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02-14-2007, 08:27 PM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ohio
Posts: 80
| Should I feel this way already?! I posted yesterday that my 9yr. old Toby passed away. I am doing better. Only cried once today. Cried myself out yesterday I think. All I can think about today is getting a new puppy. I'm sure I am thinking that it will help fill the void but I am wondering if I should be feeling this way already. I won't be getting a new puppy until the summer time when I don't have to work or atleast that is the plan. I know everyone copes in their own way but I guess I am wondering if this is somewhat normal. Also, I am worried that my family will want to get a different breed of dog but I can't imagine not having a yorkie. I think once you have one you don't want anything else. Has anyone else had the same feelings that I seem to be having? Thank you in advance for all your help! You have all been wonderful!! |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-14-2007, 08:42 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| Everyone grieves in different ways. The way you feel is the way you feel, it is neither right or wrong, it is just your brain talking to your heart. For me, after I lost my dear little Laciebug, it was almost 10 years before I was ready to let another Yorkie into my life. In the meantime we became proud parents to the most wonderful Boxer that ever walked the face of the earth. I now have a house full of young yorkies now and an elderly boxer. Sending hugs.... I am so glad that you found this site and were able to allow us the opportunity to share your grief |
02-14-2007, 08:44 PM | #3 |
Inactive Account Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 4,387
| There is no such thing as a "Normal way to Grieve" everyone is different and what is right for you is not right for another. Only you can know what you need to do to make yourself feel better. Do what's in your heart. I'm so sorry to hear of Toby's passing.
__________________ |
02-14-2007, 08:50 PM | #4 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Dallas/Ft. Worth
Posts: 261
| Don't apologize for the way you feel...or question it. You lost something precious to you & you've got an empty place in your heart & home. Don't be surprised if your feelings change, that's all part of the grieving process. Your feelings show that you're a loving person who misses her best friend, Toby. Your heart will tell you what to do & when you're ready. You are a good Mommy & any furbaby would be glad to be yours. CJ
__________________ "You're not the boss of me!!" Muffin Please come & see me at http://www.dogster.com/dogs/957852 |
02-14-2007, 09:28 PM | #5 |
Little Bit & Buttons Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: US
Posts: 2,160
| After my first Yorkie died, I didn't want another for about 10 yrs either. Had a cat in the meantime and a year or so after my cat died, I was ready for another Yorkie. Everyone is different. You just have to do what brings you (and, of course the rest of your family) joy. |
02-14-2007, 09:35 PM | #6 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Mobile AL
Posts: 1,399
| If your ready to get another yorkie by all means do so! Everyone is different in their grieving, there is no right or wrong way. I say if you feel your ready it, go for it! So sorry about Toby, I know it really hurts when we loose a dear one. |
02-14-2007, 09:47 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,134
| so sorry about you losing Toby. But if you feel a new one would help fill the void, I say start looking for the one you want. It will never take Tobys place for sure but It can help get your mind off of you loss faster I think because you'll have something else to take care of and give you less time to think. But everyone has to go thru their period of grief whatever way helps them the most. It might just be the best thing for you. I wish you all the best.
__________________ Linda and Maggie http://www.dogster.com/dogs/490696. http://www.dropshots.com/mnl |
02-15-2007, 06:52 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| When we lost Maggie, my husband wanted another Yorkie right away. I was not sure. I didn't want to "replace" her. I worried we would never love another as much as Maggie. I resisted a bit, but finally started looking for another Yorkie. We wound up getting both a male and a couple months later a female too. I am so thankful for them! They lifted the whole family. I have two other dogs too -- a dachshund and a Jack Russell. They had been depressed and obviously grieving Maggie's loss too. In tribute to our Maggie -- we will always have Yorkies. Ben and Sadie have brightened all our lives and we do love them just as much. Each is different as night and day, with their own individual personalities and so loving! We all feel differently but I don't think it could ever be wrong to get another pet after we have lost one. Our special pets will always have a place in our hearts long after they are gone. But a new baby finds its own place in our heart to fill too! So, find that new special addition -- in tribute to your dear Toby! I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the new baby will bring you some comfort and grow to be as important a member of your family as Toby!
