that puts you in a bit more of a difficult place but don't let that be your excuse to keep yourself in an unhealthy relationship. Also if your that unhappy then your kids probably feel it and are effected by it more than you know or think. I think counselling is a good idea but if your at the end of the road with your husband and you have already made your mind up than i don't know how much counseling would help?! I know how scary the thought of being on your own and having to deal with daily life on your own is. I was extremely pampered as a kid/teen and I basically went from my parents hands to my BF's hands so I haven't had to do much on my own and it scares the crap out of me sometimes thinking what would happen if I ever split up with my BF and if I'd ever find anyone else. Just remember you CAN make it on your own if that is what it comes down to and you owe it to yourself to be happy. I hope everything works out, whatever you decide and we are all here for you
__________________ Athina, Ruby, Bella | |
02-08-2006, 07:21 PM | #34 | |
BANNED FOR SCAMMING MEMBERS! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,811
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02-08-2006, 07:31 PM | #35 | |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
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PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but I had an ex-fiance who was the same way (bedroom wise) and a lot of people thought he may have been gay. As my mother says, "men want it all the time." Just telling you...something to ask yourself.
__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" | |
02-08-2006, 07:33 PM | #36 | |
BANNED FOR SCAMMING MEMBERS! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,811
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NONONONO..he's not gay.trust me!!!!!!!....He wants it I dont..but thats not the problem..my heart is. | |
02-08-2006, 07:36 PM | #37 | |
And Lucy Too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,481
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__________________ Jessica--mom to my furbabies-- Jasper & my angel in heaven Lucky-RIP | |
02-08-2006, 07:38 PM | #38 | |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
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__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" | |
02-08-2006, 07:39 PM | #39 | |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
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__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" | |
02-08-2006, 07:42 PM | #40 | |
BANNED FOR SCAMMING MEMBERS! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,811
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02-08-2006, 07:56 PM | #41 | |
And Lucy Too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,481
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__________________ Jessica--mom to my furbabies-- Jasper & my angel in heaven Lucky-RIP | |
02-08-2006, 08:06 PM | #42 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Washington
Posts: 251
| I haven't read all of the posts, so I don't know if anyone has mentioned it yet. I have only been married for 6 1/2 yrs., and it is SO HARD! BUT...... being from a broken home, I wouldn't want to put my kids through a divorce. It is devastating to children, and they sometimes get put in the middle, and they sometimes get put to the back when a parent is trying to put their life back together. I just remember when I was 16 and starting to date, my Mom was dating too and was so involved in her own happiness, that I think she forgot where her attention should have been.... on her kids. I know this is not the funnest thing to hear, especially since any decision like this is totally guilt-ridden anyways, but it's the truth. Life would have been so much easier for us all if my parents would have just worked it out. It's funny now that we're older... we can see our parents as "real people" and not just as "our parents".... and my mom and dad are SO much alike, they really would make a great couple! They have both struggled so much with new relationships (my dad has been married 4 times now, and my mom is in a horrible marriage).... they have also struggled with children who took sides after the divorce (my oldest brother won't even be friends with my mom because she initiated the divorce and he feels so sorry for my dad.... and the divorce was 15 yrs. ago!!!).... it really does affect everyone around you. So just think hard before walking away from your marriage. Any new relationship you find will have it's ups and downs too..... and you'll see (when it's too late) that your husband had a lot of strengths that you took for granted. I know it must be so difficult for you, and you want to be happy, but believe me, there are very negative effects of divorce as well. I really hope you are able to figure out what is best for you all. Take care PS.... this is all assuming that your husband is not abusive. That is a different situation all together.
__________________ Zoe and Pixie's Mommy Last edited by Princess Zoe; 02-08-2006 at 08:09 PM. |
02-09-2006, 05:32 AM | #43 |
BANNED FOR SCAMMING MEMBERS! Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 2,811
| I thought about that with my children that's why i have continured to stay.. |
02-09-2006, 05:42 AM | #44 | |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | Quote:
Would you miss him if you were never to see him again ? If you say yes...then I would think very hard on this decision - good men are hard to find and the grass is always greener elsewhere ...till you walk on it - then it maybe isn't. | |
02-09-2006, 05:44 AM | #45 |
Proud of my Sully! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: beautiful CHARLESTON, S.C.
Posts: 5,454
| Even couples who are doing just fine can benefit from counseling. If he'd be willing to go with you, find a counselor you trust and go for it! My husband and I never had premarital counseling and last year, decided that for us and for our future, we'd meet with a marriage counselor once a week and it's done WONDERS for our marriage! So whatever you do, and if you could consider counseling, don't view it as a breakdown to weakness because counseling can be really fun and it can really help a lot!
__________________ - - - - - - - - - - - - I love my Sully (the Wonderdog!) Last edited by Passionfruition; 02-09-2006 at 05:46 AM. |
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