Need advice - YorkieTalk.com Forums

ZoeysMom2005 · 06-09-2005, 02:34 PM

I have a friend that i've known since i was about 9 yrs old and we are very close but their is a problem. She bought her first yorkie January and she left him with me for a week and i noticed he was a little sick so i told her to pick him up and take him to the vet, Okay she never did it took her another week to take him

he was aboyt 4 months at that time. she would bring him by every weekend and i got to be pretty attached to him so my husband bought Zoey

ok let me get to the point

she moved away so she comes over every 2 weeks and she came over with her puppy zoey and i were so happy to see him lol. but now he is 8 months and i noticed when i called him he was shaking and when i picked him up he peed on me lol so i went to just touch his little head and he flinched i looked at her and iaskd her do you hit him and she just looked and me and and said how can you tell. I told her hello you can tell because he lookes scared and when you call him he goes and hides

she did tell me she does hit him because he likes to pee on her bed and all over her new apartment okay so i had a long talk with her but as the day went he was playing with zoey and he did pee on my rug, i ran to clean uo the pee. when i come back in the living room she is calling him and picks up my sons shoe and threw the shoe at him she hit him right in the face, my tears came down my face and i just yelled at her and picked him up

i told her if she didn't want the responsibilities of taking care of a dog why did she get one

so she grabed the pup and stormed out my house. Her husband called me and asked me if i wanted the puppy i told him i'll take him in a heart beat

so he is thinking of giving him to me but now she wont talk to me. But she has to understand i dont treat my little zoey that way. i love zoey to death

and it hurt me to see how she was treating her dog . Her husband told me to call her but i dont know what to say, i feel like what ever i say wont matter. Any advice would really help. Thank you. and im so sorry this is so long i just had to vent...

sfmadrigal · 06-09-2005, 02:42 PM

It's like when you critsize someone's parenting... no matter how delicately you put it, you're gonna piss them off. Especially if it's true!

That is so sad for that poor little dog. Some people get them and don't really have the patience for them, but they find out too late. Hopefully her husband will give you the dog. I don't know if there is anything you can say that will make her not mad at you. If she is a close friend, then I would call her and say you are sorry she got mad, but not only are there laws against animal cruelty, it breaks your heart to see a dog treated that way. Someone had to stick up for that baby! You can tell her that you understand that she was offended, but that you felt it was important that she know what she was doing was not right.

*hugs* that's a sorry situation to have to be in!

klogan · 06-09-2005, 02:43 PM

Wow...this is terrible. She might have been a good friend, but she shouldn't have a dog (or children!) if she can't handle the responsiblity. I feel so bad for that puppy. He does not deserve that.

I suggest calling your friend and tell her that you might have reacted in a way that made her angry. However, you should tell her how much you love that puppy and it bothered you to see him hit. You might also want to mention that the poor dog might be making such mistakes because of the way he is treated. Does she ever reward him if he does go potty in the right place? If he is not potty trained and is making that many mistakes...it is not his fault. The owner has a responsiblity. If you are willing, why don't you recommend that little Zoey stay with you, you will train him and take care of him. Perhaps you can take him until she is "ready" or offer to buy it from her if she is not really happy with the dog.

Please keep me updated. I feel terrible about this situation. Poor Zoey.

Dena · 06-09-2005, 02:48 PM

whoa, that is wrong.. the shoe that she threw at him is probably his size.. i get so mad at my little Wookie for peeing on the carpet... but he is just a baby, he doesnt know what hes doing, besides, what ever he does in mistakes, he makes it up by being so freaking adorable!!... you need to tell her to think of him like a baby.. puppies arn't born knowing where to pee.
her husband is doing the right thing.. maybe you should talk to the husband. That definately sounds like a tough situation.
a friend of mine rescued a dog from the pound that had been abused, and its sooo sad the way they act, because you can definately tell.
I hope it all works out.

