I am the worst mom ever

[yorkietalkjilly]

No, not inconsiderate, sick with worry about your dog and her feelings.

[gaijingirl]

I think it's a very difficult decision you have to make. I hope the sharing of opinions here, however they came across, can help to aid you in that process of making this tough choice.

I think, in an online forum, it's so easily to misinterpret the words we read, because we can't hear them in the expression and tone they are made.
My mother used to say, "it's not what you say, it's how you say it." Unfortunately, in this online setting, we can only read what is said, but are not able to hear how things are said, which leads them to be read and interpreted in so many ways, in so many minds.
And of course, you will personally be extra sensitive to what is said in this thread, because it is about you and your dog. But, when I read it, honest to goodness, I was surprised that everyone was so kind and understanding! I have seen so many threads (usually ones on breeding and breeding accidents) get very heated and I was pleasantly surprised that this thread was not like that. So, I hope you are able to recognize that all of these people who reached out to you did so as pet owners/breeders and animal lovers, just as you are. They want to support other owners and they also want to see the best thing for the dog. There is so much love for these little dogs here, you know?

[lisaly]

I am first reading this thread now. I think it's obvious that you love your little Bee and are scared. You've heard conflicting information. I honestly would never do anything to purposely hurt you. Because you love your baby and you are so confused, I feel I want to protect you from anything that could hurt you or your baby. When I was a little girl, we had a poodle who we lost having puppies. The sire of the puppies was the same size as our little girl, Gigi, and I know my mom was trying to be careful. His lines must have been larger, however, and the pups were too big for Gigi. My mother was such a huge animal lover, and I grew up surrounded by dogs. I know my mother completely adored Gigi; they had a very special bond together. She was devastated that she lost her little girl and that she was responsible for it. It had such a huge impact on me, even as a six year old girl. I decided I would never put one of my babies at risk, no matter how nice the idea of puppies was. I didn't know what I know now, and even if I hadn't been colored by this experience, I also know about health testing and many other things that are necessary before having puppies. Your little Bee's life is at such a great risk, and I believe yours is also. I don't think you could ever live with yourself if something happened to the little one you love so much. Bee is still a baby, far too young to be a mother, even if you knew the male's lines were small enough for her. I know you don't want to put her at risk. I don't mean to make you more conflicted, and I really do mean it that I'm thinking about what I believe is best for you too. You love your little girl, and even if it was a small risk (and I believe it's a big risk), I don't think it's worth it to you. I don't want to see anything happen to you or little Beyonce. I honestly only know what I've read, and I admit the experience as a little girl affected me. I just think that, unless you have real experience and the size of the lines are very similar, it's too risky. If you need some support, I'll give it. I'm scared for both of you, though. I am not trying to be mean to you, quite the contrary, in fact. When I care about someone, I try to protect them. I hope to be able to protect you and your baby from anything that could harm both of you. You are a loving mom, and now you need to do something to protect your little girl from any possible harm, and you also need to allow her to be a puppy, free of the responsibilities of motherhood. She is such a sweet, adorable little baby, and I know your heart is in the right place. I'm sorry if I hurt you; it was definitely not my intent.

[ErinsWhitney]

Originally Posted by gaijingirl

I think it's a very difficult decision you have to make. I hope the sharing of opinions here, however they came across, can help to aid you in that process of making this tough choice.

I think, in an online forum, it's so easily to misinterpret the words we read, because we can't hear them in the expression and tone they are made.
My mother used to say, "it's not what you say, it's how you say it." Unfortunately, in this online setting, we can only read what is said, but are not able to hear how things are said, which leads them to be read and interpreted in so many ways, in so many minds.
And of course, you will personally be extra sensitive to what is said in this thread, because it is about you and your dog. But, when I read it, honest to goodness, I was surprised that everyone was so kind and understanding! I have seen so many threads (usually ones on breeding and breeding accidents) get very heated and I was pleasantly surprised that this thread was not like that. So, I hope you are able to recognize that all of these people who reached out to you did so as pet owners/breeders and animal lovers, just as you are. They want to support other owners and they also want to see the best thing for the dog. There is so much love for these little dogs here, you know?

Me too! Pleasantly so. OP, I'm know you are very upset, and maybe taking astep back is a good idea, but please know that everyone here (for the most part) is just concerned about little Bee, and is trying to help you make the right decision for HER. I agree that the majority of the time, some folks can be pretty rude and nasty with their opinions but I honestly don't see that on this thread. I think you are sensetive about this subject, which is totally understandable, I would be too! But please don't jump ship and give up because of a misunderstanding. There are some very smart people around here whos advice could prove to be invaluable to you and Bee if you decide to let her whelp her puppies, and they tend to be very supportive and generous with their advice! Try and sift through the rude and just take the advice and help with you when you read. It's the nature of the online forum beast. Good luck with whatever you decide and I will keep you and little Bee in my thoughts and prayers! I hope you update now and then...she's gonna be on my mind now!

