I need a psychogist! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

celstu1 · 11-06-2009, 01:26 PM

Or maybe drugs and a straight jacket! I am soooo pissy today! I KNOW it's PMS that is contributing to some of it.... but man its awful.

So I find out today through my mom that my little bro is planning on getting married in Dec. This will be his 5th engagement and his 2nd marriage. The first lasted 4 months and he didn't even tell me about it until well after a YEAR after they got divorced. Now he is going to Vegas to get married in Dec, even though they live in VA and he is deployed to Iraq until next April. He is rushing into YET another marriage. I have 2 brothers and both will be here for xmas. However both got married within days of xmas and I have not been able to go the 2500+ miles to their 'weddings' (I say that lightly since neither is having a wedding wedding). I barely know the girls who are my sisters in law.

Now about me... Im the oldest and was in a LONG relationship with a guy I adored.. 10 years. I am still not over it, when I fall, I fall hard. I am not married and am dating a wonderful man but someone whom I am thinking about ending it with. I want to get married someday maybe have a child. He has 2 from a previous marriage and is fixed and wants no more. He also is no hurry to get married again and we've been together 2 years. I refuse to give up my house unless he proposes and he's not in a hurry, which leaves me in a similar situation that I was in with my last long relationship. I give up too much of what I want for the guys I love. I feel sucked dry. He loves me and he'd do ALMOST anything for me, except the 2 things I want, get married and maybe have a baby.

So instead of feeling happy I am not looking forward to xmas where I can basically sit there and not be seen because my family will be fawning over my brothers, one's new baby and the other's new marriage while I am invisible because I didn't rush into a marriage or get pregnant and have a shotgun wedding. It makes me NOT want to go with a passion that I can't explain. It makes me want to just up and leave everything behind and start over somewhere new. I absolutely hate that I'm not in my 20s anymore and can't get back that time. I had so much time 10 years ago and now its dwindling.

Plus Im restless... Im busting my butt at work and in school to finish my BSBA but I hate my job bc my duties changed from more R&D work to more admin and stupid crap I hate doing when I was hired for R&D for a reason. Bc I am salary and the economy is tough, I took a paycut and they no longer match our 401k, health ins premiums keep going up and no raise... but if I were hourly they'd still match 401k and I could have collected unemployment for those unpaid weeks off. I need to get out of here... everyday you are forced to give 110% because we are so short handed yet we get NOTHING in return. Just keep taking.

People ... I am SUCKED DRY!

Please advice!

mohawkmalli · 11-06-2009, 02:01 PM

Hit a liquor store on the way home

...good curbside to go grub

...rent a couple good chick flicks

...then sit down and just CRY!!!!

Always makes me feel better...that and a little impulsive shopping! Hehe...but in all reality I hope things do get better for you and if you really don't want to go to Christmas with your family then plan a trip for yourself and just enjoy the fact that you are not yet tied down with a family. I know that this is easy for me to say b/c I have a family and would love to just pick up and go sometimes and miss the times when I could. Good Luck my Dear! Don't know how helpful that was!!

mylittlegirls · 11-06-2009, 09:14 PM

Hello Edith,
You're stronger than you think. You see things for what they are and that's the first step of learning from making mistakes yourself.
Remember, you only go around once in this lifetime and you need to put yourself... First! It sounds selfish sometimes but your the only one that can make you happy.
It's time for you to cut the cord in your relationship and seek happiness for yourself. If your dreaming of having a family and building a life based on your true feelings, then do it. Don't sacrifice or compromise because in the long run you only end up hurting yourself. Do what's right for you, your on the right track.
As far as your job, don't give up now. I told my daughter when she was having a difficult time at work, learn what you can and put out resumes. It might be a little rough right now because of the economy but put them out anyway. Her agents learned that her résumé was posted and was offered a better job and more pay. She just loves her her job now.. Smile
Keep your chin up... It will be a brighter day tomorrow..