rnnw62 · 06-09-2005, 02:52 PM

I totally understand your feelings in regard to what happened.
I can't even imagine going through and witnessing that. If you
talked to her husband and he said to call her I think maybe you
should. I think she never estimated the love and patience that
is involved with raising a healthy puppy. Try to get to the bottom
of her feelings of why she thinks hitting is going to help the
problems and not make them worse. You will need to be gentle
and understanding in your talk with her and then offer if it is
too much for her to handle to take him but make it seem like
you are trying to help her out because you know she is not a
bad person and that she wants the best for this little guy.
If Teddy so much as wimpers I am there in a split second I
can not imagine raising my hand to hit him or throwing something
at him. Please try and talk to her though because this little
guy needs you and the love you have to offer.

ZoeysMom2005 · 06-09-2005, 03:00 PM

Thank you all so much. I do feel bad for yelling at her but i was a reaction, i never thought anyone could hit a puppy like that. That day she told me that my dog zoey is too spoiled and she wasn't going to spoil her pup because then he wont listen to her. i told he wont listen to you if you hit him, just to be patient with him. But i am going to call her today. and again thank you..

vainchick5 · 06-09-2005, 03:06 PM

I was crying as I read about this story. I get mad at my little Coco, and a light thump on the nose is all she gets, and that's only if she bites me really hard. They are so cute and loving how could anyone treat them like that. The shoe IS his size. But she may be a terrible mother, but you have to nurture your relationship if you want to keep it. I have studied psychology for a long time, so here's the type of conversation I would have with her. Keep in mind that even though some of this stuff may not be your TRUE feelings, you want to be gentle for now and later you can have a more serious conversation.
"Hey, how are you? I'm so sorry for overreacting to the situation. Please don't think that I was trying to be attacking or trying to say anything bad about you. I just love that little guy and it breaks my heart to see him scared. I just reacted emotionally without talking to you about your feelings and anxieties. I would be more than happy to help you with training him, or even adopting him. Whatever you want help with. I just want to see everyone happy, and neither of you are right now. I just want to help, so please let me. Trust me, the more you learn about their behavior (I can help) the more patience you will build. Trust me I know how frustrating it is to have them go everywhere. But he's not doing it to make you angry, he just doesn't know. But if you praise him, he will learn faster and he won't be scared. He loves you, and I know you love him. But if you need ANY help with him at all please let me know, and I don't want to lost your friendship."

jogi37 · 06-09-2005, 03:11 PM

Oh....just reading this breaks my heart. Definately keep following up until you know the puppy is safe. You may not be able to salvage the relationship, but you can try and work it out by letter her know you are just wanting what is right for the puppy. Hang in there. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and that puppy.
Keep us all posted!
Joanne and Tini

Laura · 06-09-2005, 03:17 PM

I think I would call my friend and apologize. Then suggest that Yorkies are a little hard to train, and that if she wanted you to take him and work with him, you would do that for her. Maybe she just doesn't have the time or patience to train him herself. And maybe she will decide she doesn't really want a dog once he is gone, and she could just be his wonderful aunt and bring him presents. Salvage a friendship and save a dog. Win - win ??

ZoeysMom2005 · 06-09-2005, 03:31 PM

Thank you. i will keep you all posted im calling her in a little while. i know she doesn't have the patience to train him, i went and bought a steamer as soon as i got zoey because i know they do have accidents, zoey has had many in the past. i told her when her dog pees on the rug just take him to his pee pad he'll eventually get it he is still young.and another thing that poor thing was dirty i passed a rag on him and brushed his coat.

