Something to debate... Let's keep it civil. - YorkieTalk.com Forums

JeanieK · 03-17-2007, 06:40 AM

My daughter belongs to a Baby Talk forum for pregnant women. Some of the women were telling how they tell off their mothers. Tell them to F off and Go to He** and such.

My daughter posted that she can't believe that these women actually talk to their mothers that way. She said I wouldn't dream of talking to mine that way.

They commented that it's obvious that she lets her mother walk all over her and control her. That you have to put mothers in their place or they will try to run your life. That mothers need to earn your respect that you don't just give it to them.

Obviously these women believe that all mother/daughter relationships are like this

All 5 of my daughters are very sweet, and I do not meddle in their lives. I make suggestions, they can take them or leave them. I trust that my daughters are capable of making their own decisions because I raised them to do that.

Now my DIL is disrespectful, and for the past 4 years she has been telling me what I should and should not be doing. And it has nolthing to do with raising kids. she lives in the UK. I never see her kids.

The last fight was she didn't like the way she was informed of the birth of my latest grand child and then she accused me of not having given her first kid a gift when it was born, and this escalated to her telling me she hated me, calling me a "stupid old lady" blocking all my emails and telling me I would never see my son or my grandchildren again..

The debate is. Should mothers and MILs be talked to this way or should they be respected just because they are your parents.

Grayson's mom · 03-17-2007, 06:45 AM

I would never dream of talking to my mother (may she rest in peace) or talk to my MIL that way! I was raised to show respect, but if I have an opinion to express it not yell it or be rude.

Geeze, sounds like you did a good job raising your daughter, your son on the other hand, why is he allowing you to be disrespected in that way? I'm sorry your dil is such a pain that way!

JeanieK · 03-17-2007, 06:50 AM

I believe that she would make his life hell if he said a word about it. But I agree he should "man up" and say something.

My daughters all told her that they did not approve of their mother being disrespected, so she blocked them from her emails too. I personally think she needs help. she is a very unhappy person, but that's aother story.

Peters · 03-17-2007, 06:51 AM

only someone who wasn't raised right would act that way towards their mothers parents or any elders for that fact!! if i woulda talked to my parents that way i would be toothless! sad fact is that kids these days act like that all the time and arent held responsible for their actions so they dont know any better. i think its disgusting! bring back the paddles and backhands abusive as that may seem i bet it would stop alot of smartmouths in their tracks! booooooo bad manners & disrespect!

sashajade · 03-17-2007, 06:51 AM

my mum died 8 years ago and im so glad we had a really close bond so these women who do talk to there mothers like that will live to regret it when they have no mother

i would never talk to my mum like that and i would never be rude to my partners mum, if she did do something that upset me i would just talk to her nicely

you said these are mums to be that are saying this stuff to there mums well you just wait till there are giving birth i bet the person they want will be there mums, and i wonder how they would feel if there children grow up to talk to them like it.
even if i didnt get on with my partners mum i would never stop her from seeing my partner or any children we had.

Little Bit · 03-17-2007, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grayson's mom

I would never dream of talking to my mother (may she rest in peace) or talk to my MIL that way! I was raised to show respect, but if I have an opinion to express it not yell it or be rude.

Geeze, sounds like you did a good job raising your daughter, your son on the other hand, why is he allowing you to be disrespected in that way? I'm sorry your dil is such a pain that way!

Ditto!!!

Saleswman · 03-17-2007, 06:58 AM

I am here to tell you.......................NO WAY.....NOT in MY lifetime....would I EVER Disrespect ANY other woman like that....esp NOT my MOM.

I too, am surprised that your SON allows that behavior!!!!

If all women don't respect and take care of each other.....who will???????????

I have three sons....and they may get mad at me....but, that kind of behavior is not tolerated...and they know it! And as far as my MOM goes.....NOT!!

JeanieK · 03-17-2007, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peters

only someone who wasn't raised right would act that way towards their mothers parents or any elders for that fact!! if i woulda talked to my parents that way i would be toothless! sad fact is that kids these days act like that all the time and arent held responsible for their actions so they dont know any better. i think its disgusting! bring back the paddles and backhands abusive as that may seem i bet it would stop alot of smartmouths in their tracks! booooooo bad manners & disrespect!

