Everyone Please Read: Going Forward, We Must Post With More Respect Toward Others

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by lynzy420

I say there should be a rule, that because each person has a different opinion we are allowed to disagree but not post "Ms Priss I think your post is mean" no judging others intent...and that if you dislike the way someone posts then report it instead of bashing the so called basher....the bashing of the bashing....omgggggggggg

As I was reading this thread I was reading it one way and then the next post was saying it was taken another way and I thought wow...I'm totally misreading/misinterpreting the "tone" too....It was like I had to go back and read again and then interpret it with the tone that was being accused of and its like...this is just crazy.....enough, if someone doesn't like what someone else says REPORT IT....I've never seen a time were Ann or Admin didn't inflect some SOS when asked to....leave the moderating to the moderators...thats all.

You say you would like to have a rule in place where people couldn't say, "I think your post is mean". I don't think that is such a horrible statement that there needs to be a rule against it. First of all, it's merely someone's opinion on how they viewed a statement. It doesn't say anything bad about the person, just that the post was mean. I think this is actually valuable information, and if I wrote what someone thought was a mean post, I would want to know what was mean about it and perhaps it was misunderstood, or perhaps it was indeed mean and this would tell me, I need to write more carefully. If this is happening so much that you believe that there needs to be made a rule, I think it means that someone needs to check their writing style. By they way, it like you are trying to be the moderator by saying that others aren't allowed to chime in when they think a post is way out of line. Don't you see the double standard here? As members of this board we can all chime in any time we want, we just are suppose to be respectful when doing so.

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Dang, Nancy, I wanted to pout some more but thank you for your kind clarification, but hopefully preaching isn't the new bad word of the day!

I enjoy a good sermon on any subject I enjoy or need to know more about, such as on some of the food or vaccination threads. There's some serious preaching on those, right? But it pounds home in a condensed form a lot of information I need to further research and often do, so thanks for the sermons, one and all. But I'll apologize for any of my preachiness for those who are put off by it, though what it is about asking people to be kinder is being preachy I couldn't figure. Anyway, sorry for offending those who did take my words that way. And for the rest, preach on if you like, it usually prompts me to researching, thinking and energizes me to look into something that someone is so passionate about unless it's mean-spirited in tone.

Sorry, I should have let you pout a little more, my timing is off, but I just couldn't stand you thinking that. No, nothing wrong with preaching, but like someone on their soap box, it can be more about venting instead of teaching. I know, I've been really hard on some of the newbie backyard breeders we use to get daily. I had to stop reading that forum. There was no way I could be civil to them, I was just too emotional reading about the deaths of dogs due to their negligence and I wasn't trying to teach, I was only venting my frustration. Anyway, I guess most of them left and went to facebook, so I just don't read facebook anymore! Ann one said, "if you can't be civil, don't post anything" and that really left a mark on me. We all have limitations, and I would still find it very difficult to respond in a civil way, I'm too judgmental when it comes to this, but I so much admire those who feel every bit as strongly as I do, yet are able to respond to the byb's in a kind way and therefore able to educate.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

So how about you give examples instead of this vague stuff? If you are discussing my posts, I would like for someone to SHOW ME where I am bullying people...or being preachy. I say it like it is and people can choose to listen or not. I don't set out to be mean to anyone. I honestly don't think many who post often here do....they are mostly here to help people take care of their pups. I am aware of my strengths and weaknesses and would hope that everyone else is. I think that you coming here preaching as you are in this very thread offends many...I know it does me. So...there I am telling you that you come off preachy. So how about you do the same and tell me or whoever you are referring to the same thing? Then, do you think it will change anything? Really?

Quesiton of the day: How bad do you all really think YT is? And, if it IS that bad, why be here?

As to your last question, direct it to Ann, who started this thread. She says there have been many complaints, not I.

Sorry you feel I'm preachy but so be it, Linda, I'm open to all opinions and sorry you don't like the way I've appealed for kinder, gentler posts. You said I was preachy to offend me(?) while I wasn't posting about you personally and can only wonder why you thought I was - and I certainly didn't want to call you out publicly on this forum or offend you. But as you don't mind doing that to me, I'll turn the tables on you: Exactly what about my posts did you find preachier or more fingerpointing than some of the other judgmental and fingerpointing posts on this entire thread? Kindly just point out which of my words are so "preachy" as compared to all the others?

