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Old 04-16-2008, 08:43 AM   #1
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Default Crabby today! I need to vent.. long!

Im so crabby today. I woke up crabby. I went to bed crabby last night. I was talking to the guy Im dating and he signed up months ago to coach his youngest son's baseball team this season. This is the last year he can do it because the school gets real coaches when the kids hit middle school. But its 2 months of EVERY SINGLE saturday and sunday in the middle of the afternoon. That leaves all weekend tied up where we cannot take off for a day because of this. I admire him for doing it and would never have asked him not to do it. I just feel I have the right to be bummed about it. He says he understands, but I don't think he does. BBAAAHHH

I have no kids, so I don't know the responsibilities that come with kids. What really gets to me though is he is fixed and does not want anymore kids... now Im thinking to myself, well if Im going to live my life already around HIS kids, then why does he not want another one with ME? (if we stay together and I decide I want one). I feel like its not fair to me! This is not his problem, this is my problem, I realize that.

Then my best friend of like forever has been giving me an attitude for about 3 months. She got married last Oct, then bought a house in March... Ive bent over backwards, kissing her a$$ in trying to make things right between us but I don't even know whats wrong. She is not happy about the guy Im dating because she is/was REALLY close friends with him and she thinks he used her to get to me (they have been friends for almost 8 years, we've been dating 4 months - does that make any sense at all???) Also she is being soooo self-absorbed since she starting LOOKING for a house, and worse since she bought her house. Everything is about her, her house, her husband, her kid, her purchases... If I tell her anything about anything else, she gives a half hearted response and is back on herself again. I have NO idea what her problem with me is lately. I feel like she is acting like she is superior to me for some reason. She knows I was looking for a car recently and she never asked me if I went to see it or test drive it and how I liked it, but suddenly she is looking for an SUV (same as me) with her husband I get the LONGEST email about that.

Then I wake up this morning early and fell back asleep and had VIVID dreams about my ex. I know dreams don't technically mean exactly what they were about, but in this dream, he wanted back together and I was torn between leaving where we were and staying. I just want to be over this guy. The break up was almost 3 years ago. We were together for 10 years, engaged, owned a home and when it broke up and I had to cancel the wedding, sell the house and buy my own place, you'd think that would have hardened me towards him completely but I guess not. I have not spoken to or seen him in more than 4 months, yet hes still 'there' in my head. As much as I am crazy about the guy Im dating ... he is still there in the back of my head and that drives me nuts!

Sorry this is so long! For those who read through it all THANK YOU! Im just feeling soooo BLAH today!
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Old 04-16-2008, 09:02 AM   #2
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welll,, Bless Your Heart!! sounds like you've got a lot going on ,, and a lot to think thru,, I wish you all the best and brightest!! Look to the Light!!

i've got the blahs here today too,, I'm fixing to MAKE myself get out of here and go workout!!

Take Care!!
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Old 04-16-2008, 09:12 AM   #3
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My, what a lot on your mind. No wonder you are crabby. Take a deep breath and try to relax. Take some time for yourself to try and think this thru. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 04-16-2008, 10:26 AM   #4
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AWwww.....if you were with someone for 10 yrs and had all that history, I don't think it's unusual that you still have feelings for him. I went with a guy for only 6 months and 10 yrs later I think about him! Some things just go that way. I think it makes you human b/c you shared so much together and just b/c it didn't work out as a FOREVER together relationship. it was important to you. I think people who spend that much time together and then act as if they never met the person are the losers of the world. Unless they were abused or tormented. But we all change over time and it's nice I think, when you just remember the good parts of a relationship (but can keep in mind that there was a good reason it didnt' last).

And as far as your friend and the house; I can say that when we were having our home built, and I was picking out countertops and carpeting and draperies, and window coverings and furniture and accessorties, and dealing with moving, it is sort of all you can think about. It's just such a big task and at least for me, a little overwhelming and all-consuming. Your friend will chill out eventually. It's a very exciting and stressful time, so if you can stand being relegated to a second class citizen for awhile, hopefully she'll come back down to earth. Just act interested in it all and I'm sure she'll do the same for you someday.

