6+ years old, had it up to here - need help.

[Luvdogs2]

Ok, first off I'm going to apologize for venting through this at times, but I'm at whits end.

I've been seeing my now fiance for a few years and when I first met her and met the dog, I played with it and looked forward to seeing both my girl and her dog. It didn't take long before I wanted nothing to do with the dog - when you hear about how she messed in the cage or on the floor a few times a week, it gets pretty old.

The guy she was seeing before I started dating her claimed that his biggest problem was because of the dog...for what that is worth.

Ok, here's the story, I'm a full time student of Mechanical Engineering, she is a full time nurse also studying for her bachelors in nursing. We are both graduating soon, we are both plus and minus 30 years old. I come from a farm, have had 6 dogs through the years and I've trained each and every one of them with mountains of success. Fiance - been around a few dogs, this one in discussion is her first and it knows how to do a few tricks, but can't be let out of sight because the moment she does, she's tearing something up, jumping on the table, crapping or peeing on the floor/bed/wherever she can do it.

I now live with the fiance and I'm always gone for school and work, so the dog does go into the crate quite a bit. One thing is for certain, I'm not babysitting the darn thing while I'm home and studying, so she does sit in the crate while I'm reading and can't devote time to her. When fiance comes home and the dog messes in the cage, I GET THE HEAT! I finally had enough and started a feeding schedule and got rid of the auto feeder on the floor. Dog eats after we do (Alphas eat first) at noon and midnight when fiance gets home.

Dog is messing in the cage more than ever now... Let me explain why I believe so.

Fiance, feeds her about 1/3 to 1/2 cup of food in one sitting (in my opinion, too much for an adult yorkie, but I get "she's hungry and you want to starve her") between noon and 2, when she goes to work. She will run her outside for a short bit and the dog will pee, but not crap. Then she goes in the crate for 8 hours and there is a 50/50 shot whether the dog craps or not in the cage.

My thoughts - when somebody eats, what do they typically do a few hours later? But apparently I don't know what I'm doing here. I say feed her between 10am and noon every day and take her outside at 2 and stay out there for a half hour if needed so she does her thing until she gets into a cycle.

I've tried to explain things to the fiance a number of times, but I get the rolling of the eyes, the "I know" and all of the defensive arguments a person can think of. I've even gotten the "I don't have time...." - which my response of "if you don't have the time, you should find her a home with somebody that does have the time" didn't go over well.

I've talked to my mother/father about this - Dad has even commented about how this dog is going to be a problem between us.

Now, let's also get into the darn thing has bitten me 3 times now. I come from a family where if the dog bits, the dog leaves. I have shown infinite tolerance on this subject, but I have a great concern on having kids in the future with this dog here. I've asked about what happens if the dog bites a kid and I get "well, it depends on what the kid does..." I think that is absurd BS and if this animal harms my future baby or toddler....a great disturbance will be felt in the puppy force (Star Wars fan here).

Mom says if you have a serious concern, it should find a new home before a baby comes into the home - and I agree.

Now, funny part (for you all) - it normally has free reign of the bedroom at night when the fiance is sleeping and I'm out of town working. When I am home, it goes in the kennel at night because the darn thing will sneak attack and lick me in my mouth when I'm unconscious and don't have a closed mouth. I've learned my lesson after the second time. The reason I bring this up, the freaking dog will growl and show it's teeth to me when I walk in or walk by the kennel in the bedroom. Not cool.

I've never hurt, hit or done anything violent to the fiance - however, dog got a good whooping for the last bite....(it was open hand, no kicking but some side swipe shots across the nose and a LOT of yelling).

If this dog doesn't shape up, I'm not letting it into our house when we get married and I find a job in the Engineering field. I'll repeat that....If the dog doesn't get it together, she will not be welcome in our home.

Can anyone help?