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by SirTeddykins

Some people think with logic and some think with feelings and neither way is better - just different.


I, for example, am a logic person. I understand things and communicate that understanding via logic which is not always construed as "nice" to a feeling person because truth is often blunt. In my opinion, one should adapt their feelings towards truth - not the other way around.


Yet, social intelligence is important especially on a forum where all sorts of personalities converge. What good is logic without the ability to express it so that it can be shared with and learned by others? So, I have to ensure that I try very hard to come across as understanding AND logical. I must understand that not everything is logical and feelings can be the most illogical of all things. However, without the compassion of a feeling person, my logical statements would not always be well tolerated.


Albert Einstein said, "Gravitation is not responsible for falling in love."


We all need each other to grow. So, LOGICIANS, if you state a fact, try to do so compassionately. FEELERS, if someone states a fact, try to see it as good intent rather than an attack on your character.


Give and take is key to effective communication.


I think someone stated in an earlier post that we all care about the dogs. That's the thing to remember. We can learn from each other so that our dogs benefit from our knowledge and our love.


Drinks on me.

Bumping this little gem of a nugget.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

I so relate to this, completely. Preachy alienates, while teachy includes...at least that's my own experience. I think of the many convos that happen here regarding animal welfare and I've had some utterly amazing discussions about it. But try to discuss it with a preacher? Usually hit a wall. Discuss it w/ a teacher...and it's usually a pretty wonderful back-and-forth where I learn as much about myself, as about the other person and about the subject at hand too.

Preaching is now seen as high-hatted? I thought a sermon or discourse of one's beliefs or instructions or earnest exhortation on animal interests or equanimity in posting is something to be presented for comment and discourse on a forum, not thought of as hitting a wall when responding and its presenter a thunderhead, unable to accept others opinions. I've found many here who tend to sermonize about their favorite subject, have taught me so many things and yet many are totally open to discussion and debate.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Bumping this little gem of a nugget.

Man, I could use a drink! Thanks!

[yorkietalkjilly]

Ya'll are tough, I'm going to go lick my wounds and have an ungodly sweet iced tea. I only have some rum left over from Christmas but that would be heinous in iced tea, wouldn't it?

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

As to your last question, direct it to Ann, who started this thread. She says there have been many complaints, not I.

Sorry you feel I'm preachy but so be it, Linda, I'm open to all opinions and sorry you don't like the way I've appealed for kinder, gentler posts. You said I was preachy to offend me(?) while I wasn't posting about you personally and can only wonder why you thought I was - and I certainly didn't want to call you out publicly on this forum or offend you. But as you don't mind doing that to me, I'll turn the tables on you: Exactly what about my posts did you find preachier or more fingerpointing than some of the other judgmental and fingerpointing posts on this entire thread? Kindly just point out which of my words are so "preachy" as compared to all the others?

Jeanie, she said it in July 2014!!! She didn't come here this week and bump this thread!!!!! Other people have a little campaign going that involves this thread...not so hard for some of us to see but apparently very difficult for some. It makes me sad because this is a great forum and I don't believe it does it justice. But, not my forum so I can only voice my opinion and then accept what is decided.

As to the rest of your comments/questions I think it is best I not respond because it will solve nothing. Just suffice it to say I was not talking about anyone in comparison. I was referring to your words.

[ladyjane]

Ok folks....how about I let you in on this one. This thread has been bumped again because someone is after me (well partially...I cannot prove he had a play in the one person posting, but I am highly suspicious and I believe rightly so). Plain and simple and it is not the first time it has happened. We have someone on YT with a grudge towards me...not my imagination. I am sure you have all seen it. He did post here, but his post has been removed so maybe you all missed it. I don't care what he thinks of me or that he is still obsessing, but I DO care that he is not doing YT any favors at all with his games.

Anyway........here is the thread that led to this recent "discussion" that we have all hashed out previously.....but it seems when someone complains it all starts up again. I don't see how this person was bashed not. at. all. She is welcome to voice her complaints, but you all are feeding into it without realizing it.
So, you see, when you are posting, it appears to me that you are directing your comments towards me.

http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/yor...-bump-hip.html

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

Jeanie, she said it in July 2014!!! She didn't come here this week and bump this thread!!!!! Other people have a little campaign going that involves this thread...not so hard for some of us to see but apparently very difficult for some. It makes me sad because this is a great forum and I don't believe it does it justice. But, not my forum so I can only voice my opinion and then accept what is decided.

