Help!! Trying to convince husband

[yorkieusa]

Originally Posted by bodisat

Like i said, have your hubby pm me any time.

I cant believe the responses i have read thus far. Worse than watching "dance moms".
The choice between a dog and a marriage should not be the discussion here. Not a single person here understands your family, or your situation.
People here need to relax...uugggghhh
A yorkie will break the most hardened man......most dogs will
Just because a person does not feel it is the right time for a dog, does not mean he is not a good husband.
we dont know all the circumstances people. bunch of stresses out there. might just be his way of saying its not the right time.
better than taking a puppy that you cant take care of... right?

That is not always the outcome. Not that long ago a new member stated that she brought home a yorkie puppy and her husband "made" her rehome it.

A "good" husband does not laugh at or berate his wife.

[Smokey2011]

Originally Posted by bodisat

Like i said, have your hubby pm me any time.

I cant believe the responses i have read thus far. Worse than watching "dance moms".
The choice between a dog and a marriage should not be the discussion here. Not a single person here understands your family, or your situation.
People here need to relax...uugggghhh
A yorkie will break the most hardened man......most dogs will

Just because a person does not feel it is the right time for a dog, does not mean he is not a good husband.
we dont know all the circumstances people. bunch of stresses out there. might just be his way of saying its not the right time.
better than taking a puppy that you cant take care of... right?

Though my first reaction was "F" him (hubby), I do have to agree with Bodisat. I would also like to add that ametur psychology is an extremely dangerous undertaking, especially when one does not know the complete story or what kind of actions/reactions one's advice might be responsible for setting off.

Ma'am, my advice to you is to seek competent, professional advice.

[chachi]

Originally Posted by Smokey2011

Though my first reaction was "F" him (hubby), I do have to agree with Bodisat. I would also like to add that ametur psychology is an extremely dangerous undertaking, especially when one does not know the complete story or what kind of actions/reactions one's advice might be responsible for setting off.

Ma'am, my advice to you is to seek competent, professional advice.

I dont see it as amaetur psycology I see it as supporting her. Anyone a friend, a family member or even us on a forum can take the info she gives and give an opinon and its not psycology. Im sure she is mature enough to understand the difference between professional advice and that which is given by people that care and support her. I see no reason to belittle her that she doesnt

[chachi]

Originally Posted by yorkieusa

That is not always the outcome. Not that long ago a new member stated that she brought home a yorkie puppy and her husband "made" her rehome it.

A "good" husband does not laugh at or berate his wife.

And disrespect her by including the child in it. And I dont see anyone giving her serious advice to leave her husband. Some just made off hand comments. Im sure she is mature enough to put those in perspective. She is reaching out to us,you dont know she may not even have anyone she can reach out to and we are giving our perspective on the situation nothing more nothing less

[Smokey2011]

Originally Posted by chachi

I dont see it as amaetur psycology I see it as supporting her. Anyone a friend, a family member or even us on a forum can take the info she gives and give an opinon and its not psycology. Im sure she is mature enough to understand the difference between professional advice and that which is given by people that care and support her. I see no reason to belittle her that she doesnt

I am in no way belittling this woman. I am questioning the prudence and wisdom of some of the "advice" that has been offered in this thread.

[yorkieusa]

Originally Posted by Smokey2011

I am in no way belittling this woman. I am questioning the prudence and wisdom of some of the "advice" that has been offered in this thread.

Of course, that doesn't include the "advice" that you gave.

[chachi]

Well I went through and one person out of all the people giving advice said get rid of controlling husband. Give me a break

[brezofleur]

Originally Posted by Smokey2011

I am in no way belittling this woman. I am questioning the prudence and wisdom of some of the "advice" that has been offered in this thread.

I agree 100%.

We do not know their situation, any of the persons involved, or the behaviors of said persons.

Just getting the dog and "asking for forgiveness" is not good advice in this situation, imo. Especially if he is abusive in any way (verbally, emotionally, physically, etc).

OP, we have really strayed off from your original question and are questioning your personally life. For that, I apologize if it has caused any negativity towards you. We do not know you and I think it's unfair to you without knowing a full picture, as many of us are guessing at things (which may or may not be correct). I am guilty of this too.

However, I do agree that, based on what you have told us, you should seek some professional help. Even if you or he think there is nothing wrong, you should hear that from someone who would know.

We're just hear to support you.

[chachi]

I swear the constant drama over everything gets so old. We are not professionals as I have said. We are people on a forum taking a little bit of info and giving opinions. Our advice shouldnt be considered professional opinion and Im sure the OP is mature enough to be aware of that. Again anyone who cares about her or supports her such as family,friends or even us on an online forum can give her an opinion based on the info she has given and it is not professional advice and she knows that. It is so completely aggrivating that some want to make this forum so politically correct you cant give an opinion or voice outrage over a situation. This forum is for helping people and not all people are the same and do it the same way. Nor should they be. Geesh drama drama drama

[yorkieaddict70]

I have to agree with letting hubby have a say in it. Granted that's not how I did it, but I knew my hubby would fall in love with them and then it'd be all over with. Hehehe.. But don't get me wrong, he starts off really crabby discussing it. After a while he helps me picking out things and he's baby talking them.

[gemy]

I went back and looked at the question asked by the OP - need help in convincing my husband.....

She explained a bit of her home situation; that which she though was pertinent to the inquiry. She included the age of her son 15yrs old, which enables responders to understand that she is a mature woman; the length of her marriage 18 yrs, and finally somewhat about why she wants a pup.