[gemy]

Wow, I certainly hear your frustration. But to be blunt, I find this situation very very sad, for all concerned; but particularly this dog. It also sounds like you have a good bit to work out with this girlfriend of yours. For example the different attitude you have on biting, and children, and btw I agree with you, biting is totally unacceptable behaviour no matter what size the dog is. If you have tried all the techniques that you know to eliminate this behaviour, then I strongly suggest you get a trainer into your house, to help you solve this problem. There is no MAGIC solution. There is only your effort to find the way to discipline, consistenly, persistently, and calmly. Reward for the good behaviour. If this dog growls and snaps at you, it's crate time, or a time out. It sounds like to me that this 6yr old dog has gotten away with a lot of bad behaviour over the years. That is the owners fault, and not the dog!.
I've been trying to figure out from your posting, just when anyone is at home. From what you've written, it does sure seem like this dog doesn't get much exercise or time and attention. A bored and unexercised dog, is as you know much more likely to act out.

In terms of food my 6.5 lb boy gets 1/3 c of food a day, and small amts of training rewards, when we are out for walks and during obedience training.

In terms of pooing and peeing in the house and crate, common sense tells you that you can't crate a dog after feeding for 8plus hours and not expect "accidents" in the crate. Get an Xpen for her, bed in one area, peepads in another area. How about getting in a dog walker to give this dog some exercise and an opportunity to eliminate outside.

And you are absolutely right this dog deserves a better life, than the one she is living right now. If you two can't give this to her, please surrender her to a reputable rescue.

[Deuce]

Please contact this rescue group, they can find a suitable home for your pup:
United Yorkie Rescue - A 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Yorkshire Terrier Rescue Organization
A yorkie will not trust you if you hit/yell or get angry with it, they are smart dogs and know better. Maybe your fiance's ex bf hit the poor girl as well, and that is why she is not trusting of you, she may have fear in her because of past experiences with men. If she is causing this much conflict between you two she should be allowed to find herself a new home with people who are compassionate of this breed, and will work with her to find the solution to whatever is causing these problems.
Graduate school is a lot of work, as is working towards your bachelors, you fiance needs to see that she may not have enough time for this little girl and every dog deserves a family/home where she is the center of attention or at least gets enough exercise and attention so they don't have to act out to get the attention they crave.
Please, for the dogs sake, contact a rescue so she can be placed in a home where the people have the time to train her properly, which at her age will take a while.

[yorkielady06]

First as Gail said I do hear your frustration and I do believe that YOU were out of hand by striking the dog!! Regardless of her behavior VIOLENCE from either side is wrong, should you be struck for striking her?? I would even venture further to ask you, if this were a human child and it was biting, would you strike it?? I cannot even believe you tried to justify that.
I am sure you do not like this answer from me and you can choose to ignore me, however I have over 22 years of dog experience. I have taken in rescues that were biters and was able to rehab most of them, and not just Yorkies. Your girlfriend is also a problem. This poor dog has been stuck in a crate for hours. Have either of you tried an xpen? How about scheduled walks and feeding times? Dog sitters? Dog daycare? Trainers? Basic obedience classes? A dog is a commitment and with that commitment comes lots of responsibility.
You and your girlfriend should be on the same page with discipline first and foremost with this dog. Because if you cannot agree with parenting a dog, imagine what it will be like with a human child??
I know this seems harsh but for the sake of this poor dog please find her a reputable rescue so that she can learn to trust again and have a brighter future....

[107barney]

I had not one but TWO puppies while I was a law student. Grad school is 100x more demanding than college and I was a science major there so I was not taking easy courses. I find your post to be full of frustration but also excuses - you two simply don't want to do what is needed for the dog that has become a pain in your butts. Maybe you should turn the dog over to a loving home willing to do the right things by the dog. You're both college educated soon-to-be-professionals that should know better than to mistreat an animal by causing it to have fear and isolation while you two get on with your day. Sad.

[yorkieusa]

Contact this group. It is right there in Peoria, where you live:

Dog Adoption and Dog Rescue --- Peoria, Illinois

It sounds to me that this poor little yorkie spends the majority of her life in a crate. How sad that makes me. It seems like such a sad life with little or no positive attention and exercise.

Does anyone ever take her for nice, long walks?

Does anyone ever take her to a dog park or any social interaction with other people and dogs?

Biting is unacceptable, however, I can only wonder what has brought about this kind of reaction. This little yorkie IS reacting to her situation, I believe. You say you have trained dogs successfully, then you should already know that hitting or striking any dog, especially one so small, is totally unacceptable as a training technique.

An ex-pen is a much better alternative with the bed at one end, food and water, and piddle pads at the other end.

