Everyone Please Read: Going Forward, We Must Post With More Respect Toward Others

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by megansmomma

If you seriously want everyone to always comment to posts in a set manner then my suggestion would be to join some of the Yorkie Groups on Facebook. Their rules go something like this:

Post positive comments or you will be banned.

I cannot associate myself with those FB groups because that do not allow others to learn. The things that I have seen said to the members of those groups makes me sick. Some are breeding dogs and having litters of puppies and moms that and sick dogs that only prayers are allowed. There is so much breeding happening it's disturbing! Sick dogs and no vetting every single day! The list goes on and on. The other day I read training advice for using a FLY SWATTER for a biting puppy! All of this type of commenting goes on as long as the OP isn't told whatever they are doing is wrong. If someone does the others attack, they are reported and banned! I learned my lesson over an obviously fake account of a woman posting a picture of her "new puppy". Everyone was congratulating her on her beautiful puppy and from the picture I could tell it was a bogus FB account. So I went to her page and it was all in (I believe) Korean. When I commented that it was fake and she was selling Korean Puppymill puppies I was reported to one of the ADMINs who deleted my comment and then scolded me for making a negative comment! When I tried to explain to one of the girls that was commenting in a PM on FB she blocked me and reported me to the ADMIN who told me not that I was not allowed to communicate with other members!!!!!

To me, YT allows everyone to have a voice. Share varying opinions and the forum works well.

You missed my point about Yorkietalk - I'm just taking the position of Ann, the OP, who started this thread to say that mean-spirited, overly-aggressive and snarky posts are causing complaints, can be hurtful, causes some to leave YT and we should try harder to be nicer and less aggressive to one another in our communications here while keeping our passion and zeal for the wellbeing of our dogs, other animals and each other. It's entirely possible not to rage or angrily zing another member in order to make a point and teach someone something. We get our points across better using straight forward but less harsh-toned messages - otherwise teachers would get in students' faces and berate and browbeat them into learning rather than keep their classroom teaching as genial, positive and upbeat as possible - a more conducive atmosphere for learning.

A kinder, gentler forum for teaching, imparting opinion, advice and information, every bit as passionate and non-PC, where necessary, to ferret out mistreatment and neglect, is more effective than a mean-spirited one, most teachers and great communicators think. After all, it keeps more members returning here more often who learn more about how to be better Yorkie parents than do those we've browbeaten, bullied and run off in a funk due to outright oppression or hurt feelings.

I've posted my passionate position about keeping caged birds and tanked fish on another thread - a very unpopular position, no doubt. My intent in posting wasn't to browbeat, angrily zing or disrespect anyone. I doubt most would think my post is mean-spirited or nasty-toned to anybody but if anyone wants to believe that, so be it. There will always be lots who disagree and hate those who speak out - we're free that way on YT. I'll leave it open to interpretation of any who want to read it whether my intent was to wound or bully someone or just share my opinion on whether keeping birds and fish as pets is a good life for them. I'll never let being politically correct get in the way of my passion for animal welfare but I won't bash anyone when sharing my thoughts and passions either. It's quite possible to be passionate for animal well-being without being thought nasty and ugly.

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

You missed my point about Yorkietalk - I'm just taking the position of Ann, the OP, who started this thread to say that mean-spirited, overly-aggressive and snarky posts are causing complaints, can be hurtful, causes some to leave YT and we should try harder to be nicer and less aggressive to one another in our communications here while keeping our passion and zeal for the wellbeing of our dogs, other animals and each other. It's entirely possible not to rage or angrily zing another member in order to make a point and teach someone something. We get our points across better using straight forward but less harsh-toned messages - otherwise teachers would get in students' faces and berate and browbeat them into learning rather than keep their classroom teaching as genial, positive and upbeat as possible - a more conducive atmosphere for learning.

A kinder, gentler forum for teaching, imparting opinion, advice and information, every bit as passionate and non-PC, where necessary, to ferret out mistreatment and neglect, is more effective than a mean-spirited one, most teachers and great communicators think. After all, it keeps more members returning here more often who learn more about how to be better Yorkie parents than do those we've browbeaten, bullied and run off in a funk due to outright oppression or hurt feelings.

I've posted my passionate position about keeping caged birds and tanked fish on another thread - a very unpopular position, no doubt. My intent in posting wasn't to browbeat, angrily zing or disrespect anyone. I doubt most would think my post is mean-spirited or nasty-toned to anybody but if anyone wants to believe that, so be it. There will always be lots who disagree and hate those who speak out - we're free that way on YT. I'll leave it open to interpretation of any who want to read it whether my intent was to wound or bully someone or just share my opinion on whether keeping birds and fish as pets is a good life for them. I'll never let being politically correct get in the way of my passion for animal welfare but I won't bash anyone when sharing my thoughts and passions either. It's quite possible to be passionate for animal well-being without being thought nasty and ugly.