I agree, they talk like that to teachers, bosses, police anyone.

LOL I would be toothless too. If we had spoken that way to our mother, we would have had to deal with our dad.

bren · 03-17-2007, 07:08 AM

My mom and I are close and I would never be that rude and disrespectful toward her but there have been times that she has overstepped her boundaries and when I tell her about it we argue, then work it out. I'm glad I'm able to do that. I don't agree that it is appropriate to be mean and nasty and disrespect your parents or elders however, I do feel that it is appropriate to defend yourself in some situations. I've never had to experience it personally with my own parents but not all parents feel that respect is a two-way street. Some are not satisfied with their own lives and how things turned out and they are mean spirited, nasty toward the world, and treat people, including their children and other family members like garbage. They are only happy when misfortune falls upon other people. I know people who are like this and if I had to grow up in a situation like that with parents like that, I just know what my reaction would be toward them

ARCHIE · 03-17-2007, 07:19 AM

IMO if you raise your daughters and sons with respect for them then
they should have respect for you. Being a parent does not necessary earn you respect. There are lots of so called parents who are biological parents and do nothing in the way of raising decent children. Obviously your DIL is one of them and has no respect
for her own mother. Very sad. There is no way on earth I would allow my daughters or DIL to talk to me in such a manner. I am so sorry your son has not
put her in her place out of respect for you. He should without you even
opening your mouth. This should be such a happy time for you with
all those babies on the way. Is it at all possible that she feels jealous
of your three girls and the relationship between all of you? Any way you
can give it one more try and talk to her? I hope it gets better for you.

As far as the Baby Talk site that alone tells you what their own children
are going to end up like. If they feel that way about their own mothers
dollars to donuts their own children will follow in their footsteps.

JeanieK · 03-17-2007, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bren

My mom and I are close and I would never be that rude and disrespectful toward her but there have been times that she has overstepped her boundaries and when I tell her about it we argue, then work it out. I'm glad I'm able to do that. I don't agree that it is appropriate to be mean and nasty and disrespect your parents or elders however, I do feel that it is appropriate to defend yourself in some situations. I've never had to experience it personally with my own parents but not all parents feel that respect is a two-way street. Some are not satisfied with their own lives and how things turned out and they are mean spirited, nasty toward the world, and treat people, including their children and other family members like garbage. They are only happy when misfortune falls upon other people. I know people who are like this and if I had to grow up in a situation like that with parents like that, I just know what my reaction would be toward them

You make a very good point. And I agree that you don't have to be a doormat to be respectful, but there are ways of disagreeing without being disrespectful. Cussing and name calling just aren't called for.

Parents do have to respect their children and respect that they are a separate family.

Yorkieluv · 03-17-2007, 07:20 AM

My mom and I are best friends. I would never even think about disrespecting her or any elders! I can't believe the women on that forum talk that way. How sad...I feel for their children. Mothers, MIL, parents, etc. should be treated with respect. If you disagree with them, then do it in a civil manner, not by bein disrespectful. What is this world coming to? It breaks my heart to hear that people actually talk to their parents that way.

magnolia · 03-17-2007, 07:26 AM

I fall into the majority here - I would never, ever disrespect my mother by yelling at her, belittling her, nothing. My mother raised me with a lot of love and discipline and to have respect for others - not just my elders. I was raised in a time where everyone said "Please", "Thank You", "Yes M'am or Sir". I have tried to raise my boys in the same manner in which I was raised, to appreciate what you have and more important, to appreciate and respect others. I may have my arguments with my mom - what child doesn't? And what child doesn't think, at times, their parent is being "mean"? I had plenty of times as a child I thought my mom was mean and hateful but I know now, as an adult, decisions she made on my behalf were for my best interest and not out of any selfishness on her part.

To those girls who are being so hateful on the site your daughter is on, one day, they will wake up and their mom will be gone - can't help but wonder how they'll feel when that happens. Life is way too short - appreciate those around you now for nothing lasts forever.

LIL MIS' MAGIC · 03-17-2007, 07:27 AM

I was always taught that respect is earned. It is sad that people think they can demand respect by calling names or tlalking to rudely!

