Everyone Please Read: Going Forward, We Must Post With More Respect Toward Others

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by chachi

Now Im not trying to take away or belittling what someone else may be feeling is going on on the forum but from my viewpoint it has mellowed out alot. If anything its usually pretty slow around here with no controversial threads and it is a forum and there is always going to be some disention but its definitely not prevalent on here but I understand if your on the receiving end of it why you would think it is

Agree it is much quieter. And, this forum is tame compared to others.

The funny thing is that those who complain that they are on the receiving end of things have the other party who feels the same way but they don't complain.

I have seen all out witch hunts on this forum and the people who are doing that don't see that they are doing worse than the ones they are hunting.

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by Lovetodream88

What's funny is you attack to in fact I believe you said some extremely terrible things. It is the moderators job to decided who breaks the rules and who doesn't and what to do about. If you don't like that I'm not sure what to tell you except that is the rules here. You are not a moderator.

Good post Taylor! It's not anyones job to moderate this forum unless they have the title of MODERATOR. Also, it's not a given right to complain about previous bannings all over the board either. Some people are one slippery slimy comment away from getting the heave hoe. I've seen it happened in the past and I'm sure it will happen again soon than later. We all need to learn from our actions or suffer the consequences.

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

Agree it is much quieter. And, this forum is tame compared to others.

The funny thing is that those who complain that they are on the receiving end of things have the other party who feels the same way but they don't complain.

I have seen all out witch hunts on this forum and the people who are doing that don't see that they are doing worse than the ones they are hunting.

Another good post that I can totally agree with!
+ can lead to -->>>

This isn't Preschool and the Admins are not going to put up with babysitting. A couple time out and

[chachi]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

Agree it is much quieter. And, this forum is tame compared to others.

The funny thing is that those who complain that they are on the receiving end of things have the other party who feels the same way but they don't complain.

I have seen all out witch hunts on this forum and the people who are doing that don't see that they are doing worse than the ones they are hunting.

I have seen that too unfortunately and I know there is some people who just create conflict complaining on this thread and thats unfortunate. It is really quiet on here for the most part though but if someone else sees something different I have to wonder if we are talking about the same forum because Im on here every day and its pretty mellow

[MauiGirl]

Originally Posted by chachi

Now Im not trying to take away or belittling what someone else may be feeling is going on on the forum but from my viewpoint it has mellowed out alot. If anything its usually pretty slow around here with no controversial threads and it is a forum and there is always going to be some disention but its definitely not prevalent on here but I understand if your on the receiving end of it why you would think it is

I especially value you, Chachi, LadyJane, Megansmomma, Nancy1999, Wylie's Mom, (to name just a few) and all the others, who have been members for so long, with soooo many posts. You have shared so much, and taught me so much, and I am a much better dog owner because of you.

You have all witnessed changing trends on YorkieTalk, and I'm just glad you are still here So many members have come and gone, for whatever reason, and I'm just happy that you still participate.

Internet communication in general has evolved over the last 10 years into quite a mess, where people under the veil of anonymity say all kinds of rude, hurtful, and inappropriate things. I am grateful that Yorkie Talk for the most part has remained "real", and better than many forums.

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

I especially value you, Chachi, LadyJane, Megansmomma, Nancy1999, Wylie's Mom, (to name just a few) and all the others, who have been members for so long, with soooo many posts. You have shared so much, and taught me so much, and I am a much better dog owner because of you.

You have all witnessed changing trends on YorkieTalk, and I'm just glad you are still here So many members have come and gone, for whatever reason, and I'm just happy that you still participate.

Internet communication in general has evolved over the last 10 years into quite a mess, where people under the veil of anonymity say all kinds of rude, hurtful, and inappropriate things. I am grateful that Yorkie Talk for the most part has remained "real", and better than many forums.

And, I feel the same about those you mentioned....as well as many others (it would be a very long list if I started naming them) and you as well, Sandy.

YT is an awesome forum! We have all reaped many great benefits here...this is a great place to share and learn about our beloved breed and also other topics! I have met and communicated outside of this forum with so many people I have met here over the years. I see so many who have left for FB, and while I do spend time there, my heart does lead me here to YT.

I am also grateful to the ones who have not abandoned the ship!

[chachi]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

And, I feel the same about those you mentioned....as well as many others (it would be a very long list if I started naming them) and you as well, Sandy.

YT is an awesome forum! We have all reaped many great benefits here...this is a great place to share and learn about our beloved breed and also other topics! I have met and communicated outside of this forum with so many people I have met here over the years. I see so many who have left for FB, and while I do spend time there, my heart does lead me here to YT.

I am also grateful to the ones who have not abandoned the ship!

I couldnt have said it better myself. I appreciate especially those members that stick around and if they stick around to me they are an old timer no matter how many posts they have

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

I especially value you, Chachi, LadyJane, Megansmomma, Nancy1999, Wylie's Mom, (to name just a few) and all the others, who have been members for so long, with soooo many posts. You have shared so much, and taught me so much, and I am a much better dog owner because of you.

You have all witnessed changing trends on YorkieTalk, and I'm just glad you are still here So many members have come and gone, for whatever reason, and I'm just happy that you still participate.

Internet communication in general has evolved over the last 10 years into quite a mess, where people under the veil of anonymity say all kinds of rude, hurtful, and inappropriate things. I am grateful that Yorkie Talk for the most part has remained "real", and better than many forums.

Some of the comments that I've read all over the internet are just horrible and downright cruel. YT by far is very tame. Thank you Sandy for all that you do for YT as well.

[lynzy420]

blah...blah....blah.....some people always complain....some people can't accept when someone doesn't agree with them.....some people don't want to hear the truth and some people can't take the truth....as a whole there are thousands of useful threads compared to the squabbling threads.....YT is still the go to place for all things Yorkie....

