whoa, that is wrong.. the shoe that she threw at him is probably his size.. i get so mad at my little Wookie for peeing on the carpet... but he is just a baby, he doesnt know what hes doing, besides, what ever he does in mistakes, he makes it up by being so freaking adorable!!... you need to tell her to think of him like a baby.. puppies arn't born knowing where to pee.
her husband is doing the right thing.. maybe you should talk to the husband. That definately sounds like a tough situation.
a friend of mine rescued a dog from the pound that had been abused, and its sooo sad the way they act, because you can definately tell.
I hope it all works out.