How each responder answered the question was under the backdrop of this information.
Some responded and shared their experience in getting a pup: ie; I did the get pup and asked forgiveness; and all worked out.
Some pointed out in their belief systems; that better have your hubby on board prior to committing to a pup; and elaborated "why".
Some shared how they broached the subject with their husband, and why they did it that way; ie overcoming some stated hurdle in the decision making process.
Some commented on her situation as described and expressed concern over what appears to be an overarching problem in their relationship that "the puppy question is perhaps an example of".

Each and every comment can provide this mature woman another point of view, provide if you will a landscape of richness she hadn't seen yet. An opportunity to think about the problem in a different way. That is the pro's of an on line forum.

the reality of this situation and any other situation of "persuading someone" to do this or that, or agree to this or that; is that there are no Magic questions; no universal kindof "gotcha now question".

What we can share is our own individual experiences with a husband that is "initially reluctant or even opposed", and how we got from there to our new "puppy".

For myself I prefer to assume this lady is of matured intelligence, capable of separating responses with her critical thinking skills. After all she did find this forum, and in a subsequent post seems to want to stay here and learn.

To the OP, if you've not been on a forum before, some threads can delightfully digress, meander, and argue back n forth, about this or that.

I for one, hope you stay and ask what-ever question is on your mind and heart.

[navillusc]

Originally Posted by gemy

I went back and looked at the question asked by the OP - need help in convincing my husband.....

She explained a bit of her home situation; that which she though was pertinent to the inquiry. She included the age of her son 15yrs old, which enables responders to understand that she is a mature woman; the length of her marriage 18 yrs, and finally somewhat about why she wants a pup.

How each responder answered the question was under the backdrop of this information.
Some responded and shared their experience in getting a pup: ie; I did the get pup and asked forgiveness; and all worked out.
Some pointed out in their belief systems; that better have your hubby on board prior to committing to a pup; and elaborated "why".
Some shared how they broached the subject with their husband, and why they did it that way; ie overcoming some stated hurdle in the decision making process.
Some commented on her situation as described and expressed concern over what appears to be an overarching problem in their relationship that "the puppy question is perhaps an example of".

Each and every comment can provide this mature woman another point of view, provide if you will a landscape of richness she hadn't seen yet. An opportunity to think about the problem in a different way. That is the pro's of an on line forum.

the reality of this situation and any other situation of "persuading someone" to do this or that, or agree to this or that; is that there are no Magic questions; no universal kindof "gotcha now question".

What we can share is our own individual experiences with a husband that is "initially reluctant or even opposed", and how we got from there to our new "puppy".

For myself I prefer to assume this lady is of matured intelligence, capable of separating responses with her critical thinking skills. After all she did find this forum, and in a subsequent post seems to want to stay here and learn.

To the OP, if you've not been on a forum before, some threads can delightfully digress, meander, and argue back n forth, about this or that.

I for one, hope you stay and ask what-ever question is on your mind and heart.

Exactly.

OP knows she's the only one who can decide how to handle her situation and has to live with the results of her decision. She wanted ideas (IMHO), and there have been lots of them from which she can craft her own solution...or not.

OP'll figure it out...but now she's got a cheering section behind her, too.

[azkaty]

Gemy, well said..

[chachi]

Originally Posted by gemy

I went back and looked at the question asked by the OP - need help in convincing my husband.....

She explained a bit of her home situation; that which she though was pertinent to the inquiry. She included the age of her son 15yrs old, which enables responders to understand that she is a mature woman; the length of her marriage 18 yrs, and finally somewhat about why she wants a pup.

How each responder answered the question was under the backdrop of this information.
Some responded and shared their experience in getting a pup: ie; I did the get pup and asked forgiveness; and all worked out.
Some pointed out in their belief systems; that better have your hubby on board prior to committing to a pup; and elaborated "why".
Some shared how they broached the subject with their husband, and why they did it that way; ie overcoming some stated hurdle in the decision making process.
Some commented on her situation as described and expressed concern over what appears to be an overarching problem in their relationship that "the puppy question is perhaps an example of".

Each and every comment can provide this mature woman another point of view, provide if you will a landscape of richness she hadn't seen yet. An opportunity to think about the problem in a different way. That is the pro's of an on line forum.

the reality of this situation and any other situation of "persuading someone" to do this or that, or agree to this or that; is that there are no Magic questions; no universal kindof "gotcha now question".

What we can share is our own individual experiences with a husband that is "initially reluctant or even opposed", and how we got from there to our new "puppy".

For myself I prefer to assume this lady is of matured intelligence, capable of separating responses with her critical thinking skills. After all she did find this forum, and in a subsequent post seems to want to stay here and learn.

To the OP, if you've not been on a forum before, some threads can delightfully digress, meander, and argue back n forth, about this or that.

I for one, hope you stay and ask what-ever question is on your mind and heart.

I agree she could have learned something on this thread and she may have never really reached out to anyone like she did us on this thread and I think it was a good thing and even if some of the responses may have been questionable she can sort through all the info given and help her make a decision and put things into perspective. I havent seen her back on here though so Im concerned about that

[zedhead]

Heres' My (eh hem) man take...

Its sounds like Your DH is a control type person, while You are the passive in the relationship? Most here know how a pack works?

Personaly, I'd find out more about his objections. If it's a small dog thing, try and reassure him enough to agree to a trial run. Maybe babysit someones dog while their out of town?

It only takes a couple of days, and these little fur balls will melt his heart.
I NEVER thought I'd be a small dog person. We grew up with Shepards and Malamutes. But after adopting our first Yorkie, I don't think we'll be without one in our house again! (Andy's sitting on my lap as I type)