Stitches29 · 06-09-2005, 03:58 PM

I would suggest dealing with the husband. Since things are so touchy between you and her right now, the husband would be the best route. I really do hope you get the baby. I have a rescued animal. He was beaten so bad and starved, that his hair starting falling out. Took months to be able just to get near him. I've had him now for 4 years, and he is the most loving, beautiful animal I have ever seen. Hopefully you will be able to get this baby befor permanent damage is done. Please keep us posted.

chewysmom · 06-09-2005, 04:06 PM

This is such a horrible situation. These pups are so small and nervous as it is, what with all of us tripping over them or accidentaly stepping...but to hit an animal, that is so sad. Clearly your friend has issues she needs to resolve. I hope that you can get this little pup into your home and show him some love and attention. Good Luck.

suzysmitt · 06-09-2005, 04:41 PM

I hope all goes well with your conversation, at the very least I hope she lets you help with the training, but I'm hoping she just gives him to you. Poor little guy.

ingallsra · 06-09-2005, 07:25 PM

It's amazing how well you think you know someone until one day......
My advise is to take the puppy if the husband offers it, and back away from your friend for a while. What she did, not to mention the condition she's leaving the dog in, is bordering on abuse. She is in the wrong--not you. If she can't take some constructive criticism from someone she's known for so long, then maybe she's not such a great friend after all. This might sound harsh, but in the same situation, I would be more concerned about the puppy than the friendship. She is responsible for her behavior and actions--you don't have to make excuses for her. Your reaction was justified. This goes against what some other people are saying, but it's just my opinion.

Good luck, and please keep us posted!

ssguzzy828 · 06-09-2005, 07:40 PM

I probably would have reacted the smae as you. I bet if you call her and just tell her first off throwing a shoe at her puppy could kill it, and second you could probably tell her by hitting the puppy she is only going to make things worse. The poor puppy is probably peeing all over due to submissive behavior. I hope you are able to get thru to her and hopefully she gives you the puppy to keep. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens.

06-09-2005, 02:34 PM	#1
ZoeysMom2005 YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 369	Need advice I have a friend that i've known since i was about 9 yrs old and we are very close but their is a problem. She bought her first yorkie January and she left him with me for a week and i noticed he was a little sick so i told her to pick him up and take him to the vet, Okay she never did it took her another week to take him he was aboyt 4 months at that time. she would bring him by every weekend and i got to be pretty attached to him so my husband bought Zoey ok let me get to the point she moved away so she comes over every 2 weeks and she came over with her puppy zoey and i were so happy to see him lol. but now he is 8 months and i noticed when i called him he was shaking and when i picked him up he peed on me lol so i went to just touch his little head and he flinched i looked at her and iaskd her do you hit him and she just looked and me and and said how can you tell. I told her hello you can tell because he lookes scared and when you call him he goes and hides she did tell me she does hit him because he likes to pee on her bed and all over her new apartment okay so i had a long talk with her but as the day went he was playing with zoey and he did pee on my rug, i ran to clean uo the pee. when i come back in the living room she is calling him and picks up my sons shoe and threw the shoe at him she hit him right in the face, my tears came down my face and i just yelled at her and picked him up i told her if she didn't want the responsibilities of taking care of a dog why did she get one so she grabed the pup and stormed out my house. Her husband called me and asked me if i wanted the puppy i told him i'll take him in a heart beat so he is thinking of giving him to me but now she wont talk to me. But she has to understand i dont treat my little zoey that way. i love zoey to death and it hurt me to see how she was treating her dog . Her husband told me to call her but i dont know what to say, i feel like what ever i say wont matter. Any advice would really help. Thank you. and im so sorry this is so long i just had to vent...

06-09-2005, 02:42 PM	#2
sfmadrigal YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Tempe, AZ Posts: 307	It's like when you critsize someone's parenting... no matter how delicately you put it, you're gonna piss them off. Especially if it's true! That is so sad for that poor little dog. Some people get them and don't really have the patience for them, but they find out too late. Hopefully her husband will give you the dog. I don't know if there is anything you can say that will make her not mad at you. If she is a close friend, then I would call her and say you are sorry she got mad, but not only are there laws against animal cruelty, it breaks your heart to see a dog treated that way. Someone had to stick up for that baby! You can tell her that you understand that she was offended, but that you felt it was important that she know what she was doing was not right. hugs that's a sorry situation to have to be in! __________________ Sara Leila's Page Gidget's Page

