Ever feel this way? - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

luvdorkyyorkies · 11-08-2006, 06:08 AM

That sounds like a good idea!.......and so does going back to bed!........lol
There for a while since I didnt have ANY time during the day I was staying up really late for my alone time, then had to get up at the crack of dawn. SInce I dont do well with just a bit of sleep, it made things worse for me...and boy was I cranky.
I do occasional stay up late but I noticed if I go to bed and get plenty of rest when I should, the day certainly is much easier and brighter!
Enjoy your day and take care of yourself.

bettyeanne · 11-08-2006, 06:10 AM

I raised children alone [or practically, I had great parents who were always there for us] and it's so hard. I know everything looks bleak right now, but you can do it! You need help and a relationship with your children. Do you think they are mature enough to listen to you if you sat them down and discussed it all with them? Sometimes children will surprise you. I don't mean talk to them about financial matters or grownup things that they don't understand. Perhaps if they understood your feelings and frustrations and were willing to express theirs, you all could work out solutions together. I will be praying for you all ... keep your chin up, you just never know when things will begin to look up! Just know that there are people out here who love you!

luvdorkyyorkies · 11-08-2006, 06:21 AM

I think thats an idea Bettyanne worth trying. Maybe a family pawl wawl where everyone shows their concerns and has a voice.
One thing Ive noticed is on the days I feel tired, cranky, overwhelmed....that is when my kids really show thier butts! I think its alot to do with me, Im short with them and have lil patience. My mood then rubs off on them!! And they are only 2 and 4. When I say to myself this stuff can wait till later! and show them patience and draw together , or play tea, or dolls or cars, and spend that important time with them, they are happier and so am I.

kitty · 11-08-2006, 06:27 AM

I've tried sitting down with them and talking to them about the way I feel and the way they feel. My oldest has such an attitude here recently and when I try to talk to him about the way he is feeling he tells me nothings wrong with him and he doesn't feel anything. I just don't know what to do with him. It hurts me to see him so angry and hurtful to others because I know he is a really kind and caring person. I wish I could do something for him but I just don't know what.

bettyeanne · 11-08-2006, 07:03 AM

I found one way with mine was to talk to them one-on-one and look them straight in the eye .... force eye contact if you must. They realize that you are sincere in your feelings for them and soon they will be just as sincere with you. It takes lots of patience and many talks to bring about their trust, but it certainly worked for me. It's not easy when you have noone to help, but you can teach them that by sticking together that all of you can make it better and have such a wonderful life! Three very important rules that I used for me ... I never raised my voice ... I never corrected them in front of others and I never left the correction/discussion for later! My son is 44 now and he told me once that it meant so much to him to have our "conversations" in private and they had so much more impact! One of his friends' Mom was a screamer and never missed an opportunity to correct him in front of others. I have been heartbroken many times because I heard her do it and saw the crushed expression on his face as he just looked like he wanted to disappear. I still see him occasionally and he still gives me a big bear hug, tells me he loves me and proudly says "this is my MOM"!! It gives you a pretty good feeling. Sorry to ramble, but it just means so much to keep an open dialog with your kids. Once you can establish the one-on-one with them, then just like Kelly said, the Family Pow Wow is wonderful. Hopefully, they will feel part of a unit and not alone in this nasty old world, and makes such a difference!

Rem&Silkmom · 11-08-2006, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitty

My oldest is 11 and all of a sudden he has an attitude that won't end! I just really can't take him being so mean and hateful to his brothers and sister. And of course me. I have given up so much for him. His bio father left us when he was 4 mos. old and me pregnant with my second. (He's 10) Then I have a 7 year old boy that has behavioral problems that just don't end. It's a struggle everyday with that one. He's in the first grade and he's been kicked off the bus, banned from going on any and all feild trips. I spent most of the last school year at the school picking him up for one thing or another. He was kicked out of the first school he attended in Pre-kindergarten so we had to move to find another school. My daughter is 6. She's so sweet and kind but is learning her brothers behaviors. I just never planned on raising kids on my own. I love them don't get me wrong. My life evolves around them. I just have been so down lately and they don't help when they won't mind me. I've been running a high fever for the last 2 weeks due to an infection I got after my surgery. I'm now on the second course of antibiotics and am also taking blood pressure meds. I've never in my life had high blood pressure until recently. (I'm not that old either or over weight. I'm going to be 32 at the end of this month.) And then on top of it all I think I broke the puppy's leg tonight and am waiting on my vet to call me back. (I posted a thread under sick/emergency about it.) I wonder what else will happen tonight.

Have your children been to therapy? I know sometimes kids keep things bottled up inside and it may be benificial for them to talk to someone other than you. If they wanted to. Never know it might help.

kitty · 11-08-2006, 09:47 AM

Yes my kids have been to thearapy. They really didn't benifit from it. They were in it for 2 years and nothing came of it.

red98vett · 11-08-2006, 09:54 AM

Kitty I know just what you mean ...I went from a 2 person relationship to just ME doing everything because he no longer can - and it's very stressful.

Some days you just want to get in the car and keep on driving.

I don't have the luxury of ever having any space to myself ...so to get that - I have to be the one who leaves to just be 'me' somewhere - It sucks to have someone around 24/7 - so be lucky your husband isn't home all the time.....I would welcome that !

My solution is play with the girls and feel blessed - things could always be so much worse and remember you have a home and healthy kids. I never had problems with my sons - but cherished the little boys they were and MISS those little boys so much. They're grown men now and I love them but there is nothing like having young kids....it's just the best.

remember - your kids will be all grown up and moved out one day - too fast actually....Try to enjoy and relax and maybe get some medication to help YOU feel better.

Rem&Silkmom · 11-08-2006, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kitty

Yes my kids have been to thearapy. They really didn't benifit from it. They were in it for 2 years and nothing came of it.

Just asking...I went through a spell in my younger years and therapy helped me alot. Not trying to imply that they need it or anything like that.

Potter · 11-08-2006, 12:36 PM

I am so sorry...I was reading this thread. I can't find much words to say and I am not one who knows how to talk a lot but try getting your daughter to understand and help? If she has such a kind heart of saving snails

, I am sure she will try to understand mommy.Sometimes, I find daughters to be more understanding than sons although I don't have kids of my own, in my relationship with my parents, i dinf it that way.

yorkieangel · 11-08-2006, 01:12 PM

I so feel for you girlfriend. I kow exactly how you feel. One lucky thiing I found to help me through at least all the school issues was a WONDERFUL caring school counseler who worked with 2 of my boys the RIGHT way. It seems my son started a whole thing that they use now regular where the troubled kids go each morning before bell and get to talk or play or whatever they wish. They conselor puts them at ease for the day and the WHOLE school day goes MUCH smoother without all the usual issues that happened before. The woman never talked down to me and always seemed to truly care instead of that fake attitude that some scholl counselors use and tell you to see counseling because your kid is a freak or something. EACH year the boys do better and better in school because of her!!!!

As for home. .... I also have no hunny home except a few days a month and NO FAMILY or friends anywhere near. The kids were wild and disrespectful. I know this sounds CRAZY but I made a HUGE poster chart and we list chores and stuff for each child for each day on it. Each day they get colored foil stars for accomplishing tasks. IF they complete EVERY task all week they get to go to Kmart or someplace and pick a small prize...OMG this thing has made my wildest child calm down. he even bosses the other how they better get their stars. I always make the chart with a couple simple chores like pick up toys and make bed... and include stuff like NO TOCHING all day(to stop the fighting) and going to bed wihout screaming or fighting. They know if they touch or fuight about bedtime they will lose the PRIZE.
The younger kids LOVE seeing the stars go up each day as a chore is accoomplished and get a sense of PRIDE like they never had before!!!!

