Tongue Piercing-Advice Please - YorkieTalk.com Forums

jvwheeler · 07-19-2007, 06:19 PM

Hi! I need advice. As many of you know I am wrapping up some time in Iraq and will return home next Wednesday (Yeah!). One month ago, prior to a trip to Florida to see some old friends and spend time with her father, my wonderful, intelligent, beautiful 15 year old daughter said "Mom, speaking of Florida, I would like to get something pierced." And I said "What?" Thinking the outside of her ear okay, eyebrow no, belly button maybe. She says "Tongue" and I said "ABSOLUTELY NOT, I FORBID IT" I did tell her that she is too young, it is too dangerous, and that I have spent $4K out of my pocket on braces and teeth.

She is a spoiled child. She gets most everything she wants. We talk, and we usually have a great relationship. She knows she is spoiled and thus far hasn't taken advantage of it.

WELL--she did it anyway. She doesn't know that I know, but she won't be able to hide it when we are on the same continent.

I know that YT is a diverse group of people and many of you probably have some experience in this realm (I don't, the military completely frowns on it, and since it has only come in fashion since I have been in...)

By reading on the Internet, it appears it takes 3 - 4 weeks for it to completely heal. Is this true?

I was very, very angry when I first found out. I wanted to go home tear it out of her mouth and take away everything that is not part of the parental contract. No cell, no Internet, no riding lessons, tv--leave her with food, clothes and shelter.

But I have calmed down a bit. Only a bit. So with this diverse group, tell me what you think.

When I see it (which shouldn't take long), explain to her how disappointed I am that she went against my wishes. Allow her to leave the piercing in for one month from the date of inception, to allow it to heal. Then she can not wear a piercing until she is no longer living in my house. Take away cell and internet privileges for one month. Ground her for one month. She can go places with me, her horse instructor, and that's it. At any time for the next three to four years, we can check her mouth for a piercing, if she has one, she is grounded/no cell or internet for one week, if she refuses to let us see her tongue, same for two weeks.

So now, am I overreacting? Underreacting? And who knows about the length of time to heal? It would be interesting if you have an opinion to tell me your age group. I would imagine that the younger set will have a different opinion then other sets, but maybe I am wrong.

Sorry for the long post, but this is the first time she has blatantly disobeyed me and I am shocked. Yes I know she is a teenager.

Janelle

chattiesmom · 07-19-2007, 06:27 PM

Jannell -- I know nothing about tounge piercings so I'll just send some hugs. I know you are angry and hurt. My best suggestion would be to wait until you get home, take your dear sweet spoiled daughter who was disobedient ONE time out for a mother daughter date. Chances are, she is nervous about you finding out so let her be the one to tell you. When she does give her the most loving hug you have inside you. Talk to her about about your feelings and not to her. Please don't let one incident spoil an otherwise good relationship. Hugs

windsor'smom · 07-19-2007, 06:29 PM

Can't remember all the details but was listening to John Tesh on the radio the other morning and he was talking about tongue piercing and how dangerous it is. Infections and even something about causing teeth to deteriorate. Have to look it up on line........

chattiesmom · 07-19-2007, 06:30 PM

I went through H*LL (all caps) with our middle son. He spent one summer completely grounded, in his bedroom -- I took everything from him but his undershorts -- and you know what -- he was still rebellious. My dear sweet middle son is now 23 and is a joy! He has grown up and and matured and is a very respectful kind young man.

MaxwellHouse · 07-19-2007, 06:34 PM

Hopefully, she won't be a smoker; my sister-in-law is a nurse practitioner and said that smoking with a tongue piercing raises chance of mouth cancer. If you can at least get her to agree not to smoke, and watch out for general infection. This too shall pass and it will lose it's allure and she will let it heal over.

jvwheeler · 07-19-2007, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by windsor'smom

Can't remember all the details but was listening to John Tesh on the radio the other morning and he was talking about tongue piercing and how dangerous it is. Infections and even something about causing teeth to deteriorate. Have to look it up on line........

Oh, I know. When she first mentioned it, I thought that I forbid it wasn't very good fuel, so I looked it all up, compile a brouchure and had my husband print it up and leave it for her. The risks are awful. She hasn't mentioned it since, so I thought it was done.

yorkiemalt · 07-19-2007, 06:38 PM

I'm sorry....I'm sure you're shocked and disappointed.