As to the rest of your comments/questions I think it is best I not respond because it will solve nothing. Just suffice it to say I was not talking about anyone in comparison. I was referring to your words.

So everyone else's words on this thread are golden, non-judgmental, with no other fingerpointing but mine and all totally non-preachy to you while only mind so offended? Or were you just trying to publicly embarrass me?

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

So everyone else's words on this thread are golden, non-judgmental, with no other fingerpointing but mine and all totally non-preachy to you while only mind so offended? Or were you just trying to publicly embarrass me?

I am not going to do this with you, Jeanie. I simply felt that you were coming off a bit holier than thou. While you are saying there there are "some of us" as you said in one post are trying to make this a kinder forum, I was wondering wth you were talking about. Sorry, but I don't see this as an evil place.

I didn't set out to embarrass you at all. I simply asked you if you thought you were the only one who knew how to post. Why? Because, while you are sitting acting like only others are wrong, you were totally offending me. I have a problem with anyone who tries to sit on a pedestal and talk down. Perhaps that was not your intent, but it is how I took it. So...there...think about it. Not one of us is perfect....I would rather like to think that MOST people here love this breed and are here for all the right reasons. I don't see it as a horrible forum at all. Sure there is always room for improvement in peoples' posts...but that goes for everyone.

Oh, and I was talking about you...not anyone else. This is like someone running a red light and telling the officer who is writing the ticket that it is wrong because other people ran it before them.

[Yorkiemom1]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Ya'll are tough, I'm going to go lick my wounds and have an ungodly sweet iced tea. I only have some rum left over from Christmas but that would be heinous in iced tea, wouldn't it?

Isnt that called a "Long Island Iced Tea"????????!!!!!!!! Enjoy it!!!

[lynzy420]

Ice tea and any liquor is good...

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

I am not going to do this with you, Jeanie. I simply felt that you were coming off a bit holier than thou. While you are saying there there are "some of us" as you said in one post are trying to make this a kinder forum, I was wondering wth you were talking about. Sorry, but I don't see this as an evil place.

I didn't set out to embarrass you at all. I simply asked you if you thought you were the only one who knew how to post. Why? Because, while you are sitting acting like only others are wrong, you were totally offending me. I have a problem with anyone who tries to sit on a pedestal and talk down. Perhaps that was not your intent, but it is how I took it. So...there...think about it. Not one of us is perfect....I would rather like to think that MOST people here love this breed and are here for all the right reasons. I don't see it as a horrible forum at all. Sure there is always room for improvement in peoples' posts...but that goes for everyone.

Oh, and I was talking about you...not anyone else. This is like someone running a red light and telling the officer who is writing the ticket that it is wrong because other people ran it before them.

What makes you think my words to stay positive, just as many have posted here, including Ann, asking posters to remain kinder and gentler going forward, are uttered from some pedestal or holier than thou or preachy, while none of the others on this thread are? Good thing you aren't doing any of the things you accused me of, Linda, pointing fingers, judging and coming off holier than thou in how you are now preaching to me about how I should not post! This is what drives people away - trying to stop someone from asking for politeness by making accusations.

Still, I think you should have that right if you don't want to go along with Ann's and others' requests - so who is preaching to whom about posting styles? All I asked for was in line with Ann's original thought - to be kinder and gentler in posting - and for some reason you got it in your head I was aiming at you and began to publicly object to my personal posting style! I don't get your palpable anger directed toward me. What's really behind it?

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Yorkiemom1

Isnt that called a "Long Island Iced Tea"????????!!!!!!!! Enjoy it!!!

Originally Posted by lynzy420

Ice tea and any liquor is good...

Sounds pretty awful to put rum in iced tea but I'll take any positive, good-natured suggestion tonight that will help my tender and raw spots heal up! My eyes and other parts are positively scorched from the verbal reaming I've gotten! Just kidding - KIDDING!!! Big girls don't cry - but we whine - a LOT!