06-09-2005, 02:43 PM	#3
klogan YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 661	Wow...this is terrible. She might have been a good friend, but she shouldn't have a dog (or children!) if she can't handle the responsiblity. I feel so bad for that puppy. He does not deserve that. I suggest calling your friend and tell her that you might have reacted in a way that made her angry. However, you should tell her how much you love that puppy and it bothered you to see him hit. You might also want to mention that the poor dog might be making such mistakes because of the way he is treated. Does she ever reward him if he does go potty in the right place? If he is not potty trained and is making that many mistakes...it is not his fault. The owner has a responsiblity. If you are willing, why don't you recommend that little Zoey stay with you, you will train him and take care of him. Perhaps you can take him until she is "ready" or offer to buy it from her if she is not really happy with the dog. Please keep me updated. I feel terrible about this situation. Poor Zoey. __________________ Kimberly & Stomper

06-09-2005, 02:52 PM	#5
rnnw62 Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Gilbert, Arizona Posts: 1,610	I totally understand your feelings in regard to what happened. I can't even imagine going through and witnessing that. If you talked to her husband and he said to call her I think maybe you should. I think she never estimated the love and patience that is involved with raising a healthy puppy. Try to get to the bottom of her feelings of why she thinks hitting is going to help the problems and not make them worse. You will need to be gentle and understanding in your talk with her and then offer if it is too much for her to handle to take him but make it seem like you are trying to help her out because you know she is not a bad person and that she wants the best for this little guy. If Teddy so much as wimpers I am there in a split second I can not imagine raising my hand to hit him or throwing something at him. Please try and talk to her though because this little guy needs you and the love you have to offer. __________________ Shelly, Teddy, Toby,Hanne & Indigo

06-09-2005, 03:06 PM	#7
vainchick5 YT 6000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: CA Posts: 6,588	I was crying as I read about this story. I get mad at my little Coco, and a light thump on the nose is all she gets, and that's only if she bites me really hard. They are so cute and loving how could anyone treat them like that. The shoe IS his size. But she may be a terrible mother, but you have to nurture your relationship if you want to keep it. I have studied psychology for a long time, so here's the type of conversation I would have with her. Keep in mind that even though some of this stuff may not be your TRUE feelings, you want to be gentle for now and later you can have a more serious conversation. "Hey, how are you? I'm so sorry for overreacting to the situation. Please don't think that I was trying to be attacking or trying to say anything bad about you. I just love that little guy and it breaks my heart to see him scared. I just reacted emotionally without talking to you about your feelings and anxieties. I would be more than happy to help you with training him, or even adopting him. Whatever you want help with. I just want to see everyone happy, and neither of you are right now. I just want to help, so please let me. Trust me, the more you learn about their behavior (I can help) the more patience you will build. Trust me I know how frustrating it is to have them go everywhere. But he's not doing it to make you angry, he just doesn't know. But if you praise him, he will learn faster and he won't be scared. He loves you, and I know you love him. But if you need ANY help with him at all please let me know, and I don't want to lost your friendship." __________________ Mommy to Coco and Rocco

06-09-2005, 02:48 PM	#4
Dena No Longer a Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Arizona Posts: 1,424	whoa, that is wrong.. the shoe that she threw at him is probably his size.. i get so mad at my little Wookie for peeing on the carpet... but he is just a baby, he doesnt know what hes doing, besides, what ever he does in mistakes, he makes it up by being so freaking adorable!!... you need to tell her to think of him like a baby.. puppies arn't born knowing where to pee. her husband is doing the right thing.. maybe you should talk to the husband. That definately sounds like a tough situation. a friend of mine rescued a dog from the pound that had been abused, and its sooo sad the way they act, because you can definately tell. I hope it all works out.

