I'm So Sad

[suz]

Kahlil Gibran said "And ever has it been that love knows not it's own depth until the hour of separation".

You have gone thorough a tremendious amount of pain. It is completely understandable why you snapped at your wonderful husband. But if it were me, I'd remember my fur-baby, not by replacing her, but by giving the amount of love you lost to a new one. By honoring the memory of her. You will never replace that love you shared with her. No 2 Yorkies are alike. But give yourself a chance to love another one. Love is a tricky emotion. Katie would want you to go on. Codie is in pain too. Maybe by learning to love another one, you will not only heal yourself, you will also help Codie and your husband. If he went to get you another Yorkie, he understands how much you were in pain. He was only trying to help. Chances are, he's in pain too. I think this is a win-win situation for all of you. Good Luck.
Suz

[JCarlson2004]

Originally Posted by dhudson4

I am sorry for you losses.

You are so blessed to have someone by your side to help you through this difficult time. No one can tell you how to feel or greave but I think that you were probably more upset seeing the sweater on the puppy, than at the fact your husband bought the actual puppy. You know once someone has a special place in out hearts NO ONE can EVER take their place.

My advice to people is do what is best for you, because only you have the answer to your happiness.

Continue to be blessed.

I think you're right. I really got angry when I saw Katie's baby sweater on that pup. That was the very first sweater I ever bought for Katie. I had it custom made according to her measurements when I first brought her home at 5 months old. It's a light pink sweater and it says "Mommy's Girl" in dark pink. That probaly did fuel my anger more then seeing the puppy itself. The poor little pup was probably frightened by my yelling. I feel so bad now for reacting that way but I just think it was a little too much and too soon. My Katie has only been gone 2 weeks and 1 day -- not a long time at all.

[chachi]

Oh Jen you really have been through alot in a short time. That was really sweet what your husband did but i understand your reaction. Hopefully you and he can go and pick out a pup together. It wont replace your precious Katie but puppies do have a way of mending broken hearts. Good luck we are all pulling for you!

[y0rkieL0ver]

omg, im sitting here crying...jennifer, i am soooo sorry for both of your losses. you are in such a fragile state, so dont be too hard on yourself about the outburst @ ur hubby, he sounds like an amazing guy and knows what you are going through, im sure he has long since forgiven you. you are in no way whatsoever betraying Katie's memory by getting a new puppy. personally, i think it will help you thru the grieving process. Celebrate the lives of your mother and katie and focus on the positive- you are a great person and petowner<3<3 dont i can only imagine how you feel, and i just want to give u the biggest hug! you have a great husband and furbaby who love you sooo much, so fear not, everything will work out when you make whatever decision you choose. you are in my thoughts

[shelbysmom]

Dear Jen,

We don't know each other but reading your story broke my heart. Anyone that has suffered the loss of a dear pet can relate. AND anyone that has lost their beloved mother can also relate. These losses in 2 days time is more than anyone should have to bear.

While I can't even imagine how you feel, I have suffered grief before and I know one thing that may come with that is wanting to protect oneself from feeling that way again. As you know, you are very fortunate to have Jim there for you. Allow yourself the gifts that this dear man wants to offer. You are not betraying Katie or your Mom by accepting joy back in your life. Both of them would want their Jen to go on living and loving.

We all know how healing puppy kisses can be plus having a little one keeping you busy might be good for you and your husband. Just be sure you give yourself quiet moments each day to heal your heart and deal with your loss.

Best wishes

[teri88]

Jen,
You are breaking my heart! I feel so badly for you. I lost my mom 4 years ago so I know how that feels. When Bandit died everyone thought I was nuts for the way I grieved because we only had him for a month. Well, that didn't matter, he was my baby. I literally could not get out of bed for 2 days. I swore I would never get another puppy. Well, of course we got Tucker. He is wonderful and I love him for who he is. He is not Bandit, and he doesn't replace Bandit in my heart. It's because you loved Katie so much that you honor her by wanting another baby in your life. You do what feels right to you, but know that it is not a case of replacing Katie. I want you to know you are in my prayers and I hope that you do get another puppy because believe it or not, it does help you to heal.

[yorkieusa]

You're right, Jenn, other people don't view the loss of our little one's the same way we do. You are probably more able psychologically to accept the death of your mom because she was older than you were Katie because she was so little, so young, and so dependent on you for all of her care. I also had a double loss in my family before Muffin's death. It really takes the wind out of your sails for awhile, but you realize that life goes on with or without you. You're the same way with Katie's clothes as I was with Muffin's. That is just normal behavior. I did it, too. The truth is that you will grieve for little Katie for a long, long time. I think a puppy (or two ) can only help fill your time and your heart and help little Codie cope with his grief, too. Don't forget that they also suffer with grief. Wishing you lotsa hugs and telling you how lucky you are that Jim loves you so much!

[magnolia]

Jennifer,

First of all, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother. I know first hand what it feels like to lose a parent, having lost my father 20 years ago. Many thoughts and prayers for you and your family during this difficult time. Treasure the memories you hold so very dear of your mother. They will help you through the most lonesome of days.