I really feel sorry for this little dog. It sounds like such a pitiful life for her to me. It doesn't sound like much of a life at all, to be truthful. That is why I recommend that you talk your girlfriend into surrendering this little one to a rescue. They would be able to foster this little girl for awhile to see how she acts in the foster home and then could place her in a home where she would be treated like the little princess she is and would get the required attention and exercise that she needs. This whole situation just makes me want to cry. It's really very sad.

[Ladymom]

This is a lose/lose situation for everyone involved, especially the poor dog. I agree with the other posters. Contact a Yorkie rescue.

I hope the two of you think long and hard before you decide to have a child. If you have conflicts over a dog, I can't imagine how difficult it will be for the two of you to agree on how to parent. You can't put a child in a crate when it annoys you.

[Maximo]

You have a tough decision to make. If you keep the dog and commit to making this work, start fresh with a new attitude.

Set the dog up for success: she needs a routine, a really good schedule for eating, frequent potty breaks, exercise, and mental stimulation.

If you are consumed with frustration and have low expectations for the dog, and if you fail to provide for her needs, she will feed on all of the negativity and grow increasingly defensive.

A dog confined to a crate for a good portion of the day is going to be miserable. Try the xpen as suggested, or use babygates to keep in her in one room.

Smaller dogs need ample opportunity to potty. Imagine yourself being limited to using the bathroom to the number of times this dog is.

Midnight is probably not a good time for any dog to eat a meal, no matter what your schedule is. I don't subscribe to the alpha school of thought. My boys eat their meals before I do, and they are trained to leave me alone while I enjoy my food. They know who is in charge. I believe obedience and trick training to encourage this kind of good behavior should be made fun for both the dog and you. It's so much more enjoyable than dominating the dog.

I admit that these little ones have challenged me in ways that no large dog ever has. This is what I believe makes them almost like humans. They are a handful, sort of like human babies. They require a lot of work.

[boopster]

Maybe I got up on the wrong side of the bed, but I have the feeling you are trying to be the alpha over both your fiancée and her dog. Quote " I'm not letting it into our house...". Pardon me, but this is the 21st century and these days marriage is generally supposed to be a partnership, not a caveman thing.

IMNSHO, you need to have a serios talk with your fiancée about the dog and your future. Is she willing to consider giving up the dog? If not, you have only three choices - accept it and work with her on caring for the dog properly, accept it and live with it the way it is, or walk away from the relationship.

If you do stay together, I hope you will have some serious counseling together before you commit to having children because if you can't agree on how to care for a dog, you will never be able to manage children.

I thought I knew all about raising dogs from many years of experience but these toy breeds are very different from larger dogs. If you keep it, you need to get some breed-specific resources and/ or read up on all the info here to learn how to better manage its care.

And by the way, I don't think much of violence in any form, but if I had seen you strike my dog, I might have changed my mind. At the very least, I would not have spent another night under the same roof as you. You might be the nicest guy in the world at the end of your rope, but there are other ways of handling the situation.

[DvlshAngel985]

Originally Posted by Maximo

I admit that these little ones have challenged me in ways that no large dog ever has. This is what I believe makes them almost like humans. They are a handful, sort of like human babies. They require a lot of work.

You forgot to mention their terrier attitudes that make them stubborn and hard to train. (at times) Gotta love them!

OP, I agree with everyone else's advice. From your post it is clear that you are stressed out and have no clue how to deal with this dog. At least your girlfriend doesn't. You have the right idea of wanting to put the little yorkie girl on a schedule. I believe most of us do. I truly believe that having a dog is something that shouldn't be done on a whim. I know the yorkie's cute face draws anyone in. BUT, if proper research is done, a potential dog owner will know how to handle the ups and downs of training these little stinkers.

The dog in question though has a sad life. No real human companionship, she feels unloved by the both of you, and really has no where else to turn or go to for love, companionship, entertainment, or anything. I feel as though you and your girlfriend have only 2 options.

1) Start over, clean slate with this pup. OP, you have to change your attitude and your girlfriend has to change hers in order to have some positive result with this dog. You have to get rid of your negative attitude, and she has to see her dog for what she is; a living breathing creature with wants and needs just like we do. A schedule is fine and dandy, but her living quarters have to change dramatically too. Both of you have to make time for play and stimulation. To me it seems like you want to wipe your hands clean of this dog by claiming it is not yours. WRONG! If you marry your girlfriend, she comes with the dog. If you live with them, you are responsible for her behavior as well.