06-09-2005, 03:00 PM	#6
ZoeysMom2005 YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 369	Thank you all so much. I do feel bad for yelling at her but i was a reaction, i never thought anyone could hit a puppy like that. That day she told me that my dog zoey is too spoiled and she wasn't going to spoil her pup because then he wont listen to her. i told he wont listen to you if you hit him, just to be patient with him. But i am going to call her today. and again thank you..

06-09-2005, 03:11 PM	#8
jogi37 Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Oak Park Posts: 185	Oh....just reading this breaks my heart. Definately keep following up until you know the puppy is safe. You may not be able to salvage the relationship, but you can try and work it out by letter her know you are just wanting what is right for the puppy. Hang in there. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and that puppy. Keep us all posted! Joanne and Tini

06-09-2005, 03:17 PM	#9
Laura Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Wylie TX Posts: 1,577	I think I would call my friend and apologize. Then suggest that Yorkies are a little hard to train, and that if she wanted you to take him and work with him, you would do that for her. Maybe she just doesn't have the time or patience to train him herself. And maybe she will decide she doesn't really want a dog once he is gone, and she could just be his wonderful aunt and bring him presents. Salvage a friendship and save a dog. Win - win ?? __________________ Laura--loving mom of Robyn, Dexter, Sandy, Mattie, Sammy, Jake & Mollie http://www.yorkietalk.com/gallery/sh...00&ppuser=1851

06-09-2005, 03:31 PM	#10
ZoeysMom2005 YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 369	Thank you. i will keep you all posted im calling her in a little while. i know she doesn't have the patience to train him, i went and bought a steamer as soon as i got zoey because i know they do have accidents, zoey has had many in the past. i told her when her dog pees on the rug just take him to his pee pad he'll eventually get it he is still young.and another thing that poor thing was dirty i passed a rag on him and brushed his coat.

06-09-2005, 03:58 PM	#11
Stitches29 My Little Magwad Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 1,739	I would suggest dealing with the husband. Since things are so touchy between you and her right now, the husband would be the best route. I really do hope you get the baby. I have a rescued animal. He was beaten so bad and starved, that his hair starting falling out. Took months to be able just to get near him. I've had him now for 4 years, and he is the most loving, beautiful animal I have ever seen. Hopefully you will be able to get this baby befor permanent damage is done. Please keep us posted. __________________ "My Furkids" Maggie, Molly and Meme...

06-09-2005, 04:06 PM	#12
chewysmom My Precious Pup Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 2,092	This is such a horrible situation. These pups are so small and nervous as it is, what with all of us tripping over them or accidentaly stepping...but to hit an animal, that is so sad. Clearly your friend has issues she needs to resolve. I hope that you can get this little pup into your home and show him some love and attention. Good Luck.

06-09-2005, 04:41 PM	#13
suzysmitt Currently Suspended! Join Date: May 2005 Location: Florida Posts: 2,150	I hope all goes well with your conversation, at the very least I hope she lets you help with the training, but I'm hoping she just gives him to you. Poor little guy.

06-09-2005, 07:25 PM	#14
ingallsra YT Addict Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 367	It's amazing how well you think you know someone until one day...... My advise is to take the puppy if the husband offers it, and back away from your friend for a while. What she did, not to mention the condition she's leaving the dog in, is bordering on abuse. She is in the wrong--not you. If she can't take some constructive criticism from someone she's known for so long, then maybe she's not such a great friend after all. This might sound harsh, but in the same situation, I would be more concerned about the puppy than the friendship. She is responsible for her behavior and actions--you don't have to make excuses for her. Your reaction was justified. This goes against what some other people are saying, but it's just my opinion. Good luck, and please keep us posted!

06-09-2005, 07:40 PM	#15
ssguzzy828 YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: south suburbs of illinois Posts: 734	I probably would have reacted the smae as you. I bet if you call her and just tell her first off throwing a shoe at her puppy could kill it, and second you could probably tell her by hitting the puppy she is only going to make things worse. The poor puppy is probably peeing all over due to submissive behavior. I hope you are able to get thru to her and hopefully she gives you the puppy to keep. Good luck and keep us posted on what happens.