Help!! Trying to convince husband

[wooofa]

Originally Posted by lovespandp

Sometimes it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permisson :0)

definitely true! My mom wanted one, her boyfriend said no.... so after a while of asking, I bought Harley and we all ended up loving him to pieces! My moms boyfriend even loves him, harley sleeps on him..

[My lil friend]

I understand that you are trying to be an obedient,kind and loving wife. However there is another side to that coin,,,being a gentle,kind and loving husband,putting the needs of your chosen mate above yourself.
A bit more than 10yrs ago I wanted a dog,husband didnt want another dog in the house. We had and still have a large dog. I told him that my heart had a need to love something that was entirely mine. Someone that was MY lil friend and that I wanted a dog. I also explained as nicely as I could that I wasnt asking his permission,that I had a need that was not being filled,that it had nothing to do with him. There is a part of your heart that belongs to your dog that noone else can understand. I wasnt asking for him to understand how I felt,I was asking for him to honor my wishes as I have always tried to honor his. He asked that I look at the pound and I did. I did not find my new friend there. I continued my search and found a tiny,male poodle. His name was "Kings Spunkey Bunkey" and he passed away last march at the age of 9. That is how I ended up here on YT and found Mina. I still miss Bunkey and can even tell Mina about him,because I can say anything to her. My husband realizing how much Bunkey ment to me and insisted that I get a new friend and he is as in love with Mina as I am.

I pray that your husbands heart will soften towards your need and that if you do get that special little friend that both of the men in your life will see the joy that it brings.

[lexi43]

Get rid of the controlling husband. He's selfish. I have a friend like this also the only difference is he won't let her have a dog or cat, but she has hampsters, lizzards and other creatures. He used to go off on cruises with his son for months at a time and she would be alone with her critters. Then his son got married and he stays home and complains about her critters. She finally told him if he didn't like her pets to get out so far he's still there complaining

[TwoforFun]

I just have to add. A husband is not a husband if he doesn't support you in every way.

[jmdt]

Originally Posted by Monieh30

Need help convincing my husband to let me adopt a female yorkie.
Posted Today at 08:52 AM by Monieh30
Hello everyone,

I'm new to the community and I love reading everyone's post. I often find myself tearing up as I read and view your yorkies cute pics.

I have been married for 18 years and we have a 15 year old son. I have been asking for a puppy for years (before my son was born) and he always says no, or I don't want to discuss this and leaves the room. I find myself alone more and more as they are doing the guy thing. They are usually at the gym, fishing, bowling, at the movies and playing and watching basketball or football, etc. Our conversations seems a little weird at times. Somethimes when I comment on something, they look at each other and burst out laughing.

Please note during my childhood we have always had some type of pet. We had fish, frogs, hampsters, rabbits, chickens and dogs. All of them were not at the same time of course. I often visit pet stores , read pet books and magazines. Hoping one day the answer would be yes.

Thanks for your advise
Thanks,
Monieh30

Well it looks like your husband is really teaching your son to disrespect you.... Laughing at you??? WTF That's not nice at all.

I say lose the husband and get the dog. I can't believe you need permission!!!

[brezofleur]

Originally Posted by jmdt

Well it looks like your husband is really teaching your son to disrespect you.... Laughing at you??? WTF That's not nice at all.

I'm sorry, but I had overlooked that in my initial reading of your post, OP.

I agree with a previous poster that there is something else going on. I don't agree with how some of the posters have been talking to you, but I do agree that there seems to be a complete lack of respect for your.

Does he frequently laugh at what you say? Do you feel inferior at all or in any way (to either your husband or your son)?

Based on just a couple of things you have said, it might be wise not to get a dog at this point. Of course, *no one* here knows how your relationship is, but it doesn't look entirely positive based on the things you have mentioned.

I hope we're wrong, and that your husband is actually supportive in other things (perhaps he is afraid of dogs like my BF and doesn't like to mention it/let it be known?)

