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01-06-2008, 07:59 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| She has finally done it My MIL makes me crazy. I try my best to not allow her to affect me the way she does. I try to ignore her, to brush it off, let it go, and all that good stuff. This time its about the kids. I have a son who is ADHD and mildly autistic. I have been reading (and reading and reading and reading) about how certain chemicals/hormones/dyes/presertives in foods can affect it. So I have decided it would be best for myself and ALL of my children (not just my son) to remove those things from our diet. She acts like I am killing Olivia. (let it be noted here that Olivia is the only one she really cares anything about because she is "blood" where Lauren and Michel are just "step") It isn't fair to make Olivia "suffer" and to "punish" her just because of Michel. I don't see where I'm making her suffer. I am trying to do the best I can as a parent. I want my kids to be healthy. I don't want them filling their bodies with crap. I know the simple thing to do is to just keep Olivia at home, but unfortunately it ISN'T that simple. She will call Mike or my SIL crying and saying I won't let her see the baby, etc. She has called me FIVE times today (and mind you it is only 10:45am). Do I have the kids clothes ironed? What did they eat for breakfast? What is Olivia doing? Make sure I get her back pack washed. I shouldn't use the steam cleaner because I may burn her. I HAVE to answer when she calls otherwise she will drive down here because she only lives 1/2 mile from us. SO - at 10:45 am I did it. I poured myself a glass of coke and I added a shot of some cheap cherry flavored vodka we had left over from a party a while back. My MIL has finally driven me to drink.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-06-2008, 08:11 AM | #2 |
All Dogs Go To Heaven Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: By The Lake
Posts: 2,727
| She really needs to leave you alone. Pour a drink for me. My youngest sister has raised her 2 kids holistically. No artificial anything while they were little. Organic's and natural. Her kids are teens now and they are healthy, smart, outgoing, loving kids. They grew up asking for water and veggies instead of pop and chips. #1-You're the mother #2-You're on the right track...just remember that when she calls......
__________________ Jeanie I am @ the Lake Jackson, Maggie, Sunshine, Bailey, Rocky, Emmie & Jack Last edited by YorkieMom55; 01-06-2008 at 08:15 AM. Reason: I thought of more pearls of wisdom. |
01-06-2008, 08:15 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | That sucks! Sounds like your husband needs to step in and talk to her, not that it will do much good. Try and not let her get to you!!! Hugs
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
01-06-2008, 08:27 AM | #4 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| Quote:
I'm not trying to be mean to her. I'm not trying to keep anyone away from her. I just want to be respected as their mother and free to parent them MY WAY. Lauren was 5 and Michel was 2 when Mike and I met and I managed to raise them just fine all that time without her input.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut | |
01-06-2008, 08:30 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NYC
Posts: 1,859
| I know that its hard but its what you got into when you married him. His mother is not going to change so you will have to learn how to deal with it just know that the changes you are making in your childrens diet is beneficial to them regardless of what anyone says...you are doing a good thing. as far as her showing your other children less love, I dont know how you deal with that because I wouldnt stand for it. remember that children sense things like that and it does affect them. That I would talk to her about asap. If you have to bring your husband into I would do that as well. good luck and Im sorry you are feeling this way.
__________________ Its SummerTime! |
01-06-2008, 08:53 AM | #6 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Chicago
Posts: 944
| WOW! Thats terrible. I hope my MIL never does that to me!! I'll go crazy too!! She seems like the mother from that show "Everybody Loves Raymond" |
01-06-2008, 08:54 AM | #7 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| She wasn't THIS bad in the beginning. She has gotten worse over the years and the last two years she has been REALLY bad. I know all ya'll hear is the negative and me complaining, but I really do try to be sympathetic and understanding. I know she gets bored and lonely and that she is older and forgets things and doesn't understand other things. I just need a little room to breathe sometimes and I do wish she would just lay off when it comes to the kids. It isn't going to do me any good to change their diet at home if she is just going to pump them full of junk (she thinks kids NEED kool-aid and little debbie cakes ).