2) Find a reputable yorkie rescue and surrender her. Please don't take her to any city shelter or humane society. The yorkie rescue will work with her to help her get past these issues then find her an appropriate home. If ever either of you want a dog in the future, thoroughly research the breed and breeder before taking the plunge.

Oh, and before you think that I'm an experienced dog person, I'm a first time dog owner. Never had a dog before in my life. My little boy is my first dog and he came with the same issues your describing in your post. He has anxiety issues, and was an overall weird little man. I'm young (25) and had researched this breed for a very long time before diving in. My boy is very well behaved. He has a potty pad in the bathroom and will go as far as scratching the door to be let in, or finding any human to change it for him if it's dirty. My boyfriend is just like you. He has 5 dogs at home who are nasty little things, but wipes his hands clean of them saying they are his dad's/mom's/sister's dogs, so he won't train them. His living room is a giant bathroom for the dogs. It is so disgusting, I hate going to visit. But he loves my little boy. At my home he plays and interacts with Kaji (my pup) following the training and schedule I have in place. It is harmonious and I've heard him say how he wishes his dogs were as pleasant to be with as mine. It wasn't easy to get my little boy to where he is now, but it can be done.

Sorry for the long winded response. Before I'm officially done, have your girlfriend come and see what other yorkie owners think and say. Maybe it'll help both of you make a decision. Good luck to you.

[licricket]

I agree with the other people who posted their comments. There are a lot of people out there who would be able to give this poor dog a home, along with a lot of love...Please please consider putting the dog up for adoption. The life you described is not good at all. Please give this dog a chance to be placed in a loving home.

[Ringo1]

Originally Posted by Luvdogs2

Ok, first off I'm going to apologize for venting through this at times, but I'm at whits end.

I've been seeing my now fiance for a few years and when I first met her and met the dog, I played with it and looked forward to seeing both my girl and her dog. It didn't take long before I wanted nothing to do with the dog - when you hear about how she messed in the cage or on the floor a few times a week, it gets pretty old.

The guy she was seeing before I started dating her claimed that his biggest problem was because of the dog...for what that is worth.

Ok, here's the story, I'm a full time student of Mechanical Engineering, she is a full time nurse also studying for her bachelors in nursing. We are both graduating soon, we are both plus and minus 30 years old. I come from a farm, have had 6 dogs through the years and I've trained each and every one of them with mountains of success. Fiance - been around a few dogs, this one in discussion is her first and it knows how to do a few tricks, but can't be let out of sight because the moment she does, she's tearing something up, jumping on the table, crapping or peeing on the floor/bed/wherever she can do it.

I now live with the fiance and I'm always gone for school and work, so the dog does go into the crate quite a bit. One thing is for certain, I'm not babysitting the darn thing while I'm home and studying, so she does sit in the crate while I'm reading and can't devote time to her. When fiance comes home and the dog messes in the cage, I GET THE HEAT! I finally had enough and started a feeding schedule and got rid of the auto feeder on the floor. Dog eats after we do (Alphas eat first) at noon and midnight when fiance gets home.

Dog is messing in the cage more than ever now... Let me explain why I believe so.

Fiance, feeds her about 1/3 to 1/2 cup of food in one sitting (in my opinion, too much for an adult yorkie, but I get "she's hungry and you want to starve her") between noon and 2, when she goes to work. She will run her outside for a short bit and the dog will pee, but not crap. Then she goes in the crate for 8 hours and there is a 50/50 shot whether the dog craps or not in the cage.

My thoughts - when somebody eats, what do they typically do a few hours later? But apparently I don't know what I'm doing here. I say feed her between 10am and noon every day and take her outside at 2 and stay out there for a half hour if needed so she does her thing until she gets into a cycle.

I've tried to explain things to the fiance a number of times, but I get the rolling of the eyes, the "I know" and all of the defensive arguments a person can think of. I've even gotten the "I don't have time...." - which my response of "if you don't have the time, you should find her a home with somebody that does have the time" didn't go over well.

