Could really use some opinions - YorkieTalk.com Forums

red98vett · 06-21-2005, 04:24 AM

Hi...This post is NOT meant to depress anyone 0r for sympathy...I need to look at all sides of this picture....My family thinks I'm nuts for even considering this but here it is. My husband wants another yorkie. We have 2 and he keeps saying let's get another puppy.

My dilema is he has a terminal illness. and lately isn't doing very well. I keep hoping he will take a turn for the better but it just isn't happening.

I don't know how long he will be able to go on like this as I've seen a drastic change this year. It's very sad and depressing for both of us but mostly him. The girls are the only reason he seems to smile lately.

He wants another puppy and keeps bringing it up to me - and I brush it off as we already have 2 girls and the medical bills are killing us. (we have NO insurance)

What do I do here ? Do I give in and try to get another yorkie in the next few months or should I stay stick with my feeling having 3 yorkies is going to be too much for me down the road ?

I can easily handle having my 2 girls - but to me ...adding another may be a handful... I really don't know what to say anymore cause he seems to REALLY want one and if I knew my time was limited I'd want to make the best of it. I feel so sad thinking this way... but I HAVE to consider the long term pros & cons of having 3 yorkies...much as I want another one too.

Any suggestions would be appreciated here - sometimes I read something I didn't think of and that's what I'm looking for here - If I can say "OH wow - I didn't think of that " ... I'd be able to ease my mind and have a good answer for him without bringing up the fact that he's on borrowed time.

He's only 56 and I'm 46 so it's not like he's old...he's just sick and I don't know what to say to him about this. I kind of keep blowing him off when he brings it up and lately he's REALLY pushing another yorkie.

Thanks for any ideas for either scenario......

JUDY's2yorkies · 06-21-2005, 04:40 AM

My opinion is that maybe its too much for you now or later,but his feelings are also on the front burner,perhaps he is looking for the new puppy as a way to look to the future, not knowing what is really going on with him, sometimes we need to look at only today and not the future,babies even if they are puppies are a way to think of a future,money is a option to think about for sure, but you know you have room in your heart for one more, we always do..maybe there is a reason he needs another puppy,have you talked to him to see what his motive is..that might be the best answer of all,good luck on making the right choice

rrosenberry · 06-21-2005, 04:42 AM

Wow.... sorry for your husband, I hope things work out.. But I can understand your dilemma... Hmmmm.... ( thinking).... I know what your sayin.. though about gettin a pup,, alot of work, and it sounds like you already have your hands full! But I also understand him wanting a pup,, nothing cuter or better than a pup... Hmmmm,,,
I dont think you should get one,, they are soo much work, and the money situation alone,, maybe, just tell him you dont have the " desire " to invest all the time and attention right now,, because you want to make sure he is well taken care of"
Maybe, find someone with a puppy to bring them by to visit often,,,

Sorry, dont know if I have helped much,,but wanted to respond.. I hope things work out for the best, no matter what!~~

red98vett · 06-21-2005, 04:44 AM

You know - I haven't really ASKED him upfront why he's pushing so hard - this had been a topic with us for about 3 months now....and you made a good point. Yes I WANT another - but can I handle another ?

I will ask him just why it seems so important all of a sudden - the other day he wanted me to start looking and I just keep flip flopping back and forth on my feelings...My family thinks having 2 yorkies... a cocker... and getting ANOTHER yorkie is just crazy.

red98vett · 06-21-2005, 04:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rrosenberry

Wow.... sorry for your husband, I hope things work out.. But I can understand your dilemma... Hmmmm.... ( thinking).... I know what your sayin.. though about gettin a pup,, alot of work, and it sounds like you already have your hands full! But I also understand him wanting a pup,, nothing cuter or better than a pup... Hmmmm,,,
I dont think you should get one,, they are soo much work, and the money situation alone,, maybe, just tell him you dont have the " desire " to invest all the time and attention right now,, because you want to make sure he is well taken care of"
Maybe, find someone with a puppy to bring them by to visit often,,,

Sorry, dont know if I have helped much,,but wanted to respond.. I hope things work out for the best, no matter what!~~

I definitely have the time and I LOVE the work involved...so...yes, I have the desire - I wonder can I handle 3 as well as I handle 2 ?

