Is anyone else SICK & TIRED of MEANIES on YT?

[BamaFan121s]

"Internet gangsters"....that's a new one. Very creative.

I'm sure if the "gangsters" started coming up with slang terms and labels for those that are so easily offended--like "whiners" or "crybabies" or something, then that wouldn't be acceptable?

[Hazelzmibaybee]

Originally Posted by BamaFan121s

"Internet gangsters"....that's a new one. Very creative.

I'm sure if the "gangsters" started coming up with slang terms and labels for those that are so easily offended--like "whiners" or "crybabies" or something, then that wouldn't be acceptable?

yes internet gangster... and i haven't seen any "whiners" or "crybabies" on this sight. just those requesting a pleasant experience. that is all. buttttt as said before, its a public site, so people will say what they want.

[107barney]

[QUOTE=cally930;3272397]Sometimes people tend to ask a question - and in return - want an answer to that question - that is all. What I have found on this forum is that sometimes people go beyond just answering the question - and giving an unsolicited opinion. Sometimes (I do mean sometimes) some older ones (not age) tend to act as if this is the "good old boys club" and make the newbies feel like they have to earn their place on this forum. Sometimes, people on here forget their manners.

I mean......... if I were in front of you - would you answer me the same way? A little bit of "putting the brain in gear before you put your words in motion" would help. And if you have been hearing about the meanness so much - well don't you think that it is true and that some people are offended? This should be a place where people are not afraid to ask a question - and you know........... it is. That is all.[/QUOTE]


It also should be a place where those people who tend to answer the questions that are asked still continue to do so in the face of being called meanies and bullies. Those meanies and bullies are the ones who are up at 3 AM with an owner in need or who will get on the phone and offer support. I've been there and some of the meanest people on here were RIGHT THERE when Barney had life threatening pancreatitis or when Daisy was hobbling on one leg or when Teddy had a seizure. I have also been on the other side of it - consoling someone who lost their dog, giving home cooked diet information, taking time out of my busy day to write a post or when asked make a phone call to a complete stranger just to give an ear or a shoulder. And sometimes all of those efforts go compeletely unnoticed or unappreciated. But, the people who may seem mean may be one of the best resources when you find you may need it.... Just saying...

[boopster]

It may also be that they come off sounding harsh because they care so much about their topic. I had someone contact me privately about breeders, and on first reading I thought they sounded a little harsh. On second reading, though, I realized that they had very strong feelings on the subject and cared enough to try to help me avoid potentially tragic decisions. And what they said was absolutely right.

Come to think of it, I need to go back and thank that person because I did take her advice to heart and it helped influence the decision I made when choosing my puppy.

[BamaFan121s]

Originally Posted by Hazelzmibaybee

yes internet gangster... and i haven't seen any "whiners" or "crybabies" on this sight. just those requesting a pleasant experience.

Perfect example of a matter of opinion and perception. I see things just the opposite. Maybe someone else sees lots of complainers and no meanies...

How do you think it would be received if I started a thread entitled "Is anyone else SICK & TIRED of CRYBABIES on YT?"

The "do unto others" and "treat others as you would want to be treated" proverbs work both ways. Just sayin'...

[Rhetts_mama]

Originally Posted by cally930

Sometimes people tend to ask a question - and in return - want an answer to that question - that is all. What I have found on this forum is that sometimes people go beyond just answering the question - and giving an unsolicited opinion. Sometimes (I do mean sometimes) some older ones (not age) tend to act as if this is the "good old boys club" and make the newbies feel like they have to earn their place on this forum. Sometimes, people on here forget their manners.

I mean......... if I were in front of you - would you answer me the same way? A little bit of "putting the brain in gear before you put your words in motion" would help. And if you have been hearing about the meanness so much - well don't you think that it is true and that some people are offended? This should be a place where people are not afraid to ask a question - and you know........... it is. That is all.

I can't speak for anyone else. But for me the answer is "most likely, yes". The question becomes, would you take it the same way? So much is lost with just text. Tone, inflection, body language...

No matter what side of any issue or discussion you come down on, someone with opposing views is going to consider what you say either: harsh, mean or just plain stupid. Same thing in real life. It really comes down to their filters and what they are getting from what you say. I can't control that, you can't control it.

Also sometimes, people come on and say something that makes people want to just smack their (own) heads against the desk. I've seen some of the more experienced people on here show what I consider to be remarkable restraint. They keep in mind that other people will come afterwards and hopefully gain something from their insight. They also know that some of those same people who fight and whine when they don't like the answers given are often some of the same people who come running back as soon as they run in to a problem that could have been avoided. Growing up, my mother and grandmother used to say that part of their job was seeing around corners for me that I wasn't even aware were coming up. It drove me nuts at the time, but now that I have kids, I understand.

