My husband is going to be SO MAD at my yorkie!

[cheryl000]

Waistfull:Thanks for the post. It helped alot hearing other people's stories. John and I will have to sit down and have a long talk tomorrow. I will try to repair the project. I just need to tell him that I'm not getting rid of them even if he hates them. I've got to go let them outside now so we can all get a little fresh air. Thanks for all of the replies.

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by Francie

Hmmm...well...I guess the best thing is just sit down with your husband and "Agree to Disagree", with the understanding that you would not expect him to be "Attached" to the dogs...but that you WOULD expect him to respect you and the fact that you want to keep your animals..that you love them...and that he would have to treat them "kindly". If he never learns to "Gush with enthusiasm" over your pups...so be it. I'm sure there are several things of your husband's that you could cheerfully throw in the trash...but you live with it.

Francie

P.S. Maybe your husband could do some "one on one" 'time with Dominick...and build a pup-proof project!

lol. We're going to just hang them in Dom's room for now on. And not let them dry out on the kitchen table anymore. I just hope that we can get Brandy to stay put.
I wanted to let you all know to thank your husbands who share your love for your animals. You don't know how much I envy a man loving a dog.

[Chelsey]

Good luck for tomorrow remember they are YOUR babies! We are here for you dont forget

[SnowWa]

Personally, I think you are having more husband problems than you are having puppy problems. Your puppy may be more difficult than some, but his behaviour is still typical of most puppies.

You have a few choices:

1) One is not keeping the puppy because it is causing so many problems with your husband. (I personally would resent my husband forever, if I had to resort to this.)

2) Another is keeping the puppy in spite of your husband (not a good solution either).

3) The best solution is to come up with something that is acceptable to the whole family
-------------------------------------------------------------------

What might work is : ---- Ask your husband for a period of time to work things out with the puppy (three months at least). Have him agree that he has to be involved, be nicer, and work with you to try and help solve some of the problems you are having with the puppy.

During this time, go to puppy training classes with your pup. This could be very helpful. But, you must have your husband and son agree that what you learn in these classes will be reinforced by the whole family at home.

Hopefully, in three month's time, your husband will become more attached to the puppy, and also during this time, the puppy's behavior will improve because he has been to training classes, and you have all learned better how to work with him, and because he is older.

---------------------

If your husband agrees to and works with the above plan, you have to really cook him all his favorite meals, etc., and let him know constantly how much you appreciate it.

---------------------

The down side is (of course) -- if things don't work out or haven't improved after three months, you have agreed to let your puppy go to a new home.

You have to put your marriage first - but, working together with a plan for a specified period of time might help you solve most of the problems you are having with the little pup. And, then all of you can enjoy the little guy, and he'll be a real member of the family.

Good luck! Carol Jean

[cheryl000]

Thanks for the post Carol. Great advise. I believe we have always had a great marriage. He is my best friend and we have always had good times together. I will try those things out and hopefully time will make things better. That is what happened with the cat (who he even said he was allergic to.) He never owned a pet as a child, his parents never allowed it. Maybe after time he will learn to love them. Right now he just "tolerates" them for me and Dominick.
Oh and I should be able to fix the ornament. I looked at it and I think I can glue it together and put glitter over the chew marks.

[Sugar's Mom]

Originally Posted by cheryl000

Thank you for the apology. It used to feel like at least Bailey was his responsibility too. But I have been the one petting them and teaching them tricks. I taught Bailey how to roll over in one night. I keep trying to get John to do the tricks with them, but the dogs only listen to me (they will sit when my son tells them to, but that's about it.) John doesn't want to go on walks with us. The closest thing I had gotten him to do was a yorkie meetup. But still things haven't changed.
My husband is not attached to these dogs if they do the wrong thing he doesn't understand that it's not their fault. He doesn't see them as babies like I do. He got mad at me once for holding Brandy while I was on the computer when I had told Dom that I couldn't hold him anymore when I was on the comp. It's because Dom is too big and heavy. I don't know if John is really jealous or what his problem is. It just wasn't this way at first.

Sounds to me like he is jealous of your new baby. I have no advice to offer different than what others have said. I hope things work out for you. If my hubby told me to get rid of my baby, I would throw his pug straight out the door. Sorry, all you dog lovers. No, really, if i couldn't keep my baby, he would not keep his pug and there would be war in this household. On the other hand, I would be very upset too if a dog tore up my child's "first" of things I intended to save. My son is 29 and I have things from his baby days right on up except a few Christmas ornamnets he made at school that he took to his home and the ex-wife ended up with them.

