I really need to talk... - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

YorkieMom55 · 03-07-2007, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Potter

Thank you everyone. I feel better. You guys are just the best. I have forgotten the fact that whatever people do, don't do, say or don't say you will never please everyone. I am so used to trying to please everyone as I am new to the family and it is wearing out on me because no one is trying to understand me and where I come from to the point that I am feeling frustrated and pretty upset. At the same time, I also feel in a lot of ways, I am being mistaken without anyone even asking me questions and talking to me!!!! I do not want a human kid and that does not mean I am a bad person, cold-hearted etc! Its fine they dislike me because from the start they have not liked me and the first image is hard to change. I am a tough girl anyways. I just don't understand why people could be so judgemental (without knowing much) and cruel to someone who does not have a lot of social support here. I keep telling myself I am tough but I feel like crying....argh!!!

My Dear,
you have a good, loving heart. One's decision to have children or not has nothing to do with their capacity to love, comfort, nurture, mentor or care for others.
Sometimes I think that it's us tough girls who can be hurt the deepest. Of course you feel like crying. It hurts when people are cruel and insensitive. I wish I had pearls of wisdom to give you, to tell you to just ignore them. But I know you can't. You know what they say about "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me"? It was probably said by a loving, tough girl. Those mean words do hurt, and they stay with you for along time. You don't cry in front of those people but do it when you're alone and sad.
Don't be sad. Just surround yourself with loving people that can celebrate happiness. Learn to forgive those who make you sad. Look forward to a long and happy life. And next time you're feeling down...come here, we're here for you.

Hugs...

JESSY_RN2B · 03-07-2007, 06:18 PM

I am glad you posted this.

I have been so blue lately. I have been married for 4 years to a wonderful man. We have 3 furkids and no skin children. We were waiting until I finished school.

Recently, we decided to try for a skin kid as I am soon to graduate.........to make a long story short.....I may not be able to have them..... I am extremely depressed and society's pressure is the worst. My mother in law keeps asking for grandchildren and the so do many other people. Hubby and I both just turned 25.

I am enduring such mixed feelings........I don't want to share my personal life with everyone, but lately I feel like I want to explode........do I make sense?

I know I shouldn't be devulging this here........but I feel comfort in this thread.

I am so grateful for my furkids.........they are my children too. I have stopped caring what others have to say about my obsession. It isn't a sin to love them this much. I take pride and comfort with the way I care for them. They are God's special gift to me and my hubby. I am appreciate the time God is letting them be with me...........they are afterall innocent angels of God.

Jess

YorkieMom55 · 03-07-2007, 06:27 PM

You girls should not feel bad about sharing your feelings. It's like a

Diary ...that talks back!!!!
We've all experienced many good and bad times in our lives and maybe just one or two words is enough to renew your spirit and let you know that you're not alone. Hugs.

chattiesmom · 03-07-2007, 06:33 PM

Sending hugs to both Potter and Jess

. I wish this world (especially those we love and are supposed to love us) were more kind and gentle. I hope that both of you find the love and support you need right now. It is so sad that we can't all have understanding parents and in-laws who would love us and respect us for who we are, not what we can produce.

vivi · 03-07-2007, 06:42 PM

I have 3 kids full grown now (2 girls 27 and 20 years old - a boy 15 years old). They don't need me so much and my Kissie is my little baby. My life is really complete with her and if people does'nt understand the meaning of this inconditionnal love, they dont know what they miss.

Potter · 03-07-2007, 08:53 PM

Thank you for the hugs and words of support, its really great being here!

We could all do with sharing some feelings here especially since we are on the verge of exploding. It makes sense because I only post personal stuff when I explode. Otherwise, if can keep calm and control it, I would. I myself am not sure if I would regret posting stuff in public. I might but I am really feeling better right now and that is all that matters for today because how do you get by day by day if you do not settle what you feel today? It'd be nice if it can be deleted after though, maybe. There is a lot more to the story that I supposed I cannot share here but it hurts. Very much. Most of the time I am very easy going but I feel people have gone too far and too much out of line that bothers me.

The other thing is, when I read how grandparents treat yorkies very good and spoil them; I kind of feel bad for my boy. I know I am not supposed to compare and I try not to but I just feel bad for him. I mean I can understand that not everyone likes dogs but he at least deserves a chance. Its not like he is spoilt to the extent of not being trained or no discipline. He is very well trained, only has separation anxiety problem which I am working on very very slowly. His temperament is the best out of all the dogs I have had. I just feel so bad for him at times. He deserves a little more love and credit and not being judged so much. I know if I go home to visit my parents for a few weeks and I can't bring him, I'd probably have to worry about my boy. I just wish I had a little more support and Siu Pao gets a little more love that he deserves.