[gemy]

For me a marriage is founded on trust, respect,, and love. Even though my husband loved dogs, and we have a big dog, with another big dog on the way, I wanted a Yorkie. A small dog. I would never have thought not to talk with him about getting this little one.

I did how-ever surprise him at the dinner table, when our trainer/breeder and some friends were over for dinner, saying I want a Yorkie, one from Ilona. There were a couple of reasons for this; a) he respected Ilona as the trainer for Magic b) he could ask questions of Ilona about the breed c) Ilona could see how he was feeling about "ankle biters". We then also had a discussion the next day. He said to me; Honey I can see your heart is made up. Are you sure you want another dog; never mind a show dog? I said yes. My sis wants a small dog; and I want to do agility. Ilona said she has no concerns about Magic and a small dog. And you know Ilona's Yorkies, has any of them been ankle biters? He said no; I just don't like small dogs; but if you want to, which I know you do, then sure go ahead. To put this in context, he was not only agreeing to a "small" dog but the showing and training expense of a show dog, which is not cheap as he knows.

He took about ooh let's say 48 hrs to be totally smitten by Razzle, and has said to me, God I never thought I'd be a small dog lover, but Razzle oh he's changed my perceptions.

So in my roundabout way, I am saying it is always best to discuss getting an animal with your husband. If he is adamantly opposed, well then depending upon your needs and beliefs, you either shelve the idea or go your own way, and once settled in your own house/life, get your dog.

[Sunny95]

Originally Posted by gemy

For me a marriage is founded on trust, respect,, and love. Even though my husband loved dogs, and we have a big dog, with another big dog on the way, I wanted a Yorkie. A small dog. I would never have thought not to talk with him about getting this little one.

I did how-ever surprise him at the dinner table, when our trainer/breeder and some friends were over for dinner, saying I want a Yorkie, one from Ilona. There were a couple of reasons for this; a) he respected Ilona as the trainer for Magic b) he could ask questions of Ilona about the breed c) Ilona could see how he was feeling about "ankle biters". We then also had a discussion the next day. He said to me; Honey I can see your heart is made up. Are you sure you want another dog; never mind a show dog? I said yes. My sis wants a small dog; and I want to do agility. Ilona said she has no concerns about Magic and a small dog. And you know Ilona's Yorkies, has any of them been ankle biters? He said no; I just don't like small dogs; but if you want to, which I know you do, then sure go ahead. To put this in context, he was not only agreeing to a "small" dog but the showing and training expense of a show dog, which is not cheap as he knows.

He took about ooh let's say 48 hrs to be totally smitten by Razzle, and has said to me, God I never thought I'd be a small dog lover, but Razzle oh he's changed my perceptions.

So in my roundabout way, I am saying it is always best to discuss getting an animal with your husband. If he is adamantly opposed, well then depending upon your needs and beliefs, you either shelve the idea or go your own way, and once settled in your own house/life, get your dog.

I agree! Great post!

Discussing with my husband is not asking for permission. It's about respect and I would expect him to do the same. Of course I want him to immediately agree with me but if he doesn't, I'd just have to work on him a bit!

[brezofleur]

Definitely this.

Communication is the number one problem in marriages, and the number one resolver in them.

[yorkiemini]

I have been reading this thread and kept telling myself "stay out of it", but here I am. I am what my husband called "a very epowered female" - he liked that about me so no problem. I don't hear that in your narrative.

Perhap you if you really want a dog tell your husband you want/need to discuss your plans with him, and it he give you that "i don't want to discuss this" you may want to tell him that if he walks away you might consider his lack of willingness to discuss this with you as his way of giving you permission to proceed with your plan (that he has not thus far listened to).

Now I can see that this might get ugly and if it does you have to make your decision from there. But it is never correct to allow your husband and/or on disrespect you -- and if tht is happening you need to understand you ARE allowing it. If that is OK with you, them I'm sure we will all be OK with it and you too. Just hate to see you without your own little furbutt to love!

