I guess my husband doesn't love dogs

[SassyAnn101]

I can understand how you are feeling right now. When I got Gizmo (my first yorkie) my husband said either the dog goes or me and my son was going along with the dog. I was younger then so I packed our clothes and Gizmo's things and left. After a week away he called every day, promised to do better if we would come home, and we did. He preteneded to deal with Gizmo and even to love him. At times he would blow up and say bad things about Gizmo only to take it back when he calmed down. When I got Tenci a few years later he blew up again and said I had to choose either the dogs or him. I told him that he could pack his bags. Not too long after that I lost Gizmo, and Tenci was very sick. Later I found out that Tenci had small traces of anti freeze in her blood. Long story short he really hated my babies. I had to choose between them and him. I choose them of course. I left him in 2008, and have not had any regrets for it. I hope your husband was just upset, if he really meant it you can tell by other things he does. Good luck.

[Lizzie07]

Originally Posted by RDB911

People says a lot of things out of anger.
But if this is his true feelings you may want to evaluate your relationship.

For me personally speaking, I will never date/marry anyone who doesn't care for animals. They play a BIG part in my life and if someone can't deal with them it's time to move on.

This pretty much says what I think too. Of course, I'm also single, as I haven't had the luck to meet someone who might love my seven dogs (at times more with fosters) and three cats as much as I do .

I do feel bad you are having this issue.

[Ringo1]

Well, stepping in dog poop in bare feet can definitely bring out the worst in a person!

I have probably said a few choice words myself when that has happened and I love my babies more than anything.

Hopefully, your husband will learn to watch where he is walking with a puppy in the house; you will be able to get your puppy outdoor trained when the weather clears; and everyone will be happy.

Fingers crossed.

[gemy]

Originally Posted by SassyAnn101

I can understand how you are feeling right now. When I got Gizmo (my first yorkie) my husband said either the dog goes or me and my son was going along with the dog. I was younger then so I packed our clothes and Gizmo's things and left. After a week away he called every day, promised to do better if we would come home, and we did. He preteneded to deal with Gizmo and even to love him. At times he would blow up and say bad things about Gizmo only to take it back when he calmed down. When I got Tenci a few years later he blew up again and said I had to choose either the dogs or him. I told him that he could pack his bags. Not too long after that I lost Gizmo, and Tenci was very sick. Later I found out that Tenci had small traces of anti freeze in her blood. Long story short he really hated my babies. I had to choose between them and him. I choose them of course. I left him in 2008, and have not had any regrets for it. I hope your husband was just upset, if he really meant it you can tell by other things he does. Good luck.

Oh My Lord. Antifreeze in blood? I am very glad he is no longer with you

[JeanieK]

It's just really hard to be rational with poop on your foot. I know this is not funny, but I am laughing at the mental picture.

[JeanieK]

Originally Posted by SassyAnn101

I can understand how you are feeling right now. When I got Gizmo (my first yorkie) my husband said either the dog goes or me and my son was going along with the dog. I was younger then so I packed our clothes and Gizmo's things and left. After a week away he called every day, promised to do better if we would come home, and we did. He preteneded to deal with Gizmo and even to love him. At times he would blow up and say bad things about Gizmo only to take it back when he calmed down. When I got Tenci a few years later he blew up again and said I had to choose either the dogs or him. I told him that he could pack his bags. Not too long after that I lost Gizmo, and Tenci was very sick. Later I found out that Tenci had small traces of anti freeze in her blood. Long story short he really hated my babies. I had to choose between them and him. I choose them of course. I left him in 2008, and have not had any regrets for it. I hope your husband was just upset, if he really meant it you can tell by other things he does. Good luck.

That is horrible. It's one thing to dislike a dog, but another to poison them.

[Cha Cha]

If dogs were not in your lives when you got married, or you never really had any reason to discuss them, I can see how this could become a conflict in any relationship. I too hope it was out of anger, but still a very mean thing to say.

After reading your thread and others statments, I guess I feel very fortunate that my DH allows me to have the animals I want. He was not necessarily an animal lover before me met, and we've definitely had our battles over other things, (we've been together 23 years) but he KNOWS attacking the animals in my life are just off limits because they are special to me. He loves the dogs though. I have always had a rule in life, and that is that if someone gives you the ultimatum of a choice, them or something else you love, then that's the point in time you chose the other. No one that loves you would ever make you choose them over something else.

Because I do feel the dogs are really "my" thing, I do take extra caution to be the main caregiver, the one to clean up any messes, training, etc. That way, my DH only has to have the pleasure of giving and receiving their love. But again, he does a good job of taking the responsibility when I am not home. Our Mylee is one of the most challenging dogs I have ever had in every way possible to imagine. But my DH is totally in love and there is nothing that dog can do in his eyes that he would be angry for, or at least say something so mean. But if this were early in our marriage, it may have been more of a problem. So, there is hope and I hope you two can work it out so everyone stays and is happy.

