Could really use some opinions - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

sophiedog · 06-21-2005, 06:05 AM

Oh, honey, I will keep your family in my prayers. I lost my first husband to cancer at the age of 42, it's a very, very hard thing to go through.
My advice? If it were me I would get him the puppy, sounds like he needs new life and hope right now. When a loved one gets sick the heart cries to help them in whatever way possible and when they're gone it's too late. If you can do anything to make his life better - do it. Things will all work out in the end. My husband wouldn't ask for a thing and how I wish I could have given him something to help him out. I'm sure your vet would work something out with you on bills, mine is helping me out and letting me make payments on Lida Rose, and the funny thing about love is, the more you give away the more you seem to have! I do wish you the best, if you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me. I know how stressful things can get sometimes and it can help talking to someone who's not so close to the situation.
Windy and Lida Rose

Ilovebaby · 06-21-2005, 06:11 AM

Villette,
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I can'e even imagine how hard this must be. I have to agree with eroar2 about it being something to always hold on to. I mean I see how many pictures you take of your beautiful Cheri and Chanel, I could only imagine all of the memories you could add to your album with your husband's new puppy. Another way to look at it is, if you can add more happy times to this very hard time in your life, then it will always be worth it in the future. Good luck with whatever you decide because only you know what the "right" decesion is. We will be thinking of you and hoping for happy times in your household.
Mindy and Baby

Also, you mentioned your family thinks your crazy..seriously, don't most family members think other family members are crazy???? Some people just don't understand.

red98vett · 06-21-2005, 06:12 AM

Windy...I am SO SORRY to hear that about your husband...thank you so much for posting. I got chills reading your post and I know how hard that must have been for you...I really am scared every day...and try not to think about myself ....but it's impossible to not think about the future...you have a really good point and I'm really glad I worked up the nerve to post this question....Thanks to everyone who's responded - I'm getting such great feedback I feel I'll be able to make a good decision when I need to.

Windy and Mindy !! love your names back to back ..lol..hmmm...you have a really good point. I'm starting to lean to YES here...

Carters Mom · 06-21-2005, 06:48 AM

Villette:

Just as everyone else, I express my sadness in hearing about your husband's illness and his decline in good health.

I don't know your husband but from what you've said in the original post and replies contained here, he seems like a very caring person.

Perhaps he sees the joy that your girls bring to you and he wants the new pup to increase that joy just a bit more!

I can understand your hesistancy in addition one more to the brood because it isn't just a momentary thing . . . . its a 10 - 15 year commitment.

Follow your heart and use this subject to open the communication into deeper realms with your husband. You'll make the right decision!

As someone who lost their dad as a teenager (19) when he was 45, issues like this tug on my heartstrings. The closer I get to 45, the more I think about this same thing.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby!

Dolce's Mom · 06-21-2005, 07:12 AM

Villette-
I am so sorry to hear about ur husbands illness. It touches very close to my heart because I just lost my 21 year old cousin to cancer in October. The one thing she wanted when she was sick was a puppy...but my aunt and uncle felt that it would be too much work after she was gone. My uncle would do anything for my cousin, but my aunt reminded him what a committment it would be. Whenever they come to my house and see Dolce though, they constantly play with her. I know now, that if they could, they would buy her that puppy now, because they know that it would have made her happy. I don't want to influence ur decision in any way...I just wanted to share my story and tell u that if you listen to your heart, u will get ur answer. My thoughts and prayers are with u and ur husband. I'm sending u a hug...

Brutus'mama · 06-21-2005, 07:52 AM

Villette,

I'm so sorry about your husband. I have to say if it were me I would go for it! This is just me but if a new puppy will make him smile then I would have to do it. You're so great with Cheri and Chanel so I don't think not being able to handle it would be a problem for you!

ps...llike my avatar? Thanks!

red98vett · 06-21-2005, 08:03 AM

Dolces mom ..that was VERY sad and touching...thank you for that - And Brutus's mom - lol..Thank you - I really WANT to say that in my head...I guess I think too much but you all are making so much sense and shared some really great posts....Thank you to everyone who posted !!!