And then there are just some things that absolutely require outrage. Whether you agree with their take or depth of feeling on it or not, it's not being true to themselves or beliefs to let some things slide (puppy mills, breeders who haven't bothered to do things right and then come on here in a last minute panic, etc.) In those cases, sitting back and watching people pat themselves on the back is just not an option.

Some people need things sugar coated before they will listen. Others need a strong dose of reality. No thread is going to be all sunshine and lollipops. Take what you want from them, ignore what you don't.

[Justin]

Honestly this is the nicest forum I have ever been on. I am on plenty of forums where people will do nothing but chop away at and ridicule one another. This site is a walk in the park. You have to understand that a forum will reflect its end users which in this case is yorkie owners. This is not a car forum or a workout forum, so all the testosterone and anger is not present. It could use more of a male tough though....just sayinggggggg

[Reese1]

[quote=107barney;3272510]

Originally Posted by cally930

Sometimes people tend to ask a question - and in return - want an answer to that question - that is all. What I have found on this forum is that sometimes people go beyond just answering the question - and giving an unsolicited opinion. Sometimes (I do mean sometimes) some older ones (not age) tend to act as if this is the "good old boys club" and make the newbies feel like they have to earn their place on this forum. Sometimes, people on here forget their manners.

I mean......... if I were in front of you - would you answer me the same way? A little bit of "putting the brain in gear before you put your words in motion" would help. And if you have been hearing about the meanness so much - well don't you think that it is true and that some people are offended? This should be a place where people are not afraid to ask a question - and you know........... it is. That is all.[/QUOTE]



It also should be a place where those people who tend to answer the questions that are asked still continue to do so in the face of being called meanies and bullies. Those meanies and bullies are the ones who are up at 3 AM with an owner in need or who will get on the phone and offer support. I've been there and some of the meanest people on here were RIGHT THERE when Barney had life threatening pancreatitis or when Daisy was hobbling on one leg or when Teddy had a seizure. I have also been on the other side of it - consoling someone who lost their dog, giving home cooked diet information, taking time out of my busy day to write a post or when asked make a phone call to a complete stranger just to give an ear or a shoulder. And sometimes all of those efforts go compeletely unnoticed or unappreciated. But, the people who may seem mean may be one of the best resources when you find you may need it.... Just saying...

Good post!

Originally Posted by boopster

It may also be that they come off sounding harsh because they care so much about their topic. I had someone contact me privately about breeders, and on first reading I thought they sounded a little harsh. On second reading, though, I realized that they had very strong feelings on the subject and cared enough to try to help me avoid potentially tragic decisions. And what they said was absolutely right.

Come to think of it, I need to go back and thank that person because I did take her advice to heart and it helped influence the decision I made when choosing my puppy.

That's the way I feel is that people care enough and are passionate enough and for some that comes across as bluntness, but it comes from a good place!

[Reese1]

Originally Posted by Rhetts_mama

I can't speak for anyone else. But for me the answer is "most likely, yes". The question becomes, would you take it the same way? So much is lost with just text. Tone, inflection, body language...

No matter what side of any issue or discussion you come down on, someone with opposing views is going to consider what you say either: harsh, mean or just plain stupid. Same thing in real life. It really comes down to their filters and what they are getting from what you say. I can't control that, you can't control it.

Also sometimes, people come on and say something that makes people want to just smack their (own) heads against the desk. I've seen some of the more experienced people on here show what I consider to be remarkable restraint. They keep in mind that other people will come afterwards and hopefully gain something from their insight. They also know that some of those same people who fight and whine when they don't like the answers given are often some of the same people who come running back as soon as they run in to a problem that could have been avoided. Growing up, my mother and grandmother used to say that part of their job was seeing around corners for me that I wasn't even aware were coming up. It drove me nuts at the time, but now that I have kids, I understand.

And then there are just some things that absolutely require outrage. Whether you agree with their take or depth of feeling on it or not, it's not being true to themselves or beliefs to let some things slide (puppy mills, breeders who haven't bothered to do things right and then come on here in a last minute panic, etc.) In those cases, sitting back and watching people pat themselves on the back is just not an option.

Some people need things sugar coated before they will listen. Others need a strong dose of reality. No thread is going to be all sunshine and lollipops. Take what you want from them, ignore what you don't.

