Is It Normal To Hurt THIS Much?

[DrakesMom]

As expected, by the area of placement of this thread, it is not a happy one! We have (had) 3 dogs...Lexy (black lab), Harley (yorkie-poo) and Drake (yorkie)! Sunday evening Lexy was out of her pen and my son was outside with her and decided to come in but left her out! She normally stays in the yard and has always minded really well! To make a long story short, she was hit and killed by a car, and I was horrified! I couldn't believe it! I haven't felt pain like this since my mother suddenly passed away almost 2 years ago! I never thought losing a pet could hurt so much! We got Lexy when she was a puppy and she was a trained hunting dog, with the work of my hubby and son! She adored them because of all the rewards she was given! She adored me because she knew "mom" would always let her have her way! Now that she's gone and with the way she was killed, I doubt myself as to whether I am worthy of having Harley & Drake! I told my son he should have put her up and he said he would and went in the other room! I feel it's MY fault because although he's 14 and should be doing what he's told, me, being the parent, should have enforced it and if I had, she would still be here!

My husband buried her in a grave that took him 2 1/2 hours to dig by hand! I have put a standing heart-shaped flower arrangement with a guardian angel in the middle on the grave, trying to make myself feel better about all this but nothing seems to be working!

I have done nothing but cry since it happened! I know that it was just a freak accident, but it was one that could have been prevented, and I hate myself for it!

I guess what I'm getting at is.....is this normal??? I've had Harley & Drake both since they were puppies and it literally scares me to death to think of something happening to them now! My first thought was I need to give them away to a good home before I cause their lives to end too early also! Since the incident, I've definitely showed them even more love and attention but yet it seems all that is doing is making me feel even more guilty that Lexy's not here for me to do the same thing with!

I don't know....it's tearing me up inside, and I sure hope this gets easier in a fast pace kind of way because I don't know how much longer I can handle feeling like this!

I'm sorry this is so long, but as I sit here and type, the tears are still flowing and my heart just keeps pouring! Thank you so much for listening!

[rrosenberry]

Im so sorry! I feel your pain in your writing,, and I hear you blaming yourself SO much! It was an accident!! A horribly sad accident, but Its not your fault! DOnt even think of giving up your other dogs, believe me they will help with your guilt and grief.. And Im sure with this accident YOu will be an Even better mom than before,, and you will take every precaution to make sure this never happens again.

Im sorry for your pain,, and I can tell you are at the MAD stage of grief right now,,but it will pass , and you'll need those 2 babies!
You're are in my thoughts and prayers today.

[LoveMyBaby]

oh gosh .. im so sorry! I believe that everything is relative.. and your loss and pain is very valid. I can believe that it could hurt that much.. your doggies are like your children and you grieve and mourn them as you would a human. Ive lost pets: hamster, birds, and fish.. never a doggie .. Chicle is my first furbaby and i dont even want to think of loosing him.. ill go crazy...
I was deeply hurt when i lost my hamster.. didnt feel much for the birds or the fish.. lol but Ive also lost a family member and that HURT LIKE HELL.. still does ... time heals... it will still hurt but you have to keep going... Prayer helps too ... it helps to cope...
you will feel better in time ... tons of hugs your way!

[bettyeanne]

I am terribly sorry for your loss. I won't insult you by telling you I know how your feel, I can only tell you how I felt when we lost our 13 yr. old Nicole! I was like a zombie at first ... then couldn't move from bed for days. I blamed myself for not making different decisions for her. I thought I would die ... heck, I wanted to die, anything to stop that awful pain in my heart. That's been about 6-7 years ago and even now, right this minute, I feel that stabbing pain just thinking about her. It did get easier, but I will never get over it. It took me a lot of years to even allow the "suggestion" of another pet. When we bought Toto almost two years ago, I just lost my heart within minutes!! And, here I am again, so committed to another pet that I know will not live forever! That's what we do ... we go on. For now, just know that we are all here for you and want to help in any way we can, even just having someone to listen will help. We will remember you & your family in our prayers.l

[shecass]

This is completely normal. We lost a yorkie almost 10 years ago to this same type of accident his name was Bailey. I know there are a few Biley's on this site and it breaks my heart all over again when I hear or see that name. To make matters worse I was pregnant at the time. So, those hormones just got me good. I cried for days, we were at my grandparents when it happen it was on Thanksgiving and it hit me(us my husband was as bad if not worse than me) hard again. Thank goodness we still had Precious our now 14 year old Shih Tzu.

