Needing someone to exchange thoughts on this..

[IluvLucy]

Potter,
I understand completely. When my husband died last October I felt like my life was over. I fight depression every day and have withdrawn from life in general. I don't want to be around people with the exception of my children and close family.

I'm to the point now where I realize Mark would hate for me to feel like this. He loved me and was very proud of me and seeing how I am now would truly upset him. I'm beginning to take an interest now in my closest friends but it's very difficult. I haven't been to church since he died even though I am a Christian and know that everything happens for a reason and HE has a plan for us all.

Please get help. I did and am beginning to feel alive again. God bless

[Peters]

yes almost daily
i just want to go to sleep all the time things are better when i'm dreaming! i don't have it that bad but i don't have it that good either you know! i believe the way i am is partly in the way i have been raised and how parents treat you from the beginning has a big impact on how you will be when your grown.
i hope things get better for you !! but yeah i totally get it!

[Potter]

Originally Posted by Piccolo's mom

Potter,

I am really hurt very badly just now. I had no idea about your depression or feeling lonely here, in Canada, when I first contacted you a few times and invited you to visit me and Piccolo. I even gave you my telephone #, directions to my house and locations of a go-train. I kept saying how much I wanted to meet you and your baby. And it was a few weeks ago. You never came , never called me and now I am reading how sad you are not having any friends to talk to. It really doesn't add up. If somebody offers you her/his frienship and you ignore it - you'll be alone no matter what.
I also told you that I have a beautiful parklike area around my house and we could take our babies there to have lots of fun. And since you take your puppy for a walk everyday, I thought it'll be fun for all of us.

I wish you all the best and try to think about what I wrote.

Yes I know. I remember very well of your invitation. Please don't be hurt. I am trying and struggling. Last night was bad..today I feel better..its always in waves, up down up down. Before hubby said he would bring me but he is always busy and now he is not around for a few days. I did say I will visit you when he is off for vacation. He is worried about me going to see you alone and wants me to go with someone else like his brother but I am not sure if I want to.I am not comfortable of that; I really am not. I will make the trip tomorrow as the weather says it will not be raining and that is the only day it is not going to rain in the next few days I think.I don't know how to explain to you..its the emotional struggle sometimes but ya baby and I wants to meet you.I will drop you a call tonight and set up a time.

[Brookef18]

Originally Posted by Potter

Hi Villette,

I was aware of your situation but I didn't know how you are taking it because you usually sound really cheerful. Its good that you are opening up to us too. As for you mentioning people DON'T WANT to hear about that kind of thing, real friends will understand. If they are always hanging around you and asking you questions, you know they want you to talk to them more than just the average trivial stuff. I do hope there is someone like this around you. If there is, try not to shut them off. Try to reach out. If there isn't, come to YT like I did...I never regret posting the thread now. You can always PM me also. I do understand the part about a deathwatch. Somehow, I think you have to talk about it be it online or to one of your friends. Usually, women fare better when they talk about stuffs.

Here is my favourite quote from the Bible.
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" --Matthew 6:34

I know saying is easy than putting it in to action and an unknown future is always scary but there will always be a future and that hope will keep you going.

I love that chapter in the bible... I always refer back to it cause I am a worrier!!! Thanks for that riminder!!!

[Brookef18]

Originally Posted by Piccolo's mom

Potter,

I am really hurt very badly just now. I had no idea about your depression or feeling lonely here, in Canada, when I first contacted you a few times and invited you to visit me and Piccolo. I even gave you my telephone #, directions to my house and locations of a go-train. I kept saying how much I wanted to meet you and your baby. And it was a few weeks ago. You never came , never called me and now I am reading how sad you are not having any friends to talk to. It really doesn't add up. If somebody offers you her/his frienship and you ignore it - you'll be alone no matter what.
I also told you that I have a beautiful parklike area around my house and we could take our babies there to have lots of fun. And since you take your puppy for a walk everyday, I thought it'll be fun for all of us.
I wish you all the best and try to think about what I wrote.

I wouldn't take this personal. When you are depressed it is hard to force your self to do anything...Even if it's something fun! It's like being in a big black whole and not being able to dig your way out!!!

Also I believe Potter said in the beginning of this post she had trouble getting around a new town not knowing her way. if she is anything like me i'm afraid to go far from where I am familiar with... Please don't be offended...

[Shadow]

Speaking from personal experience ,
Brooke is right, it may not add up to you but you arwen't the one who suffers from depression. I could write 100 pages of my personal struggles,anyone need to talk about theirs can pm me anytime.

Originally Posted by Brookef18

I wouldn't take this personal. When you are depressed it is hard to force your self to do anything...Even if it's something fun! It's like being in a big black whole and not being able to dig your way out!!!

Also I believe Potter said in the beginning of this post she had trouble getting around a new town not knowing her way. if she is anything like me i'm afraid to go far from where I am familiar with... Please don't be offended...

[doortego]

Please don't be hurt. If you haven't been there, you just can't understand. When you are depressed, you just can't do those things. It takes all of your initiative to climb out of bed. My husband's famous quote is, "Just get over it". If you could get over it, you wouldn't be depressed. And every time someone expects something of you that you can't give, it justs makes it worse.

The things you need to do just aren't within your ability at times. If she doesn't make it to see you as she said she would, don't take it personally, go to see her or have her meet you somewhere midway.

It really just doesn't make any sense to anyone that hasn't been there. You know what you should do, you just can't. Everything in life is too much effort. You are just tired and down and cannot even imagine being happy or enthusiasic.