Kathryn_V · 11-08-2006, 04:53 PM

OMGosh! Its obvious that you have a bird! I laughed when I read that your guardian angles must have "plucked their wing feathers out" by now! lol That was a good one!

It is tough when the "man" of the house is gone and your left to fill those shoes... You are already wearing the mom shoes... and the Taxi shoes and the housekeeper shoes and the zoo keeper shoes and the tutor shoes, not to mention the financial genius bill paying wizard shoes!!! How ever do you walk??? I swear you must be ten feet tall and have the biggest corns the world has ever seen!!! How on earth do you find time for yourself??? OH wait!!! You don't!!! Thats the problem!

You totally need a break!!! Your next ad needs to read....

Mom needs a serious break!!!!
Please call ASAP!!! Price negotiable!
(555) 555-1234

Get yourself some relief!!! You'll be amazed at what a couple of days will do! Call up family from out of town and beg them to fly in! Tell them that your sanity depends on it!!!

Seriously... The week in the loony bin was just what I needed... lol

(Not that I am recommending my means of getting there... Children don't try this at home!) I know you've heard tons of mothers say that they wish someone would have them committed!!! That they could use the break!!!

Its true!!! lol A bit extreme, but true!! The Marriott and a hot pool boy to look at would be much nicer though!!!

Seriously! Take a break...

kitty · 11-08-2006, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kathryn_V

OMGosh! Its obvious that you have a bird! I laughed when I read that your guardian angles must have "plucked their wing feathers out" by now! lol That was a good one!

It is tough when the "man" of the house is gone and your left to fill those shoes... You are already wearing the mom shoes... and the Taxi shoes and the housekeeper shoes and the zoo keeper shoes and the tutor shoes, not to mention the financial genius bill paying wizard shoes!!! How ever do you walk??? I swear you must be ten feet tall and have the biggest corns the world has ever seen!!! How on earth do you find time for yourself??? OH wait!!! You don't!!! Thats the problem!

You totally need a break!!! Your next ad needs to read....

Mom needs a serious break!!!!
Please call ASAP!!! Price negotiable!
(555) 555-1234

Get yourself some relief!!! You'll be amazed at what a couple of days will do! Call up family from out of town and beg them to fly in! Tell them that your sanity depends on it!!!

Seriously... The week in the loony bin was just what I needed... lol

(Not that I am recommending my means of getting there... Children don't try this at home!) I know you've heard tons of mothers say that they wish someone would have them committed!!! That they could use the break!!!

Its true!!! lol A bit extreme, but true!! The Marriott and a hot pool boy to look at would be much nicer though!!!

Seriously! Take a break...

I have told the kids I'd like to go back to the looney bin for a break. Been there done that! lol! Seriously though, I do need a break and am going to take one just as soon as I can.

luvdorkyyorkies · 11-08-2006, 05:28 PM

Kitty

It will all work out. It always does.
Sending you a big hug.....send me one back will ya?.........LOL

It is or will be okay. Tell me later how right I was.

kitty · 11-08-2006, 05:31 PM

Right back at you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvdorkyyorkies

Kitty

It will all work out. It always does.
Sending you a big hug.....send me one back will ya?.........LOL

It is or will be okay. Tell me later how right I was.

11-08-2006, 06:10 AM	#32
bettyeanne Donating YT 7000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Alabama, etc. Posts: 9,031	I raised children alone [or practically, I had great parents who were always there for us] and it's so hard. I know everything looks bleak right now, but you can do it! You need help and a relationship with your children. Do you think they are mature enough to listen to you if you sat them down and discussed it all with them? Sometimes children will surprise you. I don't mean talk to them about financial matters or grownup things that they don't understand. Perhaps if they understood your feelings and frustrations and were willing to express theirs, you all could work out solutions together. I will be praying for you all ... keep your chin up, you just never know when things will begin to look up! Just know that there are people out here who love you! __________________ Toto's Mom - http://www.dogster.com/?206581 Yorkie Rescue Colorado - http://www.yorkierescuecolorado.com/ "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." -- Albert Einstein