PS Yorkies are difficult to potty train, so don't kid yourself in that area, it can be frustrating and perhaps more difficult with no support.

What ever you decide will be right for you and your family Your sound like a loving and caring person!

[gracielove]

My dear, why do you need permission? Are you not an adult with a sound mind? Even if you don't work outside the home you are an equal partner in a marriage. Get yourself a dog to keep you company. It sounds like you need some. That is if you have the time to spend with the dog and the patience to train it.

[BLowry]

I do not know the situation in your house but, my husband wasn't too keen on getting a dog either...it took myself and friends, that are dog lovers too, to convince him...He worked all kinds of hours and I was alone alot of the time (second marriage..I have grown children he hasn't any)well he fell in total love with Sadie! then we got Lillie who is an absolute baby and LOVES her pop! and NOW we have Bentley...His reasoning behind not wanting animals is that it hurts to much when that dreadful day comes...but, I told him...they give us so much happiness while they are here...My husband LOVES our furbutts...He isn't a small man...BIG biker guy...It's hilarious when we take them for walks...people just stare at him..LOL...
I would ask your husband the reason why he is so set on not having a dog...He may fall in love with him/her and he may not....If you make the decision to go ahead and get one without him knowing it could turn into a bad situation....I would sit and talk with him...I wouldn't get one behind his back. JMO

[Perrella]

Oh honey, I don't have much in the line of advice to give, but when I read your story, it made my heart hurt for you.

Please never buy from a pet store, you may be getting more heartache than you want to bear.

I believe your husband has to be onboard with getting a yorkie. There is so much cost involved in the basic care of a yorkie ie. shots, spray/neuter, general health issues, yearly examine, dental cleaning, the list goes on and on. Let alone if there is a major health diagnosis, like in my case with the recent surgery with my girl Zhoie and several follow up appointments will be necessary, in general it was several thousand dollars with more to come. It's simply not fair to the dog when you accept responsiblity of being their owner to not be willing to go to that expense at whatever the all costs.

I'm just saying, Zhoie would have received the care she needed, but I thank the Lord I didn't have to have a comfrontation with my husband over it...being on the same page is extremely important.

[bodisat]

Originally Posted by Monieh30

Need help convincing my husband to let me adopt a female yorkie.
Posted Today at 08:52 AM by Monieh30
Hello everyone,

I'm new to the community and I love reading everyone's post. I often find myself tearing up as I read and view your yorkies cute pics.

I have been married for 18 years and we have a 15 year old son. I have been asking for a puppy for years (before my son was born) and he always says no, or I don't want to discuss this and leaves the room. I find myself alone more and more as they are doing the guy thing. They are usually at the gym, fishing, bowling, at the movies and playing and watching basketball or football, etc. Our conversations seems a little weird at times. Somethimes when I comment on something, they look at each other and burst out laughing.

Please note during my childhood we have always had some type of pet. We had fish, frogs, hampsters, rabbits, chickens and dogs. All of them were not at the same time of course. I often visit pet stores , read pet books and magazines. Hoping one day the answer would be yes.

Thanks for your advise
Thanks,
Monieh30

Pm me.... Im a guy who has a little yorkie. It was my choice. I'm a deep sea diver( i work in the oil fields offshore), and i snuggle with my little guy every second i get. I miss my wife and my little boy every second of everyday i'm gone. Wanna talk man stuff, come talk to a deep sea diver.... ha

Infact, i spend 90% of my time in between jobs, with dickie sleeping on top of my face.
Ive had big dogs since i was a kid, but a pit bull lying on your face just does not work

[Monieh30]

I would like to than everyone for their prayers, thoughts and suggestions. My husband isn't crazy, he's just firm and stubborn. He won't hurt the puppy if I brought one home, but I don't won't the tension in the household. Especially around my son and the pup. Please keep me in your prayers. I hope that you will allow me to remain a member even though I don't have a Yorkie..I've learn so much and I feel that I have made several friends.

Monieh30