[katienme2002]

Well I have no good advice to offer..so with that being said I will continue to say prayers and send good thoughts your way. I really dont think everyone was trying to be ugly to you, but we all care about one anothers furkids and when you post things here we become involved. Maybe things were just taken the wrong way....But I wish you both the best.

[Deuce]

Originally Posted by BeyonceMomma23

The thing that bothers me the most is the way peopple responded, I would never post something that would make another YT member cry & feel horrible & just wanna give up, even if I totally disagreed. I would show support & give my opinion in a nice way but tell them I still suppport.
I just wish I got the same

Originally Posted by BeyonceMomma23

I would never make a choice that would put her at risk. End of story.
& others see it, it isnt just me who sees it. I had people PM me to make sure I was fine after the way people talked to me

Originally Posted by BeyonceMomma23

& this is why I ddint post back because of inconsiderate people like you. MAYBE YOU SHOULD READ EVERY POST OVER AGAIN & THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND. OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GET OFF OF MY THREAD. As I said if she would be fine I will let her she is going to the damn vet next week. I never said my mind was made up either. Dont comment on this again, you are unconsiderate. I never said ANYTHING was about me, I just said I wished I had support instead of ugly nasty comments like yours. Goodbye.

I understand that you know you made a mistake leaving two intact dogs alone while the female was in heat. And from your many replys I guess we're all supposed to just say that "don't worry there is no risk at all, please trust your PetSmart vet and enjoy the cute little puppies that are bound to be produced from this breeding".
The reality of the situation is that with the large male dog as the sire it's extremely likely that she will need a c-section that is not only expensive but very risky. You say you would never make a choice that would put her at risk, but you already have. You left her alone with an intact male assuming he was "un-interested" in her. Worse things have happened, but now it is on you, Bee's mom, to get her the help she needs. Yes, it means she will need a surgery, but it'll possibly be a life-saving surgery. I know how non-chalante vets can be about our pets when we do a telephone consultation (ran into that just last night with my cat) so don't trust them over the phone. Go in, have them do an examination, measurements, blood tests, and a spay if you are willing to do what is best for her.
From pics I see on here of Bee she appears to have a very delicate build, I'm no breeder, but from what I've seen and read a "dainty" female is likely to require a c-section even when bred to a smaller male of the same breed. The sire of this potential litter is another breed which is much larger than a yorkie, which is what has so many posters concerned (and not in the hand holding, "everything will be okay" way, that's what your mom is for). It's likely that any attempt for her to whelp this litter will kill her. I know, and ugly thing that shouldn't be said on "your thread" but you have no way to dictate how people will respond. You knew when you posted this what kind of responses to expect, concerned yorkie parents that would rush their female to the vet's office for an emergency spay and they don't understand why you aren't willing to do the same. This "wait and see" approach could KILL your girl. Pretending that nothing is wrong could also prove fatal for Bee.
What happens if Bee goes into labor before the "1 week before" x-ray? then you have no clue what to expect, as in how many pups, how large they are, etc. What if at the x-ray session you find out that she only has one pup in her and it's too large for her to pass, you would then be risking both hers and the pups lives to do an expensive surgery to remove the pup. What if she dies during labor and you now have 5 puppies to feed and take care of? I know people hate "what-ifs?" but they are things you need to think about before you decide to "go through with it". I can tell you love you little Bee but she is relying on you to do what is right for her. I'm praying that you do right by Bee and she is allowed to live a nice long full happy life as your wonderfully loved pet.

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by cally930

What I have learned on YT is that the breeders here...............know more than my vet about breeding and whelping these tiny dogs!!!

I could not agree with this more, which is why we are all lucky, as a community, that the experienced breeders are still willing to help...despite the fact that they take so much heat for helping. Vets can be EXcellent diagnosticians, but when it comes to things like whelping, breeding, nutrition, specialty diagnoses - they have their limits, as they should.

Originally Posted by BeyonceMomma23

you all want to know why I am not posting on here ? it's because most people have not posted in a nice supportive way. their opinions were nasty sounding & I don't feel like the people who are going to sound negative really deserve the reply. anyone who honestly cared about not only Bee but about ME reached out to me & messaged me or emailed me. not just asking if I was gonna reply. so to Armaniman & everyone else that's why I haven't responded, because you all made me upset with your mean sounding opinions. I was willing for open honest opinions. but most of yours sounded nasty. not ALL, but most. I was excepting nice helpful opinions & I am not the only one who thinks you were sounding nasty. so unless you're trying to be SUPPORTIVE i don't want an opinion or comment. thanks. have a good day.

-Lauren & Bee

Lauren, I would say this as I would to any good friend: take some deep breaths!!! Several people are trying to support you through making a healthy decision for your beloved girl. This is a very emotional decision, so please bear that in mind as you respond to people.

I see very supportive and helpful posts here. I see concern both about your girl, and about you.

Don't beat yourself up about what happened . Mistakes happen to all of us. Let the mistake go, and focus now on doing what is best for the best outcome.

