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01-09-2011, 01:30 PM | #31 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 119
| Quote:
To the OP, I'm so sorry you feel this way. Is there a way you can talk to your husband about the way this made you feel? Would he understand what your baby means to you? I know it's easier said than done, but if you can talk it out (even with a friend if you don't want to talk with your husband yet) maybe it will make you feel better. I know for me, if I talk out my anger/frustration I will look at it more rationally and not blow up at the person I'm upset with. That way I'm coming from a more calm place, and I can explain my feelings better. I know it's hard though, and I hope you can feel better soon.
__________________ Chrissy & Holiday | |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-09-2011, 02:42 PM | #32 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Nebo, NC
Posts: 479
| I'm sorry you had a bad day. He said it out of anger, and bare foot and dog poo WILL make a person angry. I hope tomorrow is better. |
01-09-2011, 03:12 PM | #33 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: west long branch, n.j.
Posts: 4,457
| I'm sorry your husband is making you feel bad. Thank heavens my husband is so easy going. In the past years I can't even count how many times he has stepped in poop or vomit or what ever. Most of the time I'm yelling at him to watch where he walks because he has gotten it on a rug.
__________________ Joan, Bubba and Sissy-BEWARE OF PUPPY MILLS breathe in, breathe out, move on -jb |
01-09-2011, 05:59 PM | #34 | |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Taft, TN, US
Posts: 603
| Quote:
The best part is that after she does her business, she runs to me like the poop is after her, so I know to go get it up before DH sees it It is my observation that the male sex never looks where they are walking. I always try to watch my step, cause stepping in poop would make me say a few choice things too OP, my husband has been less than thrilled having a dog in the house, also. He was raised thinking that dogs belong outside. We have been married 29 years and have had Bonnie 2 years this month. It took me that long to convince him that I "needed" a pet. He says things and acts like he doesn't really care about her, but everyday when I get home - who do you think is sitting in my DH's lap? Yep, bonding. I think he cares more than he would ever admit. | |
01-09-2011, 07:58 PM | #35 |
YT Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 268
| I think you need to evaluate how he acts towards you, not just this particular incident - although I do understand why you're questioning the type of man he is bc of it, trust me, I get it. I don't mean to get too personal and I am not wanting an answer to these questions, but just ask yourself - does he yell at you frequently? Does he constantly get mad over small things? Is he abusive verbally or mentally at all? Or is he just being inconsiderate? Being that she's provided you with so much joy and helped you tackle depression, I would think he'd be loving the dog as much as you do! Like someone else said, not liking dogs doesn't make someone a bad person but if this is important to you then it's most definitely important that your spouse either has the same love for animals or can tolerate the downfalls of being a pet owner without throwing a tantrum. Now, I loooove my puppy more than anything. She is my BABY, but when she does something I'm not fond of (and yes, it's usually poop or pee) I always tell her "You're going to the shelter!" which I OBVIOUSLY do not mean or would ever consider, it's just my way to release that nano second of anger and calm down. Men tend to be angrier than women and won't have as much patience with this sort of thing. I know it's heartbreaking to you that he would say he doesn't care about your puppy - tell him how much she means to you. I'm sure he has something he loves that you don't share the same enthusiasm for, but you respect it bc you love him and wouldn't tell him that something he loves is of no value to you - compare it to that so he can truly grasp the situation and not just think you're being overly sensitive over a puppy. I really do think he just lost his temper bc of a gross incident. I think most of us would say something we didn't mean in the same situation. The only concerning factor to me is that you felt he didn't care about her before this even happened. Good luck and I hope you and the pup get an apology soon. |
01-09-2011, 08:14 PM | #36 |
Donating YT Addict | AWW !! I am so so sorry ): everything will be okay i hope. i pray for you & your babby. i feel like if your husband really loves you he wont make you make that choice.
__________________ Bee's Mommy Bee is going to become a Big Sister August 2012 |
01-09-2011, 08:28 PM | #37 |
YT Addict Join Date: May 2010 Location: south carolina
Posts: 428
| we just got back from the beach and i took my babies with me i had to use pee pads in the motel room i put 2 down and one was near the bathroom i woke up with water running around 4 am asked hubby was he was doing and you guess it he was washing poop off that he had stepped in glad he loves Porscha as much as i do hope everything will be ok for you Pat & porscha
__________________ mom to my lil one Porscha nothing in the world like a yorkie kiss first thing in the morning... now mommy to Mee Ling the most darlin lil ( BIG ) pekingese |
01-09-2011, 08:28 PM | #38 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Chandler, AZ, USA
Posts: 300
| I really feel for you and the position you are in. When I was training Brandy, every time she went poddy I would jump up and down clapping saying good poddy and give her a treat (1/4 of a cheerio.) I did the same thing when she went pooh, except I would say good pooh. Brandy totally understands what it means when I tell her to go poddy or go pooh. She actually goes on command. I don't treat her anymore, but I still say the words and often will jump up and down clapping. I must look like an idiot but it really works. Good Luck! |
01-16-2011, 09:29 PM | #39 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Alabama
Posts: 941
| We call that the happy dance!!! I do the same thing!
__________________ Karen and the Kids Sadie and Beemer |
01-17-2011, 08:15 AM | #40 |
Action Jackson ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Maryland
Posts: 17,814
| I'm sorry -- that must make you feel terrible. My dad is constantly saying "I hate dogs! I'm never getting dogs again after these 2!" after they poop, or are barking, or begging. But I find it funny that he's the first one to be on the floor cuddling with them, or giving them food, or babytalking to them. He's a HUGE dog lover and would help any dog in need. But he probably says 'I hate dogs!!!' atleast twice a week, LOL!
