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05-08-2012, 02:57 PM | #1 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Northern California
Posts: 345
| My truth...is it anyone else's? We got Sami in early Feb. I paid a small fortune (IMO) for her and have since spent a couple more small fortunes on treats, toys, clothes, beds, a doll clothes armoire, doggy daycare, vet, etc. She is the little girl I never had. Now here is the big truth part... I am not a animal person. My life does not revolve around her. I have two young boys and a husband. My life revolves around the boys. I like Sami, even love her, take great care off her but sometimes I wish we hadn't got her. It is a lot of work and guilt. The guilt is because I like to take my boys to a lot of activities. She is never alone for more than 4 hours at a time, but I feel bad when she is left alone that long. And she has attached herself to me, but I need my space. I don't even like my kids to be on my lap all the time, so I certainly am not going to let her. Not to say I don't love on her or play with her, I do! My husband does and the boys love her. But I can tell she would love to be my little lap dog. Please don't take this post wrong, like she is neglected or mistreated, she is so not. She sleeps in her pink kennel and everyday at 5:30 am whines, so I go lay on the couch with her for another hour and a half. Every day! Sometimes my husband will do it, but she prefers me. I have seen people on here say their Yorkie "owns them" and other comments about him/her being the center of their lives, but this is not the case with me. She is very well cared for in fact spoiled but not the center of my life. I am sure someone with no kids would love for her to be their little lap dog. Can she be just as happy bring the spoiled family dog as the center of someone's life? I am hoping someone feels the same way. It is great for other people to be able to do that, but it is just not for me. This got to be longer than I expected so thank you for reading!
__________________ Sami, Pixi and Amanda Last edited by Sami_girl; 05-08-2012 at 02:58 PM. |
Welcome Guest! | |
05-08-2012, 03:22 PM | #2 |
Banning Thread Dictator Donating Member | That's a very thoughtful and honest post. Glad you shared. It will be interesting to read the replies. I don't have kids, so I'm coming from a different place than you. But I did go through something similar when we got our first Yorkie. I fell in love with him and wanted to take the best care possible of him. Like you, it bothered me when I had to leave him alone or his day was not filled with excitement from the moment we got up until the moment he went to bed. He went everywhere with me, and I even took him on vacations. I set a 5-hour time limit for unattended time, and I religiously dropped everything I was doing to make sure he got a burst of human activity on a day when he was spending a lot of time at home. He got two walks a day along with training sessions. I sometimes canceled appointments or left early to live up to my own expectations. But to be honest, it wore me out. While I never stopped loving him, at some level I resented that my life was built around him -- and the other dogs that would come into my life. So I relaxed my standards a little bit, and I'm comfortable with that. While it's still a goal to check in within 5 hours, it's no longer the law. I decided my pets are just that -- pets. They have a good life, but I don't cater to their every need. There are times when I leave them 8 or 9 hours, or blow off the evening walk because I'm tired. I also don't take them everywhere with me just because they give me the sad eyes when I leave the house. I also stopped taking them on vacations and learned to trust dog-sitters. I came to appreciate the "me time" it put back in my life. And I was pleasantly surprised that it had no ill effects on my dogs. The time we spend together is still just as rewarding to them as it is to me. And I discovered benefits in the new setup. They don't freak out when my wife and I don't check in every 5 hours. They just sleep a little longer. And they've become more social knowing that they sometimes get to stay with someone other than me for a couple weeks at a time. It's been a win-win situation, IMO.
__________________ Mike ~ Doting Dad to Jillie, Harper, Molly, Cooper, Eddie (RIP), Lucy (RIP), Rusty (RIP) and Jack (RIP). Check us out on YouTube |
05-08-2012, 03:30 PM | #3 |
Yorkie mom of 4 Donating YT Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: LaPlata, Md
Posts: 23,247
| I'm not one to judge how a person feels about there dog as long as its being taken care of. Callie is the center of my world but I am not married, have no children, can't work due to anxiety and depression so she is pretty much all I have and my world but I wouldn't change that ever. I think that it's sad that you wish sometimes you had not got her.
