Omg my heart just shattered i need help

[cariblonde]

Originally Posted by 4doggiemama

I'm thankful that you feel that you can confide in YT members. Many men are addicted to porn. It used to be that it was only through magazines but now it has become so easily accessible. Our daughter, when in HS, discovered that my husband had been watching X-rated movies on satellite. She went to all the TVs and put a ratings-code in. I cried for days, but I never told my dh what I knew. We're still married and will stay that way, but there is a little place in my heart that died with that knowledge. And a part of me doesn't trust him. Always wonder what he's been up too. If men only knew the damage they create by allowing themselves to become involved with porn. Once is all it takes---just like drugs.

you are right and I'm sorry you had to deal with that

[BellieBoo]

just seeing how you are doing today, i hope you're doing a little better... and thank you for keeping us updated on how you are... we do worry... positive thoughts for you!!

{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

[AngelWorks]

And a lot of men will try to tell you that "all men look at it" and that its "normal". Its not normal, and its not ok ever, for anyone.

Oh yes--my ex tried to make me believe it was my problem for not understanding.

I understood all right. I understood it made me feel less than and tore away at my self esteem.

Not all men do though. I am married to one now who does NOT. The only time he's been in a strip club was when the feature he was working on was filming in one.

Of course, he's from Europe and I sometimes wonder about how Europeans having a much healthier and open view and speaking about sex makes the difference?

My 19 yr old DS recently said he sees no reason to ever go to a club.

I hope he holds that thought.

I never understood it. It would be like me as woman going to a chocolate factory and not being able to taste any.

[MindieRose]

Originally Posted by AngelWorks

I never understood it. It would be like me as woman going to a chocolate factory and not being able to taste any.

Exactly. Because the more chocolate you would see, the more you would crave it, and eventually want to taste it, or stuff yourself silly with it!

[MyPeanutAbbyGra]

Originally Posted by cariblonde

First of all let me say how touched I am that everyone is so kind I really feel like I have an extra support system out there it really means a lot but My husband and I are getting Divorced, the pics I found were of him and someone else and i just cant get that out of my head, I cant forgive him just yet, I just cant believe he could do something like that and then put them on the computer!! I guess maybe he was emailing them then forgot to erase the folder it is a struggle just to get out of bed and go to work I feel like I cant even breathe.......

Bless your heart. I'm so sorry

[AngelWorks]

Originally Posted by MindieRose

Exactly. Because the more chocolate you would see, the more you would crave it, and eventually want to taste it, or stuff yourself silly with it!

I'm right there with you.

I explained to my son way back in JrHigh that it was addictive, like crack and heroin and nicotine.

You just need to never give it a go. Full stop.

*sigh*

[MissPinkBarbie]

I'm so sorry to hear all this! ((I am a bit late with the news.. ))

God bless you darling! We're definately all here for you and are thinking about you.

Keep your head up and stay strong!

[*sophie's mama*]

Keep your chin up!

[JadedSmilez]

I am sorry your going thru this!

But I do think you really need to have both of you sit down with a marriage counselor and talk. Before you do anything out of anger/hurt/betrayal.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please know we are all here for you.

[Trina]

I'm sorry you have been going through all of this! I will keep you in my prayers!

[kandy313]

you can download a keylogger on your computer and when he uses it it will keep a record of every keystroke and website visited. Good luck girl i have been there,and i know what your going through.

[cariblonde]

sorry guys I havnt been on in a few days, My friends threw a party for me sat for my birthday, which is Tomorrow BTW, I did get some lunesta to help me sleep and that helps... thanks for being so concerned and for being so kind it does help...I feel like Im on a rollercoaster one minute I'm optimistic and feel like i am making the right decision and other times I just feel like a part of me died and I'm never going to get over this just the thought of him being in love and marrying someone else kills me, and I know i should wish him all the happiness and love in the world but I dont want him to ever love anyone else I know that is so selfish and i dont want to feel this way oh gosh when am I going to stop feeling this way

[hha]

Originally Posted by cariblonde

sorry guys I havnt been on in a few days, My friends threw a party for me sat for my birthday, which is Tomorrow BTW, I did get some lunesta to help me sleep and that helps... thanks for being so concerned and for being so kind it does help...I feel like Im on a rollercoaster one minute I'm optimistic and feel like i am making the right decision and other times I just feel like a part of me died and I'm never going to get over this just the thought of him being in love and marrying someone else kills me, and I know i should wish him all the happiness and love in the world but I dont want him to ever love anyone else I know that is so selfish and i dont want to feel this way oh gosh when am I going to stop feeling this way

If you feel that way, then I would suggest maybe seeing a marriage counselor first...he's still young..I always told my hubby, I don't care if you look, as long as you don't touch..Heck, back when we were married for 5 years, he went to a strip club, I didn't have a problem with that, and a few years later, I got together with a bunch of women, and we went to a male strip club..didn't do anything for me, but, we had a great time..

[Jody Renfroe]

I think what you're feeling is natural...and it's way to early IMO for you to be able to wish him happiness. Good Lord, look what you've been through. Time and distance will help, and one day, you may actually be able to wish him love and happiness and really mean it. Just too soon right now. Hugs!

[Yorkie Luv of 3]

Originally Posted by cariblonde

sorry guys I havnt been on in a few days, My friends threw a party for me sat for my birthday, which is Tomorrow BTW, I did get some lunesta to help me sleep and that helps... thanks for being so concerned and for being so kind it does help...I feel like Im on a rollercoaster one minute I'm optimistic and feel like i am making the right decision and other times I just feel like a part of me died and I'm never going to get over this just the thought of him being in love and marrying someone else kills me, and I know i should wish him all the happiness and love in the world but I dont want him to ever love anyone else I know that is so selfish and i dont want to feel this way oh gosh when am I going to stop feeling this way

well tomorrow,, mine is Thursday!! but ,, i'll be OLD,,lol, 55!!
I'm glad to see you here,, hope you had a good time with your friends and the party ,,
and you'll know what you have to do as you go along,,
you take care of yourself,, and let us hear how it goes for ya,,, vent anytime,, lots of shoulders here for ya!
remember,, Breath in,, Breath out,,