Need Advice

[maxs_momma]

Originally Posted by Chance

You might suggest they get a different dog, one that would be theirs together. Maybe the BF will jump on that and leave Bella alone.

Oh he wants a different dog he is looking to get a english bulldog and my daughter wants Bella around it. I don't know much about those types of dogs but that scares me the thought of her being around a dog like that

[Karrie]

Wow, this is a tough one.

Its hard for us to tell you what to do. In my eyes, your daughter made a deal with you and she broke the deal by not visiting and not paying. The dog is now yours - period.

[TLC]

I think that if all the Vet bills are in your name, etc...and you have been caring for her etc...then I don't think they really have the right for her anymore.

This is awful Poor Bella has feelings too and this is not right for them to do to her I wouldn't let them have her

P.S. What kind of dog is she?

[TLC]

I was just remembering when there was an article posted about a lost Yorkie and who ever found her called the chip company and changed all the info to theirs, and when the original owners found out who had her, they had to go to court bc the chip info was the ppl that found her.

So since Bella's chip info is yours, I'd say she is yours.

You really need to try and reason with your daughter. Bella is not a stuffed animal and this is stressful to her. Tell your daughter when she is trough with school and has a job and her own place that you will help her fet a new dog if she is still interested, but that's you really have to put your foot down on this instance.

[ycats]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this! How selfish our children can sometimes be! I have two skin babies and sometimes they only think about their feelings! I hope everything works out for you and Bella.

[roxies_mom]

I have a question for you. Who is paying for DD's college? Where does she live when she's not at school? Does she have a car? If so who paid for that or who's name is it in? If she has a car I'm assuming she has to insure it and buy gas? I have kids this age. They think they're so independant and in charge but usaully on Mom and/or Dad's dime. I'm sure being her Mom you have some pull somehow. How would she feel if you would have dumped her here and there as a helpless innocent child especially with people she didn't like or barely know? She's surely got some compassion in her bones. Right now she's just fighting you to fight you.

[yorkiesmiles]

Bella is a yorkie & she may be just a bit older than Mary's Max - they have been raised together. Correct me if I'm wrong Mary.

I think anyone would say she is your dog. Your daughter never paid anything for her. She was a gift from her former boyfriend. I would say she gifted her to you when she left you with all the bills & expenses. Possession is also 9/10ths of the law. You've got the other percent more than handled with all the bills you've paid.

I would say don't let her go with your dd - she is what 18 or 19? This boyfriend probably isn't going to last either. But you want your relationship with your daughter to last. Is there anyone you could get to mediate the situation with you & your daughter? I think you need to get this resolved once and for all & get it in black & white. Someday 5 yrs or so from now when your dd has proven to you she is a responsible adult & thru school maybe you will be able to with a happy heart give Bella to her

Even the vet may be able to help you. Tell your dd that for her to start taking Bella - she will have to go with you to the vet & discuss Bella's need & care. Give the vet a heads up - and let your daughter pay for the office call!

[maxs_momma]

You are right Bella is a yorkie she is a month younger than Max and 2 months younger than Sam.

For the one who asked she does have a car one that we sold to her for like 1/8 the value of the car not to mention the money was given to her by my parents to buy the car. We have been paying for her Ins. only because we were trying to help because she is in school.
We are paying for what her scholarships dont and she has a job to pay her gas.

She moved in with her boyfriend back in Sept. of last year only a month after starting school. I honestly believe that it is him pushing her to get Bella (he is a very controling person). Before him she never ask to see her at all and even in the beginning of being with him she never asked or came to see her. It has only been the last two weekends that she has asked. I have no problem with late when she is on her feet and truly on her own getting her another dog but I just cannot take Bella away from the only home she has ever known I do everything for her including shaving her little butt lol. She has became my little angel baby and it kills me to see her hurt at all and I feel like that is what would happen if she is put in that spot again she will be hurt

[TLC]

I think you need to express your feelings and express the pain old truth.
And this is a new bf right, he didn't buy Bella, so he really has no say...You need to explain from the beginning, all the money and all the care you laid out, and how this is not right and you will not let Bella be stressed or hurt. She is happy with you at your home, she gets to have play time and company with the other dogs at your house, and that's that....everyone is a bonded family at your home - she can not simply take and not take when she pleases when she grows up, she can get another pet and care for that pet from the beginning (like you did for Bella). Your daughter needs to focus on getting thru college right now and getting a good job after that. The care she would give Bella right now would be half-ass and that's not fair to Bella, her or YOU....