AngelWorks · 03-17-2007, 07:32 AM

I treat others as I am treated. Treat me respectfully and I will treat you respectfully. Wheather we have anything in common or the makings of a close relationship is another matter.

Treat me as your DIL is--- I would be cival around her, but would not engage in any of her messes. She would be spinning on her own alone.

She must be very insecure to throw around such threats.

And no-- not all Mother/daughter relationships are or have to be that way.

03-17-2007, 06:40 AM	#1
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	Something to debate... Let's keep it civil. My daughter belongs to a Baby Talk forum for pregnant women. Some of the women were telling how they tell off their mothers. Tell them to F off and Go to He** and such. My daughter posted that she can't believe that these women actually talk to their mothers that way. She said I wouldn't dream of talking to mine that way. They commented that it's obvious that she lets her mother walk all over her and control her. That you have to put mothers in their place or they will try to run your life. That mothers need to earn your respect that you don't just give it to them. Obviously these women believe that all mother/daughter relationships are like this All 5 of my daughters are very sweet, and I do not meddle in their lives. I make suggestions, they can take them or leave them. I trust that my daughters are capable of making their own decisions because I raised them to do that. Now my DIL is disrespectful, and for the past 4 years she has been telling me what I should and should not be doing. And it has nolthing to do with raising kids. she lives in the UK. I never see her kids. The last fight was she didn't like the way she was informed of the birth of my latest grand child and then she accused me of not having given her first kid a gift when it was born, and this escalated to her telling me she hated me, calling me a "stupid old lady" blocking all my emails and telling me I would never see my son or my grandchildren again.. The debate is. Should mothers and MILs be talked to this way or should they be respected just because they are your parents.

03-17-2007, 06:45 AM	#2
Grayson's mom Mommy's Little Boo Boo Donating Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Virgina Posts: 3,734	I would never dream of talking to my mother (may she rest in peace) or talk to my MIL that way! I was raised to show respect, but if I have an opinion to express it not yell it or be rude. Geeze, sounds like you did a good job raising your daughter, your son on the other hand, why is he allowing you to be disrespected in that way? I'm sorry your dil is such a pain that way! __________________ Proud mom to Grayson Abby Dusty Pepper Ryan Gabriel and of course me Diane Grayson loves Tia

03-17-2007, 06:51 AM	#4
Peters YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Alabama Posts: 2,225	only someone who wasn't raised right would act that way towards their mothers parents or any elders for that fact!! if i woulda talked to my parents that way i would be toothless! sad fact is that kids these days act like that all the time and arent held responsible for their actions so they dont know any better. i think its disgusting! bring back the paddles and backhands abusive as that may seem i bet it would stop alot of smartmouths in their tracks! booooooo bad manners & disrespect! __________________ A pet's love is true right from the start, through good times and bad, like sharing one heart.

03-17-2007, 06:51 AM	#5
sashajade YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: kent england Posts: 1,646	my mum died 8 years ago and im so glad we had a really close bond so these women who do talk to there mothers like that will live to regret it when they have no mother i would never talk to my mum like that and i would never be rude to my partners mum, if she did do something that upset me i would just talk to her nicely you said these are mums to be that are saying this stuff to there mums well you just wait till there are giving birth i bet the person they want will be there mums, and i wonder how they would feel if there children grow up to talk to them like it. even if i didnt get on with my partners mum i would never stop her from seeing my partner or any children we had. __________________ Facebook group yorkies & small terriers worlwide needing fur-ever homes & deathrow Zac Brandi Suki

03-17-2007, 06:58 AM	#7
Saleswman Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 1,643	Omg.... I am here to tell you.......................NO WAY.....NOT in MY lifetime....would I EVER Disrespect ANY other woman like that....esp NOT my MOM. I too, am surprised that your SON allows that behavior!!!! If all women don't respect and take care of each other.....who will??????????? I have three sons....and they may get mad at me....but, that kind of behavior is not tolerated...and they know it! And as far as my MOM goes.....NOT!!

