I guess my husband doesn't love dogs

[POOKY]

So sorry your husband yelled at you. Give him a couple pairs of slipper socks with rubber bottoms and tell him Puppy's sorry, he's in training and he'll get better. Yellling only makes it worse. I know how you feel, my baby is having issues, Daddy's home in a neck brace and a lot is going on. He's feeling my stress and had a few accidents in the house. It's also his first year to deal with the SNOW. It's a work in progress.
Hang in there. Wolfie and Mommy.

[princessbunbun]

WOW! I didn't check the forum for a while, but I came back to report that my poor Princess has been away at "positive training" doggie boot camp in a woman's home for the past week. She'll be there for a total of almost two weeks. I appreciate citygirl123 and beyonce'smom prayers and everyone's wonderful advice so very much! The camp is expensive, but I'm hoping she'll come back with some new found behavioral restraint.

The poop incident really was my husband's breaking point. I know he's a good man, but he just isn't bonding with the dog. She barks at him EVERY TIME he enters a room. I've had her since August and you'd think she'd be used to him by now, but she doesn't care for his "vibe", I guess. I really wish he could find some joy in dog companionship, but he doesn't even pet her (even if I ask). He says "She's cute." sometimes. But that's about it. I can't force him to love animals, I guess. I just don't relate to it, at all. Dogs and cats and even bunnies make me melt with love.

I like the slippers advice. I'm ON that one, for sure. Very good advice. I'll look into an x-pen, but we have a small home built in the 20's - each room is small and I'm afraid it would take up a lot of space. Plus, anything that might make her bark, will instigate more tension in an already tense situation.

My lil girl does help me with anxiety, so he understands that... but the winter is AWFUL for Yorkies in the Northeast!

[kjcmsw]

Originally Posted by roseylovestosho

My boyfriend said the same thing when my Teddy peed on his bed. He wanted to play with him, and when I saw him taking Teddy into his room I told him to watch him...he said "yeah okay got it," and the next thing I know he came back screaming put Teddy in his crate and said "I don't give a #$@% about your dog! He peed on my bed! Clean it!" I was so angry/upset/crying I just looked at Teddy and left to clean it. Because I was angry I blamed him for the mistake since I TOLD HIM to WATCH HIM, he decided to put the dog on the bed and turn away to do something else...of course he was going to have an accident! Well, thankfully the incident is behind us, but in my personal experience I think people are less forgiving about a pet's mistakes if it isn't their own pet. In his mind (and I'm sure in your husband's too) the event in question would have NEVER occurred if "you" did not decide to have a dog in the first place. Personally, if the scenario was reversed and someone else's dog peed on my bed I think I would have been extremely angry except I probably wouldn't have said anything mean because I'm not the type of person to blurt things out when I'm angry, but I probably would have silently said the same thing to myself or in my head. I doubt your husband will "make you" get rid of the dog (if he is anything like my boyfriend, or most people for that matter) I think he just doesn't like to be put in a situation that he sees is not a direct result of his own choices...either way hang in there.

I could put up with someone being upset about the mess on the bed but his words: "clean it" is demanding and superior and is verbal abuse and is unacceptable. When our son was little and often left a few hot wheel cars laying around, my hubby would step on one and it'd hurt and he'd start complaining "those toys need cleaning up" - so I told him if I lived in a place where there was a mess I couldn't tolerate I'd either clean it up myself or move out. He chose to help clean up after that. It's not your total responsibility and he'd be wise to see that.

[chandracz]

very nicely put! my husband was not an animal lover either, but Bailey has grown on him and now he loves him to death HOWEVER he still gets very angry if Bailey misses and tells me to clean it right away. If he's in a good mood he'll do it himself, but that's rare...lol... all in all he loves Bailey but that doesn't take away the fact that he does get mad and say things when he's mad.

Originally Posted by roseylovestosho

My boyfriend said the same thing when my Teddy peed on his bed. He wanted to play with him, and when I saw him taking Teddy into his room I told him to watch him...he said "yeah okay got it," and the next thing I know he came back screaming put Teddy in his crate and said "I don't give a #$@% about your dog! He peed on my bed! Clean it!" I was so angry/upset/crying I just looked at Teddy and left to clean it. Because I was angry I blamed him for the mistake since I TOLD HIM to WATCH HIM, he decided to put the dog on the bed and turn away to do something else...of course he was going to have an accident! Well, thankfully the incident is behind us, but in my personal experience I think people are less forgiving about a pet's mistakes if it isn't their own pet. In his mind (and I'm sure in your husband's too) the event in question would have NEVER occurred if "you" did not decide to have a dog in the first place. Personally, if the scenario was reversed and someone else's dog peed on my bed I think I would have been extremely angry except I probably wouldn't have said anything mean because I'm not the type of person to blurt things out when I'm angry, but I probably would have silently said the same thing to myself or in my head. I doubt your husband will "make you" get rid of the dog (if he is anything like my boyfriend, or most people for that matter) I think he just doesn't like to be put in a situation that he sees is not a direct result of his own choices...either way hang in there.

[Lil Sis]

I am so sorry you are upset. I am sure he is a great person and really did not mean it. To be honest I would not be happy if I stepped in poop-- and if I could blame it on someone else I am sure I would vent.
You have received a lot of good advice. I am for crate training a puppy, with positive reinforcements. I am on dog #4-- and it is not fun but if you hang in there it will work out. One of my guys was my daughter's and she couldn't keep him so he was a bit older when we got him. I ALMOST gave up on him a few times... I don't think he was really trained until he was about 2 (a lot older than most... don't worry). But I would not give one of my kids away so I won't give up on a furkid.

Hey--- if winter is so hard for you -- move near me

Honestly..... good luck, don't give up, TALK to dh when you are not as upset and you both can be calm.

