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09-05-2007, 10:35 AM | #16 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Florida
Posts: 1,375
| [QUOTE= I can also tell you that I was in an abusive relationship, with a "wonderful, upstanding" guy. And I can tell you that's how it started. He lost his temper with one of my pets. It wasn't very long after that when he lost his temper with me. I understand you feeling stuck there. I felt the same way. I finally had enough, swallowed my pride, and called my family.[/QUOTE] Ditto! Do what you have to do. It will only escalate!!! |
Welcome Guest! | |
09-05-2007, 10:35 AM | #17 | |
& Reicher Baby, too! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 1,675
| Quote:
That is just ridiculous that he would do that to your dog. I know he probably means a lot to you, but one day he might do something much worse to your dog, and then you'll regret it. You said you have problems communicating, and I know I'm young...but I also know that's the number 1 reason for divorce. I think you need to sit him down and tell it like it is. If he won't listen, you need to do whatever you can to get out! now!
__________________ Teri, Reicher , Kobi , Killian | |
09-05-2007, 10:46 AM | #18 |
Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida
Posts: 14,495
| Could you live with a friend or go back home. If he did that to your dog, I'd hate to see what he'd do to you if he got mad.
__________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki |
09-05-2007, 10:46 AM | #19 |
T&T-DYNOMITE! Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,111
| I really do appreciate what you all are saying. And that's why I came to YT with my problem. I want honest opinions. I know that non communication often causes divorce, but I also know that it took years for the happy couples I know to become happy couples, and the only reason they stayed that way is because they refused to give up. I don't want to give up on this guy. He can be so wonderful. And he can be so crazy. But if I gave up on him now, and in a year he grew out of all of this behavior, then I would have screwed myself. He is going to be a wonderful man, he is very nurturing, he loves to work with kids, he spoils me rotten. The only reason I have my two pups is because of him. And the only reason I don't live in a box is because of him. He supports my dreams. My parents have been married for 35 years, and they have been blissful all of my life. But the 10 years they were married before I was born were not as blissful. And I wouldn't exist if they hadn't stuck it out and worked through their problems. I can't see this guy being like this for the rest of his life! He is only 23. Did any of you get married young? Was it perfect from the start? I just don't know about anything but my own personal experience, and this guy is the best guy I've ever dated. A genuinely good guy. He loves me, loves my family, and gives in to my every wish. Ugh, y'all are making this harder instead of easier. BUT THAT'S GOOD! I need to talk about this, it helps me think things through. And since I don't have friends here to hash it out with, I need you ladies!
__________________ TBone Tina & Lauren |
09-05-2007, 10:47 AM | #20 |
T&T-DYNOMITE! Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,111
| Don't have TX friends. My family lives in Nowhere, KS, the place I just left. I needed to leave KS, because there aren't a lot of opportunities for an aspiring opera singer there. Not any that I haven't explored, at least.
__________________ TBone Tina & Lauren |
09-05-2007, 10:53 AM | #21 |
Furbutts = LOVE Donating Member Moderator | Oh honey. That is so wrong, I don't even know what to write. You can't be with a person for the man he GOING to be, you choose a partner based on who they ARE.
__________________ ~ A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn. ~ °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° Ann | Pfeiffer | Marcel Verdel Purcell | Wylie | Artie °¨¨¨°ºOº°¨¨¨° |
09-05-2007, 11:07 AM | #22 |
My Four Sweet Babies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: South Jersey near Philadelphia
Posts: 5,452
| Aren't you worried that Tbone will get pneumonia? I would be. I wake up in the middle of the night to cover Kalina because I think the air conditioning might be too cold. For the record, this is something I don't really want to write, but for your sake I will: My daughter is married to a man and has four children. She is still waiting for him to "change and get better". He never will. Now, instead of just her being the target of his crazy mood swings she has helpless little children who are suffering. She has a brand new car, he drives a Mercedes, and they have a beautiful home, swim club, the full monty -- but no one is happy. As to the crate problem: I took an upholstered chair and put it facing our bed but directly butted up against the bed and covered it with a nice soft blanket. Kalina sleeps on the chair from 10PM until 6 or 7AM like a little angel. She can't fall off because she is surrounded by the arms of the chair, the back of the chair, and the bed. She is right next to me so I can pat her or cover her if she wakes up. And we get a good nights sleep without her underfoot. It's a perfect arrangement for us - maybe you could try something like that?? Meanwhile, think carefully about your situation - Good luck.