TootiesMom · 03-07-2007, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Potter

Hi guys/gals,

Here I am again...coming to YT to get some answers and support. I know I can rely on you guys.

I just want to know do you ever feel the pressure of people not understanding what makes you love your dog so much (not just yorkie, any dogs) and you treating your dog like your own family member, child? Do you get laughed at? Ridiculed? What do people close to you think? Do they love your dogs too?

Also, a different question for those that chose to not have a child (a human child) and is content with having a furkid, how do you deal with people thinking otherwise of you? I am 28 and neither my husband or I have the inclination to have kids. I know I would love my child if I have one but I really am very contented with my life as of now and I do not want to have a child just yet and I am not sure if I ever would have the feeling and I do not want to have a child just because I feel I am getting old. There is always a choice of adoption. I am just feeling the pressure lately. I feel that in our society, if you are married and do not want kids and prefer to just have a dog and love it a lot, you are perceived as there is something wrong with you. I really can make do with some hugs right now.

Most people around me think the same thing!
I love my dogs, and they are very precious to me!

NOTHING is better than coming home to them after a long day and all they want is PUPPY KISSES!

They are always there, loving me and making sure that I know I am loved. I wouldnt change that for anything!

omega · 03-08-2007, 06:38 AM

I raised 2 skin boys. Now is my time to have GIRLS!!!!!!! I don't give a flip what anyone says. I love my babies - I have had lots of animals in my day and I have never bonded to any like I have to my Yorkies. I'm not going to apologize to anyone for loving them like crazy.

On the other hand, I have to reign myself in and not keep BUYING them things! They are so fun and easy to spoil. I don't want to end up with middle age Yorkie brats...

So, enjoy your babies - Yorkie or whatever and enjoy your life if it is the way you want it. We only go around once!

remus · 03-08-2007, 06:42 AM

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Ozzie'sperson · 03-08-2007, 07:01 AM

Hang in there, ladies! Think of this: Do your Yorkies ever criticize you for having people in your life that make you feel this way?

We've always had animals my whole life and I've never loved one like my current Yorkie.

He's not the brightest bulb in the pack but he loves me. He doesn't care if I gain weight, how much money I have -- or don't -- or most of the time, even what's for dinner. All he wants as soon as I hit the door is to be picked up so he can kiss me! Not a bad deal.

Lexi Rae · 03-08-2007, 07:39 AM

dont you worry about what anyone has to say.. you do what you want.
i never had children either, ive been married too, just never happend, oh
well, there is nothing i can do about it now.. yes im upset sometimes,, but what am i to do now... i have lexi and she fullfills my life and thats all i need
at the moment....

blondflava · 03-08-2007, 09:38 AM

Potter and JESSY_RN2B:
I know how you feel...I'm 28 myself, but my hubby is a few years older and has 3 kids from his first marriage. I am a new resident here and I have to start basically from scratch here, education and finally, in a few years, the job that I want. I know it won't be easy but this is the choice I made and, honestly, I'm not sure when there could be a good time for me to have kids, it feels if I have any skin-kids, I can forget about bettering my life and geting what I want from life... I don't know when I will be situated with my career - maybe 5 years from now, maybe more. And I'm getting close to my 29th birthday. That's why Pepper is so very important to me and I know I baby him a little too much sometimes, but I know what you girls are feeling.

Potter · 03-08-2007, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blondflava

Potter and JESSY_RN2B:
I know how you feel...I'm 28 myself, but my hubby is a few years older and has 3 kids from his first marriage. I am a new resident here and I have to start basically from scratch here, education and finally, in a few years, the job that I want. I know it won't be easy but this is the choice I made and, honestly, I'm not sure when there could be a good time for me to have kids, it feels if I have any skin-kids, I can forget about bettering my life and geting what I want from life... I don't know when I will be situated with my career - maybe 5 years from now, maybe more. And I'm getting close to my 29th birthday. That's why Pepper is so very important to me and I know I baby him a little too much sometimes, but I know what you girls are feeling.