[red98vett]

I just read all three pages and you are in a dilema aren't you ? Sorry about the project but honestly - that could have happened puppy or no puppy - I remember doing something with my kids and we dropped it after we finished - and poof - all that work gone in an instant.

Maybe you can do a new and improved project and consider that other one a test run ?

On your husband not loving your baby - he may never love Bailey. He may be jealous too and that is something that really is just a personality trait with some people and nothing you do will change it IF that's the case. I feel sorry for you cause I can tell you want him to love your puppy like you do ...so....what about giving them alone time ? Maybe if he HAD to be responsible for the puppy all day and the only one around they would bond better ?

you did make me appreciate the fact that my husband (though ill and can't be too physical) loves them just as much as I do.... and every little thing they do that thrills me - thrills him too

I just want to say sorry for what's going on - send you a hug ....and WE LOVE your baby here....

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by Sugar's Mom

Sounds to me like he is jealous of your new baby. I have no advice to offer different than what others have said. I hope things work out for you. If my hubby told me to get rid of my baby, I would throw his pug straight out the door. Sorry, all you dog lovers. No, really, if i couldn't keep my baby, he would not keep his pug and there would be war in this household. On the other hand, I would be very upset too if a dog tore up my child's "first" of things I intended to save. My son is 29 and I have things from his baby days right on up except a few Christmas ornamnets he made at school that he took to his home and the ex-wife ended up with them.

Thanks for understanding from another mom's point of view. I'm sorry the ex-wife ended up with them, she shouldn't have a right to them.
He used to like the pug. Then after I got Brandy he stopped liking both of them. The neighbor's dog (we share a fenced in duplex) tore up their stuffed animal and she dug holes even before we moved there. So it was a mess and he blamed our dogs even though I told him that they were with me at the time and when we got home I saw the mess so it couldn't have been my dogs. It's like he is just looking for excuses to hate them. I have no idea how anyone could not love Brandy the way I do. Then my husband just doesn't.

He said before we got her that he wouldn't walk her or hold her because he didn't want to look feminine. He told me to get whatever makes me happy. I really thought that was ridiculous and he would get over that and stop caring about what other people think. Did anyone else go through this with their husband?

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by red98vett

I just read all three pages and you are in a dilema aren't you ? Sorry about the project but honestly - that could have happened puppy or no puppy - I remember doing something with my kids and we dropped it after we finished - and poof - all that work gone in an instant.

Maybe you can do a new and improved project and consider that other one a test run ?

On your husband not loving your baby - he may never love Bailey. He may be jealous too and that is something that really is just a personality trait with some people and nothing you do will change it IF that's the case. I feel sorry for you cause I can tell you want him to love your puppy like you do ...so....what about giving them alone time ? Maybe if he HAD to be responsible for the puppy all day and the only one around they would bond better ?

you did make me appreciate the fact that my husband (though ill and can't be too physical) loves them just as much as I do.... and every little thing they do that thrills me - thrills him too

I just want to say sorry for what's going on - send you a hug ....and WE LOVE your baby here....

Thanks for the support. My husband has been like this for a while. And because of some of the judgemental people on here I was afraid to post about it. Now that I took a better look at it I have all of the pieces and I really think I can put it together. I have gotten so jealous in the past of hearing how some of their husbands call their dogs "thier babies" and hug them. Or when I go to Petco and see a guy holding a yorkie.
I am not sure. The other day I did go Christmas shopping while he was home and he did clean up after the dogs and let them out. So he "tolerates" them. I just haven't seen him pet them. I feel sorry for them so I try to give them enough attention for the both of us. We will have a long talk about this tomorrow. I have been hoping that he just doesn't show them love while I am around.

[wendybee]

im sorry to here your husband doesnt like your doggies, do you think he will change his mind? my husband loves rosie but when i first asked if i could have a yorkie he said NO NO NO i screamed at him sulked cryed and he stilled said NO, so i sat down and wrote him a letter explaining why i realy wanted a dog and that i wanted him to want one to, he understood and let me get my rosie (who he loves as much as me) but its me who takes her out me who feeds her and me who cleans up after her and always will, thats fine by me as long as i have my baby.

do you think writing a letter to your husband explaining how much you love brandy and want to keep her would help, say you will try your hardest to stop her from tearing things up it will stop as she gets older he will just have to be patience

[StewiesMom]

Originally Posted by cheryl000

I really hope that it will do the trick. I just hope that it will be good enough for my husband. He used to pet Bailey all the time. But he doesn't touch Brandy and after Brandy tore up Dom's project, John doesn't want anything to do with BOTH of the dogs and he keeps telling me to get rid of them. I never see him pet them anymore. He says having dogs has now turned him into a cat person. He gets mad that they don't come to him when he calls them. I told him that of course they won't come to him if he's not nice to them. I have been waiting for him to warm up to them, but it doesn't look like it's happening.

