Opinions Needed!!

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by Kenzies Grandma

My husband and I have been married for 35 yrs so needless to say I don't look like any of the girls in these magazines or on internet sites. However I also have to say that I don't need to worry about it because both my husband and I have the same view of marriage. And that is that the only one whom we want to have those kind of thoughts about are each other. It is definitely a case of love and respect, your husband should love you as he does himself and I can't really see most men being OK with their wives fantasizing about someone else. If you don't have trust, love and respect in your marriage it will never last against all the pressures that our world puts on it. Just my opinion, but I would have a serious talk with your husband so he knows how it makes you feel, and at the same time ask him how he would feel about you doing the same. Remember you both promised to love and honor each other. Ok, lol, I'll get off my soapbox now. (I just really think that there would be a lot less divorce if people really tried to live up to their vows instead of thinking of themselves first).

Well Said!!!
The conversation has not been brought up since I started this thread, I know he has these mags at work, and I know he is not the only one who looks at them, I mean men will be men, my husband says no man is inocent and they ALL look, it's just natural. He says he dosent mean to, it just happens and he says alot of times he dosent even realize he is doing it, he dosent gawk or stare, but if he see's a attractive female, he looks. I admit, I do the same thing, we were down at are park today for a concert and there was a few guys that made my head turn, and my husband was right there with me, and I will say there were ALOT of females down there that needed to cover up or put a bra on lol
I guess I just have to see it as he is married to me, I know he would never hurt me or betray me in anyway, we love each other dearly, we waited many years to find each other and the love we share is unconditional and rare.
I just hope that if he does look at these at work, I get the payoffs at home!!! and I will say, I cant complain!

[my2boyz]

Originally Posted by Kenzies Grandma

My husband and I have been married for 35 yrs so needless to say I don't look like any of the girls in these magazines or on internet sites. However I also have to say that I don't need to worry about it because both my husband and I have the same view of marriage. And that is that the only one whom we want to have those kind of thoughts about are each other. It is definitely a case of love and respect, your husband should love you as he does himself and I can't really see most men being OK with their wives fantasizing about someone else. If you don't have trust, love and respect in your marriage it will never last against all the pressures that our world puts on it. Just my opinion, but I would have a serious talk with your husband so he knows how it makes you feel, and at the same time ask him how he would feel about you doing the same. Remember you both promised to love and honor each other. Ok, lol, I'll get off my soapbox now. (I just really think that there would be a lot less divorce if people really tried to live up to their vows instead of thinking of themselves first).

Amen!! We've been married for 25 years and have the same views on marriage. Personally, I feel if a man loves and respects his wife and if he's happy in his marriage he should have no interest in looking at or thinking about another woman...her self esteem shouldn't even be an issue. When my husband is with me I want it to be because he's thinking about me and no one else...and no, there are none of those books in our home, he doesn't look at them here or anywhere else.

[baby03]

I am not insecure.......... I have been married for 16 years...... AND IMO you are right to not want your husband to read those magazines!!! Turn the tables on him and buy play girl !! Believe me it'll work.

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by baby03

I am not insecure.......... I have been married for 16 years...... AND IMO you are right to not want your husband to read those magazines!!! Turn the tables on him and buy play girl !! Believe me it'll work.

I know a lot of you have suggested to go out and buy a play girl, but does 2 wrongs make a right? I don't know, I just dont care to look at them naked guys and most of them are probably gay (not that there is anything wrong with that lol) but it's just not my cup of tea.

The conversation has not been brought up since I started this thread, I know he has these mags at work, and I know he is not the only one who looks at them, I mean men will be men, my husband says no man is inocent and they ALL look, it's just natural. He says he dosent mean to, it just happens and he says alot of times he dosent even realize he is doing it, he dosent gawk or stare, but if he see's a attractive female, he looks. I admit, I do the same thing, we were down at are park today for a concert and there was a few guys that made my head turn, and my husband was right there with me, and I will say there were ALOT of females down there that needed to cover up or put a bra on lol
I guess I just have to see it as he is married to me, I know he would never hurt me or betray me in anyway, we love each other dearly, we waited many years to find each other and the love we share is unconditional and rare.
I just hope that if he does look at these at work, I get the payoffs at home!!! and I will say, I cant complain!