__________________ ~ Brit & Lights! Camera! Jackson! CGC ETD TKP ~ Follow Jackson on Instagram: https://instagram.com/jacksontheterrier |
01-17-2011, 08:37 AM | #41 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 280
| I am really sorry, but I don't think you're wrong to judge your husband's character by how he treats your dog. When you have dogs, there are accidents. Things sometimes get torn up and there is sometimes poop and pee on your carpet. You clean it up and move on. This is all part of dog ownership. The rewards are (IMO) well worth it. There's a woman in my neighborhood who has a dog (which I will call B.) B. is one of those "fighting breed" dogs (I think an Amstaff of some sort). Anyway, B. is a very good dog, but hyper and a bit of a handful. When he was a puppy, he would tear things up in the house and required a lot of attention. At the time, B.'s mom was married. The husband didn't like the dog (even though he was the one who initially wanted the dog) and wasn't really tolerant of B.'s puppy behavioral issues. Finally, the husband one day told B.'s mom that B. had to go. Mom refused to give the dog up and the husband said, "Well, either I leave or the dog leaves." Three years later, B. is still there and B.'s mom is happily divorced. (and B. has calmed down quite a bit and is a wonderful dog). Point of this story is that dog's are a way of life and both spouses have to be committed to what it takes to care for a dog. My parents rescued a dog, which we named Sam, many years ago that was just a mess. Sam was never able to be potty trained and had quite a few health issues. Anyway, my parents both loved him to pieces and were both completely committed to caring for Sam, even if that meant cleaning up potty pads several times a day. Sam passed away last year, and despite all that my parents went through with him, they still miss him terribly. They have gone on to rescue two other dogs and are just as committed to them. If your husband is that opposed to dogs and you love dogs that much, perhaps you need to reevaluate your whole marriage. Marriage is about compromise and maybe he will never like dogs but will learn to not say such horrible things. I don't know much about your specific situation, but I do know that if my partner said something like that to me, I would most likely end the relationship.
__________________ Andrea, Mom to Vinnie, Alex, and Guru |
01-17-2011, 08:38 AM | #42 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A little town south of Chicago
Posts: 4,525
| Dear Lisa, I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how much it is hurting your right now. I want you to go buy your husband a pair of house shoes, ones that would be easy to clean if he steps in poop again. Then write a short note promising him that you will do your best to keep the floors clean and sign it. Stick the note inside one of the slippers and gift wrap them. Say they are a gift from you furbutt. After he opens his gift, sit down with him and tell him what you have told us about your feelings. Even if you have told him before - he doesn't seem to have heard all of it yet. Ask him if he would deny or begrudge you medicine if you were sick. I do hope, like the others that this was just a case of momentary anger but you know from other behaviors if he is the type of man you fear he may be. I think you know the answer already don't you? I wish you luck sweetie. I hope you can feel better real soon. Hugs Lou |
01-17-2011, 09:31 AM | #43 |
♥Luv my Trixie Belle♥ Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 3,010
| Lisa...I'm so sorry you are going through this...but I will tell you that my dh would say dumb things about our first yorkie Biscuit (get rid of that stupid dog etc) when he was not behaving the way dh thought he should..usually barking up a storm....but would sit with him on the couch etc. Well, Biscuit passed away last year and guess who cried ... yep, my dh (not as much as me, but still..) After seeing how devastated I was about losing my dog and how much I missed him, my dh suggested that we adopt another yorkie. That is how Trixie came into our lives. My dh knows that Trixie is a huge part of our life (I also suffer from anxiety/panic attacks) and knows that she has a wonderfully calming effect when I am not feeling so well. Our kids always joke that dad says he doesn't want a dog, but he really really loves her. They think he is just being "a tough guy". He even takes her for walks with our friends goldendoodle. (He will draw the line about the doggie stroller though). I think you need to speak to your dh about how hurt your feelings are and really evaluate how he behaves with the dog. If he is kind towards your pup, then perhaps he is just being a "tough guy' too ....especially after he has a foot full of poop.
__________________ RIP Biscuit My heart belongs to Trixie |
01-17-2011, 09:44 AM | #44 |
YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Knoxville,Tennessee
Posts: 3,073
| Every other day, dh is fussing about any mistakes the babies make. We got married on 12-17-82. I had a puppy before Christmas that year. Unfortunetly he was killed by a car. Years went by before I could get another dog due to living with other people, and an apt. As soon as we moved from the apt, we were at the animal shelter looking for a dog. I have had dogs ever since. Each time dh says no more. He used to be a clean freak, not so much now. We got Gypsy 6 yrs ago. then I sd she needed a playmate so 4 yrs ago came Puff as a gift for dh who wanted a chi, Dh saying that is it, no more. Last yr we got Seymour. I was told again, no more, we have too many. LOL. Saturday we welcomed Harley. If it had not been a chi, dh would have sd no and refused to call about him. I told him it was my birthday present. (it is this wednesday though I pd the rehoming fee of 25.00) After 28 years of marriage, I know how far I can push him. So, no more CL or newspaper classifieds. We are done. Our bed is full and we have a very loving household.
__________________ PAWPRINTS AND DOG HAIR ENHANCE MY PERSONAL STYLE. Last edited by J_is_my_initial; 01-17-2011 at 09:45 AM. |
01-17-2011, 10:08 AM | #45 | |
YT Addict Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Nebo, NC
Posts: 479
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