First, I'd like to know WHERE she got this done. They must be 18 and are usually required to bring a birth certificate and driver's license to prove it. If not, they must have parental consent in the form of a signature. That would be my first issue....find out who did this.

It does take quite awhile to heal. They talk funny for a few weeks because of the swelling. And the swelling is TREMENDOUS! You'd think they'd learn from one another but NO...they do it anyway. I know they must be very careful because of a potential infection and should be rinsing with an antiseptic wash like Listerine 3 or 4 times a day for weeks.

I too was shocked and appalled at my own daughter. She was away at college and thought I wouldn't find out.

She is forbidden to wear it in my home and last year she chipped a tooth. I swear it's because of the piercing and so does the dentist. So....she paid for the root canal and the cap out of her own pocket.

Good news...I have seen the tongue ring for quite awhile now!

jvwheeler · 07-19-2007, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

I went through H*LL (all caps) with our middle son. He spent one summer completely grounded, in his bedroom -- I took everything from him but his undershorts -- and you know what -- he was still rebellious. My dear sweet middle son is now 23 and is a joy! He has grown up and and matured and is a very respectful kind young man.

Cindy,
Thanks. I did think about grounding her to that extent. But I knew it would backfire on me. Thanks for the advice about mother daughter date. You are right, I should let her tell me, she will feel so guilty. I gave her money today to go to a concert on Tuesday, sent her a text that said "I put $40 in your account. Thanks for being a wonderful daughter whom I can trust to make the right decisions." Hopefully, some day, she too will be a wonderful 23-year old...

jvwheeler · 07-19-2007, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaxwellHouse

Hopefully, she won't be a smoker; my sister-in-law is a nurse practitioner and said that smoking with a tongue piercing raises chance of mouth cancer. If you can at least get her to agree not to smoke, and watch out for general infection. This too shall pass and it will lose it's allure and she will let it heal over.

Well I don't think she would smoke. Three days ago I would have said no way, not my little angel! But I guess therein lies my main question, will it EVER heal over?

Holly_QD · 07-19-2007, 06:48 PM

I pierced my tongue when I was 18 (I'm 24 now). It never got infected and I took all the precautions I had to to keep it that way. Lost about 10 lbs in the process by the way. They did tell me not to take it off at all for at least a month or two and twist it so my tongue wouldn't heal around it. In other words so it wouldn't stay stuck to the tongue bar. It's better to let her keep it till it heals completely and then have her take it out. They advised me the same thing as my dad threatened to tear out my tongue if I didn't take it off. LOL. Well he let me keep it until it healed and then took it from me. LOL. I went to buy another. I was 18 and lived in the softball dorm so technically wasn't living under his roof nor ate from his table. That was my reasoning back then anyways.

Anyhow, I agree with there being repercussions to her having pierced it without permission, but I would suggest to let it heal first. Then take it from her. If she's going to keep it off after only a month and then for four years after that. She would need to pierce it again for her to be able to wear a tongue bar again. How did she get consent to get it pierced? You have to sign a waiver? Hmmmm....well good luck and I hope you come home safely.

Oh yess, tonz and tonz of mouth wash and anything acidic brings unbelievable pain. My husband's is also pierced and he was in the Navy by the way. SHHHHHHH!

YorkieMom55 · 07-19-2007, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

Jannell -- I know nothing about tounge piercings so I'll just send some hugs. I know you are angry and hurt. My best suggestion would be to wait until you get home, take your dear sweet spoiled daughter who was disobedient ONE time out for a mother daughter date. Chances are, she is nervous about you finding out so let her be the one to tell you. When she does give her the most loving hug you have inside you. Talk to her about about your feelings and not to her. Please don't let one incident spoil an otherwise good relationship. Hugs

I've thought of what to say and just kept coming back to Cindy's post. I think that she's said it best.
The only thing that I would add is to not let this "little" thing get in the way of your homecoming. Little Thing???? Yes. I'm not making light of it. You seem to be more upset that she disobeyed you. We do the best that we can as parents. This is one of those learning experiences. She'll learn if her decision to pierce her tongue was a smart one through the healing, trying to eat and talk & the social acceptance of it in the real world.
As for my age and experience, lets just say that I'm a grandmother to 13 who range in age from 4 mos to 21 yrs.
Welcome home,

hugs

jvwheeler · 07-19-2007, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yorkiemalt

First, I'd like to know WHERE she got this done. They must be 18 and are usually required to bring a birth certificate and driver's license to prove it. If not, they must have parental consent in the form of a signature. That would be my first issue....find out who did this.
...
I too was shocked and appalled at my own daughter. She was away at college and thought I wouldn't find out.