Brutus's mom...yes...I love your avatar - you did a GREAT job resizing it and it's very unique ...I love the colors in that frame an of course the cutie it's framing !

Olivier · 06-21-2005, 08:47 AM

Hi Villette ,
I am so sorry to hear about your husband . I know exactly what you are going through . Actually , I am taking care of my brother who have had a heart surgery . I am with you and I'll pray for you and your husband . I know it is always difficult to have a discussion with a person who is very ill .

cacbeary · 06-21-2005, 09:15 AM

Villette,

I too am sorry to hear of your husband's illness. Your husband is very fortunate to have a loving wife to comfort and take care of him.

It sounds to me like your husband has his heart set on a puppy. It don't seem to be a passing phase if it's been 3 months. Bless his heart.

My 2 cents worth: You need to sit down & talk with your husband about your second thoughts about the puppy. Even mentioning your fear of taking care of the dog when he is gone. Regardless if you decide to get a pup or not, you need to be open about your feelings toward one another, your hopes, your dreams, your fears.

The truth will always set you free. I am sure just talking about your concerns will feel like a weight lifted off of you and he may open up as to why he wants a puppy.

If I seem too forward, please forgive me. I don't mean it to come across this way. I just wish there was a way to comfort you.

I'll be praying for you & your family.

Carol

011011 · 06-21-2005, 09:18 AM

I am so sorry to hear of your husband, I just lost my father a few months ago to CHF, he cherished every minute till the end, wish I lived close to him as he was 8 hrs away.
You need to do what you feel you can handle, if it is another puppy go for it they do cost money and all but what would we do without them and all the joy and love they bring us, and as you said it is only money, a time of happiness and memories made is worth more than a handful of money. again I am sorry to hear of your hubby and best wishes and my prayers are with you and your family.
tammy
P.S a new puppy might be just what the doctor orderd may help both of you through this time.

Annadoodle · 06-21-2005, 09:28 AM

Villette,
I was so saddened to read your posting about your husband. As I sit here and hold my new Little Sophie...I can whole-heartedly see the joy that a new baby puppy will bring. There just isn't anything like it...
Life is so short. It really is- I'm afraid if you don't get the puppy...you will be regretting it always...truly...
And..in getting that puppy...she will remind you of your wonderful husband each time you look at her...you will know in your heart that the new puppy made him so happy...and was meant to be in your life.
I believe things happen for a reason. My husband just returned from Iraq in January. In that length of time he was gone..he lost his Dad, his grandma, my grandma, and 12 soldiers...We live our lives a bit different now..take nothing for granted.
We are all on this earth for a given time...it important to embrace life as much as we can. A new puppy is that...New Wonderful Life. In reading the posts others have given...they have been so supportive.
Yes..its alot of work...
Yes..some expense involved..
But the regrets later will be with you...truly...
The searching for the puppy and planning is an event in itself...enjoy each step of your new journey...have your husband be pro-active much so-
We here at Yorkie Talk are here for you....and we love you.
hugs from a distance, Melissa & "Baby Sophie"

hockeymom · 06-21-2005, 09:36 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. When someone you love is ill, everything is so overwhelming at times. My mom was only 57 when she passed away, and my dad was only 60. I have lost both of my parents to cancer, and while they were sick we had long talks about everything. At times it was hard to talk to them and some times it was hard to listen to what they had to say, I will tell you to make every day count. I can remember my dad and mom would always want to talk about new things, about things that would be happening in the future, about what our plans were for the future, and what their dreams were for all of us. Any distraction was welcomed. They did not want to spend their time left feeling sick. They wanted to make as many new memories as they could. I look back on that time with them …………I’m not sure if I can put it into words, except to say that it was wonderful, beautiful, and the most rewarding time of my life.

Maybe that is what your husband is doing when he asks for a new puppy. It is something new, something totally alive, and at the beginning of life. He can think about it growing up and the life it will have with you. He might want to not think about himself for a little while. Puppies are so full of life and give so much love, maybe he needs that now.

