I am crying just thinking about how your feeling and knowing what it feels like
I think it is normal to feel this way. but wouldnt hurt to talk to someone professionallly about it, I didnt, but I talked to a friend alot and still do. I lost my dad 2 years ago, I know exactly how you feel, I think loosing a parent is the hardest thing to deal with besides loosing a child. . ...nov 20th would have been my mom and dads anniversary of 65 years also. holidays are hard for me to this day, especially Christmas. I can see him sitting inhis chair openeing presents and laughing, smiling.
I know everyone deals with things differntly, and I do hope you find your way as I did. some nights I still cry myself to sleep missing my daddy.
I have the blanket I made for him a few years back, I sleep with it.. it gives me comfort and I feel close to him. but sometimes it makes me cry, he loved how warm it kept him. my friend said i shouldnt be using it, to put it away, but thats my way of feeling him close to me. I have her to talk to about my feelings, I dont always listen to what she tells me to do, but its good to have someone to listen.
missing him will never go away but the pain eases over time.. if you ever need someone to talk to, you can pm me.
hugs to you
Elaine