She is forbidden to wear it in my home and last year she chipped a tooth. I swear it's because of the piercing and so does the dentist. So....she paid for the root canal and the cap out of her own pocket.

Good news...I have seen the tongue ring for quite awhile now!

I know, I am curious about that myself. I am wondering what my dental insurance coverage is going to say about it...

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone in the battle, and that there is eventually hope. Her logic when she asked was that while she was young was the perfect time, cuz it wouldn't be appropriate when she was older. If it won't be appropriate then, why is it now?

jvwheeler · 07-19-2007, 07:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Holly_QD

I pierced my tongue when I was 18 (I'm 24 now). It never got infected and I took all the precautions I had to to keep it that way. Lost about 10 lbs in the process by the way. They did tell me not to take it off at all for at least a month or two and twist it so my tongue wouldn't heal around it. In other words so it wouldn't stay stuck to the tongue bar. It's better to let her keep it till it heals completely and then have her take it out. They advised me the same thing as my dad threatened to tear out my tongue if I didn't take it off. LOL. Well he let me keep it until it healed and then took it from me. LOL. I went to buy another. I was 18 and lived in the softball dorm so technically wasn't living under his roof nor ate from his table. That was my reasoning back then anyways.

Anyhow, I agree with there being repercussions to her having pierced it without permission, but I would suggest to let it heal first. Then take it from her. If she's going to keep it off after only a month and then for four years after that. She would need to pierce it again for her to be able to wear a tongue bar again. How did she get consent to get it pierced? You have to sign a waiver? Hmmmm....well good luck and I hope you come home safely.

Oh yess, tonz and tonz of mouth wash and anything acidic brings unbelievable pain. My husband's is also pierced and he was in the Navy by the way. SHHHHHHH!

She can't afford to lose ten pounds she only weighs 97! Well, I am wise enough to know that if I tell her I don't want her wearing one in the house, it will still be there when she is in school and other places. She will just have to get good at the pulling the bar apart thing and hiding the parts in her cheek real quick when she comes near us and has forgotten to take it out.

Everything I have read on the net basically says it is better to let it heal before removing the bar to prevent infection. That's why I want to know how long it takes to heal.

yesenia83 · 07-19-2007, 08:40 PM

I have a piercing. Im 24 and my piercing was done at 17. It can take 6 months to a year to heal. she needs to keep it clean daily with Gylocide and listerine , everytime she eats she should rinse her mouth. As far as tooth chipping, that because the balls are too big

( lol.. that dosent sound right but you get me). I have a small ball bearing and small ends because i may be loud but have a small mouth. There are different types of ball bearings, balls and they even have some that are flat ontop to make it unnoticable. I got my piecing because i like the look, but i also wasnt the ridiculous teen walking around with my tongue sticking out. Most people dont even know i have one. I'm not a mom but i have a lil sister. if she wants the piecring, take away all of her other goodies, cell phone, pc, video games systems, she cant go out the summer, i could stay here all night thinking of punishments

. One thing i wanted to also mention, the tongue will take that long to heal so the opening will stay...but if you want that the entire thing close up, she can remove the ring now and clean her tongue as she would have if she had it on. sucking on ice helps the swelling if she put ice right away. the reason people get infected when they remove the ring so soon is because they assume that since the rring isnt on they dont have to keep on with the treatment. the treatment ( ring or not) is to keep the tongue from infecting. hope this help.

BubblPopElectrc · 07-20-2007, 12:01 AM

I say you make her take it out. I'm all for self-expression BUT you did ask/tell her not to do it, so she shouldn't have.

I know a few people in the past who had tongue piercings, and I'd say a good half of them chipped a tooth.

I'd also mention her how a lot (not all) jobs shun upon visible piercings. They really could effect her chances getting a job- especially in certain areas. IMO, they are really trashy looking, and I hate going to a restaurant or some place like that and the worker has a tongue ring. Yuck.

