Need Advice - Page 5 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

lgoodall · 03-30-2009, 06:46 PM

Use the sherriff, an attorney, or whatever means neccessary to keep the little Yorkie. It's not "just a family matter" when the safety and welfare of a precious little dog is at stake. Your daughter isn't mature enough to take care of a flea. I have daughters too, and I know how they can be. She may be furious at you for awhile, but she'll eventually come around. She needs you too much. It does sound like the boyfriend is a control freak. If he likes larger dogs, in no way will they keep YOUR little yorkie. There's no telling where the poor thing might end up if they were to take
him. Besides, they've already mistreated him. That won't change.
Tucker's Mom

ldvpool7 · 03-30-2009, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amoureux

As the mother of three grown up daughters I can only tell you what I would do and in my opinion there would not even be a debate about it. The puppy stays right where she is, with you. As a poster said here before, YOU are the pack leader of both. Hard as it may be you have to act on behalf of the one that can not talk.

You are the pack leader of both. No bargains, no discussions. BELEIVE ME I AM SPEAKING FROM THE HEART. I do know what you are going through. God bless me I have a 24 and 28 year old. They are so much smarter then me, I cant believe I got them this far. A pet is not much different then a child. If you the adult are not comfortable with the kids taking the dog, you must listen to your inner voice the dog stays with you. Your daughter will be furious with you for awhile.....but she will come around. You dont want to live with shoulda coulda woulda...why did I let them take Bella.

Good luck. DV

ldvpool7 · 03-30-2009, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvfla

Daughters will bully moms...have your husband put the hammer down. I don't know your daughter but it sounds to me like Bella would make her & 'boyfried' into a little 'family'. KIDS!!!!! ARRGGGG!!!!!

For sure! Right on time for Dad to say enough. The dog stays here. You too go on have a good time.

Mom2Lulu · 03-30-2009, 07:39 PM

If the boyfriend is as controlling as you think he is, then Bella is a reminder of your daughter's ex-boyfriend, and he may be wanting to rid himself of that reminder...controlling people do some crazy things. For that reason alone, I would not let her take Bella.

Bella belongs to you. There is no room for discussion on this. Stand firm and do not feel like you have to "explain" ANYTHING to her. You do not have to PROVE Bella is yours. She just is.

My son brought home a mixed pit pup. I wasn't happy about it, but acquiesed. I won't make that mistake again. The dog made a wasteland out of my backyard, and I am an avid gardener, so that was particularly difficult for me. Additionally, he was on a lead staked in the yard, because we don't have a fenced in back yard. I hate staking a dog. I also had 3 chickens, who were my pets. I came home one day from running errands and the dog had wriggled out of his collar, gotten loose and broke into my chicken pen. He killed my beloved Jasmine, and injured Dumpling. I was devastated. There were feathers all over my yard. I called my son, 17, and told him to come get the dog. It had to go. If he couldn't find a home for it, I could take him to a no kill shelter. I am a real softy, but on this, MY needs came first. He tried to procrastinate and even got his father (my ex) involved. His father told him he would take the dog, then a week later backed out, and told ds he would help him build a pen for the dog at my house. I did not relent. I gave him a time limit, and told him if his dad told him he would take the dog, then he needs to man up and follow through on what he said. The dog is now with his dad.

I am so sick of people not taking responsibility for their actions. I have learned with my children that sometimes the best lessons are the ones they learn the hard way.

You know, it is OKAY that you want to keep Bella because you have grown to love her and have been her caregiver. You need to tell your daughter that her irresponsibility over the last 15 months where Bella is concerned (and a hit or miss bag of dog food doesn't count) has made her unqualified to take care of Bella. And, you, as a mother are qualified to make that judgement.

Now, about this whole baby thing. If you do not put your foot down with Bella, you can bet the next thing that will be dumped on you is a baby. If you look at it that way, the decision is easy. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's the way I see it.

Jemma · 03-31-2009, 12:38 PM

Is the dog registered to your daughter? If not, you need no lawyer, police or anyone else. She's yours. Hey Mary, as tough as it is, and it always is when we love our kids, this time you really need to say No, and follow it immediately with the whys. Then it's end of subject. Maybe this will be the first time in her life that she simply isn't going to get what she wants. This is your time now Mama. And it's time you came out a winner, don't you think? wink wink

roxies_mom · 03-31-2009, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jemma

Is the dog registered to your daughter? If not, you need no lawyer, police or anyone else. She's yours. Hey Mary, as tough as it is, and it always is when we love our kids, this time you really need to say No, and follow it immediately with the whys. Then it's end of subject. Maybe this will be the first time in her life that she simply isn't going to get what she wants. This is your time now Mama. And it's time you came out a winner, don't you think? wink wink

cinigee · 03-31-2009, 01:24 PM

I agree with the others, I wouldn't let that little one out of my site. It is your baby and your responsibility. Protect that little one at all costs.

maxs_momma · 04-01-2009, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jemma

Is the dog registered to your daughter? If not, you need no lawyer, police or anyone else. She's yours. Hey Mary, as tough as it is, and it always is when we love our kids, this time you really need to say No, and follow it immediately with the whys. Then it's end of subject. Maybe this will be the first time in her life that she simply isn't going to get what she wants. This is your time now Mama. And it's time you came out a winner, don't you think? wink wink

She is akc registered under my name and address and she is also micro-chipped under my name and address.