....Money is a big issue but hey - it's only money right ? I just have this ongoing conversation in my head - yes I'd love one....but am I going to be ok with 3 ? MY girls are spoiled and keep me pretty busy - am I going to have time for a puppy AND him if things change ....

Edited to add THANK YOU to both of you !! you've already given me a new way to look at this which is EXACTLY what I was looking for...

Trevor's Mom · 06-21-2005, 04:55 AM

Villette, I really don't have an answer. We have 3 dogs, not all yorkies, and the middle one really doesn't get the attention she deserves. The old lady is my husband's baby, and of course, Trevor is mine, but the other one I think is really starved for attention. I'm not saying we ignore her, because she won't let you, but I think it's kinda like having 3 kids.... the middle child is always "last", if you know what I mean.

I know you'll make the right decision......

Cyndie
Trevor's Mom

Joy · 06-21-2005, 05:04 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your husband.. My heart goes out to you and your family.. I know I'm not going to be much help in this area since I have not gone through anything remotely close to this..
I know our little furbabies can be alot of work and especially adding a pup to the mix.
We have three Yorkies, one cat and one big dog a siberian husky..
The third Yorkie we got was a year old and "Such" a little love!! Perhaps thinking of an older one or a rescue would help.. It might be a good compromise for both of you..
The little guy we got spent the first year of his life in a kennel and when we brought him home it was so sad... but this little guy craves attention and is by the person who wants to give him the most love at the moment..
I know I probubly havent helped a single bit here.. but I sincerely hope all works out for the best for both you and your husband..
Also.. I just want you to know that you will be in my prayers.

eroar2 · 06-21-2005, 05:16 AM

Hi Villette-

I guess I don't have an answer for you either way, but some things for you to think about... One would be this is one of his final wishes... Maybe honor it. There are so many joys out of life. Life if short. Shorter for some... Enjoy the time that you have... But I guess on the other hand for your case with him being sick puppies are a lot of work. Plus Chanel and Cheri require a lot of attention as well. Add that with the attention you will need to be giving to your husband. Like you said maybe right now you want to spend your final time with him then training a puppy. Money is money. Puppies cost money but compared to your medical bills I'm sure it can't compare

Anyways... I'm sure this didn't help... But some things to think about...

Sorry had to edit this... If you did get the third puppy... and your husband did pass on... The puppy could be "his" puppy. Your forever reminder of him Not that you will ever need that. But something... If you know what I mean!

Debr · 06-21-2005, 05:20 AM

I am sorry to hear of your husbands illness.

If I were in your shoes I would be tore apart trying to decide what to do. Part of me would want to give him everything as he may not improve, yet part of me would be worried about the future. I would talk with him heart to heart and see why he wants another.

Mya's_Mom · 06-21-2005, 05:26 AM

I am sorry to hear about the situation that your husband and family are in.
What a difficult time for all. I would suggest that you have someone with a puppy visit him. There must be people out there with puppies that could take time out to pay a visit and spend a little time with your husband. Sometimes when in pain and depressed a puppy is the perfect little perk if only to take your mind off your problems for a moment. I think that is what your husband is looking for. I bet if you wrote a letter to the editor of your local newspaper you would have people and puppies lined up outside his door.

iheartyorkies · 06-21-2005, 05:38 AM

Villette, I have known about your husband's illness because you have mentioned it in other posts. My heart goes out to you. I know you have your hands full. I'm sure your husband loves Cheri and Chanel, but is it possible that he considers them "your" dogs, like you have a special bond with them. Maybe he'd like to have a puppy that he could think of as his little buddy. Just a thought. I wish I could help. I'll be praying for you all.

red98vett · 06-21-2005, 05:41 AM

Thank you for your help ! I AM going to have a good talk and see what exactly is the reason he keeps pushing this -

I do everything myself for the girls but he really loves them - I have enough in my heart to give attention to TEN yorkies but my problem is thinking too much of long term....