I can only say what I'd think I'd do if I was in your situation: I'd have a spay immediately. Whelping, as we've seen here at YT, can often be life or death - even for those whom are most experienced.

There is no easy decision here, but I think there is one that would be the most safe and the most predictable for your kiddo.

Like I said, don't forget to take some deep breaths, have an open mind to suggestions, and try not to read into things in such a way that it clouds the message of the poster.

You do have support, so use it!

[katienme2002]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

I could not agree with this more, which is why we are all lucky, as a community, that the experienced breeders are still willing to help...despite the fact that they take so much heat for helping. Vets can be EXcellent diagnosticians, but when it comes to things like whelping, breeding, nutrition, specialty diagnoses - they have their limits, as they should.



Lauren, I would say this as I would to any good friend: take some deep breaths!!! Several people are trying to support you through making a healthy decision for your beloved girl. This is a very emotional decision, so please bear that in mind as you respond to people.

I see very supportive and helpful posts here. I see concern both about your girl, and about you.

Don't beat yourself up about what happened . Mistakes happen to all of us. Let the mistake go, and focus now on doing what is best for the best outcome.

I can only say what I'd think I'd do if I was in your situation: I'd have a spay immediately. Whelping, as we've seen here at YT, can often be life or death - even for those whom are most experienced.

There is no easy decision here, but I think there is one that would be the most safe and the most predictable for your kiddo.

Like I said, don't forget to take some deep breaths, have an open mind to suggestions, and try not to read into things in such a way that it clouds the message of the poster.

You do have support, so use it!

:thum bup:

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

The father is not 150% bigger. He is 300% bigger.

Ohmygoodness - your are right - 300% larger! Turn on my worrier, turn off my calculator. That would be like breeding a 60 lb. female standard poodle to one of those 180 lb. GSD or pitbull monsters some advertise online or in the backs of dog magazines!

I know when I Googled breeding size recommendations for females, as I remember from reading all my doggie books' breeding sections, they said breeding a very much larger male can be highly dangerous to the female and recommended a smaller male, preferably. Others made scary comments as to the health of the puppies when even breeding a very large female to a very undersized male. Ever since I read OP, I've been checking back to see how this baby is doing. Oh, I hope she makes it.

[Furbaby Friend]

OP, color me surprised at this reaction...

I was actually kind of proud of YT for their behavior on this thread. It wasn't attacking or accusatory and really very supportive compared to other "oops" threads. People didn't jump down your throat for bringing your pup around an intact male when you knew she was in heat or attack you for any reason. Most just stated their opinions of what they would do in your situation or told you that you should get another opinion from a more experienced source.

In my opinion, the thread was really quite tame until people started getting antsy when there wasn't an update. Everyone is concerned and worried about Bee, that's all.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide. Good thoughts coming Bee's way.

[deonk1]

I just wanted to thank you for the update, I was worried about you and your little one. Please keep us posted on your little girl.

I agree with the above post that the behavior on this has actually been rather tame. I think everyone who posted is here trying to support you. It's a tough situation, we all know that you didn't mean for it to happen and we all just want to help you get through this.

Hugs to you and Bee, I really hope it all works out, whatever the decision.

I do also want to throw in, that you are right in the sense that it would be harsh to end the puppies lives if they are going to be ok... BUT my concern was just making sure that your little one makes it out of the process ok. I'm not a breeder, I only go by what I hear, so I offer no advice only that you make sure you trust the people giving you the ok to keep with the pregnancy or spay. Pick the source you feel has the most credibility. It may very well be a breeder over a vet. I do wish to offer my support for you.

good luck, and please keep us updated.

[cheryl19]

Originally Posted by Furbaby Friend

OP, color me surprised at this reaction...

I was actually kind of proud of YT for their behavior on this thread. It wasn't attacking or accusatory and really very supportive compared to other "oops" threads. People didn't jump down your throat for bringing your pup around an intact male when you knew she was in heat or attack you for any reason. Most just stated their opinions of what they would do in your situation or told you that you should get another opinion from a more experienced source.

In my opinion, the thread was really quite tame until people started getting antsy when there wasn't an update. Everyone is concerned and worried about Bee, that's all.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide. Good thoughts coming Bee's way.

I too see only concern for your girl. I would have her spayed ASAP. It would be better to spay her then to have the litter. Please take what these people say to heart they only care about yorkies and are not trying to be mean to you.

[AllDogBoots]

Maybe I am completely, grossly uneducated about breeding, but I don't see why this is such a difficult decision. Why not just spay her and save your precious pup's life? I don't get this at all.

[ArmaniMan]

Wow! Since you chose to single me out as the mean, nasty one. I will say what I really think, not the nice sugar coated version I previously gave you. Don't come crying here when Bee is dead since you are purposefully putting her life at risk. I don't believe you talked to 15 vets before you posted here and now since top toy reproductive specialists, I think you want cute puppies in the house and are making excuses to get them. Now THAT is mean, not me stating the obvious that it didn't look like we were getting a reply.

[MyLilyRose]

I honestly think this thread needs to be closed before it gets too out of hand...