I'm So Sad

[Brittie123]

Jen I can't even imagine what you are going through. I dont have words that will help you but I am praying for you every day. My heart truly goes out to you.

[lilfoot]

We lost Tesla....our 1st dog of our married life....We lost her to congential heart failure and cancer when she was 14.5 years old.... I thought I would die....I am the one that took her in and had her put to sleep without the rest of the family knowing....I felt it was up to me because I was the one who spent every waking moment with her...We had her longer than we had the kids.....I went through some truly unbearable days...it was my decision to get another dog right away....I went through the same things you are thinking....about replacing her, forgetting about her, doing unjustice to her....everything you could imagine.....but I truly didn't think I could go on with out something furry to love...that is how I came to own my first yorkie...she didn't replace Tesla by any means but she helped me grieve in a more of a controllable manner.( we did have Tesla cremated so she is still with us everyday)...and you know that there are times that Zoe acts in a way that I swear Tesla has taken over her body for just a second......As far as putting a new puppy in Katies things...we took all of Tesla's things to the human society....bones toys food etc...however I did keep her water bowl...it was her first and only water bowl in the 14.5 years.... and no Zoe does not use it we have put it away......
I still cry many of tears of Tesla like I am doing this very moment and it has been 3 years.....but I did what I thought was best for me and that was getting another dog right away not to replace but to help with the grieving and you have to do what is best for you...Good luck with everything and I am truly sorry for everything that you have gone through!!!

[txshopper73]

Originally Posted by red98vett

Sweetie...you could never ever replace Katie - When we get another to love we are honoring the loss of a loved one - not substituting them with a new version...each yorkie is special in their own way and there will never be another Katie for you - but there COULD be another to help heal the voids in your heart...

You've lost your mom...that in itself was horrible - but to lose your yorkie also is such a double whammy....and I'm still so so sorry for your losses.

Katie would want you to love another yorkie - you are a good mom and she wouldn't want you sad.....and I agree...Codie is grieving also and I think a new puppy would really help him -

Your husband sounds wonderful and he knows how devestated you were over your mom and the loss of your little Katie - He'll be fine but I worry more about YOU.

I think a puppy is a wonderful idea....I honestly do.

Jennifer and Villette, you're posts have made me cry. Jenn, you know that your hubby loves you. In loving someone, you learn to forgive. He's forgiven you. Now it's time for you to forgive yourself.

I agree with Villette. Getting another yorkie does not mean that you're replacing her.

[YorkieShadow]

I think you should get the puppy. It will not replace the one that you lost but it will help heal you.and It will also help your other baby out. so I say yes. Im sure even though you are hurting this little puppy will help warm your heart and put a smile back on your face. Good luck . I wish you the best.

[yorkiegal719]

Oh Jen I know what you are going through. I just lost my dad 2 weeks ago tonight and I couldn't imagine losing one of my boys at the same time. Your grief is twofold, and it won't matter what anyone says, your heart is broken and the only thing that will start to heal it is time. I do understand why you did that to your hubby, you thought that he was trying to replace your little girl, which will never happen. But, I can guarantee that if you open up your heart to another little one the love will just come naturally. She will never take the place of your little girl but they'll be another one to love. Shed your tears, I still do, even for my yorkies that I lost years ago (14), my mom, my dad and others, it's just something that makes me feel good. Give your hubby a big hug and welcome any new addtions to your family with open arms...

[SnowWa]

You're not replacing Katie. You're just getting another little dog to love.

I can tell you from recent experience what I went through.

I lost my dog (the real love of my life) about two months ago. I didn't think I would ever get over losing her. But, I had always told myself that if and when I lost one of my dogs I would get another one as soon as possible.

However, right after losing Dutchess, I really wasn't in any hurry to get another dog. But after only a few weeks, I started thinking about getting one, and, before long, I came home with my first Yorkie - the cutest little pup in the world.

I want you to know that I sit here with this darling new little puppy on my lap and miss Dutchess just as much as I would have if I hadn't gotten the little pup. I will miss Dutchess every day of my life - and, at the same time I love this new little puppy to pieces. He is the sweetest little thing in the world.

We are able to love an infinite number of things. Adding another to our heart doesn't detract from the love we have for anything else. It just an addition to all the things we love.

One pleasant thing has happened. Having this new little puppy is bringing back memories of Dutchess that I had long ago forgotten. The puppy is reminding me of so many things that Dutchess did when she was a little pup.......puppy breath, chewing on my hands trying to teethe - the way it sleeps like a little angel so much of the time, but spends the rest of it's day running around like a playful little maniac...and of course the peeing and pooping in the wrong places. What wonderful memories. I regret that I couldn't have had both of them at the same time.

I think your getting a new little puppy was just too soon - and losing your mother at the same time only compounded your grief.

I hope your husband understands, and I hope you know that what he did was one of the sweetest things I have ever heard of a husband doing.

Best of luck - I hope you do get a new little puppy soon...not as a replacement, but as an addition.