Then I look at Chanel and Cheri and wonder what would happen if we had to move or I had to return to work full time again....it's like a big ongoing conversation in my head and I can't say to him - What if you're not around ? So I tip toe around the issue when he brings it up -

It seems like he's hears me laughing or saying someone got the CUTEST puppy and he locks onto that and wants me to start looking for a puppy....money is my only aurguement at this point - but I hate to use his illness as my only reason for not getting a puppy cause that's like saying he isn't going to live long. This IS hard.

kp&nala · 06-21-2005, 05:51 AM

First of all I'm sorry about your husband. I kinda have a split decision: I think it might make an impact on your husbands illness if yall got another puppy and if not an impact atleast the happiness of puppy kisses. It seems like he really wants one but I do understand what your saying about having no insurance and it could be harder for you down the road. Maybe some of the breeders on here that you've gotten to know could help you out on a price of the puppy like letting you pay so much a month or work out some other arrangement. I guess I'm not really much help.

red98vett · 06-21-2005, 06:01 AM

It was so funny - I sat down a few minutes ago to talk to him and the girls were eavesdropping as usual - they started going CRAZY playing - I grabbed the camera...just pointed and shot and got this http://jusspress.com/red98vett

He asked me after I took the video how could I NOT want another puppy - lol...I still need to sit down and talk seriously to him about this ...but man - these 2 girls just totally melt me...They are just always so HAPPY it leans me in the direction of another seeing stuff like this video has...

rrosenberry · 06-21-2005, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red98vett

It was so funny - I sat down a few minutes ago to talk to him and the girls were eavesdropping as usual - they started going CRAZY playing - I grabbed the camera...just pointed and shot and got this http://jusspress.com/red98vett

He asked me after I took the video how could I NOT want another puppy - lol...I still need to sit down and talk seriously to him about this ...but man - these 2 girls just totally melt me...They are just always so HAPPY it leans me in the direction of another seeing stuff like this video has...

Sounds like someone is making up her mind.......

06-21-2005, 04:24 AM	#1
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	Could really use some opinions Hi...This post is NOT meant to depress anyone 0r for sympathy...I need to look at all sides of this picture....My family thinks I'm nuts for even considering this but here it is. My husband wants another yorkie. We have 2 and he keeps saying let's get another puppy. My dilema is he has a terminal illness. and lately isn't doing very well. I keep hoping he will take a turn for the better but it just isn't happening. I don't know how long he will be able to go on like this as I've seen a drastic change this year. It's very sad and depressing for both of us but mostly him. The girls are the only reason he seems to smile lately. He wants another puppy and keeps bringing it up to me - and I brush it off as we already have 2 girls and the medical bills are killing us. (we have NO insurance) What do I do here ? Do I give in and try to get another yorkie in the next few months or should I stay stick with my feeling having 3 yorkies is going to be too much for me down the road ? I can easily handle having my 2 girls - but to me ...adding another may be a handful... I really don't know what to say anymore cause he seems to REALLY want one and if I knew my time was limited I'd want to make the best of it. I feel so sad thinking this way... but I HAVE to consider the long term pros & cons of having 3 yorkies...much as I want another one too. Any suggestions would be appreciated here - sometimes I read something I didn't think of and that's what I'm looking for here - If I can say "OH wow - I didn't think of that " ... I'd be able to ease my mind and have a good answer for him without bringing up the fact that he's on borrowed time. He's only 56 and I'm 46 so it's not like he's old...he's just sick and I don't know what to say to him about this. I kind of keep blowing him off when he brings it up and lately he's REALLY pushing another yorkie. Thanks for any ideas for either scenario...... __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