11-08-2006, 06:27 AM	#34
kitty My Best Friend Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: oklahoma Posts: 2,258	I've tried sitting down with them and talking to them about the way I feel and the way they feel. My oldest has such an attitude here recently and when I try to talk to him about the way he is feeling he tells me nothings wrong with him and he doesn't feel anything. I just don't know what to do with him. It hurts me to see him so angry and hurtful to others because I know he is a really kind and caring person. I wish I could do something for him but I just don't know what. __________________ Support our Troops :

11-08-2006, 07:03 AM	#35
bettyeanne Donating YT 7000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Alabama, etc. Posts: 9,031	I found one way with mine was to talk to them one-on-one and look them straight in the eye .... force eye contact if you must. They realize that you are sincere in your feelings for them and soon they will be just as sincere with you. It takes lots of patience and many talks to bring about their trust, but it certainly worked for me. It's not easy when you have noone to help, but you can teach them that by sticking together that all of you can make it better and have such a wonderful life! Three very important rules that I used for me ... I never raised my voice ... I never corrected them in front of others and I never left the correction/discussion for later! My son is 44 now and he told me once that it meant so much to him to have our "conversations" in private and they had so much more impact! One of his friends' Mom was a screamer and never missed an opportunity to correct him in front of others. I have been heartbroken many times because I heard her do it and saw the crushed expression on his face as he just looked like he wanted to disappear. I still see him occasionally and he still gives me a big bear hug, tells me he loves me and proudly says "this is my MOM"!! It gives you a pretty good feeling. Sorry to ramble, but it just means so much to keep an open dialog with your kids. Once you can establish the one-on-one with them, then just like Kelly said, the Family Pow Wow is wonderful. Hopefully, they will feel part of a unit and not alone in this nasty old world, and makes such a difference! __________________ Toto's Mom - http://www.dogster.com/?206581 Yorkie Rescue Colorado - http://www.yorkierescuecolorado.com/ "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits." -- Albert Einstein

11-08-2006, 09:47 AM	#37
kitty My Best Friend Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: oklahoma Posts: 2,258	Yes my kids have been to thearapy. They really didn't benifit from it. They were in it for 2 years and nothing came of it. __________________ Support our Troops :

11-08-2006, 09:54 AM	#38
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	Kitty I know just what you mean ...I went from a 2 person relationship to just ME doing everything because he no longer can - and it's very stressful. Some days you just want to get in the car and keep on driving. I don't have the luxury of ever having any space to myself ...so to get that - I have to be the one who leaves to just be 'me' somewhere - It sucks to have someone around 24/7 - so be lucky your husband isn't home all the time.....I would welcome that ! My solution is play with the girls and feel blessed - things could always be so much worse and remember you have a home and healthy kids. I never had problems with my sons - but cherished the little boys they were and MISS those little boys so much. They're grown men now and I love them but there is nothing like having young kids....it's just the best. remember - your kids will be all grown up and moved out one day - too fast actually....Try to enjoy and relax and maybe get some medication to help YOU feel better. __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

11-08-2006, 06:08 AM	#31
luvdorkyyorkies BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,681	That sounds like a good idea!.......and so does going back to bed!........lol There for a while since I didnt have ANY time during the day I was staying up really late for my alone time, then had to get up at the crack of dawn. SInce I dont do well with just a bit of sleep, it made things worse for me...and boy was I cranky. I do occasional stay up late but I noticed if I go to bed and get plenty of rest when I should, the day certainly is much easier and brighter! Enjoy your day and take care of yourself.

