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11-23-2006, 08:49 PM | #1 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: California
Posts: 5,368
| For those who have lost their parents I had a difficult time today. It was the first Thanksgiving since I lost my Dad. I'm crying as I'm writting this. I could hear my Dad asking me "you got your turkey on yet? What time did you get up? My Dad love Thanksgiving and having everyone together. We spent last Thanksgiving at my Dad's, he had just got out of the hospital and We all knew it would be his last. He was so happy to see us all together. I cried today as I ate thinking about both my parents and how much I miss them and wish they were still here. My Mom has been gone three and a half years and when she passed I felt as if she took my soul with her. I know since her and my Dad have both passed I have been dealing with this awful depression, not knowing if the feelings I have are normal or should I seek some kind of help, maybe antidepression meds. I know that their are others here who have lost their parents and wonder how you have coped with it all and the holidays. Sorry for such a down post, I needed to talk about today and my great sadness I 'm feeling.Tommorrow would have been my parents 65 wedding anniversary. I am thankful for all the wonderful years I had with them. |
Welcome Guest! | |
11-23-2006, 09:28 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 11K Club Member | I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine my life w/o my parents. I can imagine how you feel. It's a very sad thing to go through. I don't think I can take away the feeling you have but I will pray for you. Sarah |
11-23-2006, 10:55 PM | #3 |
Loved by Maddie & Libby Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Dakota
Posts: 10,732
| My heart just breaks for you. *HUG* I still have my mom, but my dad passed away in June of 1989 and I still cry now and then while thinking of him or seeing pictures or something he has written on...or his voice on tape...so many things make me think of him. Holidays, birthdays, special occasions seem to be the hardest when coping with a loss. You remember happy times when they were still here and feel such a void. It's a possibility that antidepressants could help or at least take the edge off your sadness. They say it takes at least a year to grieve because you have to get through all those special days that you normally shared with the one you've lost, so I think your feelings are normal, but it couldn't hurt to seek help. I'm not saying that after a year, you suddenly stop grieving, but it gets a little easier. I send hugs and if you ever need to talk, just pm me. Maddie sends kisses.
__________________ Custom doggie dresses and vests Memory is a country where I can go to see your face - but where do I go when I miss your embrace? |
11-23-2006, 10:58 PM | #4 | |
Our Blessings R Many Donating Member | Quote:
Dear Debbie, I am so sorry and can feel the pain you are going through. Debbie do you have a real close friend you can talk with? What about talking to someone that does counceling? Please, if you ever need someone to talk to, let me know, just pm me. That is wonderful your parents were truely blessed with many years in marriage. To loose a loved one is so difficult. I am praying that the Lord will be with you tomorrow and provide you with strength in knowing that all is well with your parents and they are in his forever loving care. We have talked to our kids about when our time comes to leave this life, and we hope it will help them later. It isn't an easy thing to discuss but we felt that we needed to do that. I think the hollidays are hard for many people that have lost someone dear to them, and my thoughts and prayers go out to each of those going through what you are. I find comfort in knowing that my Dad is with the Lord and that all is well with him, God gives us each other in this life and then the sad time comes when we must give them back to him for his keeping, in reality we are all on loan to one another. How blessed we are to have had the special bond with our parents, there are those that don't. Debbie please take care of yourself and if need be maybe you could talk to someone that does counceling and could help you. Sorry for the larger type, I still have the blurriness in my vision. ((((((((((((((((((((Hug to you))))))))))))))))))) In all sincerity, Patti | |
11-23-2006, 11:13 PM | #5 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Rockwell, NC
Posts: 465
| Journeying Through Grief That was the name of a class that our preacher offered at our church recently. It was based on a series of books written by Kenneth Haugk for anyone who had lost someone dear to them. You can get the books thru the Stephen Ministries at www.stephenministries.org or by calling 314-428-2600. Everything that you are feeling is normal for your grief. There is no time limit on grief. These little books are a wealth of knowledge and very helpful. May you have angels of comfort sent your way. Blessings, Teri
__________________ Phipps' Pretty Pooches Rockwell, NC 28138 |
11-23-2006, 11:19 PM | #6 | |
Our Blessings R Many Donating Member | Quote:
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11-23-2006, 11:40 PM | #7 | |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Rockwell, NC
Posts: 465
| Quote:
Thanks, Teri
__________________ Phipps' Pretty Pooches Rockwell, NC 28138 | |
11-24-2006, 01:19 AM | #8 |
Owned by 3 furbabies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Reading, Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,546
| I am crying just thinking about how your feeling and knowing what it feels like I think it is normal to feel this way. but wouldnt hurt to talk to someone professionallly about it, I didnt, but I talked to a friend alot and still do. I lost my dad 2 years ago, I know exactly how you feel, I think loosing a parent is the hardest thing to deal with besides loosing a child. . ...nov 20th would have been my mom and dads anniversary of 65 years also. holidays are hard for me to this day, especially Christmas. I can see him sitting inhis chair openeing presents and laughing, smiling. I know everyone deals with things differntly, and I do hope you find your way as I did. some nights I still cry myself to sleep missing my daddy. I have the blanket I made for him a few years back, I sleep with it.. it gives me comfort and I feel close to him. but sometimes it makes me cry, he loved how warm it kept him. my friend said i shouldnt be using it, to put it away, but thats my way of feeling him close to me. I have her to talk to about my feelings, I dont always listen to what she tells me to do, but its good to have someone to listen. missing him will never go away but the pain eases over time.. if you ever need someone to talk to, you can pm me. hugs to you Elaine
__________________ Elaine, mom to 2 Yorkies Peanut & Dixie |
11-24-2006, 04:29 AM | #9 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 1,459
| Hey Debbie! Just wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel. My mom is still with us but I lost my dad almost 22 years ago (at the young age of 49). Yesterday - Thanksgiving - would have been his 71st birthday. Although time has eased our grief of his loss and absence from our family, we still shared a special moment for him yesterday and wished him a happy birthday. You will never get over missing them, and you will have days where the grief is just overwhelming at times, but please know that as the days, weeks, months, and years pass, your grief will ease. Find comfort in the memories you have of them and the good times shared. They may not be here where you can see them but they are ALWAYS with you Sending you hugs!