06-21-2005, 04:42 AM	#3
rrosenberry & Bailey & Bella Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 8,164	Wow.... sorry for your husband, I hope things work out.. But I can understand your dilemma... Hmmmm.... ( thinking).... I know what your sayin.. though about gettin a pup,, alot of work, and it sounds like you already have your hands full! But I also understand him wanting a pup,, nothing cuter or better than a pup... Hmmmm,,, I dont think you should get one,, they are soo much work, and the money situation alone,, maybe, just tell him you dont have the " desire " to invest all the time and attention right now,, because you want to make sure he is well taken care of" Maybe, find someone with a puppy to bring them by to visit often,,, Sorry, dont know if I have helped much,,but wanted to respond.. I hope things work out for the best, no matter what!~~ __________________ Rhonda, Bailey, Josie and my angel Bella Rue' "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~Anatole France~ Last edited by rrosenberry; 06-21-2005 at 04:44 AM.

06-21-2005, 04:44 AM	#4
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	You know - I haven't really ASKED him upfront why he's pushing so hard - this had been a topic with us for about 3 months now....and you made a good point. Yes I WANT another - but can I handle another ? I will ask him just why it seems so important all of a sudden - the other day he wanted me to start looking and I just keep flip flopping back and forth on my feelings...My family thinks having 2 yorkies... a cocker... and getting ANOTHER yorkie is just crazy. __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

06-21-2005, 05:16 AM	#8
eroar2 Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 446	Hi Villette- I guess I don't have an answer for you either way, but some things for you to think about... One would be this is one of his final wishes... Maybe honor it. There are so many joys out of life. Life if short. Shorter for some... Enjoy the time that you have... But I guess on the other hand for your case with him being sick puppies are a lot of work. Plus Chanel and Cheri require a lot of attention as well. Add that with the attention you will need to be giving to your husband. Like you said maybe right now you want to spend your final time with him then training a puppy. Money is money. Puppies cost money but compared to your medical bills I'm sure it can't compare Anyways... I'm sure this didn't help... But some things to think about... Sorry had to edit this... If you did get the third puppy... and your husband did pass on... The puppy could be "his" puppy. Your forever reminder of him Not that you will ever need that. But something... If you know what I mean! Last edited by eroar2; 06-21-2005 at 05:20 AM.

06-21-2005, 05:20 AM	#9
Debr Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 86	I am sorry to hear of your husbands illness. If I were in your shoes I would be tore apart trying to decide what to do. Part of me would want to give him everything as he may not improve, yet part of me would be worried about the future. I would talk with him heart to heart and see why he wants another. __________________ Debbie's Ark Dixie Zoie,Angel,Joker & Zak Feline friends: Chachi & Sammy

06-21-2005, 04:40 AM	#2
JUDY's2yorkies YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Logan Utah Posts: 280	My opinion is that maybe its too much for you now or later,but his feelings are also on the front burner,perhaps he is looking for the new puppy as a way to look to the future, not knowing what is really going on with him, sometimes we need to look at only today and not the future,babies even if they are puppies are a way to think of a future,money is a option to think about for sure, but you know you have room in your heart for one more, we always do..maybe there is a reason he needs another puppy,have you talked to him to see what his motive is..that might be the best answer of all,good luck on making the right choice

06-21-2005, 04:55 AM	#6
Trevor's Mom Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Texas Gulf Coast Posts: 96	Villette, I really don't have an answer. We have 3 dogs, not all yorkies, and the middle one really doesn't get the attention she deserves. The old lady is my husband's baby, and of course, Trevor is mine, but the other one I think is really starved for attention. I'm not saying we ignore her, because she won't let you, but I think it's kinda like having 3 kids.... the middle child is always "last", if you know what I mean. I know you'll make the right decision...... Cyndie Trevor's Mom