__________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard |
02-15-2007, 07:02 AM | #9 |
No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 16,218
| I am sorry for your loss of Toby. Another dog will not replace the love you had for Toby but it will replace the whole that was left in your heart. I waited for 3yrs before getting another dog. I was sure I did not want to put myself through the grieving process again. It was to much for me. But the time came when I knew it was time to start again. If you feel it the right time then by all means do what you want. Your not being disloyal in anyway to Toby. He would want you to be happy. Carol & Buddy |
02-15-2007, 07:27 AM | #10 | |
Crazy about Kacee! Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 21,173
| Quote:
__________________ Karen Kacee Muffin 1991-2005 Rest in Peace My Little Angel | |
02-15-2007, 08:02 AM | #11 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Somerville, New Jersey, USA
Posts: 42
| I'm so sorry for your loss. My family lost our sweet girl Piper two weeks ago today, and the pain is unbelievable. She was our first Yorkie, and brought so much love to our family. As everyone here has already told you, we each grieve in different ways. There is no "normal". I think you should look at it this way.....because Toby was so special to you, and you are missing him so much, you are not being disloyal to his memory by wanting another pup so soon. If anything, your feelings are a tribute to him and what a wonderful dog he was. And no, I don't think you are trying to replace him. That could never happen. But, you can still have a totally different, but, special, relationship with another special Yorkie. Piper was my first "grand baby", my daughter's little girl. In our family, we are all feeling the loss differently. I, too, in just a few days started thinking of the next one, and even applied as a foster home to a rescue group. My daughter Jessie, needs more time, but, has said she wants another Yorkie. Hubby and son are leaning more like me. When it is right, we'll know, I'm sure. The feelings you have for your sweet Toby, will never diminish. It will get easier in time. Try to remember all of the great times and love you shared with him. Nothing can take that away. And when you do get your new dog, just remember that Toby is with you and watching your adventures with the new pup, happily. My prayers are with you and your family.
__________________ Karen, "Mom" to Libby, my Golden Girl, and "Nanny" to Piper, who left us much too soon. |
02-15-2007, 09:45 AM | #12 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: No. Virginia
Posts: 96
| I can feel your pain. We lost our darling Daisy last May at only a year and a half old. It happened during a particularly hard time for our family as our daughter was ill. Daisy was the light of our lives. She made all of the bad things our family was going through seem temporarily gone. My daughter (and the rest of us) couldn't take the whole in our lives. Four days later we brought Darcy home. Darcy didn't by any means replace Daisy, but she helped our family through a tough time. I introduced Daisy, in her resting place, to Darcy and told her that it was because of her that we brought Darcy into our lives. I also had the pleasure of introducing Rocky to Daisy four months ago. We are still going through rough times and treat our furbabies like royalty. I think we have a very special family both human and canine (feline and bird too). Don't worry about how you grieve, we all do what we need to do.
__________________ Yorkies Rock!! Darcy, Rocky, & Daisy |
02-15-2007, 10:39 AM | #13 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ohio
Posts: 80
| I only have one thing to say to everyone on this website: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I can't believe how lucky I was to find this site. I do believe that Toby must have guided me to it. The fact that some of you have been thru what I am going thru and are able to let me know that what I am feeling is ok is so helpful. I went to the grocery today and while there picked up a thank you card to send to our vet for everything he did for Toby. Thank goodness one of my daughters was with me or I would have lost it right there in the store. Thanks again!! |
02-15-2007, 10:46 AM | #14 | |
Crazy about Kacee! Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Kansas
Posts: 21,173
| Quote:
__________________ Karen Kacee Muffin 1991-2005 Rest in Peace My Little Angel | |
02-15-2007, 10:54 AM | #15 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Im so sorry about the passing of your beloved boy! I got my 2 boys only about 1.5 months after my Stuart passed away. I was grieving very much for him, but my boys sat on my lap and licked my tears and my face, smoothered me with kisses and made me feel so much better! I couldn't imagine a house with no critters! I didnt feel guilty for getting my boys so soon afterwards. I did a little comparing with my beloved stuart, but I dont anymore. I think you should do whatever you are most comfortable doing! |
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