Take Care... Kathleen
Punken...

Breese Be Be....

RIP.. Lil Ol Tuffy....

diane boden · 11-07-2009, 07:35 AM

I know how you feel, I work in a crappy factory where they tied us into new contracts due to the credit crunch, so we all ended up 'banking' some of our pay + our overtime + loosing some of our shift pay. All so we could end up Paying for our own time off and couldn't claim anything like others. I an stuck in a small team of people, just ! other woman & 3 men, one who's marriage is going through a rocky patch & has decided the way to deal with it is to have an affair with me!!!!! I DONT THINK SO. Get a life you jerk. One of the others is a complete prat who acts like a stupid teenager & he's only 48, plenty of time to grow up of course, not. He's a sexist pig and idle, we all have to give more because he wont do his share. I stick it out becuase the pay is better on nights & I'm not letting them drive me off. I have a plan for my future & they're not going to spoil it.

Princessangela3 · 11-07-2009, 08:48 AM

I wasted 10+ years in a marriage that was not working from the start and that held nothing but empty promises just so I could have the "perfect" family. I regret most of the 10 years I wasted on him and none of his promises panned out.
I strongly suggest if your guy after 2 years isnt willing to even consider marriage and a baby and it truly is something you want that you get out now before you waste another second...
I look back at the lost 10 years and wish I would have NEVER wasted the 10 years on promises and no actions.
I have now found a great guy who isnt perfect but he is perfect for me. We have a good relationship and a great family.

PS as far as work goes decided what you can handle and for how long and then follow your own guidlines...I work for a company that has changed my position to something I do not enjoy as much but the thought of starting over somewhere else is even less appealing to me right this second than sticking with my current position.

gidgetsmom · 11-07-2009, 08:49 AM

I am also in need of a good dr. LOL! My daughter had her 4th child out of wedlock and my parents and siblings have shunned her so there went our holidays. Its so bad and has created a very uncomfortable situation with me, my parents and siblings. My other daughter is pregnant with her second child and still not divorced after a 2 year seperation but its her new boyfriends. I haven't told my family that yet. I am having a hard time handling all this. My husband just found out he has a tumor in his knee bone and has to go to Cleveland Clinic next week. Oh and the company I work for can't seem to get it together. It keeps changing every day and we are not doing well. Things just keep piling up on my shoulders and it gets harder and harder to handle. So yes I need a good Dr too. I raised my kids in the church what happened?

mylittlegirls · 11-08-2009, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gidgetsmom

I am also in need of a good dr. LOL! My daughter had her 4th child out of wedlock and my parents and siblings have shunned her so there went our holidays. Its so bad and has created a very uncomfortable situation with me, my parents and siblings. My other daughter is pregnant with her second child and still not divorced after a 2 year seperation but its her new boyfriends. I haven't told my family that yet. I am having a hard time handling all this. My husband just found out he has a tumor in his knee bone and has to go to Cleveland Clinic next week. Oh and the company I work for can't seem to get it together. It keeps changing every day and we are not doing well. Things just keep piling up on my shoulders and it gets harder and harder to handle. So yes I need a good Dr too. I raised my kids in the church what happened?

Gidgetsmom,
We're living in a different Society. Children now a days, look at situations only on a daily bases and not the long term.
Sometimes when things get took much to handle, say these little words and it might just help get you through the stree.
Let go and let God handle it for awhile. I just need a rest. You'll find out that, things will always work out the way God intended.

Your in my prayers,
Kathleen
My little girls... Punken Pie...

Breese Be Be....