[citygirl123]

Originally Posted by yorkieusa

I hope that was a momentary lapse on his part. Perhaps you should consider an x-pen with a pad in it to keep things on an even keel. You may need to take up poop patrol, too. I wouldn't pay too much heed to what was said in anger. I would use an x-pen and seriously consider poop patrol though. I hope your day gets better.

I was going to suggest an x-pen also when I read your post. When you can't watch your dog, it is a good place for them. I don't overuse mine, but at times it is a good place for Copper to be. If he doesn't potty outside when the weather is bad, I put him in the pen for a while. He has pads in the pen. I made it comfy cozy with a blanket and bed, etc.

My hubby is not a dog lover either. He likes Copper well enough if he is doing what he is supposed to. But, I think he would prefer we didn't have any pets since it inconveniences us taking trips, etc. However, I'm home alone a lot. Copper has helped me through a lot of depression, etc.

I will be thinking of you today. Praying if you don't mind.

[lovespandp]

Originally Posted by princessbunbun

He made it clear this morning. Just moments ago when he stepped in poop in bare feet. He screamed: "This is a violation of my comfort zone and if you fail to train that dog to poop outside - she has to GO!"

It doesn't bother me what he said/the ultimatum... it's what came after that. I don't give a rat's a$$ about that dog.

I ALWAYS suspected this. I just don't get people who don't love dogs (or other animals for that matter!). As I'm writing this I have tears welling in my eyes. It's a terrible thing to know about your husband and I know that I'm judging his entire character on whether or not he has the capacity to love an animal and this is wrong of me, but I can't seem to separate out my feelings or see things rationally.

This dog means the world to me. I have a very hard time with winters (anxiety attacks / depression) and this little girl has brightened my outlook and lifted me in a way I cannot describe. I call her Princess Prozac because I don't have to take medicine with her in my life.

I'm very upset right now...
-Lisa

I'm sorry you are upset, but it is never fun to step in poo! I did that one time when Pnut was a puppy, but even stepping in his poo would never make me say those things.. I think you should sit down and talk to him, tell him how much she means to you... Also you might have to give her more dicipline and start working on training her more, I have to watch Pnut like a hawk!! Sometimes he would have accidents, and DH would step in pee and he would get irratated, but he delt with it. I think if you want to have dogs in your life and this is the way he is going to treat you, you might want to think about your realationship.. Peanut is 3 and I just started really training him, like boot camp style and he is doing so much better!

So its hard to say if he was just mad that he stepped in poo and thats why he said those things or if he really doesnt like dogs, but I think the best thing to do is sit down and talk to him, maybe if you tell him you are going to work with her training more, he will be more into her... Men are something, they are hard to read! Good luck!! I hope the best for you

[deonk1]

Ok... so I'm not the wisest when it comes to relationships, seeing I really haven't been around too long, but Matt and I have been together for 3 years living together for 2 1/2 + of that. Harley came into our lives last year.

Trust me, poop can bring the worst out of someone, and Matt has made his fair share of complaints about Harley, he wanted to go on a 4 month Europe trip when we graduate this year, and sees Harley as a huge obstacle for this, which has caused much arguments over the past 2 years. HOWEVER, deep down there is always the loving man who turns to mush when he sees Harley.

It is my hope that your husband just really didn't appreciate the squishy feeling of barefoot on poop, and that he really loves your baby. When Matt doubts Harley or comments on his training, I always approach it this way. I tell him I know he's my dog, but if we work together training gets done sooner. (ie right now we're working on recall, and Matt needs to start following rules, we followed the same ritual with potty training), then I explain how much Harley has done good things for me (as I too suffer from anxiety and some depression).

Best of luck. Keep us posted.

[tarczely]

Originally Posted by SassyAnn101

I can understand how you are feeling right now. When I got Gizmo (my first yorkie) my husband said either the dog goes or me and my son was going along with the dog. I was younger then so I packed our clothes and Gizmo's things and left. After a week away he called every day, promised to do better if we would come home, and we did. He preteneded to deal with Gizmo and even to love him. At times he would blow up and say bad things about Gizmo only to take it back when he calmed down. When I got Tenci a few years later he blew up again and said I had to choose either the dogs or him. I told him that he could pack his bags. Not too long after that I lost Gizmo, and Tenci was very sick. Later I found out that Tenci had small traces of anti freeze in her blood. Long story short he really hated my babies. I had to choose between them and him. I choose them of course. I left him in 2008, and have not had any regrets for it. I hope your husband was just upset, if he really meant it you can tell by other things he does. Good luck.

omg! that is unbeleivable ...I take it was more then the dogs for this relationship to go south! still he tried to kill your dogs is sick! glad you left him cause I would have too! who needs this in there life.