[Rae Rae]

I wouldn't care if my boyfriend read playboy. I comment on other guys looks and he knows I don't mind looking at male models, so I treat him the same. I know that even though were both very serious about eachother, we still think others look good. That doesn't mean we want them, or want to do them. It's just eyecandy. I do feel it has to do w/ security. I know my bodies not perfect, and I want to lose some wieght, but I in no way feel threatened if he comments on another girl looking good. I know he loves me w/ all my heart and wants to marry me one day, that's all that matters to me That's just how I feel about it.

It's definitly something you and your hubby should work on though, if it makes you feel bad he should respect that no matter what the reason may be.

Oh and if he pleasures himself to the mags, well then that's compeltely different, theres definitly something wrong there..but if it's just looking then I don't think theres anything wrong w/ it (just my opinion though)

[Dan & Corinne]

Originally Posted by Rae Rae

I wouldn't care if my boyfriend read playboy. I comment on other guys looks and he knows I don't mind looking at male models, so I treat him the same. I know that even though were both very serious about eachother, we still think others look good. That doesn't mean we want them, or want to do them. It's just eyecandy. I do feel it has to do w/ security. I know my bodies not perfect, and I want to lose some wieght, but I in no way feel threatened if he comments on another girl looking good. I know he loves me w/ all my heart and wants to marry me one day, that's all that matters to me That's just how I feel about it.

I feel the same way. They are like 12 year olds, hiding and peeking at a National Geographic issue on tribal women! Maybe they like the thrill of looking at things they know they are not supposed to.

As for the mags in the men's room at work... What the heck kind of work allows that??? How many actual hours are they putting into really working? Wouldn't that fall under the Sexual Harassment law?

[Rae Rae]

Originally Posted by Dan & Corinne

I feel the same way. They are like 12 year olds, hiding and peeking at a National Geographic issue on tribal women! Maybe they like the thrill of looking at things they know they are not supposed to.

As for the mags in the men's room at work... What the heck kind of work allows that??? How many actual hours are they putting into really working? Wouldn't that fall under the Sexual Harassment law?

Probably depends on the job. I used to work at a small (well made a lot of money though) company and we always had dirty inside jokes, talked about sex, and had porn emails going around. No job will ever compare to that...and people at my new job say it's laid back here! I'm like "You guys have no idea..."

I never felt harrased because it was all adult and no one came onto me, except one time a customer came in and pointed out a cosmopolitain issue that had "THE BIG O" On the cover and started asking me questions regaurding me! I was like "My boyfriend takes care of that" w/ an attitude, and told someone asap. Ever since that I was rude whenever he came in.

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by Dan & Corinne

I feel the same way. They are like 12 year olds, hiding and peeking at a National Geographic issue on tribal women! Maybe they like the thrill of looking at things they know they are not supposed to.

As for the mags in the men's room at work... What the heck kind of work allows that??? How many actual hours are they putting into really working? Wouldn't that fall under the Sexual Harassment law?

your 100% right, no place of work should allow such a thing. He works in a small dept that has only men, they have a office where they can escape from the factory, they really have it made, I would say out of the 8 hours he works he actually works only MAYBE 3 hours. BUT hehehehehe in 2 weeks he is going to a new department and it's going to be much more demanding, this was his choice, he applied for the new position, it's more money, so YAY!!!!!
He has worked at this company for 12 years and up until 1 yr ago they even had the internet in the office. But finally someone got smart and figured out that they were surfing the net and put a stop to it, now they can only look at sites like bank accounts, weather, or any secured site.
I have came into see him before and there were guys in the office sleeping and just goofing off, If this place actually new what these guys were up to they all would be fired.

[oceanair27]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years. But when we first met he was getting playboy mags and had a box of them from the past that he kept his favorites in, and tossed the rest. I did NOT have a low self esteem at all at that time. I told him that I thought they were very distasteful,and I dont want them around if we were to be a couple. He then said The same thing your husband said (I only buy them for their very interesting articles). I said OH! Ok! then thats not a problem. He came home from work the next day and found all the nudy picture had been cut out of his mags. I have to say, he was not to happy to start with, but then started to laugh and said If I had known that it bothered you that much I would have gotten rid of them. He is such a sweetie, and I'll have you know to this day I havent seen another playboy in my house.lol.