RIP... Lil Ol Tuffy...

mylittlegirls · 11-08-2009, 09:04 PM

Sp.... Stress... lol

celstu1 · 11-09-2009, 07:57 AM

My mom said something to me this weekend that made sense. She finally talked to me, I mean really took time to talk to me. She rarely does because my 2 brothers always need so much and shes in school fulltime and we are so far away from each other... but she listened to me rant and she read between the lines. She told me that I am a planner and I like to know how the next step of my life is going to work before I'm done the current step. Most of my family is spontaneous, does not think things through and will have many challenges and heartache to go through from their bad or impetuous decisions. I think and plan things out and because of that I won't face as many challenges, of course this postpones everything... I want everything now, but I don't either...I like to finish one thing at a time, before I start another. aaahhhh Im feeling better today... I know everyone has their own challenges and things to face in this lifetime. Sometimes we just need to vent. Thanks for listening and responding.

I also find repeating the Serenity prayer in my head over and over again helps me calm down and feel more in control

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Lexi Rae · 11-10-2009, 12:00 PM

oh girl.. i wish you lived closer so we could hang out.. im going through
something so similar to you... I know i need to get away, i know its not gonna work, what the heck am i doing... whats wrong with us girls??????

celstu1 · 11-10-2009, 01:09 PM

I think I am one that gives all my "energy" to other people. I feel for everyone, I push everyone to recovery, I push everyone to their happiness, and when they are and I sit down to recover and recharge my energy, I realize that I am yet again the one left alone and lonely. I have no "energy" left for others right now. I have no more joy, concern, sadness, hugs, advice, compassion, nothing left to GIVE to others right now. I am truly sucked dry. I really feel like I need someone to give me some of their "energy", I need someone to really care. I can't give anymore to my family or my friends or even my boyfriend. When did it become my job to emotionally take care of everyone around me?

Lexi Rae · 11-10-2009, 01:25 PM

wow!! your an image of me... hang in there sweety.. Life does go on.
easier said than done huh???? I feel stuck, just like you do..
really stuck.. and for no reason.. I could have it all

celstu1 · 11-10-2009, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexi Rae

wow!! your an image of me... hang in there sweety.. Life does go on.
easier said than done huh???? I feel stuck, just like you do..
really stuck.. and for no reason.. I could have it all

Doesn't it seem like if you want it all you have to work soooo damn hard? All while dodging everyone else who NEEDS you? Like you don't have the time or energy to take care of yourself and everyone else...so you take care of everyone else and life is screaming by you and noone is taking care of you? WOW... I hope I was not too far out there!

You also hang in there... my mom said there is an inner storm that always comes before a change. Something is going to change for me. I hope that something changes for you too. It's tiring to always have to be the strong, silent type! (((HUGS)))

mypreciouspups · 11-10-2009, 01:51 PM

Things seem to happen when it is all supose to.. we sometimes do not understand at the time.. not until it actually happens..sending hugs..

11-06-2009, 01:26 PM	#1
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	I need a psychogist! Or maybe drugs and a straight jacket! I am soooo pissy today! I KNOW it's PMS that is contributing to some of it.... but man its awful. So I find out today through my mom that my little bro is planning on getting married in Dec. This will be his 5th engagement and his 2nd marriage. The first lasted 4 months and he didn't even tell me about it until well after a YEAR after they got divorced. Now he is going to Vegas to get married in Dec, even though they live in VA and he is deployed to Iraq until next April. He is rushing into YET another marriage. I have 2 brothers and both will be here for xmas. However both got married within days of xmas and I have not been able to go the 2500+ miles to their 'weddings' (I say that lightly since neither is having a wedding wedding). I barely know the girls who are my sisters in law. Now about me... Im the oldest and was in a LONG relationship with a guy I adored.. 10 years. I am still not over it, when I fall, I fall hard. I am not married and am dating a wonderful man but someone whom I am thinking about ending it with. I want to get married someday maybe have a child. He has 2 from a previous marriage and is fixed and wants no more. He also is no hurry to get married again and we've been together 2 years. I refuse to give up my house unless he proposes and he's not in a hurry, which leaves me in a similar situation that I was in with my last long relationship. I give up too much of what I want for the guys I love. I feel sucked dry. He loves me and he'd do ALMOST anything for me, except the 2 things I want, get married and maybe have a baby. So instead of feeling happy I am not looking forward to xmas where I can basically sit there and not be seen because my family will be fawning over my brothers, one's new baby and the other's new marriage while I am invisible because I didn't rush into a marriage or get pregnant and have a shotgun wedding. It makes me NOT want to go with a passion that I can't explain. It makes me want to just up and leave everything behind and start over somewhere new. I absolutely hate that I'm not in my 20s anymore and can't get back that time. I had so much time 10 years ago and now its dwindling. Plus Im restless... Im busting my butt at work and in school to finish my BSBA but I hate my job bc my duties changed from more R&D work to more admin and stupid crap I hate doing when I was hired for R&D for a reason. Bc I am salary and the economy is tough, I took a paycut and they no longer match our 401k, health ins premiums keep going up and no raise... but if I were hourly they'd still match 401k and I could have collected unemployment for those unpaid weeks off. I need to get out of here... everyday you are forced to give 110% because we are so short handed yet we get NOTHING in return. Just keep taking. People ... I am SUCKED DRY! Please advice! __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz

11-06-2009, 02:01 PM	#2
mohawkmalli Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Maryville,TN,USA Posts: 185	Hit a liquor store on the way home...good curbside to go grub...rent a couple good chick flicks...then sit down and just CRY!!!! Always makes me feel better...that and a little impulsive shopping! Hehe...but in all reality I hope things do get better for you and if you really don't want to go to Christmas with your family then plan a trip for yourself and just enjoy the fact that you are not yet tied down with a family. I know that this is easy for me to say b/c I have a family and would love to just pick up and go sometimes and miss the times when I could. Good Luck my Dear! Don't know how helpful that was!! __________________ Mommy to Mohawk Malli

11-06-2009, 09:14 PM	#3
mylittlegirls No Longer a Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Glendora, California Posts: 265	Be Strong, you'll get through this... Positive Thinking Hello Edith, You're stronger than you think. You see things for what they are and that's the first step of learning from making mistakes yourself. Remember, you only go around once in this lifetime and you need to put yourself... First! It sounds selfish sometimes but your the only one that can make you happy. It's time for you to cut the cord in your relationship and seek happiness for yourself. If your dreaming of having a family and building a life based on your true feelings, then do it. Don't sacrifice or compromise because in the long run you only end up hurting yourself. Do what's right for you, your on the right track. As far as your job, don't give up now. I told my daughter when she was having a difficult time at work, learn what you can and put out resumes. It might be a little rough right now because of the economy but put them out anyway. Her agents learned that her résumé was posted and was offered a better job and more pay. She just loves her her job now.. Smile Keep your chin up... It will be a brighter day tomorrow.. Take Care... Kathleen Punken... Breese Be Be.... RIP.. Lil Ol Tuffy....

11-07-2009, 08:48 AM	#5
Princessangela3 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Woodland, Ca, Usa Posts: 764	I wasted 10+ years in a marriage that was not working from the start and that held nothing but empty promises just so I could have the "perfect" family. I regret most of the 10 years I wasted on him and none of his promises panned out. I strongly suggest if your guy after 2 years isnt willing to even consider marriage and a baby and it truly is something you want that you get out now before you waste another second... I look back at the lost 10 years and wish I would have NEVER wasted the 10 years on promises and no actions. I have now found a great guy who isnt perfect but he is perfect for me. We have a good relationship and a great family. PS as far as work goes decided what you can handle and for how long and then follow your own guidlines...I work for a company that has changed my position to something I do not enjoy as much but the thought of starting over somewhere else is even less appealing to me right this second than sticking with my current position. __________________ ~Angela Last edited by Princessangela3; 11-07-2009 at 08:50 AM.