Good Luck - Carol Jean

[Connie]

Dear Jen...I have thought about you so much and remember you and your family in my prayers. You must be so overwhelmed with grief and I just feel so sad for you!

One thing I am grateful for is to hear that you have a wonderful, comforting husband who is doing whatever possible to help take some of the pain and sadness away! Knowing you have him makes me feel better!

I don't want to tell you to go get that puppy...do what your heart tells you. I will tell you though, when I got Maddie, just looking at her cute little face and the things she did, made me laugh and smile more than I had in a long, long time! I want that for you...to be able to smile and laugh now and then. I'm not saying you will forget about the sadness of your Mom and Katie...the grieving process doesn't stop in a few weeks or even months, but I'd think a little precious yorkie would help you through that grieving process. Bless your heart and best wishes in your decision!

[Thorsmomma]

I am so glad you have a wonderful husband. He sounds like a wonderful person and although you feel terrible about screaming at him etc, he understands you and it will be fine. After all you have been through so much. No, another dog can ever replace your girl, but I do think another pup will help heal some of your pain from the loss of your little girl. If Codie benifits from this other dog too, then that is great. I will be keeping you in my thoughts. You have been through SO much, and time will help. It sounds to me like you have a WONDERFUL husband.
Hannah

[CC's]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm sure your hubby understands your pain was your reaction.

Follow your heart, its rarely wrong.

[rnnw62]

I don't blame you for being so sad Jen....It makes me sad that you
had to go through such a huge loss. The emotions you are experiencing
are quite normal and I am sure your husband knows that too. Just
remember that memories are forever. They are the things that no one
can take away from us. Kati and your Mom left foot prints on your
heart that will never fade. As for your sister don't feel bad everyone
goes through the grieving process in different ways. You hardly got
to mourn your first loss before you were handed yet another so you
are more than entitled to display your feelings in any way you choose
to at this point. My thoughts, prayers and best wishes are with you
as well as your husband. Where the new puppy is concerned your
heart definitely will lead you to make the best decision. Take Care...

[diva pup]

Jennifer It sounds like you have a wonderful loving husband.
Men have a horrible sense of timing God bless them, but you know he was only desperate to make you feel a little better. You can never replace Katy but bringing a new baby in will give you another focus and you will love it too Sometimes that is what we need to begin the moving on process and heal.
Good luck in whatever decision you make and I will be thinking of you.

[Suesues37]

Most of us can understand the crying for your baby girl and mom. I lost both years ago and all thought I cried for my mom and missed her it was such a difference with my baby girl.

I think the reason is that our babies totally depend on us and they trust us and need us 100%. Our mom's we depended on we needed them and that is hard to lose that. Most of us are the sole care givers for our babies. Our family might play with them or feel a food dish every now and then but we do all the rest. The vet visit's just like our kids, most of the cuddle time, the walks, playing in the yard. They are our total universe.

Don't feel bad about being sad for crying for your baby. You will make the right decision for you. It took me 8 years to think I could deal with another baby which was way to long. Then when we started looking it took another year to find the one that I thought was perfect for me. Then a year after that I took a second baby.

It has sure been a set back in emotions this week with her having her babies to early and it still hurts but when I lay beside of her and rub her tummy and she looks at me with those trusting eyes I know that babies are what most of need in our lives to let us nurture something for ever and ever.

Praying for you

[HisNameIsHarley]

I am so sorry for both of your losses and can't imagine the pain and heartbreak you are dealing with daily. Sadly, men have the worst timing possible and I truly believe that your hubby forgives you and loves you enough to understand the hurting you're feeling inside. You're right, you can't and won't ever be able to replace your Katie bc she has left her own unique paw prints on your heart that no one and no other dog will ever be able to take away from you. Bringing another pup into your life of course is never an easy decision to make but you need to understand that you are not betraying your beloved Katie if you do bring a new furbaby into your life. In fact, I believe your Katie is on the rainbow bridge right now hoping and praying that her mommy and daddy make it through ok and hoping that everything works out for the best for her brother. You are definately not in the wrong for the way you reacted bc I am sure many, many of us would have lost it too. Losing your best furbaby companion and losing your mother all at the same time is a loss that few could deal with. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be loved so much by your hubby. You have to be deserving or God would not have blessed you with so much of his love. He obviously wants only the best for you, even if he couldn't work out how to do it yet. Whether you decide to bring a new dog into your life or not, you must do what is best for everyone in your family. It must be a really tough decision to make bc you want your boy to be relieved from his seperation anxiety (w/o Harley, Zeus falls apart ) but you're not sure if you're prepared to fall in love all over again with those beautiful yorkie eyes.. Remember that you are not alone in this and it's obvious that your husband is willing to do whatever it takes to help you through this awful time. Just trust your instincts and follow your heart but know that you are only human and situations like this will never be easy to deal with but you will come through and the sun will shine again. And never forget that you will always have all of us here on YT to support you through anything and everything. You are in my prayers.