07-19-2007, 06:19 PM	#1
jvwheeler Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Virginia Posts: 261	Tongue Piercing-Advice Please Hi! I need advice. As many of you know I am wrapping up some time in Iraq and will return home next Wednesday (Yeah!). One month ago, prior to a trip to Florida to see some old friends and spend time with her father, my wonderful, intelligent, beautiful 15 year old daughter said "Mom, speaking of Florida, I would like to get something pierced." And I said "What?" Thinking the outside of her ear okay, eyebrow no, belly button maybe. She says "Tongue" and I said "ABSOLUTELY NOT, I FORBID IT" I did tell her that she is too young, it is too dangerous, and that I have spent $4K out of my pocket on braces and teeth. She is a spoiled child. She gets most everything she wants. We talk, and we usually have a great relationship. She knows she is spoiled and thus far hasn't taken advantage of it. WELL--she did it anyway. She doesn't know that I know, but she won't be able to hide it when we are on the same continent. I know that YT is a diverse group of people and many of you probably have some experience in this realm (I don't, the military completely frowns on it, and since it has only come in fashion since I have been in...) By reading on the Internet, it appears it takes 3 - 4 weeks for it to completely heal. Is this true? I was very, very angry when I first found out. I wanted to go home tear it out of her mouth and take away everything that is not part of the parental contract. No cell, no Internet, no riding lessons, tv--leave her with food, clothes and shelter. But I have calmed down a bit. Only a bit. So with this diverse group, tell me what you think. When I see it (which shouldn't take long), explain to her how disappointed I am that she went against my wishes. Allow her to leave the piercing in for one month from the date of inception, to allow it to heal. Then she can not wear a piercing until she is no longer living in my house. Take away cell and internet privileges for one month. Ground her for one month. She can go places with me, her horse instructor, and that's it. At any time for the next three to four years, we can check her mouth for a piercing, if she has one, she is grounded/no cell or internet for one week, if she refuses to let us see her tongue, same for two weeks. So now, am I overreacting? Underreacting? And who knows about the length of time to heal? It would be interesting if you have an opinion to tell me your age group. I would imagine that the younger set will have a different opinion then other sets, but maybe I am wrong. Sorry for the long post, but this is the first time she has blatantly disobeyed me and I am shocked. Yes I know she is a teenager. Janelle

07-19-2007, 06:27 PM	#2
chattiesmom Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama Posts: 17,674	Jannell -- I know nothing about tounge piercings so I'll just send some hugs. I know you are angry and hurt. My best suggestion would be to wait until you get home, take your dear sweet spoiled daughter who was disobedient ONE time out for a mother daughter date. Chances are, she is nervous about you finding out so let her be the one to tell you. When she does give her the most loving hug you have inside you. Talk to her about about your feelings and not to her. Please don't let one incident spoil an otherwise good relationship. Hugs __________________ Silk Step-In Harnesses www.foxypups.etsy.com

07-19-2007, 06:29 PM	#3
windsor'smom Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2006 Location: Panama City, FL Posts: 554	Can't remember all the details but was listening to John Tesh on the radio the other morning and he was talking about tongue piercing and how dangerous it is. Infections and even something about causing teeth to deteriorate. Have to look it up on line........ __________________ NOBODY CAN FULLY UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF LOVE UNLESS THEY'RE OWNED BY A DOG

07-19-2007, 06:30 PM	#4
chattiesmom Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama Posts: 17,674	I went through HLL (all caps) with our middle son. He spent one summer completely grounded, in his bedroom -- I took everything from him but his undershorts -- and you know what -- he was still rebellious. My dear sweet middle son is now 23 and is a joy! He has grown up and and matured and is a very respectful kind young man. __________________ Silk Step-In Harnesses* www.foxypups.etsy.com

07-19-2007, 06:38 PM	#7
yorkiemalt Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Northern NJ Posts: 3,468	I'm sorry....I'm sure you're shocked and disappointed. First, I'd like to know WHERE she got this done. They must be 18 and are usually required to bring a birth certificate and driver's license to prove it. If not, they must have parental consent in the form of a signature. That would be my first issue....find out who did this. It does take quite awhile to heal. They talk funny for a few weeks because of the swelling. And the swelling is TREMENDOUS! You'd think they'd learn from one another but NO...they do it anyway. I know they must be very careful because of a potential infection and should be rinsing with an antiseptic wash like Listerine 3 or 4 times a day for weeks. I too was shocked and appalled at my own daughter. She was away at college and thought I wouldn't find out. She is forbidden to wear it in my home and last year she chipped a tooth. I swear it's because of the piercing and so does the dentist. So....she paid for the root canal and the cap out of her own pocket. Good news...I have seen the tongue ring for quite awhile now! __________________ KimPhoebiChandler