And please also accept my sympathies on the loss of your precious Katie. As others here have also gone through this pain, I too know the pain of losing a precious, beloved pet. I lost my Katie (aptly named from Scarlett O'Hara from Gone With The Wind) a few years ago. She was my first "baby" and was truly loved and spoiled by our family. I remember crying in the vet's office when she died that I had lost my baby. I had grown so attached to her, my world revolved around that little 5 pound fur-baby (as well as my 2 precious human boys). My husband wanted to get me a new puppy right away but I refused. My thoughts were similar to yours in that I didn't want to replace Katie. But I think my biggest reason for not wanting another dog is I just didn't want to allow myself to get that close to another fur baby. After a few weeks, I decided I was ready to think about another Yorkie and began my "hunt" for the perfect one. Through into this our looking for a house and trying to pack and all, it took me a year to find Gabby, or her to find me We have had Gabby in our lives for the past 8 1/2 years and love her so much. She hasn't taken the place of my Katie but has earned her own space in my heart (one look and she had it!!). Now we've added Gage, our one year old rescue Yorkie, into the mix and my heart is overflowing with happiness.

I guess I could have taken the "short version route" and simply said you will know in your heart when it's time for you to find your fur baby. Katie can never be replaced, you know that and your family knows that. But there is room in your heart for another one....let it be your guide. God bless you and watch over you and yours during your time of grieving and healing. Keep us posted.

Suzi

[chewysmom]

Jenn:

I know you are still so sad and miss Katie so much. When my pug died last year, my husband said he would get me a new dog. I immediately said no, no more dogs but after a few weeks the house was just so empty without that little pitter patter around. When I got Chewy, I was happy in a way that I hadn't been for months, since the loss of my Pike.

No pup will ever take Katie's place, but you have so much love to give a pup and the one you do get will be a lucky one indeed! You will be happy again with another doggie and Codie will again have a playmate. You have a great support in Jim and we are always here for you. Just keep yourself open and you will see that you will be happy again.
XOXOXO

[Juliealfies mum]

Dear Jen

I feel so sad for you, I lost my first yorkie 13 years ago and it was like losing a child as I had had him since I was 16 he was 13 when he passed away. It has taken me all this time to persuade my husband to get another one, and we now have two , and we love them both so much. But Iwill always remember Max, I keep a picture of him by my bedside and have thought of him every day, they never replace each other as they all have such personalities but sometimes a little thing they do brings back little memories which is so sweet. You will know when you are ready ,and although you will miss Katie a puppy will help you grieve . Just rejoice for all the times you had wth Katie, good luck and take care.

[YorkieRose]

Jennifer, when you are crying for Kate, you are crying for your mother also.
Loss is loss...grief is grief.
I didn't cry much when my mother died..I was a young mother and felt I had to hold it all together..I shed "acceptable" tears..a little here and a little there for a few days.

Years later I lost a female Yorkie after a c-section (my only breeding loss) I cried so much I thought I would need to be hospitalized. My doctor said they were tears for all my losses for a number of years..so I cried and finally acknowledged these losses..never apologize for your heart felt grief..the loss of any love is very painful..human or canine.

[bchgirl]

Grief manifasts itself in many ways besides tears. I think some of the grief you feel for Katie is also probably for your mom. I have lost both my parents....my dad just last May. When my dad died, it brought up emotions that I thought were gone (over) regarding my mother. You have double to deal with too. I have screamed at both my husband and my daughter when it really wasn't warranted. It was a little easier before the holidays but now I have some tears over that too. I had Trace when my father died, and some days he was the ONLY bright spot. A puppy may help you, they don't take the pain away, but they manage to wiggle their way into your heart.

Your husband is a sweetheart. Give him a kiss and go just "look" at those fur babies

God bless and I am so sorry about the loss of your mom and Katie,
Deb

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by YorkieRose

Jennifer, when you are crying for Kate, you are crying for your mother also.
Loss is loss...grief is grief.
I didn't cry much when my mother died..I was a young mother and felt I had to hold it all together..I shed "acceptable" tears..a little here and a little there for a few days.

Years later I lost a female Yorkie after a c-section (my only breeding loss) I cried so much I thought I would need to be hospitalized. My doctor said they were tears for all my losses for a number of years..so I cried and finally acknowledged these losses..never apologize for your heart felt grief..the loss of any love is very painful..human or canine.

You said exactly what I was trying to convey in my post.....

[toninm]

Ok, I am going to do this without crying...all of these replys really made me tear up.

You are grieving right now and I am sure that your husband forgives you...you poor thing. Getting another pup will not be replacing Katie. I can tell you loved her very much and I think that your husband is so sweet to try and get you a new puppy. I know that would be what I would want. I think that it is perfectly fine to get another dog. It will help Cody and it will take your mind off of your losses and let you fill voids. NOt replace but help you heal that is all honey!

This will get eaiser.....I promise.

[Sherry Lynn]

You've gotten tons of good advice so I won't try to repeat. Just know that if you need anything I'm not far away. Please take care of yourself.