__________________ Taylor My babies Joey, Penny ,Ollie & Dixie Callie Mae, you will forever be in my heart! |
05-08-2012, 03:37 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: MD
Posts: 10,908
| It seems that I've had cats and dogs for the past 20 years of my life. I have loved and cherished every moment that I have had and have with them. When my cats came into my life, I owned my own bar so I worked like 90 hours a week so it was very apparent that the cats and I wouldn't get to spend that much time together. But when I was home, yes, they definitely got all the attention that I could give them--but I didn't and do not have children of my own either. As life progressed, vacations came and went and the cats well being was looked after by friends. This arrangement worked for some time and then hubby got a job where we were gone every weekend from May thru October and the cats needed to be looked after by a cat sitter. Boy was that an awakening, to have "someone else" take care of my babies. Well, they and I both survived. There are days that I would like a few moments to myself now. And I do take a few extra moments in the mornings. Thankfully hubby takes them out in the a.m. and I get to lounge about a little before the day gets hectic. I was a bit different than you as I was an at home doggie mom for the first 2 years of Hot Rod's life and Maggie's 1st. Boy did I feel terrible and guilty about leaving them. I only worked 5 minutes away but only got a 1/2 hour for lunch. I would bring a sandwich so I could eat it while driving or at my desk and then make a mad dash to walk them and then drive like a maniac back to work. lol Eventually I relaxed...they do use pads also. So why was I so driving like a crazed person to take them out every day? I eventually was able to skip a day or so and they survived. I do on occasion, go out for the day and run my errands and they still manage to survive. I love them to pieces but can totally understand the "me" factor. Hot Rod is almost 5 and there are times that he will go off into the sunroom and lay about and look out the windows all by himself. I tell myself, if he can take his time by himself, then so can I.
__________________ www.kissecollar.com Soft Cone Collars for Post-surgery and much more! 10% (non-food) - Discount code YT10 |
05-08-2012, 03:37 PM | #5 |
I love TBCG! Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: MD
Posts: 7,227
| I have similar things going on in my life..... a 4 year old skin child, a Yorkie, a Boxer, Husband, a full time job ect...I feel like my life revolves around all the wonderful things I listed minus the job I can say for me it was an interesting transition from being Georgie and Coco's Mommy to being Isaiah (my skin childs) Mommy too, because at that point they were my only babies. We never left Georgie home alone period before we had Isaiah he always went to his grandparents. However, now with preschool, T-ball and all the fun stuff he stays home for 3-4 hours and much to my surprise he is just fine upon my return When my husband and I have date night (which isn't often) the furbabies go to their grandparents too. I don't think what you said makes you wrong just as I don't think those that their lives revolve around their furbabies are wrong either. I think we all have our priorities and as long as we put those that we love and love us at the top that's what's important
__________________ Morgan Mommy toGeorgie boy & Isaiah RIP sweet Coco 10/12/99-8/1/12 Read About Georgie's Experience with Atlantoaxial Instability (AAI) Here! Last edited by GeorgiesMomma; 05-08-2012 at 03:39 PM. |
05-08-2012, 03:48 PM | #6 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Southern California
Posts: 443
| I accept your truth. It is what it is. Incidentally, my truth is different from yours. I consider my yorkie Tatiana family. It's mutual. As a pack animal, she sees me as part of her pack (and thus, I her). She loves me, and I love her back. Yes, Tatiana is spoiled. She is spoiled sweet, not spoiled rotten. There is a difference. I can't begin to tell you how many people comment on how well behaved she is. That is because she is loved. Tatiana does not act out (because her needs are met as far as social, exercise, food, etc). Well, I guess this my truth. |
05-08-2012, 03:58 PM | #7 |
♥ Love My Tibbe! ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: D/FW, Texas
Posts: 22,140
| Does she get good play & outside time to just be a dog & develop her dog instincts with your lifestyle? If not, she may develop some behavior problems as dogs are active & fun-loving little creatures. An "only dog" needs either another pet in the home or someone to give them some doggie time & with a Yorkie, they need to be constantly supervised when outside due to their small size & huge prey drive as they are tempted to run & chase squirrels, other dogs, cats, etc. What if she should get very, very ill - are you prepared to properly vet & care for her, including the time & great deal of money it could take, through the rest of her natural life? These are all things to consider long & hard. Does she have some time with you for training and playing games if there is no other dog or child to play with her & keep her active & challenged? If not, again, you could have some problems with her. On the other hand, there are some sedentary type dogs who don't require so much attention and do well living a more solitary life. My Jilly was one of those quieter, more solitary dogs who did well on her own while I worked & didn't care much for play. She insisted on being an "only dog". My Tibbe who I have had 4 years is a fireball of energy & happily for both of us takes all of my time & I suspect he would be miserable living like Jilly lived. He would love a houseful of brother- & sister- Yorkies! Usually the relationship a true doglover has with his or her dog is largely one of wide-eyed, besotted, head-over-heels puppylove on both sides, happily all-consuming & they are more than ready & able to accommodate the dog's needs & wishes, loving 99.99% of it & never resenting one moment of it. If you don't feel that way and feel that your family & this girl may be happier with someone who has the time & inclination to devote more time & attention to her wants & needs, you & she may be happier if you rehome her. If you do, I would consult with someone here on how to correctly place her in a responsible, forever dogloving home of someone who will never breed her & who fits a strict bill of must-have characteristics. I think you were honest & forthright in your post & that kind of self-awareness is a good, good thing in any situation. I hope you can work out what is going to work best for you & your family & your little Yorkie. God bless!