07-19-2007, 06:34 PM	#5
MaxwellHouse YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Earlysville Posts: 976	Hopefully, she won't be a smoker; my sister-in-law is a nurse practitioner and said that smoking with a tongue piercing raises chance of mouth cancer. If you can at least get her to agree not to smoke, and watch out for general infection. This too shall pass and it will lose it's allure and she will let it heal over.

07-19-2007, 06:48 PM	#10
Holly_QD Everyday's A HollyDay! Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: TX/WI Posts: 1,497	I pierced my tongue when I was 18 (I'm 24 now). It never got infected and I took all the precautions I had to to keep it that way. Lost about 10 lbs in the process by the way. They did tell me not to take it off at all for at least a month or two and twist it so my tongue wouldn't heal around it. In other words so it wouldn't stay stuck to the tongue bar. It's better to let her keep it till it heals completely and then have her take it out. They advised me the same thing as my dad threatened to tear out my tongue if I didn't take it off. LOL. Well he let me keep it until it healed and then took it from me. LOL. I went to buy another. I was 18 and lived in the softball dorm so technically wasn't living under his roof nor ate from his table. That was my reasoning back then anyways. Anyhow, I agree with there being repercussions to her having pierced it without permission, but I would suggest to let it heal first. Then take it from her. If she's going to keep it off after only a month and then for four years after that. She would need to pierce it again for her to be able to wear a tongue bar again. How did she get consent to get it pierced? You have to sign a waiver? Hmmmm....well good luck and I hope you come home safely. Oh yess, tonz and tonz of mouth wash and anything acidic brings unbelievable pain. My husband's is also pierced and he was in the Navy by the way. SHHHHHHH! __________________ Holly s Lucky and BFF Queequeg too "Every day is a Holly-Day" Last edited by Holly_QD; 07-19-2007 at 06:51 PM.

07-19-2007, 08:40 PM	#14
yesenia83 Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: bronx, new york Posts: 255	I have a piercing. Im 24 and my piercing was done at 17. It can take 6 months to a year to heal. she needs to keep it clean daily with Gylocide and listerine , everytime she eats she should rinse her mouth. As far as tooth chipping, that because the balls are too big ( lol.. that dosent sound right but you get me). I have a small ball bearing and small ends because i may be loud but have a small mouth. There are different types of ball bearings, balls and they even have some that are flat ontop to make it unnoticable. I got my piecing because i like the look, but i also wasnt the ridiculous teen walking around with my tongue sticking out. Most people dont even know i have one. I'm not a mom but i have a lil sister. if she wants the piecring, take away all of her other goodies, cell phone, pc, video games systems, she cant go out the summer, i could stay here all night thinking of punishments . One thing i wanted to also mention, the tongue will take that long to heal so the opening will stay...but if you want that the entire thing close up, she can remove the ring now and clean her tongue as she would have if she had it on. sucking on ice helps the swelling if she put ice right away. the reason people get infected when they remove the ring so soon is because they assume that since the rring isnt on they dont have to keep on with the treatment. the treatment ( ring or not) is to keep the tongue from infecting. hope this help. __________________ Snuggles Snitch Spyro www.dogster.com/dogs/281277 www.dogster.com/dogs/281283 www.dogster.com/dogs/411121

07-20-2007, 12:01 AM	#15
BubblPopElectrc Kyle Plus 3 Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 6,929	I say you make her take it out. I'm all for self-expression BUT you did ask/tell her not to do it, so she shouldn't have. I know a few people in the past who had tongue piercings, and I'd say a good half of them chipped a tooth. I'd also mention her how a lot (not all) jobs shun upon visible piercings. They really could effect her chances getting a job- especially in certain areas. IMO, they are really trashy looking, and I hate going to a restaurant or some place like that and the worker has a tongue ring. Yuck.