My only advise would be "make as many memories as you can".

eensor · 06-21-2005, 10:01 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your husband's illness. You are a brave woman and I have a lot of admiration for you! I don't have any advice on another puppy, just wanted to tell you we're all here for you! Elizabeth

Meg · 06-21-2005, 10:03 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. My heart goes out to you and your family.

I kind of think that maybe you should get the puppy. I remember a quote from when I was younger that my friends grandmother said around the time her husband was suffering from cancer. She said...

"Money comes, money goes, and there are countless ways to spend it. But the memories you make and the people (animals

) you share it with lasts forever and is what makes life worth living."

I know that it is a big comitment, but may mean so much to your husband. And may bring him a little more happiness he probably needs to help him get through this scary time of life.

I am sure you will make the best choice for you and your family. And who knows maybe Cheri and Chanel will help you train and take care of him.

Also, before my grandpa died he became very very close with the baby grandson in the family. He loved being around him, it gave him so much joy. And we have so many wonderful memories of grandpa and Cody being so in love with each other before he passed. I think there is something about "new life" when you feel like yours is slipping away.

Let us know what you decide. And BIG HUGS to YOU! I am sure you need them!!

feminvstr · 06-21-2005, 10:29 AM

Villette,

I am so sad to hear about your husband, seems to me he want a puppy to make him smile and laugh everyday. As I am sure every day gets tougher and tougher for the both of you...A new puppy might just ease his pain!

Smiles and yorkie kisses seem to warm the heart and touch our souls everyday!

06-21-2005, 06:11 AM	#17
Ilovebaby I love my Monster! Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Elkhart, IN Posts: 1,137	Villette, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I can'e even imagine how hard this must be. I have to agree with eroar2 about it being something to always hold on to. I mean I see how many pictures you take of your beautiful Cheri and Chanel, I could only imagine all of the memories you could add to your album with your husband's new puppy. Another way to look at it is, if you can add more happy times to this very hard time in your life, then it will always be worth it in the future. Good luck with whatever you decide because only you know what the "right" decesion is. We will be thinking of you and hoping for happy times in your household. Mindy and Baby Also, you mentioned your family thinks your crazy..seriously, don't most family members think other family members are crazy???? Some people just don't understand. __________________ Mindy & Baby Baby's Dogster Page ****** Baby pics and Videos & More Baby pics

06-21-2005, 06:12 AM	#18
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	Windy...I am SO SORRY to hear that about your husband...thank you so much for posting. I got chills reading your post and I know how hard that must have been for you...I really am scared every day...and try not to think about myself ....but it's impossible to not think about the future...you have a really good point and I'm really glad I worked up the nerve to post this question....Thanks to everyone who's responded - I'm getting such great feedback I feel I'll be able to make a good decision when I need to. Windy and Mindy !! love your names back to back ..lol..hmmm...you have a really good point. I'm starting to lean to YES here... __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE! Last edited by red98vett; 06-21-2005 at 06:18 AM.

06-21-2005, 06:48 AM	#19
Carters Mom YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: LA Posts: 1,568	Villette: Just as everyone else, I express my sadness in hearing about your husband's illness and his decline in good health. I don't know your husband but from what you've said in the original post and replies contained here, he seems like a very caring person. Perhaps he sees the joy that your girls bring to you and he wants the new pup to increase that joy just a bit more! I can understand your hesistancy in addition one more to the brood because it isn't just a momentary thing . . . . its a 10 - 15 year commitment. Follow your heart and use this subject to open the communication into deeper realms with your husband. You'll make the right decision! As someone who lost their dad as a teenager (19) when he was 45, issues like this tug on my heartstrings. The closer I get to 45, the more I think about this same thing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby! __________________ Lisa Proud Marine Mom Carter, Cooper & Crissy's Mom and Sebastian's Nana Never underestimate the warmth of a cold nose!