Ok, I'll say it. Why is hubby being so cold-hearted? I'd be getting rid of him before I got rid of the dogs.

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by wendybee

im sorry to here your husband doesnt like your doggies, do you think he will change his mind? my husband loves rosie but when i first asked if i could have a yorkie he said NO NO NO i screamed at him sulked cryed and he stilled said NO, so i sat down and wrote him a letter explaining why i realy wanted a dog and that i wanted him to want one to, he understood and let me get my rosie (who he loves as much as me) but its me who takes her out me who feeds her and me who cleans up after her and always will, thats fine by me as long as i have my baby.

do you think writing a letter to your husband explaining how much you love brandy and want to keep her would help, say you will try your hardest to stop her from tearing things up it will stop as she gets older he will just have to be patience

I will try the letter if I can't get through to him by talking to him again. Whenever he brings it up I pretty much have been saying,"NO, end of subject" instead of telling him why. I didn't think I had to explain to him how I feel about Brandy. But he has never been an emotional guy except when it comes to his son. He is one of those people who calls them "Just dogs."

[SnowWa]

Cheryl

Me again - I think we all realize that a lot of people are not totally neurotic about dogs and other pets the way we are. Most of us totally spoil our little Yorkies - mine has more clothes than I do - he has enough toys to fill a nursery - I spend more at the grocery store on him and my other pets than I spend on myself, and I want him with me as much as possible. Now -- I know most people are not like this - but a lot are!

It's kind of hard to expect everyone to be like "lucky us." I think it's a "gene." People are either born with it or without it.

So -- if your husband gets to where he can "tolerate" your pets, I would call this "good enough." It may be all he has in him.......as far as caring for pets goes.

**** My brother is a psychologist - and his wife is the worst yet (I won't even go into how she is with her pets -- somewhat totally crazy - even for me.) But my brother could care less. He thinks she's "nuts," but it doesn't bother him. He even laughs about it. So - I would say that he "tolerates" her pets very well, and it works out great for both of them.

Good luck - again - Carol Jean

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by StewiesMom

Ok, I'll say it. Why is hubby being so cold-hearted? I'd be getting rid of him before I got rid of the dogs.

I think what you are saying is easier said than done. That is just the way he is. I honestly didn't even feel REALLY loved from him until about a year after dating him. He even admits that I loved him before he loved me. He is a well-liked, fun guy who loves children. He used to like dogs basically until I got Brandy.
He was the same way about the cat. Then until a couple months ago he started petting her. I love my husband very much and I believe that I have to be considerate of what he wants in the relationship too. I have explained to him that the dogs are not disposible. I am just asking for ways for him to bond with them. I don't want a divorce or anything over this.

[cheryl000]

Originally Posted by SnowWa

Cheryl

Me again - I think we all realize that a lot of people are not totally neurotic about dogs and other pets the way we are. Most of us totally spoil our little Yorkies - mine has more clothes than I do - he has enough toys to fill a nursery - I spend more at the grocery store on him and my other pets than I spend on myself, and I want him with me as much as possible. Now -- I know most people are not like this - but a lot are!

It's kind of hard to expect everyone to be like "lucky us." I think it's a "gene." People are either born with it or without it.

So -- if your husband gets to where he can "tolerate" your pets, I would call this "good enough." It may be all he has in him.......as far as caring for pets goes.

**** My brother is a psychologist - and his wife is the worst yet (I won't even go into how she is with her pets -- somewhat totally crazy - even for me.) But my brother could care less. He thinks she's "nuts," but it doesn't bother him. He even laughs about it. So - I would say that he "tolerates" her pets very well, and it works out great for both of them.

Good luck - again - Carol Jean

Thanks for the reply. Your brother sounds like a smart man. I have always believed that a marriage is about give and take. I will just try to figure out something that I let him have that I tolerate for an example, like him playing that D*mn Xbox until 3 in the morning. heh
As for the clothes, yeah, Brandy does have alot. And he said that she didn't need a "holiday dress." But I think I'm going to get her one anyways.