[oliver44]

glad 2 see so many responses for you, i think women are more tolerant of the trouble our babies get into, poop etc, i too love my babies soo much that i never really get mad at them & they have pooped all over, chewed my furniture, favorite shoes, etc, etc. ( they are better behaved each day) but my point is women & women dog lovers especially are pretty tolerant. i would guess your husband does love your pooch just got frustrated when the poop squished between his toes. ha ha. hope things get better for you. sometimes just have to vent

[Deuce]

Yikes! I guess I'm lucky with my bf, I've never had to show him that it's "the dog" that would win a "me or the dog" ultimatum. Just before he left for the states a little over a week ago, he was running around getting his bag all packed up and I think the stress vibes he was putting off put Rizz into "forgetful mode" and Rizz made a mess on the floor (right next to a piddle pad). Bf stepped right into it and got cold soggy socks, I was in the restroom at the time and when I came out I saw him sitting on the floor cleaning his foot off. I was actually suprised at his reaction, he just told me that he put Rizzo in his crate because he made a mess. Me being me started apologizing and cleaning immediately, but he told me to calm down. he knows how happy Rizzo makes me so he makes sure to be cool headed when things like this happen. Which they do. Often.
Are you at the doggy daycamp with your pup? Training is important for both owners and pups, personally I'd say training is more 80% human and 20% dog. I'd even recommend having your husband go to the training with your pup, it'll help them bond which it sounds like they really need.

[butterfly]

Originally Posted by Lou

Dear Lisa,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I know how much it is hurting your right now.

I want you to go buy your husband a pair of house shoes, ones that would be easy to clean if he steps in poop again. Then write a short note promising him that you will do your best to keep the floors clean and sign it. Stick the note inside one of the slippers and gift wrap them. Say they are a gift from you furbutt.

After he opens his gift, sit down with him and tell him what you have told us about your feelings. Even if you have told him before - he doesn't seem to have heard all of it yet.

Ask him if he would deny or begrudge you medicine if you were sick.

I do hope, like the others that this was just a case of momentary anger but you know from other behaviors if he is the type of man you fear he may be. I think you know the answer already don't you?

I wish you luck sweetie. I hope you can feel better real soon.

Hugs
Lou

This was great. A nice way to make him understand that you love him but you are not getting rid of the dog and that you are trying your best.

I have always believed in the positive...'kill em' with kindness' this might make him feel bad for acting like a bully.

[laci32]

Originally Posted by princessbunbun

He made it clear this morning. Just moments ago when he stepped in poop in bare feet. He screamed: "This is a violation of my comfort zone and if you fail to train that dog to poop outside - she has to GO!"

It doesn't bother me what he said/the ultimatum... it's what came after that. I don't give a rat's a$$ about that dog.

I ALWAYS suspected this. I just don't get people who don't love dogs (or other animals for that matter!). As I'm writing this I have tears welling in my eyes. It's a terrible thing to know about your husband and I know that I'm judging his entire character on whether or not he has the capacity to love an animal and this is wrong of me, but I can't seem to separate out my feelings or see things rationally.

This dog means the world to me. I have a very hard time with winters (anxiety attacks / depression) and this little girl has brightened my outlook and lifted me in a way I cannot describe. I call her Princess Prozac because I don't have to take medicine with her in my life.

I'm very upset right now...
-Lisa

I'm sorry you are going through this. I really don't think he hates your fur baby. Just the pooping.His reaction was from from that. Take her outside more often and when she poops out there praise praise praise and a treat for reward. I can understand how you feel for what your babe has added to your life. Have a nice talk with hubby and explain things also tell him that to please be patient as you are working on the training and it takes time.

[butterfly]

Lisa, I know what your winter has been like and little dogs aren't so happy going out to do their business.

I got my new little 'Princess Libby' I call her Libby, in Nov. I live in North Dakota. It is do darned cold here. She was 6 mos old when I got her, so she had only gone on a pee pad. Heck, I don't know if she had ever even been outside, because when we brought her home and put her out she had a ball! She is now over 8 mos old and should be better trained but she has had a late start on any training.

Anyway she is doing fairly well, going outside, but she pees on the pad but has decided that the best place to poop is in a corner in my sewing room! No matter what I do, she wants to poop right there!! Little pooper!

I really am trying with going outside but sometimes with -50* windchill it is just hard sometimes to get her out there.

I am however concerned about your pup and the barking when your husband comes home. She is just trying to get his attention. Can't he just pay a little attention to her? That's just mean. If he'd just pet her a little, I'm sure things would change a lot, for both of them. I just can't understand that kind of behavior.

[chandracz]

I tell you even last night my husband threw my baby up in my face about how we can't sleep together in the same bed because of him. Or if we do sleep in the same bed, he's worried he's going to roll over on him or Bailey will snap at him. I put a call in to Dog Training by Bark Busters so hopefully they can help me with some of these issues.

[celstu1]

I am so very lucky to have met and fell in love with a guy who not only LOVES my boys (it took time) but also tolerates all their mishaps and such. My man LOVES me .... and in that deal is them whom he knows I love more than anything in the world. That means to love me means to love them to him. Now, I have also done things to help his love for them grow. Ive gotten better at training, I got Fletcher fixed when I didn't really want to.... I knew this would make our living situation with them easier for all of us.
He also knows that if he sneaks them bits of food (which he does wayyy more than i do) that he may have to pay the price of that, which might be poop in the house. Overall though, he is wonderful... he rubs them down each morning and takes them for car rides even if it's just to the dump. He takes pics of them for me when he's with them and I'm at work or something so I can see what they are doing and because he knows seeing them during my boring work day will put a smile on my face. I am so lucky and my boys are too, thankfully!!