We're on the same page here, I think it's great to give an opinion, but we have to be careful and not sound like, "I'm right and you're wrong." There are many choices in this world and we are all at different stages at what we think is morally right when it comes to animal welfare. I think I'm more open to change when someone tells me their thoughts without making me feel guilty about my own choices. I think we all have to remind ourselves what is the goal here, preaching or teaching?

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

You missed my point about Yorkietalk - I'm just taking the position of Ann, the OP, who started this thread to say that mean-spirited, overly-aggressive and snarky posts are causing complaints, can be hurtful, causes some to leave YT and we should try harder to be nicer and less aggressive to one another in our communications here while keeping our passion and zeal for the wellbeing of our dogs, other animals and each other. It's entirely possible not to rage or angrily zing another member in order to make a point and teach someone something. We get our points across better using straight forward but less harsh-toned messages - otherwise teachers would get in students' faces and berate and browbeat them into learning rather than keep their classroom teaching as genial, positive and upbeat as possible - a more conducive atmosphere for learning.

A kinder, gentler forum for teaching, imparting opinion, advice and information, every bit as passionate and non-PC, where necessary, to ferret out mistreatment and neglect, is more effective than a mean-spirited one, most teachers and great communicators think. After all, it keeps more members returning here more often who learn more about how to be better Yorkie parents than do those we've browbeaten, bullied and run off in a funk due to outright oppression or hurt feelings.

I've posted my passionate position about keeping caged birds and tanked fish on another thread - a very unpopular position, no doubt. My intent in posting wasn't to browbeat, angrily zing or disrespect anyone. I doubt most would think my post is mean-spirited or nasty-toned to anybody but if anyone wants to believe that, so be it. There will always be lots who disagree and hate those who speak out - we're free that way on YT. I'll leave it open to interpretation of any who want to read it whether my intent was to wound or bully someone or just share my opinion on whether keeping birds and fish as pets is a good life for them. I'll never let being politically correct get in the way of my passion for animal welfare but I won't bash anyone when sharing my thoughts and passions either. It's quite possible to be passionate for animal well-being without being thought nasty and ugly.

I don't think that I'm missing your point at all. When people are dictated how to post, the verbiage to be used, the tone is not acceptable and then they are policed it can also have the opposite effect. I've been told numerous times outside of the YT forum that there is so much knowledge held within the forum regardless of the few complainers it is still the "go to" place for good sound knowledgable information. All this thread really creates IMO is a place that a few busy bodies send members to whine about not being treated fairly or whatever the complaint of the day might be. Everyone has a different way of expressing their point, opinion, thought. That is why in the grander scheme each individual enjoys different (for example) authors. It is the way they present themselves just the same way that we each have a varying style of writing. Everyone is an individual and has a personal style. To tell people that they are not expressing themselves to another's liking to me is a way to drive members away as well. The witch hunting is another. Get's old really fast!

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by megansmomma

I don't think that I'm missing your point at all. When people are dictated how to post, the verbiage to be used, the tone is not acceptable and then they are policed it can also have the opposite effect. I've been told numerous times outside of the YT forum that there is so much knowledge held within the forum regardless of the few complainers it is still the "go to" place for good sound knowledgable information. All this thread really creates IMO is a place that a few busy bodies send members to whine about not being treated fairly or whatever the complaint of the day might be. Everyone has a different way of expressing their point, opinion, thought. That is why in the grander scheme each individual enjoys different (for example) authors. It is the way they present themselves just the same way that we each have a varying style of writing. Everyone is an individual and has a personal style. To tell people that they are not expressing themselves to another's liking to me is a way to drive members away as well. The witch hunting is another. Get's old really fast!

I think you need to read Ann's post again. I do feel like you're saying that anyone who doesn't see things the way you see them, is a busybody (name calling) and is on a "witch hunt". Please read Ann's post again. I think you are still allowed a personal style.

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Hi all -

Firstly, I just want to say what a wonderful community YT is, and that I hope this thread can help us all think about improving our presence here during interactions…even if it just means tweaking our posting styles a bit.

I’ll get right to the point: we’ve been receiving a huge amount of communications from members who are concerned/venting about some of the harshness and aggression they’re seeing/perceiving in the community. This harshness pertains to both new and old members - on both the receiving and giving end of things. We’re hearing there is a pervasive feeling that members are being driven away via disrespectful, snarky, disdainful, extremely aggressive, and downright mean posting styles. This needs to stop.