I'm so sorry I know this is one of the hardest things to go through. They are just like our children.

Please try not to blame yourself. It will get easier and you will begin to cherish all of your memories with her.

[Olivier]

I am so sorry to hear about your little one .

Yes , it is normal to hurt when a little one goes to rainbow bridge . I will be thinking of you .

[Bella Bear]

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, it's completely normal to be this sad. My family had a dog that was with us for 10 years. When he passed, it was such a devastating time for the whole family. He passed away 2 years ago and I STILL can't talk about him without crying....

[sneri13]

First I am so sorry for your loss. Yes it is completely normal to feel this way. I had a doberman named Archie who also died the same way. Please don't blame yourself it was a horrible accident. The pain lessens over time but you will always have the wonderful memories forever. You and your family will be in my prayers

[schatzie]

Your feelings are very normal. You are in the healing process and blaming yourself is part of that process. Please know this is not your fault though. I am so very sorry for your loss, this is never easy.

Everybody is different in how they suffer. Your pain should take as long as you feel it need to, your healing process is very important and know that you are not alone.

I have never fully gotten passed losing my Half-Pint. I am in a different stage of the healing process then you, but it's been over a year now. So, take your time to heal, this is important.

Schatzie and I send hugs to you, your family and sincerley am sorry for your loss of Lexy.

[crystalsmom]

I am so sorry for your loss!! I think what might make you feel better is to console your
son and let him know that accidents can happen. A boy and a dog is a very
special bonding and for a child it is so much harder than an adult and when
you feel it is because of something you failed to do, it has to be unbearable for
him. They say something good comes from everything we consider a tragedy and
this might even bring you closer than you ever thought possible and with the
teen years ahead that might be your blessing in disguise. God Love You All - you
will be in my prayers.

[eensor]

Yes, its perfectly normal to hurt that much. Don't let anyone tell you it isn't! Try not to blame yourself or your son.....it was an accident and blame is very counter-productive. Your son doesn't need to think it is his fault either. Keep praying and write to her. It helps.

[Ilovebaby]

I'm so sorry for your loss. And i do believe it is normal to hurt that much. Our pets are part of our families and losing one is very difficult. You will be in my thoughts. And please try not to blame yourself.

[bearded1957]

If you did not feel like you do,you would not have been a good mommy! They are our children not our dogs! We all feel for your loss. Time,prayer (and a new baby in the house) WILL HELP! I F YOU CANNOT GET A NEW BABY-VOLUNTEER TO HELP A YORKIE! I still look for my girls,and hurt when i look at their pics. I ONLY REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD TIMES! i wish i would have listened to others and bred princess. I was too scared to lose her. Our new arrival is sammy! TAKE CARE!

[red98vett]

That is so sad and my condolences for your Lexy. Please remember accidents happen and though we try very hard all the time to be always alert to them - they can happen in a blink of an eye.

I'm very very sorry for your loss and I know I'd feel the same way as you do -... you have 2 more to love and your Lexy would want you to give them all you have. She knows it was an accident and try not to find fault or beat yourself up....I really feel your pain and I promise - it will get better in time...you'll always feel bad but you will start smiling about your good times too -

Dedicated to Lexy

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...

[Mydogkelsey]

Im crying reading your story. Im so sorry this happend to you! Please try not to blame yourself or your son...things happen and there's nothing we can do. I hope you feel better and come to peace with what's happend...thanks for sharing your story and remember were always here for you!