11-07-2009, 08:49 AM	#6
gidgetsmom YT Addict Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: ohio Posts: 427	Me to I am also in need of a good dr. LOL! My daughter had her 4th child out of wedlock and my parents and siblings have shunned her so there went our holidays. Its so bad and has created a very uncomfortable situation with me, my parents and siblings. My other daughter is pregnant with her second child and still not divorced after a 2 year seperation but its her new boyfriends. I haven't told my family that yet. I am having a hard time handling all this. My husband just found out he has a tumor in his knee bone and has to go to Cleveland Clinic next week. Oh and the company I work for can't seem to get it together. It keeps changing every day and we are not doing well. Things just keep piling up on my shoulders and it gets harder and harder to handle. So yes I need a good Dr too. I raised my kids in the church what happened?

11-07-2009, 07:35 AM	#4
diane boden YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: england Posts: 676 Blog Entries: 23	I know how you feel, I work in a crappy factory where they tied us into new contracts due to the credit crunch, so we all ended up 'banking' some of our pay + our overtime + loosing some of our shift pay. All so we could end up Paying for our own time off and couldn't claim anything like others. I an stuck in a small team of people, just ! other woman & 3 men, one who's marriage is going through a rocky patch & has decided the way to deal with it is to have an affair with me!!!!! I DONT THINK SO. Get a life you jerk. One of the others is a complete prat who acts like a stupid teenager & he's only 48, plenty of time to grow up of course, not. He's a sexist pig and idle, we all have to give more because he wont do his share. I stick it out becuase the pay is better on nights & I'm not letting them drive me off. I have a plan for my future & they're not going to spoil it.

11-08-2009, 09:04 PM	#8
mylittlegirls No Longer a Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Glendora, California Posts: 265	Opps.. Sp.... Stress... lol

11-09-2009, 07:57 AM	#9
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	My mom said something to me this weekend that made sense. She finally talked to me, I mean really took time to talk to me. She rarely does because my 2 brothers always need so much and shes in school fulltime and we are so far away from each other... but she listened to me rant and she read between the lines. She told me that I am a planner and I like to know how the next step of my life is going to work before I'm done the current step. Most of my family is spontaneous, does not think things through and will have many challenges and heartache to go through from their bad or impetuous decisions. I think and plan things out and because of that I won't face as many challenges, of course this postpones everything... I want everything now, but I don't either...I like to finish one thing at a time, before I start another. aaahhhh Im feeling better today... I know everyone has their own challenges and things to face in this lifetime. Sometimes we just need to vent. Thanks for listening and responding. I also find repeating the Serenity prayer in my head over and over again helps me calm down and feel more in control God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz Last edited by celstu1; 11-09-2009 at 07:58 AM.

11-10-2009, 12:00 PM	#10
Lexi Rae Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY Posts: 10,455	oh girl.. i wish you lived closer so we could hang out.. im going through something so similar to you... I know i need to get away, i know its not gonna work, what the heck am i doing... whats wrong with us girls?????? __________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ...

11-10-2009, 01:09 PM	#11
celstu1 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 10,534	I think I am one that gives all my "energy" to other people. I feel for everyone, I push everyone to recovery, I push everyone to their happiness, and when they are and I sit down to recover and recharge my energy, I realize that I am yet again the one left alone and lonely. I have no "energy" left for others right now. I have no more joy, concern, sadness, hugs, advice, compassion, nothing left to GIVE to others right now. I am truly sucked dry. I really feel like I need someone to give me some of their "energy", I need someone to really care. I can't give anymore to my family or my friends or even my boyfriend. When did it become my job to emotionally take care of everyone around me? __________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz

11-10-2009, 01:25 PM	#12
Lexi Rae Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY Posts: 10,455	wow!! your an image of me... hang in there sweety.. Life does go on. easier said than done huh???? I feel stuck, just like you do.. really stuck.. and for no reason.. I could have it all __________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ...

11-10-2009, 01:51 PM	#14
mypreciouspups Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Florida/Canada Posts: 5,514	Things seem to happen when it is all supose to.. we sometimes do not understand at the time.. not until it actually happens..sending hugs..