Can i ask a question.....
 

I have a question for you all...lets say your married and you have been for quite a while. It has had its ups and downs and all but your heart isn't there anymore.........What would you do?

Dont know the circumstances, but I think ya gotta work at it, make a spark, there was something in the beginning that made you fall in love, ya gotta find it again.. I know it takes work,, on both parts..
Sorry if this is happening with you... :(

what if you've been fighting for it the whole time and especially the last 2 years...you and your heart and your head..

Marriage counseling. I've been considering it, too. :(

Is counseling an option? People sometimes give up to easy these days, but if you have tried and it's still not working you have to follow your heart. I have been with my husband for 35 years and there have been good and bad times. Good luck!

By fighting for it do you mean yourself mentally, or you and your partner fighting over it?

id say talk it out, find a balance, and if its just not there anymore, talk about what you both want for your future, whether together or apart?

I'm young and I've only been married for 3 years, and we have tough times, but the main reason I don't walk out that door is because I don't think my life would be the same with out him in it. It's like sometimes I'm not sure if I shoulda married him because we have different views in the bedroom. I want it all the time him not so much, but I realize that that fades and the most important thing is he lets me be me. I just couldn't stand it if he wasn't in my life. My suggestion would be take a week apart don't speak to him or see him and see if you miss him or want to call and tell him something.

I am so sorry that you are going through a rough time. My advice would be to go to marriage counseling and if that doesnt work out then you two need to decide what will make you happy.

i feel bad for you, i know what your going through, i had it rough also, real rough and i would of stayed till death do us part, that god he made the first move and i am so much happier now and he is miserable...we did go to
counceling, it worked for a week and back to the norm... good luck in whatever you do, just remember you will be ok no matter what, if you need to talk im here for you...been there , done that...it gets better, trust me

I have been fighting it within my self.....we dont hardly fight.....honestly buy my heart isnt here anymore for him. I feel so selfish especially with the kids but i have dealt with it big time the last 2 yrs...im getting to where its driving my insane :(

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time of it right now. But there was something there in the beginning, so maybe professional help would be the way to go.
Good Luck :)

It takes 2 to Tango, you BOTH have to work on it, keeping a marriage steaming is a full time job ;) speak to him and see if you can both agree on seeing a marriage counsellor.
Every marriage has its ups & downs, it can become a drag, but try to find things to keep it bubbling.


Good luck :thumbup:

if your not happy sweetie, do whats best for you. its your life, live it the way you want....you have that right, but make sure its the right thing to do...

I need to clarify.....ITS ME NOT HIM...He doesnt think anything is wrong..it's ME..im the blame!!!!

Woo boy ytirks27, you didn't say it was a loaded question....

I've been married 23 years and we've been there done that so to speak. We went to marriage counseling and it's dang hard let me tell ya. There were very few sessions that I left feeling good about. It works only if you WANT it to work, and he has to want that too.This is the hard part, cause what you're thinking is I'm not happy, but you may learn he isn't either. Some of that honesty is going feel like a knife, sweetie. Will it make you feel all giggy, excited, heart pumping cause he's in the room (like it did when you were dating), sorry no.

I had a hard time putting my expressions into words with dh. I found it worked better for me to write them, some of those letters took hours to write, but I got the words out.

I could write a book literally on this subject. The fix was not instant by any means and there were reasons we got where we were. You're gonna have to talk to him, he may be surprised you feel this way (some are), or he may not.
It's a hard topic.

We made the decision we made because there was alot of good still there, there were so many things we achieved together, our daughter (who we both preferred to not to go through the divorce thing), and a bunch of other reasons. Essentially it may come down to...are you better off with him or without him.

Best wishes. I really hope everything works out for you.