And the bf....I had one like that once~ he was a HS coach and not only was he involved all the time with the kids, he also had to go on scouting trips and on the weekends, he was either in a touch football league, a city basketball league or community softball league....I went to EVERY game, and even though it was a little annoying, the wives and other gf's of the guys bonded and was something we looked forward to sharing. You just have to decide if that's what you want.
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Old 04-16-2008, 10:45 AM   #5
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Sorry you are having a hard time right now. I can relate. Hope venting a little helps.I also hope your day gets better.
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Old 04-16-2008, 10:55 AM   #6
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no wonder you are feeling down, that is very crappy of your bff to make you feel that way and make everything all about her, do you think she even realizes it or is it becoming 2nd nature at this point.. I hope everything looks up for you soon, have a nice glass of wine
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Old 04-16-2008, 11:28 AM   #7
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Thanks ladies you are the best!!
I am having an Arbonne party friday night at my house. I invited my friend and she told me today she forgot to ask her hubby if he'll be home friday night so she can come, so I said dont forget to ask him tonight and she sent another email saying something like 'on second thought im not going to come. I have a bunch of stuff I dont even use anyways' so she cant even come to hang out! I sent her an email back saying 'suit yourself' and left it at that. Its just been about 3 months of this 'stuff' and Im tired of it. Ive tried to ask and talk to her, but nothing. I cant keep trying, its wearing at me. I have another friend who just bought a house and is planning a wedding and I havent spent nearly as much time helping her as I did this other friend. I feel badly about that. I sent her an email today saying how sorry I was that I spent so much time kissing this girls A$$ that I neglected her and all her good things that are going on.

Also I don't really mind the whole coaching thing, but if I go to the games, his ex-wife will be there and it will be uncomfortable for me. She has more rights to be there than I do and I wouldnt want to make her uncomfortable either.

As for my ex, its me who does not want to talk to him, or even look at him. He does nothing but bring me down. Everytime I start to feel better about everything that happens he pops back into the picture somehow and gets me down again. I hate that I spent so many years with a guy who turned out to be not the person I thought he was. I also hate that I let him do the things he did while we were in the relationship. He was so selfish and immature. He has a drinking problem and he wanted to party 24/7. He called me every name you can think of, and threated to leave me ALL THE TIME! I spent so much of that relationship 'alone' that I am soo independant now. When I see conflict arise with another guy Im dating it just makes me think "I dont need this, im better off alone" and end it. I don't want to end it with the guy im with now. Hes awesome and perfect for me. (despite the whole 'kids' thing - i may want one he wants no more thing) UUGGHHH

I can't seem to shake this mood! UGH!

On a positive note, I did find out today that I got a B+ in my MIS (management information systems) class! Im super happy bc it was a very difficult class!
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Old 04-16-2008, 11:49 AM   #8
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Well, congrats on your test!
Since it was you who wants nothing to do with your ex bf, just know that being happy and living well is the best revenge.

Hope this mood passes....maybe it's almost time for your period? That's how I always got just before mine.

And I guess maybe your girlfriend is just self centered. That was a crummy thing for her to do. Maybe she's jealous of you. Even if I had stuff I didnt' use, I'd still come just for the party, and to hang out with friends. I'd just do my own thing and let her do hers.
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Old 04-16-2008, 12:07 PM   #9
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Keep your chin up! It sounds to me like you're a young woman who is caring and that's the reason you keep questioning others in your life. Try not to beat yourself up about what you can't change in others. I've listened to my daughter with the same story about one of her friends. She went through similiar experiences too. Sometimes, it's just who they are & they don't get it. You should be so proud of who you've become and the past just makes you a better person for knowing what you really want!
Congratulations on the B+ in MIS!!
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Old 04-16-2008, 10:15 PM   #10
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Arbonne, did someone say Arbonne? I love that stuff. Im sorry your having the blahhhhs. I think its been going around alot lately. You could do what I do on those long Sat. games. Nintendo DS, books, Ipod, A small alcholic drink disguised in a soda bottle. (not really but I do wish sometimes). I hope you wake up tomorrow smiling.
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Old 04-17-2008, 05:56 AM   #11
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thanks ladies!
I am doing better today. Definately not so crabby. I decided to take a break from my bff who is hurting me. I talked to another friend last night who also is friends with my bffs sister and they both think that she had/has a crush on the guy Im dating at one point and maybe she does not want to admit it or is sore about it and that is why she is giving me an attitude. Im just going to back off and stop killing myself trying to please her. If she wants to know where I am after awhile I'll just say that I had to back off because she was hurting my feelings and I couldnt make it better so I had to get out of the situation. Thats all.

No dreams about the ex last night so that was great.. woke up next to my guy this morning who brought me coffee in bed! Can't beat that... so overall its been a WAY BETTER day!

Thanks for listening to me yesterday! I appreciate all your advice and support!
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