03-17-2007, 06:50 AM	#3
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	I believe that she would make his life hell if he said a word about it. But I agree he should "man up" and say something. My daughters all told her that they did not approve of their mother being disrespected, so she blocked them from her emails too. I personally think she needs help. she is a very unhappy person, but that's aother story.

03-17-2007, 07:08 AM	#9
bren Slave to Max 'n Abbie Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Pittsburgh Posts: 1,529	My mom and I are close and I would never be that rude and disrespectful toward her but there have been times that she has overstepped her boundaries and when I tell her about it we argue, then work it out. I'm glad I'm able to do that. I don't agree that it is appropriate to be mean and nasty and disrespect your parents or elders however, I do feel that it is appropriate to defend yourself in some situations. I've never had to experience it personally with my own parents but not all parents feel that respect is a two-way street. Some are not satisfied with their own lives and how things turned out and they are mean spirited, nasty toward the world, and treat people, including their children and other family members like garbage. They are only happy when misfortune falls upon other people. I know people who are like this and if I had to grow up in a situation like that with parents like that, I just know what my reaction would be toward them __________________ Brenda, Max & Abbie

03-17-2007, 07:19 AM	#10
ARCHIE No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK Posts: 16,218	IMO if you raise your daughters and sons with respect for them then they should have respect for you. Being a parent does not necessary earn you respect. There are lots of so called parents who are biological parents and do nothing in the way of raising decent children. Obviously your DIL is one of them and has no respect for her own mother. Very sad. There is no way on earth I would allow my daughters or DIL to talk to me in such a manner. I am so sorry your son has not put her in her place out of respect for you. He should without you even opening your mouth. This should be such a happy time for you with all those babies on the way. Is it at all possible that she feels jealous of your three girls and the relationship between all of you? Any way you can give it one more try and talk to her? I hope it gets better for you. As far as the Baby Talk site that alone tells you what their own children are going to end up like. If they feel that way about their own mothers dollars to donuts their own children will follow in their footsteps.

03-17-2007, 07:20 AM	#12
Yorkieluv Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: USA Posts: 7,178	My mom and I are best friends. I would never even think about disrespecting her or any elders! I can't believe the women on that forum talk that way. How sad...I feel for their children. Mothers, MIL, parents, etc. should be treated with respect. If you disagree with them, then do it in a civil manner, not by bein disrespectful. What is this world coming to? It breaks my heart to hear that people actually talk to their parents that way. __________________ Miko 's his Mommy

03-17-2007, 07:26 AM	#13
magnolia YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Mississippi Posts: 1,459	I fall into the majority here - I would never, ever disrespect my mother by yelling at her, belittling her, nothing. My mother raised me with a lot of love and discipline and to have respect for others - not just my elders. I was raised in a time where everyone said "Please", "Thank You", "Yes M'am or Sir". I have tried to raise my boys in the same manner in which I was raised, to appreciate what you have and more important, to appreciate and respect others. I may have my arguments with my mom - what child doesn't? And what child doesn't think, at times, their parent is being "mean"? I had plenty of times as a child I thought my mom was mean and hateful but I know now, as an adult, decisions she made on my behalf were for my best interest and not out of any selfishness on her part. To those girls who are being so hateful on the site your daughter is on, one day, they will wake up and their mom will be gone - can't help but wonder how they'll feel when that happens. Life is way too short - appreciate those around you now for nothing lasts forever. __________________ Suzi - mom to Gabby and Gage For Mickey

03-17-2007, 07:27 AM	#14
LIL MIS' MAGIC Yorkie Lover Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Midlothian, Texas Posts: 4,377 Blog Entries: 3	I was always taught that respect is earned. It is sad that people think they can demand respect by calling names or tlalking to rudely! __________________ Kristin, Mom to: Lil Mis Magic, Sailor and Captain

03-17-2007, 07:32 AM	#15
AngelWorks Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: NY Posts: 1,752	I treat others as I am treated. Treat me respectfully and I will treat you respectfully. Wheather we have anything in common or the makings of a close relationship is another matter. Treat me as your DIL is--- I would be cival around her, but would not engage in any of her messes. She would be spinning on her own alone. She must be very insecure to throw around such threats. And no-- not all Mother/daughter relationships are or have to be that way.