__________________ Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis |
05-08-2012, 04:11 PM | #8 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 7,946
| I can understand what you are saying. When my children were young, we had two shih tzus and a cat that were well taken care of and loved but our household was so busy at times, I really don't think even the kids noticed them some days. It was different with Molly who I loved (adored) and then Crystal the same. I still wanted to treat them like dogs. Molly got the very basic of training but Crystal went on to the very advanced. Not as great as Alaskayorkies but she did make the children at the 'Children's Hospital' smile once a week. She knew it was her job to make the little ones assigned to her happy. Your post was very honest and I admire you for it.
__________________ Last edited by crystalsmom; 05-08-2012 at 04:12 PM. |
05-08-2012, 04:17 PM | #9 |
Banning Queen Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Home of the Kalamazoo Wings, MI.
Posts: 3,122
| For me I got Princess so my life could basically revolve around her. My skin daughter was 12 at the time & exercising her newly earned freedom with friends, etc. while I was abruptly put on disability from a job I'd spent the last nine years at. I thought we could get a dog to keep me busy & for me to spoil. This was about 2.5 years ago & I've been back to work for about nine months now. Sometimes I feel guilty that Princess wants to play & I'm just too tired & unmotivated so I usually just force myself. However, that's something I'm working on changing. She has a very demanding personality (as many yorkies can) but if her basic needs are being met I don't always go the extra mile. It took a lot of training on my part to stop it. I still hate to leave her home alone & try to take her to my parents if I know we'll be gone for the day. Lord knows I've spent too much of my life sleeping-I don't wish the same for her. I think that as much as you can prepare your life for a pet they always require more than we think, just like a human child. I hope you're able to find a balance that makes you both happy so she does not bring out any resentment. I also hope you don't feel guilty to not giving into every little whim. Some can and some do, but it's not the only way to be a puppy parent. I'm glad you're honest about your truth, perhaps if others were it could save a lot of heartache for a furkid or their parent.
__________________ For The Night Is Dark & Full Of Terriers |
05-08-2012, 04:23 PM | #10 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 7,946
| Princess 10 [quote]I also hope you don't feel guilty to not giving into every little whim. Some can and some do, but it's not the only way to be a puppy parent. [end quote] So true!
__________________ |
05-08-2012, 04:31 PM | #11 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Indiana
Posts: 793
| Your honesty is good. I love it. I bought Bella from a mom of a 3 year old. More or less she didn't have time for her, I don't think. Her friends even told her she was crazy considering the yorkie with a toddler. I found her, and she is perfect in my house. It's only my husband and I now. Our kids are grown and married with their own lives. But in the past, my other dog was part of the family but was easily put on hold often when there was things the kids had to do. Good luck. Don't feel guilty, it sounds like she is still very loved. |
05-08-2012, 05:36 PM | #12 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Lafayette, LA
Posts: 143
| I got Avery knowing that Yorkies require a lot of attention and have that 'baby' aspect to them. I wanted a baby, but then he came along and baby no more-- he's all I ever needed. Some people just want Yorkies because they are cute, but then find out they are super dependent and their lifestyle doesn't match that. I can honestly tell you love her, but if you regret getting her, maybe she isn't living up to her fullest potential. Avery comes EVERYWHERE with me (minus a few places), because a.) he loves to go, and b.) he'd cry ALL day if I left him alone. Yorkies are perfect for families who grew up with them, who have an empty nest, or people who just need a life companion. They aren't as independent as other dogs. I think as your children grow older, you may want her around more-- they're just so cuddly!
__________________ Avery's momma! |
05-08-2012, 06:09 PM | #13 | |
Max Main's Mamma Donating YT Member | Quote:
First off, I just wanted to compliment you on your writing abilities and insightful post. I am a fairly new Yorkie mom but I am much like you were....Yorkie obsessed. I am not a mother and I have 2 older Boxers who I adore; however, Max came into my life and has changed me. I need his love as much (or more) than he needs me. Things would be different if I had kids and I do not think that anyone is a "bad" dog owner for not centering their world around their animals. Great thread and post!!!
__________________ Max and Sheli | |
05-08-2012, 06:13 PM | #14 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Central, NJ
Posts: 268
| Thanks for your comments. I was actually speaking to a co-worker about this today. I got Coco Chanel from a neighbor who I would puppy sit for. At times i'd come home from work and hear her barking upstairs and knew she was alone and hungry. Saving grace was that neighbor gave me key so I was able to pick her up, being her home and take care of her needs until neighbor came home. I had her for 6 straight days while neighbor went on vacation with her new boyfriend last August. Coco greeted her upon return, then hid under my dining room table and wouldn't come when called. She never went upstairs again. I never had a dog growing up and having one now is not something I would have done on my own. I consider us two souls who needed and found each other. I still don't have a handle on balancing both our needs but it's a work in progress. I can't imagine my life without her and I hope that she'll have a long life with me. But should she leave me prematurely, I don't think I'd have a need to have another pup. |
05-08-2012, 06:16 PM | #15 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Lafayette, LA
Posts: 143
| Quote:
__________________ Avery's momma! | |
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