__________________ Suzi - mom to Gabby and Gage For Mickey |
11-24-2006, 04:40 AM | #10 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| I am so sorry Debbie. Both of My parents have passed on. My Mom and Dad were divorced and I never saw My Dad but My Mom I was very close to because she raised me all by Herself and I was an Only child. I was also close to My Husbands Dad and he has passed on. My Mom and his Dad passed away 6 months from each other. It was an extremely sad time and the Holidays have never been the same since. Something we started doing was going away on trips during the Holidays. This year we are going away a few days before Christmas an coming back Christmas Day. Thankfully Jesses Mom and stepdad are alive so Our 6 yr old daughter does have some grandparents. We will be spending Christmas day with them.
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
11-24-2006, 04:51 AM | #11 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | These are so sad I just wish I could hug you all - I know how thankful my mom and dad are still with me - married 57 years ...but I'm at that stage where seeing their number on the caller ID gives me a jolt...both are almost 80 now To you all who lost your parents..... just believe they ARE still with you. They would want you to always remember the love they had for you and they're watching over you from a cloud....you WILL See them again ! |
11-24-2006, 06:40 AM | #12 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Sault Ste. Marie Ontario Canada
Posts: 860
| Oh, hon, I wish I could give you a big hug. It is so difficult to lose those that we are so close to. I lost my mom when I was pregnant with my first child. It was difficult, but I do feel her with me every day and I know your parents are watching over you, too. I've PM'd you. I hope you know that you have so many here who care about you and who are here if you need a shoulder. Don't hesitate to pm me if you need a friend. hugs |
11-24-2006, 07:10 AM | #13 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member | This is a subject I'm all too familiar with, as I lost a number of close family members in a short time period. Started with my brother, he was 39. Four years later, my father, then within that year, my only grandmother I ever knew, a favorite aunt, my mother and then finally my 50 year old sister. That was five very close people in less than a year. Needless to say my world was shaken! It has now been just short of 3 years and I still miss them terribly. I don't know what it will take for you to feel better, except to tell you time does help. It doesn't take away the pain, but the sharp edge of pain is diminished somewhat by time going by. Holidays, birthdays, favorite summertime get togethers, all are still hard to get thru without them. We have tried to start new traditions, but it takes time for them to be considered traditions. You can tell yourself all of the logical things, like death being a part of life, a natural process, etc. but I know it doesn't help the pain go away. Know what you are experiencing is perfectly normal and to be expected. Some people do need meds to get thru horrible things . I would try other things first though before trying antidepressants. IMO, it is better to face things and deal with them in a more natural way, if at all possible. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you to be able to get thru the holidays okay. Do reach out to talk to people, that does help.
__________________ ~Ruby, Reno, Razz, & Jack~ |
11-24-2006, 07:32 AM | #14 |
Mommy's Little Boo Boo Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Virgina
Posts: 3,734
| I know what your going through I lost my mom almost 5 years ago to cancer, and she was young 50 and I know it's not fair how we feel we were robbed my kids were, I was, and so was the rest of my family. You are never the same after you just have to find a new way to live. Sending hugs your way!
__________________ Proud mom to Grayson Abby Dusty Pepper Ryan Gabriel and of course me Diane Grayson loves Tia |
11-24-2006, 09:47 AM | #15 |
I love my Lily Pie Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: west virginia
Posts: 1,175
| I too lost my mother and best friend to cancer 5 years ago(this coming February), she was a young 57 she didn't make it to her 58 which would have been February 21. I guess what makes me the saddest is that she won't see my sons grow up and she never will see my brothers twins he had a year ago, (I am crying my eyes out as I type). She had always been so vibrant, had a full time job, kept busy always doing something and she was a beautiful woman. I admire her so much for keeping a job, home and family going. She suffered with the cancer for 5 years, her first surgery was the day after I had my second son, we were in the hospital at the same time. My parents didn't even tell me she had cancer til after I had the baby, so I wouldn't panic. I seen her go through so much pain and sickness due to the cancer and the treatments, it didn't seem fair. She was always particular about how she looked(she was very beautiful) and she lost her hair, gained weight from the steroids an just became aged looking. I guess you could say all of those 5 years I prepared myself for her dieing, the Drs. didn't give her much of a life expectancy, so when she died, it was the most difficult day I have ever had, but she was so ready to go and was so at peace with it, that it made it easier for me and she was in no more pain. The holidays are the most difficult, we always cooked the meal together, went shopping the next day together, luckily I have my husband and 2 sons or I would be a mess. My father is still here too(he is remarried now), and when he lost her it was so hard to watch him go through that, he didn't leave her side. I am grateful he found a second wife that is wonderful to him(she lost her first husband to cancer) and he is not alone, because he was so lonely when my mom died. Talk to a friend, family or a therapist, I think the more you talk about it the better you will feel. If you have family stick close with them on the holidays, if not be with friends. If I were alone on the holidays, I probably would need a antidepressant, but my family keeps me together. My family and I always remember the good times we had on the holidays with my Mom and it does make me miss her so much, but she is in a better place at peace, and I will see her agian someday. I will keep you in my prayers, I hope you are comforted and that some day your heart will be at peace with this loss you have had.
__________________ Lily Buffy Rocco |
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