[celstu1]

Thanks ladies you are the best!!
I am having an Arbonne party friday night at my house. I invited my friend and she told me today she forgot to ask her hubby if he'll be home friday night so she can come, so I said dont forget to ask him tonight and she sent another email saying something like 'on second thought im not going to come. I have a bunch of stuff I dont even use anyways' so she cant even come to hang out! I sent her an email back saying 'suit yourself' and left it at that. Its just been about 3 months of this 'stuff' and Im tired of it. Ive tried to ask and talk to her, but nothing. I cant keep trying, its wearing at me. I have another friend who just bought a house and is planning a wedding and I havent spent nearly as much time helping her as I did this other friend. I feel badly about that. I sent her an email today saying how sorry I was that I spent so much time kissing this girls A$$ that I neglected her and all her good things that are going on.

Also I don't really mind the whole coaching thing, but if I go to the games, his ex-wife will be there and it will be uncomfortable for me. She has more rights to be there than I do and I wouldnt want to make her uncomfortable either.

As for my ex, its me who does not want to talk to him, or even look at him. He does nothing but bring me down. Everytime I start to feel better about everything that happens he pops back into the picture somehow and gets me down again. I hate that I spent so many years with a guy who turned out to be not the person I thought he was. I also hate that I let him do the things he did while we were in the relationship. He was so selfish and immature. He has a drinking problem and he wanted to party 24/7. He called me every name you can think of, and threated to leave me ALL THE TIME! I spent so much of that relationship 'alone' that I am soo independant now. When I see conflict arise with another guy Im dating it just makes me think "I dont need this, im better off alone" and end it. I don't want to end it with the guy im with now. Hes awesome and perfect for me. (despite the whole 'kids' thing - i may want one he wants no more thing) UUGGHHH

I can't seem to shake this mood! UGH!

On a positive note, I did find out today that I got a B+ in my MIS (management information systems) class! Im super happy bc it was a very difficult class!