I've talked to my mother/father about this - Dad has even commented about how this dog is going to be a problem between us.

Now, let's also get into the darn thing has bitten me 3 times now. I come from a family where if the dog bits, the dog leaves. I have shown infinite tolerance on this subject, but I have a great concern on having kids in the future with this dog here. I've asked about what happens if the dog bites a kid and I get "well, it depends on what the kid does..." I think that is absurd BS and if this animal harms my future baby or toddler....a great disturbance will be felt in the puppy force (Star Wars fan here).

Mom says if you have a serious concern, it should find a new home before a baby comes into the home - and I agree.

Now, funny part (for you all) - it normally has free reign of the bedroom at night when the fiance is sleeping and I'm out of town working. When I am home, it goes in the kennel at night because the darn thing will sneak attack and lick me in my mouth when I'm unconscious and don't have a closed mouth. I've learned my lesson after the second time. The reason I bring this up, the freaking dog will growl and show it's teeth to me when I walk in or walk by the kennel in the bedroom. Not cool.

I've never hurt, hit or done anything violent to the fiance - however, dog got a good whooping for the last bite....(it was open hand, no kicking but some side swipe shots across the nose and a LOT of yelling).

If this dog doesn't shape up, I'm not letting it into our house when we get married and I find a job in the Engineering field. I'll repeat that....If the dog doesn't get it together, she will not be welcome in our home.

Can anyone help?

An entire page of ranting and I still don't know your dog's name. Can I ask why you refer to her as 'it"? Your antagonism towards her is palpable.

Bottom line - you do not like this dog; you do not want this dog in your home. This little dog must surely be miserable. You are educated; as is your girlfriend and you still cannot manage to properly train and raise a 6 year old yorkie?

Please, find the poor dog a new home. I suggest, as others have, a breed specific rescue.

If you decide to change your attitude and can find a little love or affection in your heart for this little animal; you must start potty training all over. I agree with your idea about a schedule. Yes, she must be ona regular feeding;relieving schedule. 8 hours in a crate is too long. She has the bladder the size of a pea; she cannot hold it for 8 hours. You cannot let the dog out of her crate while you are home? How sad. And lazy.

The dog bites you for good reason. You threaten her security. "IT" is not a stupid dog. YOU or your fiance HAVE FAILED to properly train her.

[Sammy Mommy]

Originally Posted by Ladymom

This is a lose/lose situation for everyone involved, especially the poor dog. I agree with the other posters. Contact a Yorkie rescue.

I hope the two of you think long and hard before you decide to have a child. If you have conflicts over a dog, I can't imagine how difficult it will be for the two of you to agree on how to parent. You can't put a child in a crate when it annoys you.

Ladymom, I totally agree with you!!!!!!

[ladyjane]

Your fiance, in my opinion, has two options. If a man (you) is making her choose between him and "the dog" as you refer to it, she can either:

A: dump the man and keep the precious pup who will love her unconditionally
B: dump the dog and keep the man and be sorry later in life

If this were me, YOU would not be thinking of YOUR options....YOU would not have any. I wonder if she has consulted with HER family....maybe she does not have any? Please have her contact me, I will be happy to help her out with some friendly advice.

Your post disgusted me. I barely read through it all.

This poor little pup ... you hit it??? Look at the size of you..and look at the size of it. Of COURSE it bit you...what ELSE does it have besides teeth to defend itself?

You want children, you say? I think I best keep my trap shut about what I think of that plan. Just use your imagination.

Shame on you.

[Luvdogs2]

Originally Posted by yorkielady06

I would even venture further to ask you, if this were a human child and it was biting, would you strike it?? I cannot even believe you tried to justify that.

This might not win any favor, but I grew up in a time when I got in trouble, I got a belt. When I was good, I was rewarded - and before anyone says I was abused, I most certainly wasn't.

If my child bites or misbehaves, they will expect the same upbringing I was exposed to...and I too have 24 years of dog handling and training. I recieved my first dog at 10 years old. I have a good sense in what I'm doing, and have researched the Yorkie breed extensively.

What I'm trying to get out of this post is something I may have missed, but more importantly the ability to point this thread out to my fiance and let her read what others have to say and hope she acts accordingly.