11-08-2006, 06:21 AM	#33
luvdorkyyorkies BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,681	I think thats an idea Bettyanne worth trying. Maybe a family pawl wawl where everyone shows their concerns and has a voice. One thing Ive noticed is on the days I feel tired, cranky, overwhelmed....that is when my kids really show thier butts! I think its alot to do with me, Im short with them and have lil patience. My mood then rubs off on them!! And they are only 2 and 4. When I say to myself this stuff can wait till later! and show them patience and draw together , or play tea, or dolls or cars, and spend that important time with them, they are happier and so am I.

11-08-2006, 12:36 PM	#40
Potter YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 2,583	I am so sorry...I was reading this thread. I can't find much words to say and I am not one who knows how to talk a lot but try getting your daughter to understand and help? If she has such a kind heart of saving snails , I am sure she will try to understand mommy.Sometimes, I find daughters to be more understanding than sons although I don't have kids of my own, in my relationship with my parents, i dinf it that way. __________________ http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=410379 "No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich."

11-08-2006, 01:12 PM	#41
yorkieangel Rescue Angel Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: md Posts: 1,530	I so feel for you girlfriend. I kow exactly how you feel. One lucky thiing I found to help me through at least all the school issues was a WONDERFUL caring school counseler who worked with 2 of my boys the RIGHT way. It seems my son started a whole thing that they use now regular where the troubled kids go each morning before bell and get to talk or play or whatever they wish. They conselor puts them at ease for the day and the WHOLE school day goes MUCH smoother without all the usual issues that happened before. The woman never talked down to me and always seemed to truly care instead of that fake attitude that some scholl counselors use and tell you to see counseling because your kid is a freak or something. EACH year the boys do better and better in school because of her!!!! As for home. .... I also have no hunny home except a few days a month and NO FAMILY or friends anywhere near. The kids were wild and disrespectful. I know this sounds CRAZY but I made a HUGE poster chart and we list chores and stuff for each child for each day on it. Each day they get colored foil stars for accomplishing tasks. IF they complete EVERY task all week they get to go to Kmart or someplace and pick a small prize...OMG this thing has made my wildest child calm down. he even bosses the other how they better get their stars. I always make the chart with a couple simple chores like pick up toys and make bed... and include stuff like NO TOCHING all day(to stop the fighting) and going to bed wihout screaming or fighting. They know if they touch or fuight about bedtime they will lose the PRIZE. The younger kids LOVE seeing the stars go up each day as a chore is accoomplished and get a sense of PRIDE like they never had before!!!! __________________ Yorkieangel

11-08-2006, 04:53 PM	#42
Kathryn_V Out to Spoil the World! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Palm Springs, California Posts: 2,709	OMGosh! Its obvious that you have a bird! I laughed when I read that your guardian angles must have "plucked their wing feathers out" by now! lol That was a good one! It is tough when the "man" of the house is gone and your left to fill those shoes... You are already wearing the mom shoes... and the Taxi shoes and the housekeeper shoes and the zoo keeper shoes and the tutor shoes, not to mention the financial genius bill paying wizard shoes!!! How ever do you walk??? I swear you must be ten feet tall and have the biggest corns the world has ever seen!!! How on earth do you find time for yourself??? OH wait!!! You don't!!! Thats the problem! You totally need a break!!! Your next ad needs to read.... Mom needs a serious break!!!! Please call ASAP!!! Price negotiable! (555) 555-1234 Get yourself some relief!!! You'll be amazed at what a couple of days will do! Call up family from out of town and beg them to fly in! Tell them that your sanity depends on it!!! Seriously... The week in the loony bin was just what I needed... lol (Not that I am recommending my means of getting there... Children don't try this at home!) I know you've heard tons of mothers say that they wish someone would have them committed!!! That they could use the break!!! Its true!!! lol A bit extreme, but true!! The Marriott and a hot pool boy to look at would be much nicer though!!! Seriously! Take a break... __________________ Kathryn, Pixie and Chynna

11-08-2006, 05:28 PM	#44
luvdorkyyorkies BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 1,681	Kitty It will all work out. It always does. Sending you a big hug.....send me one back will ya?.........LOL It is or will be okay. Tell me later how right I was.