[lynnt34]

Originally Posted by Baileys_Momma

I am writing about a very personal thing that has just happened in my life. As many of you know I am pregnant with twins, due in September, and I also have 5 children ranging in ages from 10 - 18 months. Some of you also know that I am a breast cancer survivor and was diagnosed when I was only 19. Last week I went for my check up and the doctor suggested I go in for a mammogram which showed two very large masses in my right breast. Last Thursday (the day we brought Morgan home) I had a needle biopsy of both masses and this morning got the news that I am in a stage 3 of breast cancer again. I am sobbing as I write this to you and am actually telling you all first as my husband is gone all this week in training for work with no cell phone service.

I spoke to my doctor at length this morning as to what my options are and really, there are only two and neither are acceptable to me. There is no doubt that I will have to go through extensive chemo and radiation and that the chances of the babies making it through that are very slim but it has happened. So my options are to either take the chance, and possibly end up with two very unhealthy or disabled children or terminating my pregnancy. I don't know if I can go through having another disabled child. My oldest daughter, Mikayla, is disabled with a very rare disorder and she takes more time than I have in one day. I don't know what I would do if I had two more children that needed me as much as she does. Is that selfish?

I know I am blessed with 5 children already and that the twins were a complete surprise (my husband had a vasotomy some time ago) but me, my husband and kids and my entire family are just so excited.

I then think about what if I don't make it this go round with cancer. That would leave my husband with the kids, alone, and grieving. I have this dilemma, do I do what is best for me and my family by going through the treatment now, risking the lives of my babies, terminate my pregnancy now to avoid the risk of disabled children or wait it out until the babies are born in September, and then have the chemo, but risk that by then the cancer will have spread even more.

I am writing this more to find out, if you were in my shoes what would you do? I know many of you will not want to respond because this is a very sensitive subject but I am leaning on you, my online family, to provide me with whatever information or suggestions you may have.

Please keep us in your prayers as we make this very difficult situation.

Courtney I am so sorry to hear of the ca reoccurance. I am not a survivor but a RN who works with Cancer pts. & Palliative care. I am replying to your question ...What would I do??.....with the heaviest of hearts & my family's support I would probably kiss my angels good bye & let the good lord care for them. This is what I Think I would do!! I do know how the chemo tx. could affect them and you have alot to think about, and huge decision to make. You must know though that the only right decision will be the one you make for yourself & your family, you need to be accepting of your decision...this doesn't mean you can't grieve or cry about it! With the heaviest of hearts I send you a huge...HUG!! I also stand in your corner with support for you.
Terrilyn (lynnt34)