I agree, I would answer most of the time in the same way!
When my friends and family ask for my opinion, I quite often ask them if they want my opinion or do they want me to tell them what they want to hear. If they want an opinion, I'm happy to give it to them.
I tend to think sometimes people here ask for opinions and advice, but they really want people to tell them what they want to hear. Given this is a public forum, they will get the opinions!

[LDandPasquale]

I dont see any "meanies"...the only thing i see is people who CARE about yorkies..and passionately!

I dont care how its told as long as it helps yorkies and betters the breed. If the only thing that gets hurt are my feelings when trying to get advice...that is fine. As long as my yorkie is healthy and safe, i can live with hurt feelings.

I love this forum..it has taught me so much. Stay the way you are YT!

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by hartygirl

I'll tell you what I AM tired of..... Puppymills and animal cruelty. Lets discuss how we can change that!

Originally Posted by Reese1

Ditto! I would like to add BYB & greeders!

Amen sisters! If some of these people put even a 10th of the whining into making a positive change for the breed that we love even that would be positive.

and another thing...........

I'm so tired of threads like these.

[Hazelzmibaybee]

Originally Posted by BamaFan121s

Perfect example of a matter of opinion and perception. I see things just the opposite. Maybe someone else sees lots of complainers and no meanies...

How do you think it would be received if I started a thread entitled "Is anyone else SICK & TIRED of CRYBABIES on YT?"

The "do unto others" and "treat others as you would want to be treated" proverbs work both ways. Just sayin'...

don't get me wrong, i "do unto others" but when i feel as though some people don't respond as politely as they should, thats just my prerogative. i treat others how i want to me be treated, and if i feel like i'm being treated unjustly, i say something hence this thread. but i do understand what your saying.

[Hazelzmibaybee]

Originally Posted by megansmomma

Amen sisters! If some of these people put even a 10th of the whining into making a positive change for the breed that we love even that would be positive.

and another thing...........

I'm so tired of threads like these.

call me a whiner if you must . . . if i have something to say about people not being nice to me, thats my opinion. i wanted to make a thread about it.

another thing also if your so tired of threads like these, then why comment at all?

[gemy]

Hazel, I'm sorry if you were hurt by a post or two on your thread, or noting on some other threads ppl posting in a harsh, cruel, blunt, sarcastic, unfeeling, and lots of adjectives I can't think of now.

Some topics here will get very heated, and like an early poster on this thread said, we can all get our buttons pushed. Most here have a great love and passion for our beautiful breed.

If you ever venture over to the Breeding forum, or the showing forum, or even at times in the Sick and emergency forum, you for sure will see that passion come out.

Many of us here have very strongly held beliefs, and as another poster said, we are not just answering your question, but for future readers of this thread. One of my pet peeves is so many don't know or take the time to use the search feature, and often times this question has been asked and answered many many times.

The stickies seem to be underutillized too.

I would also like to emphasize what another poster said; some of the most blunt and no nonsense replies come from the self same folks, who let;s just say for instance, it is a whelping problem, reach out to another breeder here and will split shift, so that someone is on the phone with this person who likely a) has an accidental or oops pregnancy, b) has done little prep or planning or learning about whelping, and c) doesn't have a vet on call.

Most here do mean well, most have the dogs best interest at heart, not necessarily the human owner's. If I have to be very blunt and directive, to have a poster hear what you have on your hands is a medical emergency, get that dog to the vet now! Quite frankly I will.

This site has a wealth of information, try out that search feature, on a topic of interest near and dear to your heart about Yorkies, and you will likely get a least one page of threads pop up.

Go well give that Hazel baby a big hug.

[Ellie May]

I would say occasionally my responses are blunt and I don't always "move on" after I reply. Here is why. Dogs' lives are at stake. If I have to tell somebody that they need to go to the ER five times in five different ways, then I will. Simple as that. Of course there are a few posts here and there that are downright rude and uncalled for. The mods do a good job of removing them if they cross the line. But for the most part, it is just passionate people that are really frustrated with, say, 3 pound dogs being bred, etc. This is a fun Yorkie site, but having a breeding and ER section make it very serious at times.

If I think a dog is going to get hurt, then yes, sometimes I'll be blunt. I'd want someone to tell me how it is if my dog was in danger. I can't believe we almost bred her before YT just because nobody told me it was not a good idea. It's my fault for not looking it up, but I really had not much of a clue. Everything should be said nicely, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be said. And yes, it should be said over and over again on the same thread until the OP understands. At the very least, somebody else reading the thread with the same situation will benefit from it.

And sometimes I'll repeat myself several times just to make sure the OP take a particular view into consideration because there is quite a bit of questionable medical advice floating around here.