I have been told that in Indiana pets are considered personal property and that only a judge could decide if she has "abandoned" her. So now I know she would have to take me to court to fight for her.

Lorraine · 04-01-2009, 06:51 AM

I am so glad you have her and have actually rescued this little girl. So now you can enjoy your little Yorkie as she is yours.

maxs_momma · 04-01-2009, 06:56 AM

So do you all think with everything in my name like the akc papers and the micro-chip that ownership won't be a issue? I sure hope so because that would be great!

Lorraine · 04-01-2009, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maxs_momma

So do you all think with everything in my name like the akc papers and the micro-chip that ownership won't be a issue? I sure hope so because that would be great!

Absolutely.

maxs_momma · 04-01-2009, 07:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorraine

Absolutely.

YAY!!!!!! Feeling better already!

megansmomma · 04-01-2009, 07:19 AM

I guess I am going to jump into this one

I have 2 "adult" children just about the same age as your daughter so I know exactly were you are coming from. Your daughter has acted irresponsible in for the well being of "her" puppy. Do not be a softy and give in to her. The pup is registered to you, microchipped to you, and you have paid the vet bills and taken care of it for months. She has sadly acted irresponsible for the care of her pet for a very long time. I would hands down tell her she was not getting this dog out of your house. She has a lot of growing up to do before she can be considered responsible for another living creature and you have a responsibility to put your foot down and just tell her NO! It is amazing how just because they graduate from HS and go on to college they all of a sudden think they have a right to being considered responsible adults.

Being responsible comes from your own personal actions and not from a birthday.

Just tell her NO, like you did when she was 5 and wanted that pony!

She will live and learn you will see. You might feel really bad now but in your heart you know you are doing the right thing for all involved or you would not have come back to YT for support. You knew when you came here what the answer you would get would be and now take that and run with it! Put you foot down~MOM!

maxs_momma · 04-01-2009, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by megansmomma

I guess I am going to jump into this one

I have 2 "adult" children just about the same age as your daughter so I know exactly were you are coming from. Your daughter has acted irresponsible in for the well being of "her" puppy. Do not be a softy and give in to her. The pup is registered to you, microchipped to you, and you have paid the vet bills and taken care of it for months. She has sadly acted irresponsible for the care of her pet for a very long time. I would hands down tell her she was not getting this dog out of your house. She has a lot of growing up to do before she can be considered responsible for another living creature and you have a responsibility to put your foot down and just tell her NO! It is amazing how just because they graduate from HS and go on to college they all of a sudden think they have a right to being considered responsible adults.

Being responsible comes from your own personal actions and not from a birthday.

Just tell her NO, like you did when she was 5 and wanted that pony!

She will live and learn you will see. You might feel really bad now but in your heart you know you are doing the right thing for all involved or you would not have come back to YT for support. You knew when you came here what the answer you would get would be and now take that and run with it! Put you foot down~MOM!

I think I am gonna do one better I am gonna let her dad tell her no lol. She won't listen to me so maybe she will listen to him.

I told her no and she just ignored me and said well I will be there to get her this weekend.

Conjure_Girl · 04-01-2009, 08:45 AM

Hi all, I am new here, so forgive me if I am not following a specific protocol.

My puppy is 13 weeks old, and I got her only 4 days ago. So far she's been great.
I am wondering about tips regarding cleaning her eyes. I read somewhere about using a wet washcloth. My husband and I tried it, but it doesn't work very well.

