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Originally Posted by cally930  Sometimes people tend to ask a question - and in return - want an answer to that question - that is all. What I have found on this forum is that sometimes people go beyond just answering the question - and giving an unsolicited opinion. Sometimes (I do mean sometimes) some older ones (not age) tend to act as if this is the "good old boys club" and make the newbies feel like they have to earn their place on this forum. Sometimes, people on here forget their manners.
I mean......... if I were in front of you - would you answer me the same way? A little bit of "putting the brain in gear before you put your words in motion" would help. And if you have been hearing about the meanness so much - well don't you think that it is true and that some people are offended? This should be a place where people are not afraid to ask a question - and you know........... it is. That is all. |
I can't speak for anyone else. But for me the answer is "most likely, yes". The question becomes, would you take it the same way? So much is lost with just text. Tone, inflection, body language...
No matter what side of any issue or discussion you come down on, someone with opposing views is going to consider what you say either: harsh, mean or just plain stupid. Same thing in real life. It really comes down to their filters and what they are getting from what you say. I can't control that, you can't control it.
Also
sometimes, people come on and say something that makes people want to just smack their (own) heads against the desk. I've seen some of the more experienced people on here show what I consider to be remarkable restraint. They keep in mind that other people will come afterwards and hopefully gain something from their insight. They also know that some of those same people who fight and whine when they don't like the answers given are often some of the same people who come running back as soon as they run in to a problem that could have been avoided. Growing up, my mother and grandmother used to say that part of their job was seeing around corners for me that I wasn't even aware were coming up. It drove me nuts at the time, but now that I have kids, I understand.
And then there are just some things that absolutely require outrage. Whether you agree with their take or depth of feeling on it or not, it's not being true to themselves or beliefs to let some things slide (puppy mills, breeders who haven't bothered to do things right and then come on here in a last minute panic, etc.) In those cases, sitting back and watching people pat themselves on the back is just not an option.
Some people need things sugar coated before they will listen. Others need a strong dose of reality. No thread is going to be all sunshine and lollipops. Take what you want from them, ignore what you don't.