I have to start from scratch too but I cannot start yet. I don't even know if I will get to start as I am still waiting. I also like you made my choice and with everything going on, skin kids might never be an option and I am very contented with furkid anyways. The waiting alone is stressful not to mention people that are supposed to be close do not provide support and worse yet add to the stress. It just makes me angry thinking about it because my own family goes out of their way to support both me and my husband but they are no where close. I just need to come to terms with the situation and do the best that I can do improve things but half of my hands is still tied. I really have been exploding these couple of days, can't help it. Can't surpress it any longer. I just hope life will move on for me and I will be able to provide a better life for my furbaby and maybe get him a sister or brother later on. I guess I am also one of those people where if there is a puppy and a baby, I will pick the puppy without blinking twice.

patty58 · 03-08-2007, 01:41 PM

I totally understand loving your baby. I have 3 grown kids and I love them very much but this little guy is my best bud. I even have a shirt for him that says "favorite child". Thank goodness my husband feels the same way.

paulapoo · 03-08-2007, 01:43 PM

I was married for a very short time and we did not have any children. I am almost 36. I'm thinking of becoming a foster mom, but I don't know if I can do it financially. I have always had the desire to be a mom. With women having babies in their late 30's and early 40's these days, I still have hope to meet a wonderful man, but I'm starting to prepare myself for if that never happens. (I'm a jerk magnet when it comes to men) I think God brought my dogs into my life to fill that part of my heart that felt incomplete. All my friends and siblings have kids, my last single friend got married last year. And I don't want it to sound like if I were to meet a nice guy and have kids that my relationship would change with my dogs, because it wouldn't. I keep my friends baby every other saturday and they love her. They even go around the house looking for her when she's gone. I think we are given people/dogs to love. It's a gift and its unconditional. I am blessed.

03-07-2007, 06:18 PM	#17
JESSY_RN2B Owned by 3 furballs Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 6,581	I am glad you posted this. I have been so blue lately. I have been married for 4 years to a wonderful man. We have 3 furkids and no skin children. We were waiting until I finished school. Recently, we decided to try for a skin kid as I am soon to graduate.........to make a long story short.....I may not be able to have them..... I am extremely depressed and society's pressure is the worst. My mother in law keeps asking for grandchildren and the so do many other people. Hubby and I both just turned 25. I am enduring such mixed feelings........I don't want to share my personal life with everyone, but lately I feel like I want to explode........do I make sense? I know I shouldn't be devulging this here........but I feel comfort in this thread. I am so grateful for my furkids.........they are my children too. I have stopped caring what others have to say about my obsession. It isn't a sin to love them this much. I take pride and comfort with the way I care for them. They are God's special gift to me and my hubby. I am appreciate the time God is letting them be with me...........they are afterall innocent angels of God. Jess __________________ Bobbi Yorkietalk http://www.dogster.com/dogs/395435 And now........little Aja too! http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/23776545 Last edited by JESSY_RN2B; 03-07-2007 at 06:23 PM.

03-07-2007, 06:27 PM	#18
YorkieMom55 All Dogs Go To Heaven Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: By The Lake Posts: 2,727	You girls should not feel bad about sharing your feelings. It's like a Diary ...that talks back!!!! We've all experienced many good and bad times in our lives and maybe just one or two words is enough to renew your spirit and let you know that you're not alone. Hugs. __________________ Jeanie I am @ the Lake Jackson, Maggie, Sunshine, Bailey, Rocky, Emmie & Jack

03-07-2007, 06:33 PM	#19
chattiesmom Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama Posts: 17,674	Sending hugs to both Potter and Jess . I wish this world (especially those we love and are supposed to love us) were more kind and gentle. I hope that both of you find the love and support you need right now. It is so sad that we can't all have understanding parents and in-laws who would love us and respect us for who we are, not what we can produce. __________________ Silk Step-In Harnesses www.foxypups.etsy.com

03-07-2007, 06:42 PM	#20
vivi YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Miami Fl Posts: 335	Yorkies are real babies I have 3 kids full grown now (2 girls 27 and 20 years old - a boy 15 years old). They don't need me so much and my Kissie is my little baby. My life is really complete with her and if people does'nt understand the meaning of this inconditionnal love, they dont know what they miss.

03-07-2007, 08:53 PM	#21
Potter YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 2,583	Thank you for the hugs and words of support, its really great being here! We could all do with sharing some feelings here especially since we are on the verge of exploding. It makes sense because I only post personal stuff when I explode. Otherwise, if can keep calm and control it, I would. I myself am not sure if I would regret posting stuff in public. I might but I am really feeling better right now and that is all that matters for today because how do you get by day by day if you do not settle what you feel today? It'd be nice if it can be deleted after though, maybe. There is a lot more to the story that I supposed I cannot share here but it hurts. Very much. Most of the time I am very easy going but I feel people have gone too far and too much out of line that bothers me. The other thing is, when I read how grandparents treat yorkies very good and spoil them; I kind of feel bad for my boy. I know I am not supposed to compare and I try not to but I just feel bad for him. I mean I can understand that not everyone likes dogs but he at least deserves a chance. Its not like he is spoilt to the extent of not being trained or no discipline. He is very well trained, only has separation anxiety problem which I am working on very very slowly. His temperament is the best out of all the dogs I have had. I just feel so bad for him at times. He deserves a little more love and credit and not being judged so much. I know if I go home to visit my parents for a few weeks and I can't bring him, I'd probably have to worry about my boy. I just wish I had a little more support and Siu Pao gets a little more love that he deserves. __________________ http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=410379 "No matter how little money and how few possesions you own, having a dog makes you rich." Last edited by Potter; 03-07-2007 at 08:54 PM. Reason: spelling mistake