Thanks

03-30-2009, 07:39 PM	#64
Mom2Lulu Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 74	If the boyfriend is as controlling as you think he is, then Bella is a reminder of your daughter's ex-boyfriend, and he may be wanting to rid himself of that reminder...controlling people do some crazy things. For that reason alone, I would not let her take Bella. Bella belongs to you. There is no room for discussion on this. Stand firm and do not feel like you have to "explain" ANYTHING to her. You do not have to PROVE Bella is yours. She just is. My son brought home a mixed pit pup. I wasn't happy about it, but acquiesed. I won't make that mistake again. The dog made a wasteland out of my backyard, and I am an avid gardener, so that was particularly difficult for me. Additionally, he was on a lead staked in the yard, because we don't have a fenced in back yard. I hate staking a dog. I also had 3 chickens, who were my pets. I came home one day from running errands and the dog had wriggled out of his collar, gotten loose and broke into my chicken pen. He killed my beloved Jasmine, and injured Dumpling. I was devastated. There were feathers all over my yard. I called my son, 17, and told him to come get the dog. It had to go. If he couldn't find a home for it, I could take him to a no kill shelter. I am a real softy, but on this, MY needs came first. He tried to procrastinate and even got his father (my ex) involved. His father told him he would take the dog, then a week later backed out, and told ds he would help him build a pen for the dog at my house. I did not relent. I gave him a time limit, and told him if his dad told him he would take the dog, then he needs to man up and follow through on what he said. The dog is now with his dad. I am so sick of people not taking responsibility for their actions. I have learned with my children that sometimes the best lessons are the ones they learn the hard way. You know, it is OKAY that you want to keep Bella because you have grown to love her and have been her caregiver. You need to tell your daughter that her irresponsibility over the last 15 months where Bella is concerned (and a hit or miss bag of dog food doesn't count) has made her unqualified to take care of Bella. And, you, as a mother are qualified to make that judgement. Now, about this whole baby thing. If you do not put your foot down with Bella, you can bet the next thing that will be dumped on you is a baby. If you look at it that way, the decision is easy. Sorry to be so blunt, but that's the way I see it. __________________ Live, Laugh, Love!

03-31-2009, 12:38 PM	#65
Jemma Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: NJ Posts: 838	Mary Is the dog registered to your daughter? If not, you need no lawyer, police or anyone else. She's yours. Hey Mary, as tough as it is, and it always is when we love our kids, this time you really need to say No, and follow it immediately with the whys. Then it's end of subject. Maybe this will be the first time in her life that she simply isn't going to get what she wants. This is your time now Mama. And it's time you came out a winner, don't you think? wink wink

04-01-2009, 06:51 AM	#69
Lorraine Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Abbotsford, BC Posts: 2,060	I am so glad you have her and have actually rescued this little girl. So now you can enjoy your little Yorkie as she is yours. __________________ Lorraine www.loribenyorkies.com Canada

04-01-2009, 06:56 AM	#70
maxs_momma Living life with yorkies! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Indiana Posts: 1,722	So do you all think with everything in my name like the akc papers and the micro-chip that ownership won't be a issue? I sure hope so because that would be great! __________________ Skeeta&Bella Max & Sam member's of the little gentlemens club R.I.P my little Chiquita Words can be like weapons so please be kind when you post

04-01-2009, 07:19 AM	#73
megansmomma Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: S. W. Suburbs of Chicago, IL Posts: 12,235	I guess I am going to jump into this one I have 2 "adult" children just about the same age as your daughter so I know exactly were you are coming from. Your daughter has acted irresponsible in for the well being of "her" puppy. Do not be a softy and give in to her. The pup is registered to you, microchipped to you, and you have paid the vet bills and taken care of it for months. She has sadly acted irresponsible for the care of her pet for a very long time. I would hands down tell her she was not getting this dog out of your house. She has a lot of growing up to do before she can be considered responsible for another living creature and you have a responsibility to put your foot down and just tell her NO! It is amazing how just because they graduate from HS and go on to college they all of a sudden think they have a right to being considered responsible adults. Being responsible comes from your own personal actions and not from a birthday. Just tell her NO, like you did when she was 5 and wanted that pony! She will live and learn you will see. You might feel really bad now but in your heart you know you are doing the right thing for all involved or you would not have come back to YT for support. You knew when you came here what the answer you would get would be and now take that and run with it! Put you foot down~MOM! __________________ “Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.” Mark Twain

03-30-2009, 06:46 PM	#61
lgoodall YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Tuscaloosa, Alabama Posts: 260	Use the sherriff, an attorney, or whatever means neccessary to keep the little Yorkie. It's not "just a family matter" when the safety and welfare of a precious little dog is at stake. Your daughter isn't mature enough to take care of a flea. I have daughters too, and I know how they can be. She may be furious at you for awhile, but she'll eventually come around. She needs you too much. It does sound like the boyfriend is a control freak. If he likes larger dogs, in no way will they keep YOUR little yorkie. There's no telling where the poor thing might end up if they were to take him. Besides, they've already mistreated him. That won't change. Tucker's Mom

03-31-2009, 01:24 PM	#67
cinigee Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Ardmore, Ok. Posts: 62	I agree with the others, I wouldn't let that little one out of my site. It is your baby and your responsibility. Protect that little one at all costs.

04-01-2009, 08:45 AM	#75
Conjure_Girl Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Oakland, CA, USA Posts: 153 Blog Entries: 3	A New Question — cleaning my puppy's eyes Hi all, I am new here, so forgive me if I am not following a specific protocol. My puppy is 13 weeks old, and I got her only 4 days ago. So far she's been great. I am wondering about tips regarding cleaning her eyes. I read somewhere about using a wet washcloth. My husband and I tried it, but it doesn't work very well. Thanks