AWwww.....if you were with someone for 10 yrs and had all that history, I don't think it's unusual that you still have feelings for him. I went with a guy for only 6 months and 10 yrs later I think about him! Some things just go that way. I think it makes you human b/c you shared so much together and just b/c it didn't work out as a FOREVER together relationship. it was important to you. I think people who spend that much time together and then act as if they never met the person are the losers of the world. Unless they were abused or tormented. But we all change over time and it's nice I think, when you just remember the good parts of a relationship (but can keep in mind that there was a good reason it didnt' last).
And as far as your friend and the house; I can say that when we were having our home built, and I was picking out countertops and carpeting and draperies, and window coverings and furniture and accessorties, and dealing with moving, it is sort of all you can think about. It's just such a big task and at least for me, a little overwhelming and all-consuming. Your friend will chill out eventually. It's a very exciting and stressful time, so if you can stand being relegated to a second class citizen
for awhile, hopefully she'll come back down to earth. Just act interested in it all and I'm sure she'll do the same for you someday
.
And the bf....I had one like that once~ he was a HS coach and not only was he involved all the time with the kids, he also had to go on scouting trips and on the weekends, he was either in a touch football league, a city basketball league or community softball league....I went to EVERY game, and even though it was a little annoying, the wives and other gf's of the guys bonded and was something we looked forward to sharing. You just have to decide if that's what you want
.