__________________ I LOVE MY BABIES |
09-05-2007, 11:08 AM | #23 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Florida
Posts: 1,375
| Note Wylie's Mom's last line on her message "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals". So true. Honey, if you were my child, I'd be begging you to come home. |
09-05-2007, 11:09 AM | #24 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A little town south of Chicago
Posts: 4,525
| It is certain that you are not going to leave this man so do the right thing by the poor pup. Please think about rehoming your dog. This is a Texas rescue group that also rescues yorkies. Go to their website and see what they are all about. PLEASE! http://www.malteserescue.us/ Does anyone else know of any Yorkie rescues in Texas? |
09-05-2007, 11:16 AM | #25 |
T&T-DYNOMITE! Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,111
| That really puts things in perspective for me. I'd leave my man before I'd leave my dog. And life wouldn't be ok at all around here without my little ones. Sigh...
__________________ TBone Tina & Lauren |
09-05-2007, 11:18 AM | #26 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| ok listen,,, you need to sit down tonight, yes tonight with your boyfriend and communicate before its too late... sit his but down and say, we now have to talk... tell him how you feel and also tell him he is how he is mistreating your puppy... maybe he feels bad,, just feel him out. let him know you wont stand for that nonsense anymore... tell him, you hurt the dog, you hurt me.... talk, talk, talk,, you say he is a great guy,,well then let him prove it .... to all of us since you came here for help..... we are here to help you not hurt you....
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
09-05-2007, 11:27 AM | #27 |
& Bailey & Bella Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 8,164
| IF you lived with a roommate or a girlfriend and SHE did the same thing to your dog.. How would you react? I bet you'd throw their butt out.. right?? Why do some women let MEN get away with crap that they would let NO ONE else get away with?? Just something for you to ponder..
__________________ Rhonda, Bailey, Josie and my angel Bella Rue' "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~Anatole France~ Last edited by rrosenberry; 09-05-2007 at 11:28 AM. |
09-05-2007, 11:41 AM | #28 |
Banning Thread Dictator Donating Member | I'll stay out of the relationship advice. I think the women on this site are doing just fine there. I'm just worried about the dogs. I would recommend finding a behaviorist for the dog. They are not cheap, but in your case it would be money well spent. You are doing a lot of stuff wrong with the crate training, and some of the mistakes you've made have the potential to scar the pup for life. You need professional help right away. If nothing else, the behaviorist will teach BF, and you, how to care for a dog.
__________________ Mike ~ Doting Dad to Jillie, Harper, Molly, Cooper, Eddie (RIP), Lucy (RIP), Rusty (RIP) and Jack (RIP). Check us out on YouTube Last edited by alaskayorkie; 09-05-2007 at 11:42 AM. |
09-05-2007, 11:47 AM | #29 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida
Posts: 3,436
| Quote:
Many know I have been on this forum for a long time and have steered clear of most issues like this but the boyfriend putting the dog in the shower KILLS me and makes me question what the heck you are thinking by not nipping this problem ASAP. Honestly it is a dog and he is a grown man....GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK!!
__________________ Caren, mommy to Murphy and Mia Murphy WUVS his girlfriend Trixie | |
09-05-2007, 11:47 AM | #30 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 1,093
| Quote:
This guy sounds incorrigible ... and that is not a good prognosis for a happy life together ... my heart hurts for you and your babies .... That bath soaking story made me sad, very sad ... I would recommend a serious sit down "heart-to-heart" with him about what is important to you....
__________________ Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein." -- H. Jackson Brown Last edited by Janie616; 09-05-2007 at 11:48 AM. | |
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