[yougetthesmiles]

Originally Posted by oceanair27

My boyfriend and I have been together for 12 years. But when we first met he was getting playboy mags and had a box of them from the past that he kept his favorites in, and tossed the rest. I did NOT have a low self esteem at all at that time. I told him that I thought they were very distasteful,and I dont want them around if we were to be a couple. He then said The same thing your husband said (I only buy them for their very interesting articles). I said OH! Ok! then thats not a problem. He came home from work the next day and found all the nudy picture had been cut out of his mags. I have to say, he was not to happy to start with, but then started to laugh and said If I had known that it bothered you that much I would have gotten rid of them. He is such a sweetie, and I'll have you know to this day I havent seen another playboy in my house.lol.

I love that!!!! and I have thought about doing that!!!!!

[Catrina]

Hi,

I am not insecure as well, but I would NEVER let my boyfriend look at it! (and no he is not secretly doing it behind my back =P )

I would feel totally uncomfortable.. and if it makes YOU feel uncomfortable then he should respect that and not look and read those articles.

I feel like guys should feel that their girlfriends/wives are the most beautiful women, inside and out and SHOULD not be looking at those magazines if they are in a committed relationship!!

You should tell him that if it makes you feel unhappy and maybe more insecure, then why is he doing it. If he knows you are already insecure, he is making it worse. Sorry, but I think what he is doing is wrong.

Good luck to you~!

[baby03]

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles

I know a lot of you have suggested to go out and buy a play girl, but does 2 wrongs make a right? I don't know, I just dont care to look at them naked guys and most of them are probably gay (not that there is anything wrong with that lol) but it's just not my cup of tea.

The conversation has not been brought up since I started this thread, I know he has these mags at work, and I know he is not the only one who looks at them, I mean men will be men, my husband says no man is inocent and they ALL look, it's just natural. He says he dosent mean to, it just happens and he says alot of times he dosent even realize he is doing it, he dosent gawk or stare, but if he see's a attractive female, he looks. I admit, I do the same thing, we were down at are park today for a concert and there was a few guys that made my head turn, and my husband was right there with me, and I will say there were ALOT of females down there that needed to cover up or put a bra on lol
I guess I just have to see it as he is married to me, I know he would never hurt me or betray me in anyway, we love each other dearly, we waited many years to find each other and the love we share is unconditional and rare.
I just hope that if he does look at these at work, I get the payoffs at home!!! and I will say, I cant complain!

GROSS!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't look at them !!!!! Just threaten!!! Sweetie I know how you feel!! Its hurtful and your feelings should be the most important thing to your husband!! To me its disrespectful and I wouldn't want my husband looking at that!! My mother n law however is fine with her husband reading that!! Its really embarassing when we visit!!! I don't know!!! If your okay with him looking at that at work that is all that matters!! I wish the best for you both!! It seems that you both have come to an uderstanding. I am glad for you!! To be honest who doesn't look!! You both have honesty and that is great!!

[Rae Rae]

For those of you who dissaprove of this magazine and say you don't have low self esteem, can you please explain to me why your so against them? I know I'm a lot younger than some of you on here, so is it your generation?

[sashajade]

Originally Posted by Rae Rae

For those of you who dissaprove of this magazine and say you don't have low self esteem, can you please explain to me why your so against them? I know I'm a lot younger than some of you on here, so is it your generation?

im 31 and i dont mind the mags but i wouldnt want my bf looking at them behind my back sex is something you share and do together so that should be too if both agree but if one dont like it then respect the other and dont do it, some men dont like women having shall we say ladies toys so those ladies should respect there partner and not use them , some men dont mind if they are inclued so i think its the same kind of thing.

[Rae Rae]

Originally Posted by sashajade

im 31 and i dont mind the mags but i wouldnt want my bf looking at them behind my back sex is something you share and do together so that should be too if both agree but if one dont like it then respect the other and dont do it, some men dont like women having shall we say ladies toys so those ladies should respect there partner and not use them , some men dont mind if they are inclued so i think its the same kind of thing.

Well if the guy lies about it, then it's wrong...the fact of lying itself is whats wrong w/ it to me. But I mean about guys who are open about it. I know I would never tolerate it if my boyfriend lied to me about anything.