06-21-2005, 07:12 AM	#20
Dolce's Mom YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Long Island, New York Posts: 307	Villette- I am so sorry to hear about ur husbands illness. It touches very close to my heart because I just lost my 21 year old cousin to cancer in October. The one thing she wanted when she was sick was a puppy...but my aunt and uncle felt that it would be too much work after she was gone. My uncle would do anything for my cousin, but my aunt reminded him what a committment it would be. Whenever they come to my house and see Dolce though, they constantly play with her. I know now, that if they could, they would buy her that puppy now, because they know that it would have made her happy. I don't want to influence ur decision in any way...I just wanted to share my story and tell u that if you listen to your heart, u will get ur answer. My thoughts and prayers are with u and ur husband. I'm sending u a hug... __________________ ~Melissa and Dolce~

06-21-2005, 07:52 AM	#21
Brutus'mama YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NJ Posts: 1,767	Villette, I'm so sorry about your husband. I have to say if it were me I would go for it! This is just me but if a new puppy will make him smile then I would have to do it. You're so great with Cheri and Chanel so I don't think not being able to handle it would be a problem for you! ps...llike my avatar? Thanks! __________________ ~Carolyn~ Brutus' Video Montage

06-21-2005, 06:05 AM	#16
sophiedog YT Addict Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kentucky Posts: 496	Oh, honey, I will keep your family in my prayers. I lost my first husband to cancer at the age of 42, it's a very, very hard thing to go through. My advice? If it were me I would get him the puppy, sounds like he needs new life and hope right now. When a loved one gets sick the heart cries to help them in whatever way possible and when they're gone it's too late. If you can do anything to make his life better - do it. Things will all work out in the end. My husband wouldn't ask for a thing and how I wish I could have given him something to help him out. I'm sure your vet would work something out with you on bills, mine is helping me out and letting me make payments on Lida Rose, and the funny thing about love is, the more you give away the more you seem to have! I do wish you the best, if you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me. I know how stressful things can get sometimes and it can help talking to someone who's not so close to the situation. Windy and Lida Rose

06-21-2005, 08:03 AM	#22
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	Dolces mom ..that was VERY sad and touching...thank you for that - And Brutus's mom - lol..Thank you - I really WANT to say that in my head...I guess I think too much but you all are making so much sense and shared some really great posts....Thank you to everyone who posted !!! Brutus's mom...yes...I love your avatar - you did a GREAT job resizing it and it's very unique ...I love the colors in that frame an of course the cutie it's framing ! __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

06-21-2005, 08:47 AM	#23
Olivier Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 2,999	Hi Villette , I am so sorry to hear about your husband . I know exactly what you are going through . Actually , I am taking care of my brother who have had a heart surgery . I am with you and I'll pray for you and your husband . I know it is always difficult to have a discussion with a person who is very ill .

06-21-2005, 09:15 AM	#24
cacbeary Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 203	Villette, I too am sorry to hear of your husband's illness. Your husband is very fortunate to have a loving wife to comfort and take care of him. It sounds to me like your husband has his heart set on a puppy. It don't seem to be a passing phase if it's been 3 months. Bless his heart. My 2 cents worth: You need to sit down & talk with your husband about your second thoughts about the puppy. Even mentioning your fear of taking care of the dog when he is gone. Regardless if you decide to get a pup or not, you need to be open about your feelings toward one another, your hopes, your dreams, your fears. The truth will always set you free. I am sure just talking about your concerns will feel like a weight lifted off of you and he may open up as to why he wants a puppy. If I seem too forward, please forgive me. I don't mean it to come across this way. I just wish there was a way to comfort you. I'll be praying for you & your family. Carol

06-21-2005, 09:18 AM	#25
011011 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: minnesota Posts: 1,432	I am so sorry to hear of your husband, I just lost my father a few months ago to CHF, he cherished every minute till the end, wish I lived close to him as he was 8 hrs away. You need to do what you feel you can handle, if it is another puppy go for it they do cost money and all but what would we do without them and all the joy and love they bring us, and as you said it is only money, a time of happiness and memories made is worth more than a handful of money. again I am sorry to hear of your hubby and best wishes and my prayers are with you and your family. tammy P.S a new puppy might be just what the doctor orderd may help both of you through this time. Last edited by 011011; 06-21-2005 at 09:22 AM.