We cannot be a community or call ourselves a community if we don’t come together sometimes, as a collective, and agree to do better. Well, it’s time to come together and agree to do better...to be more aware of giving (yes, GIVING) respect, to be more kind, to be more compassionate and supportive.

No one is asking anyone to be a Pollyanna or to not be themselves. We’re merely asking that, in your interactions, you strive harder and TRULY commit to what is mentioned in the previous paragraph. It’s not that hard -- and if it IS hard for you, then perhaps this isn’t the right board for you and perhaps it’s time to move on from YT to find an environment that does fit.
We are not asking much. If you do think we’re asking too much, then 1) this is not the community for you 2) you’re being self-centered and 3) you need to develop your insight into human beings, other than yourself. WE ARE NOT ASKING MUCH.

It is okay to speak your mind here at YT. However, it is not okay to simply justify any means you deem fit to meet your end goal. We believe in being STRONG advocates for dogs/animals - but not, however, at the expense of the human being behind that dependent and innocent dog. Please do not assume or think that it’s okay to behave any way you please merely because it’s in the interest of an animal. We all need to be decent here and post w/ a modicum of respect…EVEN when and especially when dealing with someone who is doing everything we are personally opposed to. Your opposition to another human being’s behavior does *not* mean you are right, nor is it a fact that they are universally and categorically wrong….it merely means you have opposition. Please learn to deal with it because it’s not going away.

If we see excessively negative and/or badgering posting styles, we will be warning people or suspending people and/or permanently banning members’ accounts.

This is an open discussion in terms of feedback, thoughts, concerns….so please feel free to share. This post is not aimed at anyone, so please do not make assumptions. It was driven by the sheer amount of concerned members who expressed themselves via PMs and on the forum itself. Thank you for reading!

[Faerie54]

Kindness begets kindness, negative breeds negative. Yes, internet = free speech and a myriad of sites permit us to speak in any manner, including bullying. NOT on Yorkie Talk and I am glad the constraints are in place.
Thank you, also, for quoting Ann's initial words concerning this burgeoning and unfortunate issue. Her fair and clearly voiced rules bear repeating and re-reading.

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by Faerie54

Kindness begets kindness, negative breeds negative. Yes, internet = free speech and a myriad of sites permit us to speak in any manner, including bullying. NOT on Yorkie Talk and I am glad the constraints are in place.
Thank you, also, for quoting Ann's initial words concerning this burgeoning and unfortunate issue. Her fair and clearly voiced rules bear repeating and re-reading.

I just give up.....this is just so beyond words tiring.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

We're on the same page here, I think it's great to give an opinion, but we have to be careful and not sound like, "I'm right and you're wrong." There are many choices in this world and we are all at different stages at what we think is morally right when it comes to animal welfare. I think I'm more open to change when someone tells me their thoughts without making me feel guilty about my own choices. I think we all have to remind ourselves what is the goal here, preaching or teaching?

And you just seemed a little preachy yourself, maybe? So do many other of the posts here. Many seem outright self-righteous. Other posters sound like outright scolds. Nothing wrong with preaching, teaching, self-righteousness, passion, scolding and compelling emotions as long as our words remain civil, not mean-spirited or intended to wound, as I see it, Nancy. Preach on. I'm fine with being called a preacher, teacher or an animal-loving nag, as long as people don't think I'm intentionally gruff and ugly or out to bully or oppress them. Most of us likely think we are right in the points we're making but why be spiteful and nasty about it is, I think, what Ann, you and others of us are saying. Ann started this thread to ask us to be more positive and kinder in our posts, not less preachy/teachy or passionate.

The main point many of us are making here is to try to encourage others to be a little kinder and gentler in sharing our content while not losing our passion or feeling inhibited in our posts due to P.C.-ism or fear of getting suspended or banned for sharing our opinions, advice or information within the rules of the forum.

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

And you just seemed a little preachy yourself, maybe? So do many other of the posts here. Many seem outright self-righteous. Other posters sound like outright scolds. Nothing wrong with preaching, teaching, self-righteousness, passion, scolding and compelling emotions as long as our words remain civil, not mean-spirited or intended to wound, as I see it, Nancy. Preach on. I'm fine with being called a preacher, teacher or an animal-loving nag, as long as people don't think I'm intentionally gruff and ugly or out to bully or oppress them. Most of us likely think we are right in the points we're making but why be spiteful and nasty about it is, I think, what Ann, you and others of us are saying. Ann started this thread to ask us to be more positive and kinder in our posts, not less preachy/teachy or passionate.

The main point many of us are making here is to try to encourage others to be a little kinder and gentler in sharing our content while not losing our passion or feeling inhibited in our posts due to P.C.-ism or fear of getting suspended or banned for sharing our opinions, advice or information within the rules of the forum.

