Originally Posted by Susanbee51  I had a MIL like this and she didn't like the way I did anything. Because she was so partial to my oldest daughter, she accused me of abusing my daughter, which I did not do, and was able to have my daughter removed from my home. Temporarily of course. She didn't do it with the other kids. We had to go to court and of course, our daughter was released back into our custody. We are talking only a period of a week, but the longest week I had ever lived. I told my husband that if he wanted to see his parents I had no problem with that, BUT, he would never be allowed to take my kids to see them. He had to respect that. She put my daughter through hell, she was only 4. What a horrible thing to do to a child. Oh the abuse, a few bruises on her chins, which my son had as well. Hmmm....I could account for the bruises, especially the one on the side of her face, which was caused when she was twirling around, got dizzy and fell into the console TV at my MIL's home, which she witnessed as well, and I caused the ear infections my daughter had, but not the ones my son had. Kinda makes ya wonder.
I became pregnant with my 3rd and felt that their grandparents had a right to know this child, so we scheduled a time to go over and set some ground rules. MY husband just sat their, didn't speak up for me, so I had to set the boundaries. She finally abided by them. She has not been close to my other children, just my oldest. Has never acknowledged the others on their birthday or Christmas. They are adult now and she is very old. What a sad life she has had.
When my oldest married, my MIL travelled 6 hours by car to go to the wedding. When my other daughter married, my MIL didn't show up for the wedding and it was a 45 minute commute. People even offered to pick her up. MY husband, cried at the wedding because of his mothers antics. My daughter was crushed. My daughter has choses to sever all ties with her grandmother. What a sad legacy my MIL leaves.
SO my point, don't let things continue as they are. Don't put your children through this. It isn't fair to them. Let your MIL know that you encourage her to have a relationship with all of her grandchildren, but she has to abide by the boundaries your husband and you set. You will find that in the long run you will become closer to her. Sorry for the book. |