03-08-2007, 06:38 AM	#23
omega Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: MN Posts: 7,575	I raised 2 skin boys. Now is my time to have GIRLS!!!!!!! I don't give a flip what anyone says. I love my babies - I have had lots of animals in my day and I have never bonded to any like I have to my Yorkies. I'm not going to apologize to anyone for loving them like crazy. On the other hand, I have to reign myself in and not keep BUYING them things! They are so fun and easy to spoil. I don't want to end up with middle age Yorkie brats... So, enjoy your babies - Yorkie or whatever and enjoy your life if it is the way you want it. We only go around once!

03-08-2007, 06:42 AM	#24
remus Donating YT Addict Join Date: May 2006 Location: NYC Posts: 586	Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply. Last edited by remus; 03-08-2007 at 06:45 AM.

03-08-2007, 07:01 AM	#25
Ozzie'sperson Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Metro St. Louis Posts: 2,809 Blog Entries: 1	Hang in there, ladies! Think of this: Do your Yorkies ever criticize you for having people in your life that make you feel this way? We've always had animals my whole life and I've never loved one like my current Yorkie. He's not the brightest bulb in the pack but he loves me. He doesn't care if I gain weight, how much money I have -- or don't -- or most of the time, even what's for dinner. All he wants as soon as I hit the door is to be picked up so he can kiss me! Not a bad deal. __________________ Nicole RIP my sweet boy, Ozzie 1997-2011 http://thisdmnhouse.blogspot.com/

03-08-2007, 07:39 AM	#26
Lexi Rae Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY Posts: 10,455	dont you worry about what anyone has to say.. you do what you want. i never had children either, ive been married too, just never happend, oh well, there is nothing i can do about it now.. yes im upset sometimes,, but what am i to do now... i have lexi and she fullfills my life and thats all i need at the moment.... __________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ...

03-08-2007, 09:38 AM	#27
blondflava Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kearny, NJ Posts: 1,183	Potter and JESSY_RN2B: I know how you feel...I'm 28 myself, but my hubby is a few years older and has 3 kids from his first marriage. I am a new resident here and I have to start basically from scratch here, education and finally, in a few years, the job that I want. I know it won't be easy but this is the choice I made and, honestly, I'm not sure when there could be a good time for me to have kids, it feels if I have any skin-kids, I can forget about bettering my life and geting what I want from life... I don't know when I will be situated with my career - maybe 5 years from now, maybe more. And I'm getting close to my 29th birthday. That's why Pepper is so very important to me and I know I baby him a little too much sometimes, but I know what you girls are feeling. __________________ Izabela ... and Pepper Rest in peace, Kora, you're always in my

03-08-2007, 01:41 PM	#29
patty58 Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas Posts: 5,272	I totally understand loving your baby. I have 3 grown kids and I love them very much but this little guy is my best bud. I even have a shirt for him that says "favorite child". Thank goodness my husband feels the same way.

03-08-2007, 01:43 PM	#30
paulapoo Blessed by Otis & Ollie Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Plainfield, Indiana Posts: 2,884	I was married for a very short time and we did not have any children. I am almost 36. I'm thinking of becoming a foster mom, but I don't know if I can do it financially. I have always had the desire to be a mom. With women having babies in their late 30's and early 40's these days, I still have hope to meet a wonderful man, but I'm starting to prepare myself for if that never happens. (I'm a jerk magnet when it comes to men) I think God brought my dogs into my life to fill that part of my heart that felt incomplete. All my friends and siblings have kids, my last single friend got married last year. And I don't want it to sound like if I were to meet a nice guy and have kids that my relationship would change with my dogs, because it wouldn't. I keep my friends baby every other saturday and they love her. They even go around the house looking for her when she's gone. I think we are given people/dogs to love. It's a gift and its unconditional. I am blessed. __________________ ~Paula~ proud mommy of ~Otis (yorkie) & Oliver (shih-poo)