06-21-2005, 09:28 AM	#26
Annadoodle A Yorkie Touched My Heart Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: "soon to be" MO Posts: 1,550	Villette, I was so saddened to read your posting about your husband. As I sit here and hold my new Little Sophie...I can whole-heartedly see the joy that a new baby puppy will bring. There just isn't anything like it... Life is so short. It really is- I'm afraid if you don't get the puppy...you will be regretting it always...truly... And..in getting that puppy...she will remind you of your wonderful husband each time you look at her...you will know in your heart that the new puppy made him so happy...and was meant to be in your life. I believe things happen for a reason. My husband just returned from Iraq in January. In that length of time he was gone..he lost his Dad, his grandma, my grandma, and 12 soldiers...We live our lives a bit different now..take nothing for granted. We are all on this earth for a given time...it important to embrace life as much as we can. A new puppy is that...New Wonderful Life. In reading the posts others have given...they have been so supportive. Yes..its alot of work... Yes..some expense involved.. But the regrets later will be with you...truly... The searching for the puppy and planning is an event in itself...enjoy each step of your new journey...have your husband be pro-active much so- We here at Yorkie Talk are here for you....and we love you. hugs from a distance, Melissa & "Baby Sophie"

06-21-2005, 09:36 AM	#27
hockeymom YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Dallas, Texas Posts: 418	life I am so sorry to hear about your husband. When someone you love is ill, everything is so overwhelming at times. My mom was only 57 when she passed away, and my dad was only 60. I have lost both of my parents to cancer, and while they were sick we had long talks about everything. At times it was hard to talk to them and some times it was hard to listen to what they had to say, I will tell you to make every day count. I can remember my dad and mom would always want to talk about new things, about things that would be happening in the future, about what our plans were for the future, and what their dreams were for all of us. Any distraction was welcomed. They did not want to spend their time left feeling sick. They wanted to make as many new memories as they could. I look back on that time with them …………I’m not sure if I can put it into words, except to say that it was wonderful, beautiful, and the most rewarding time of my life. Maybe that is what your husband is doing when he asks for a new puppy. It is something new, something totally alive, and at the beginning of life. He can think about it growing up and the life it will have with you. He might want to not think about himself for a little while. Puppies are so full of life and give so much love, maybe he needs that now. My only advise would be "make as many memories as you can". __________________ Deb Scooter,Cheyenne, and Dakota

06-21-2005, 10:01 AM	#28
eensor YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Effingham, Illinois Posts: 2,535	I am so sorry to hear about your husband's illness. You are a brave woman and I have a lot of admiration for you! I don't have any advice on another puppy, just wanted to tell you we're all here for you! Elizabeth __________________ I'd rather be in Mexico!

06-21-2005, 10:03 AM	#29
Meg YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 671	I am so sorry to hear about your husband. My heart goes out to you and your family. I kind of think that maybe you should get the puppy. I remember a quote from when I was younger that my friends grandmother said around the time her husband was suffering from cancer. She said... "Money comes, money goes, and there are countless ways to spend it. But the memories you make and the people (animals ) you share it with lasts forever and is what makes life worth living." I know that it is a big comitment, but may mean so much to your husband. And may bring him a little more happiness he probably needs to help him get through this scary time of life. I am sure you will make the best choice for you and your family. And who knows maybe Cheri and Chanel will help you train and take care of him. Also, before my grandpa died he became very very close with the baby grandson in the family. He loved being around him, it gave him so much joy. And we have so many wonderful memories of grandpa and Cody being so in love with each other before he passed. I think there is something about "new life" when you feel like yours is slipping away. Let us know what you decide. And BIG HUGS to YOU! I am sure you need them!! __________________ Meg & Keeley I love my little Yorkie boy! www.dogster.com/?169319

06-21-2005, 10:29 AM	#30
feminvstr Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Portland Oregon Posts: 4,405	Villette, I am so sad to hear about your husband, seems to me he want a puppy to make him smile and laugh everyday. As I am sure every day gets tougher and tougher for the both of you...A new puppy might just ease his pain! Smiles and yorkie kisses seem to warm the heart and touch our souls everyday! __________________ Kimberly