Oh no, well I guess I failed then, because I really don't want to come off as judging others! I want to be teachy, not preachy, and I guess that's how I differentiate between the words. I think Ann has taught me more about how to respond to others than anyone, she sets such a great example, and is so kind without making me feel like she's judging me. I know her type of writing allows me to consider different thoughts, without holding on to my own viewpoint so tightly. I just think it's so easy to rip someone apart and be nasty and snarky, but does that really make us feel better about ourselves in the long run? And it sure doesn't help teach anyone anything.

I've really tried to be more open to change in this area, and while it's not easy, I'm hoping I can continue to do better. I guess I wonder why some of us don't think that we can do better or that we don't need to do better. Isn't there always room for improvement and why does this threaten some so much? I'm truly confused about his. It's like some hear that we are demanding they all become Stepford wives!

[lynzy420]

Omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg.......my brain hurts....

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

Oh no, well I guess I failed then, because I really don't want to come off as judging others! I want to be teachy, not preachy, and I guess that's how I differentiate between the words. I think Ann has taught me more about how to respond to others than anyone, she sets such a great example, and is so kind without making me feel like she's judging me. I know her type of writing allows me to consider different thoughts, without holding on to my own viewpoint so tightly. I just think it's so easy to rip someone apart and be nasty and snarky, but does that really make us feel better about ourselves in the long run? And it sure doesn't help teach anyone anything.

I've really tried to be more open to change in this area, and while it's not easy, I'm hoping I can continue to do better. I guess I wonder why some of us don't think that we can do better or that we don't need to do better. Isn't there always room for improvement and why does this threaten some so much? I'm truly confused about his. It's like some hear that we are demanding they all become Stepford wives!

Haha. No, I was just making a point, Nancy. You're fine. As long as nothing is harsh, bullying or just outright mean, why not post as we'd like - a tad preachy, a little teachy or using good old straight talk when advocating for animals or our personal principles? I say anything goes as long as we share our opinions, advice and information with as little rancor as possible and stick to the forum rules.

I know when I first joined this forum, I wouldn't reply to some posters, they were so abrupt and short-tempered, to me. I got over it and began to post my passions but many here don't and never, ever post on anything and some won't post on anything controversial - I've gotten the PM's and emails saying that from some members. I hate that that happens here but it does. I think that's the thing Ann is trying to stop with this thread. But if she adds that we should stop sounding preachy, a lot of us might be in trouble, me first!!! lol

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by lynzy420

Omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg.......my brain hurts....

Okay, I'll bite, what am I not getting? Two posts I've read today seem to be saying that some of us are just so dumb we just don't get something that so damn obvious. What's is so frustrating for you, I honestly would like to know.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by lynzy420

Omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg, omg.......my brain hurts....

We're just having a nice, adult, open, meaningful free-for-all here, Lynzy. What's the problem? (Note no emoticons were added anywhere here though I had such a strong urge.)

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Haha. No, I was just making a point, Nancy. You're fine. As long as nothing is harsh, bullying or just outright mean, why not post as we'd like - a tad preachy, a little teachy or using good old straight talk when advocating for animals or our personal principles? I say anything goes as long as we share our opinions, advice and information with as little rancor as possible and stick to the forum rules.

I know when I first joined this forum, I wouldn't reply to some posters, they were so abrupt and short-tempered, to me. I got over it and began to post my passions but many here don't and never, ever post on anything and some won't post on anything controversial - I've gotten the PM's and emails saying that from some members. I hate that that happens here but it does. I think that's the thing Ann is trying to stop with this thread. But if she adds that we should stop sounding preachy, a lot of us might be in trouble, me first!!! lol

I agree, I don't mind if someone else is preachy, it's just not effective in making me change my mind! Yes, I too get a lot of PM's saying that people would like to post something, but they are afraid. I guess because I'm on the welcoming committee I hear more from new members, but this is a definite "perception" many newbies have. As Doctor Phil says, "perception is reality" it may not be your reality, but it is reality.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

I agree, I don't mind if someone else is preachy, it's just not effective in making me change my mind! Yes, I too get a lot of PM's saying that people would like to post something, but they are afraid. I guess because I'm on the welcoming committee I hear more from new members, but this is a definite "perception" many newbies have. As Doctor Phil says, "perception is reality" it may not be your reality, but it is reality.

Practically everybody gets more than a little preachy at times if you read some of these threads so practically none of us are safe in that department but I sure hope some of the the meanness and harshness goes away. Seems that is what most complain and dislike most about YT.

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Practically everybody gets more than a little preachy at times if you read some of these threads so practically none of us are safe in that department but I sure hope some of the the meanness and harshness goes away. Seems that is what most complain and dislike most about YT.

Yeah, I'm a little tired of some of the made up drama as well.