[salazark]

Originally Posted by princessbunbun

What a beautiful outpouring of support. Thank you all so much. We've had a ton of snow here and I have issues letting her outside because even with two shirts and a sweater she shivers. And that freaks me out because my anxiety attacks are triggered by cold. I am basically aware of her every move throughout the day and she's always by my side... it's only when the snow is SO high or it's so freezing that I allow her to poop in the house. She ALWAYS misses the pee-pee pad with poop but she uses the pad without fail for peeing.

I'm going to read and re-read these posts and take some time to absorb the thoughts here. Thanks for taking the time and showing how much you care.

Hugs, Lisa

Do you actually see her go poop not on the pads? The reason I'm asking is that Sadie did the same thing. She's very private about pooping so we have pads in rooms we don't go in much and that's where she goes. I didn't think she was using the pads because it was always on the floor. One day I saw her going on the pad but nothing came out. As she was trotting away from the pad poop was falling all over the floor. She really thought she was going on the pad but it didn't fall off her hair till she got moving. I haven't figured out how to solve this one. We just pick it up quickly and are thankful that the pee goes on the pad. Oh - and she absolutely will not go poop outside walking on a leash. She is really extremely private about it. The good news is that she goes in rooms that we aren't walking around in much.

[QuickSilver]

Originally Posted by salazark

Do you actually see her go poop not on the pads? The reason I'm asking is that Sadie did the same thing. She's very private about pooping so we have pads in rooms we don't go in much and that's where she goes. I didn't think she was using the pads because it was always on the floor. One day I saw her going on the pad but nothing came out. As she was trotting away from the pad poop was falling all over the floor. She really thought she was going on the pad but it didn't fall off her hair till she got moving. I haven't figured out how to solve this one. We just pick it up quickly and are thankful that the pee goes on the pad. Oh - and she absolutely will not go poop outside walking on a leash. She is really extremely private about it. The good news is that she goes in rooms that we aren't walking around in much.

I have trouble with this too. One thing that can help is diet. If the poop comes out fast, it will fall off as soon as the dog stands up.

I've tried to implement a system where Thor only gets a treat if the poop is on the pad, with mixed success. He understands now that poop off the pad isn't good, and sometimes he'll squat for a couple extra seconds. But every so often, nothing but a good long poop stroll will do.

To the OP: you said you suffer from anxiety. Dogs are GREAT for that. Is it possible that your husbands words are hitting you a little harder than he intended them? As other people have said, if you feed her at the same time every day, she'll probably need to poop about an hour afterward, and you can make sure to xpen her / have her on the pad at that time. Ideally, you will be able teach her to poop on command. I use the command "BM", again, with limited success.

[Ashley V]

He said that probably from anger and didn't mean it. Long story short, Smokey had severe anxiety issues and would constantly have diarrhea no matter what we did and he would smear it everywhere. My husband didn't have a whole lot of patience and I could sense a little resentment towards Smokey. After I figured out what was causing the anxiety, came up with a solution, and training schedule, things got a lot better and Smokey and hubby are very close.

Originally Posted by SassyAnn101

I can understand how you are feeling right now. When I got Gizmo (my first yorkie) my husband said either the dog goes or me and my son was going along with the dog. I was younger then so I packed our clothes and Gizmo's things and left. After a week away he called every day, promised to do better if we would come home, and we did. He preteneded to deal with Gizmo and even to love him. At times he would blow up and say bad things about Gizmo only to take it back when he calmed down. When I got Tenci a few years later he blew up again and said I had to choose either the dogs or him. I told him that he could pack his bags. Not too long after that I lost Gizmo, and Tenci was very sick. Later I found out that Tenci had small traces of anti freeze in her blood. Long story short he really hated my babies. I had to choose between them and him. I choose them of course. I left him in 2008, and have not had any regrets for it. I hope your husband was just upset, if he really meant it you can tell by other things he does. Good luck.

That is awful!!! So glad you got rid of him... poisoning dogs to try to kill them... what would have been next? That would definitely be someone that I could not trust.

[Perrella]

Originally Posted by SassyAnn101

I can understand how you are feeling right now. When I got Gizmo (my first yorkie) my husband said either the dog goes or me and my son was going along with the dog. I was younger then so I packed our clothes and Gizmo's things and left. After a week away he called every day, promised to do better if we would come home, and we did. He preteneded to deal with Gizmo and even to love him. At times he would blow up and say bad things about Gizmo only to take it back when he calmed down. When I got Tenci a few years later he blew up again and said I had to choose either the dogs or him. I told him that he could pack his bags. Not too long after that I lost Gizmo, and Tenci was very sick. Later I found out that Tenci had small traces of anti freeze in her blood. Long story short he really hated my babies. I had to choose between them and him. I choose them of course. I left him in 2008, and have not had any regrets for it. I hope your husband was just upset, if he really meant it you can tell by other things he does. Good luck.

That horrible....my heart just broke for you reading this. Bless your heart, I can't even imagine going throught that..........but that I would have done the samething! My husband knows...don't call me out on my dog, he would lose and has said that to others, lol. So. lucky for him. he loves Zhoie butt too.