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut Last edited by Graleyne; 01-06-2008 at 08:56 AM. |
01-06-2008, 09:11 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas
Posts: 5,272
| Bless your heart. Thank goodness my kids are grown but when they were smaller it was MY mother not my MIL. I still get it on a daily basis no matter what I do,it isn't right. She has driven me to drink on occasions but mostly I just take a xanax when I am going to be with her. I still get the calls and emails EVERY day though. You would think that since I am 60 years old and have raised 3 children and 4 grandchildren that she would lay off. OK I won't even get started, but I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
__________________ Decide To Make It A Good Day |
01-06-2008, 10:07 AM | #9 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| Oh In-laws!!!! They can really make life suck sometimes. I get along with mine just for the sake of hubby. I know it stresses him out when we all fight. Right around Thanksgiving my MIL called me and asked me what my son wanted for Christmas. He really doesn't want anything due to his age but he does like things. He LOVES Mickey Mouse and Barney tapes and sing a longs, anything with music. She was like oh okay. I then stated he had a lot of Mickey but not very much Barney. She said I will let you know what I buy so you can tell your mom and she won't get him the same things. I agreed that was a good idea and proceeded to tell her what we got Chase. Well about two weeks before Christmas she calls and we get talking about Christmas, well it was her and hubby I was just hearing it from the background. She likes to brag on all she buys Chase, (mind you she never comes over) and so hubby was interested in all she bought him and said what all did ya get. She replied I got him a TON of movies. Hubby asked which ones. She rattled them off and said there was a few that she couldn't remember because they were wrapped. Ok that's fine. Hubby was trying to think of all she put on that list and asked, did you get any Barney? She stated, "No Barney. Your dad said no Barney. He doesn't like Barney." She made it like MY son didn't need Barney. Well they got my son double of one thing, (after I told her we were buying it for him) and my hubby in a nice tone said well maybe you can take that back and get Barney. My son would honestly get more use out of the Barney sing a long than a pirate ship. I don't think the issue was that they didn't get him Barney, but that they said that stupid rude comment. Why even say anything? I wouldn't of thought a darn thing about no video. They just tend to speak without thinking sometimes. There is my most recent in-law vent. LOL
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
01-06-2008, 10:15 AM | #10 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| Oh mine ALWAYS speaks without thinking. LOL She has absolutely no tact whatsoever.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
01-06-2008, 10:26 AM | #11 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny
Posts: 5,847
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01-06-2008, 11:00 AM | #12 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 197
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I became pregnant with my 3rd and felt that their grandparents had a right to know this child, so we scheduled a time to go over and set some ground rules. MY husband just sat their, didn't speak up for me, so I had to set the boundaries. She finally abided by them. She has not been close to my other children, just my oldest. Has never acknowledged the others on their birthday or Christmas. They are adult now and she is very old. What a sad life she has had. When my oldest married, my MIL travelled 6 hours by car to go to the wedding. When my other daughter married, my MIL didn't show up for the wedding and it was a 45 minute commute. People even offered to pick her up. MY husband, cried at the wedding because of his mothers antics. My daughter was crushed. My daughter has choses to sever all ties with her grandmother. What a sad legacy my MIL leaves. SO my point, don't let things continue as they are. Don't put your children through this. It isn't fair to them. Let your MIL know that you encourage her to have a relationship with all of her grandchildren, but she has to abide by the boundaries your husband and you set. You will find that in the long run you will become closer to her. Sorry for the book. | |
01-06-2008, 11:10 AM | #13 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 1,752
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01-06-2008, 11:32 AM | #14 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 197
| I was always taught to respect my elders, but not at the cost of my children's emotional well being. It is not a fun thing to do to think you might hurt someone's feelings, but, sometimes it cannot be helped. She may get her feelings hurt, but if your husband and you don't stand up to her, it will wear on you emotionally, put a strain on your marriage and possibly even destroy your marriage. You will get to a point, and it sounds like you are close, that you will resent your MIL. Don't let it get to that point. |
01-06-2008, 11:32 AM | #15 |
Tiny Dog Big Heart Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 6,205
| Sorry about your MIL. That has to be hard to handle! As for the diet, I had all three of my kids (#4 wasn't born yet) on the Feingold Diet when they were home even though only one of them needed it. I think we are all better off without all the additives in our foods. I am sure they affect all of us in ways that we don't even realize. Kudos to you for trying to do something good like that for your children. It is hard enough without getting opposition from your MIL.
__________________ Little Bit |
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