[YoRkiE Te aMo]

Just tell them to go out have fun what do they want to be tied down with a dog and all the bills.... who needs a dog when u have a boyfriend to entertain u and forget about little Bella we love her and she is staying with us ...u may have gotten her but u left her behind with us and now we can not let her go ..and if all else fails just do not make urself available with Bella...summer is coming and maybe they should do some travelling her and the boyfriend places to see ..things to do ...and forget about that little Bella shes at the right place right there with u

[chestermama]

You have been taking care of this dog for everything for this long, I think it is best for the dog to be where it is properly cared for. She wants the dog when it is convenient for her it sounds like. This puts the dog under stress which is not good.

[LilMissy]

If she hasn't been paying to feed and care for that dog, then I wouldn't consider it hers.

When I was 19, I had a lab-cross. There came a time that I couldn't find a home to rent while having her. I brought her to my Mom asking if she'd help me. My Mom did, but I paid EVERY penny of her food and vet bills. I also went to my Mom's house to walk her. Because of all that, my Mom had no problems giving her back to me once I was settled into my new place 8 months later. There is no way that I would have wanted my Mom paying for my dog to live. She was my baby and it killed me to have her living there for those few months. I still wanted the responsibility of caring for her financially, and by visiting her regularly and taking her for walks. It doesn't sound like your daughter wants any of that. I think that you need to have a serious talk with your daughter about what is best for Bella. Good Luck!

[Amoureux]

As the mother of three grown up daughters I can only tell you what I would do and in my opinion there would not even be a debate about it. The puppy stays right where she is, with you. As a poster said here before, YOU are the pack leader of both. Hard as it may be you have to act on behalf of the one that can not talk.

[Jemma]

Pack mom to 4 kids. My answer NO. I would simply say, do you really have the time for her. Can you afford the vet bills, the food. I would say if you can afford all of that then I'm sure you can pay for your own auto insurance. Works for her gas?
Is the Yorkie baby registered in your daughters name?? All I can say is yeaaaa for you having her micro-chipped in YOUR name and address.
Sometimes kids can be nasty as all heck and think of only what THEY want. Tell your daughter maybe she should think about what is best for that little baby.
Please keep us updated. I really hope this works out in that baby's favor.

[maxs_momma]

Originally Posted by Jemma

Pack mom to 4 kids. My answer NO. I would simply say, do you really have the time for her. Can you afford the vet bills, the food. I would say if you can afford all of that then I'm sure you can pay for your own auto insurance. Works for her gas?
Is the Yorkie baby registered in your daughters name?? All I can say is yeaaaa for you having her micro-chipped in YOUR name and address.
Sometimes kids can be nasty as all heck and think of only what THEY want. Tell your daughter maybe she should think about what is best for that little baby.
Please keep us updated. I really hope this works out in that baby's favor.

Yes she works on the weekends her around home so she will have extra spending money for things like gas and cell phone she averages 400 a month doing that.

And YES I did have her micro-chipped and it is under MY NAME . She took her once and she thought she had lost her. I wasn't taking any chances so I went and had her chipped at the local humane society. Also she is registered under MY NAME and address .

You are soooooooo right since the girl was 12 years old it has always been about what SHE wants So sad to I mean I love her but I can't stand to be around her anymore . I really hate feeling that way but she cares about no one but herself. I can remember when I was eight months pregnant with my now 6 year old son I was in a pretty bad car accident. Well my sis in law went to my house to get the kids off the bus for me and she told them your mom has been in a pretty bad car accident she is at the hospital now and your dad will call as soon as there is news. Well you know what the first thing was my daughter said "Uh i have cheer practice today who is going to take me now?" Yeah I was floored when my sis in law told that hurt me so bad that all she was worried about was her cheer practice not me or her baby brother but she was worried about herself and missing her practice. That is something that to this day still hurts to think about and also makes me feel like OMG what did I do so wrong to have a kid like that. The really sad thing is here she is now 19 years old and still the same way .

I am calling around today while I am at work to see what I can find out about what rights I have legally with Bella. Hubby said once I find out if we legally have a right to keep her that he is going to have a little chat with her since she doesn't seem to want to listen to me.

Again I want to really thank you all for the moral support you cannot imagine how much it means to me.

Hugs,
Mary