06-21-2005, 05:04 AM	#7
Joy BANNED! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Maine Posts: 2,094	I am so sorry to hear about your husband.. My heart goes out to you and your family.. I know I'm not going to be much help in this area since I have not gone through anything remotely close to this.. I know our little furbabies can be alot of work and especially adding a pup to the mix. We have three Yorkies, one cat and one big dog a siberian husky.. The third Yorkie we got was a year old and "Such" a little love!! Perhaps thinking of an older one or a rescue would help.. It might be a good compromise for both of you.. The little guy we got spent the first year of his life in a kennel and when we brought him home it was so sad... but this little guy craves attention and is by the person who wants to give him the most love at the moment.. I know I probubly havent helped a single bit here.. but I sincerely hope all works out for the best for both you and your husband.. Also.. I just want you to know that you will be in my prayers.

06-21-2005, 05:26 AM	#10
Mya's_Mom YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Brampton, Ontario, Canada Posts: 689	I am sorry to hear about the situation that your husband and family are in. What a difficult time for all. I would suggest that you have someone with a puppy visit him. There must be people out there with puppies that could take time out to pay a visit and spend a little time with your husband. Sometimes when in pain and depressed a puppy is the perfect little perk if only to take your mind off your problems for a moment. I think that is what your husband is looking for. I bet if you wrote a letter to the editor of your local newspaper you would have people and puppies lined up outside his door. __________________ Regards,Cyn Driving the grammatically correct insane, one posting at a time

06-21-2005, 05:38 AM	#11
iheartyorkies Boppin' Bo! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Indiana Posts: 2,719	Villette, I have known about your husband's illness because you have mentioned it in other posts. My heart goes out to you. I know you have your hands full. I'm sure your husband loves Cheri and Chanel, but is it possible that he considers them "your" dogs, like you have a special bond with them. Maybe he'd like to have a puppy that he could think of as his little buddy. Just a thought. I wish I could help. I'll be praying for you all. __________________ ~~~ i yorkies ~~~ Cynthia Turbo and Suri!

06-21-2005, 05:41 AM	#12
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	Thank you for your help ! I AM going to have a good talk and see what exactly is the reason he keeps pushing this - I do everything myself for the girls but he really loves them - I have enough in my heart to give attention to TEN yorkies but my problem is thinking too much of long term.... Then I look at Chanel and Cheri and wonder what would happen if we had to move or I had to return to work full time again....it's like a big ongoing conversation in my head and I can't say to him - What if you're not around ? So I tip toe around the issue when he brings it up - It seems like he's hears me laughing or saying someone got the CUTEST puppy and he locks onto that and wants me to start looking for a puppy....money is my only aurguement at this point - but I hate to use his illness as my only reason for not getting a puppy cause that's like saying he isn't going to live long. This IS hard. __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

06-21-2005, 05:51 AM	#13
kp&nala Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Arkansas Posts: 972	First of all I'm sorry about your husband. I kinda have a split decision: I think it might make an impact on your husbands illness if yall got another puppy and if not an impact atleast the happiness of puppy kisses. It seems like he really wants one but I do understand what your saying about having no insurance and it could be harder for you down the road. Maybe some of the breeders on here that you've gotten to know could help you out on a price of the puppy like letting you pay so much a month or work out some other arrangement. I guess I'm not really much help.

06-21-2005, 06:01 AM	#14
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	It was so funny - I sat down a few minutes ago to talk to him and the girls were eavesdropping as usual - they started going CRAZY playing - I grabbed the camera...just pointed and shot and got this http://jusspress.com/red98vett He asked me after I took the video how could I NOT want another puppy - lol...I still need to sit down and talk seriously to him about this ...but man - these 2 girls just totally melt me...They are just always so HAPPY it leans me in the direction of another seeing stuff like this video has... __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!