Originally Posted by Piccolo's mom

Potter,

I am really hurt very badly just now. I had no idea about your depression or feeling lonely here, in Canada, when I first contacted you a few times and invited you to visit me and Piccolo. I even gave you my telephone #, directions to my house and locations of a go-train. I kept saying how much I wanted to meet you and your baby. And it was a few weeks ago. You never came , never called me and now I am reading how sad you are not having any friends to talk to. It really doesn't add up. If somebody offers you her/his frienship and you ignore it - you'll be alone no matter what.
I also told you that I have a beautiful parklike area around my house and we could take our babies there to have lots of fun. And since you take your puppy for a walk everyday, I thought it'll be fun for all of us.

I wish you all the best and try to think about what I wrote.

[Tinker'sMommy]

I hope you feel better

[Potter]

I felt better this morning. I went out to a nearby store bought some healhty food i.e. salmon, vegetables and ate healthy and I did a lot of stuff at home. I did feel good. Its 12.50am here now...I feel I am lapsing again...its like I am on a roller coaster..I could be happy and then go the other way pretty fast..I really hate what I am feeling..I wish it would go away but I know if it will, it has already gone away and I don't have to deal with it until now.I finally emailed my husband and told him what I was dealing with because I am not sure if I could deal with it alone anymore.It will be a few days till he comes home so I am trying to hang on in there.I did not call Piccolo's Mom. I couldn't bring myself to. I am sorry.I will call and our babies can play when I feel better about myself.

[Brookef18]

Potter

Are you home alone for days at a time? What does your husband do for work? If he is away no wonder your depressed!

My Hubby goes away hunting with his brother and some buddies every fall for a week. i know I can get lonely so I try to plan all kinds of things to do when he is gone. i do ok most of the time but at night it can get hard!

One thing I do that makes a huge difference is I pray every morning for God to show me what he has for me that day... I ask him to give me joy and help me see the good in my life. I also ask him for energy and strength and self motivation. To some this may sound lame but I find that God cares about every thing that goes on in our lives and if we give the burden of loneliness and depression to Him he takes care of us...One day about a week ago I was praying for a friend cause I was feeling kind of down and all my friends were working, and as I was praying the phone rang!!! It was a friend wanting to take me to lunch! I was so thankful! it doesn't happen like that every day but it was cool when it did happen. God and will change things in your life.

Do you have any interests or hobbies you can throw yourself into? I tend to clean like crazy to keep busy when no one is home cause I don't like to clean when every one is home. Another thing that studies have found is that Music can effect your mood. If you play up lifting fun happy music it can lift your mood... Or If you play sad lonely music it can bring you right down...
Find a few Christmas crafts on line and start making Christmas presents. That will lift your spirits!

I am praying for you to have a very Joyful purposeful day... God Bless

[Saleswman]

Originally Posted by Potter

I felt better this morning. I went out to a nearby store bought some healhty food i.e. salmon, vegetables and ate healthy and I did a lot of stuff at home. I did feel good. Its 12.50am here now...I feel I am lapsing again...its like I am on a roller coaster..I could be happy and then go the other way pretty fast..I really hate what I am feeling..I wish it would go away but I know if it will, it has already gone away and I don't have to deal with it until now.I finally emailed my husband and told him what I was dealing with because I am not sure if I could deal with it alone anymore.It will be a few days till he comes home so I am trying to hang on in there.I did not call Piccolo's Mom. I couldn't bring myself to. I am sorry.I will call and our babies can play when I feel better about myself.

Please make an appointment with your physician. The sooner you get some assistance, the quicker medications will work. Some drugs take 30-45 days to be effective. And if you have a local church, call about counseling assistance.

Good Luck, hang in there!

[Potter]

Just an update. Lately, I have been sleeping a lot and I mean a lot like 12 hours a day and still constantly feel tired. I have been eating well, controlling what I eat. I try to eat more fish, fruits and veggie. Hubby knows more of what I am dealing with as I told him but I don't think he takes it seriously or he doesn't really understand what is going on on the inside. I try to force myself to go out more. Its difficult because most of the time, I feel like hiding at home and sleeping the day off because I feel tired all the time. The inside still feels more or less the same depending, they come in waves. I also have problems meeting people except for hubby coz he is staying with me and a girlfriend that stays close to me and also posting in the YT forum. Other than that, I don't feel like talking to anyone else. Hubby is not agreeing to meet with counsellor. I will hang in there and hopefully it will get better. Thanks for all the support.

[yorkieusa]

I'm glad you're eating well. That's important, too. I do wonder if the season has affected you. This time of year is hard for a lot of people. Thinking of you and hoping that roller coaster turns into a smooth, even ride soon.

[connie k]

I do know how you feel. I have gone through it many times. It is hard to make good friends. I don't know anyone right now that I could call and say " hey meet me for lunch." We moved here 2 years ago and I have yet to meet a person that I would call my friend. I am a stay at home mom. My kids go to school so for a good part of the day I am alone. I read alot of books. I clean house. I pray. I hate to watch day time t.v. so sometimes instead of lonely I am just bored. Try rearranging a room or painting a room. Sometimes changing things around gives me a new perspective. And yt is great to fill in the gaps.

[connie k]

Hey I forgot to mention. If you are sleeping more that 8 hours a day that will make you feel worse. try to only sleep 8 hours. Also if you don't want to take meds for depression go to a heath store and look for st johns wort or b 12 they will both make you feel better. I hope you are doing better.