[yorkietalkjilly]

The day an online forum begins to affect one's health is the day to walk away and put some space between us and our media devices! Words and discussions or even ad hominem attacks by people we don't even know shouldn't ever be given that much power in anyone's life and actually only mean as much as we personally allow.

Still, when replying to someone with whom we disagree, personal attacks on a member's character or making one's response personal in nature doesn't seem necessary to really make a point or add anything but an offensive or wounding nature to the narrative and is a force that often needlessly offends and drives some members away. It is possible to disagree and debate without the tone getting personal or insulting. I'm hoping we can debate anything here and keep it civil if we want others to really listen to our message, as ranting, railing and insulting rarely gets any point across effectively, can hurt feelings and apparently loses YT members from time to time.

[ladyjane]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

The day an online forum begins to affect one's health is the day to walk away and put some space between us and our media devices! Words and discussions or even ad hominem attacks by people we don't even know shouldn't ever be given that much power in anyone's life and actually only mean as much as we personally allow.

Still, when replying to someone with whom we disagree, personal attacks on a member's character or making one's response personal in nature doesn't seem necessary to really make a point or add anything but an offensive or wounding nature to the narrative and is a force that often needlessly offends and drives some members away. It is possible to disagree and debate without the tone getting personal or insulting. I'm hoping we can debate anything here and keep it civil if we want others to really listen to our message, as ranting, railing and insulting rarely gets any point across effectively, can hurt feelings and apparently loses YT members from time to time.

Anyone who makes personal attacks, all you do is report them.....the admin and mod don't allow such behavior. People make up this stuff...saying they have been attacked when they have not. I have seen that SO much over the years. It gets old.

You mention "tone" yet you know full well that "tone" in any of these posts is how the text is perceived to that person. I am sorry Jeanie but I really get tired of hearing people bring up tone as if they have a better "tone" than others.

The reason some points don't come across effectively is usually because the person does not want to hear it.

I am done with this. Just gets silly sometimes...no offense but I simply don't agree with this.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

Anyone who makes personal attacks, all you do is report them.....the admin and mod don't allow such behavior. People make up this stuff...saying they have been attacked when they have not. I have seen that SO much over the years. It gets old.

You mention "tone" yet you know full well that "tone" in any of these posts is how the text is perceived to that person. I am sorry Jeanie but I really get tired of hearing people bring up tone as if they have a better "tone" than others.

The reason some points don't come across effectively is usually because the person does not want to hear it.

I am done with this. Just gets silly sometimes...no offense but I simply don't agree with this.

If you think my discussion about tone gets gets silly and disagree, Linda, your opinion is welcome and noted, the more the merrier. Goodness knows you and many of us have been attacked when trying to dispense what we thought was well-intended, good advice. But OP started this thread to ask for more respect and for a kinder, gentler YorkieTalk due to complaints about the kind of mean-spirited, disdainful, snarky posts being made all too often. To me, that speaks to content and tone of posts. I think most thinking people would agree that a kinder, gentler, more positive tone or accent in a post works far better at conveying one's message than a harsh, snarky, aggressive style of posting, irrespective of what type of person is on the receiving end or how they choose to receive or perceive it.

We can't just post anything we'd like and then say our words, tone or style were misunderstood by others or they just didn't want to hear it - we all bear the responsibility of the content and tone of our posts and if we've done our best to stay as kind, compassionate and supportive of the dog we're posting about to his owner/guardian, and we're still misunderstood or even verbally attacked, so be it. We can rebut. And if it is a non-dog thread, we can still state our opinions and advice in the same way, free of scorn and spite.

And if anyone personally attacks me on a public thread, I'm probably not going to report it to Admin and just quietly skulk off into the shadows, I'm likely going to personally respond and defend myself for as long as it takes or until I lose interest, but it will be done with as much dignity and respect as I can muster, still hoping to get my points across to anyone out there who wishes to receive them - or not.

[ladyjane]

The bottom line is that people often use this thread as it was not intended to be used.

People get on here acting like they have been maligned when in fact they have not.

The bottom line is that people don't hear what they want and then they come running to this thread (or are directed to it by some of our "well intentioned" members) to voice disapproval.

Yorkie Talk is a wonderful forum. Some of the comments are simply ridiculous...not one person on this forum is perfect in expressing themselves and we are not Stepford wives. We all have our own unique way of posting. To expect everyone to post alike is unrealistic. I just love how some people think they are the only "nice" people on this forum. .. and yes, I do think that some believe that. Their way of posting is nicer than so and so's. SMH

[Captainzing]

I dropped off of fb to get away from drama.

Can't imagine on a Yorkie forum, people bringing in an attitude!

[megansmomma]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

If you think my discussion about tone gets gets silly and disagree, Linda, your opinion is welcome and noted, the more the merrier. Goodness knows you and many of us have been attacked when trying to dispense what we thought was well-intended, good advice. But OP started this thread to ask for more respect and for a kinder, gentler YorkieTalk due to complaints about the kind of mean-spirited, disdainful, snarky posts being made all too often. To me, that speaks to content and tone of posts. I think most thinking people would agree that a kinder, gentler, more positive tone or accent in a post works far better at conveying one's message than a harsh, snarky, aggressive style of posting, irrespective of what type of person is on the receiving end or how they choose to receive or perceive it.

We can't just post anything we'd like and then say our words, tone or style were misunderstood by others or they just didn't want to hear it - we all bear the responsibility of the content and tone of our posts and if we've done our best to stay as kind, compassionate and supportive of the dog we're posting about to his owner/guardian, and we're still misunderstood or even verbally attacked, so be it. We can rebut. And if it is a non-dog thread, we can still state our opinions and advice in the same way, free of scorn and spite.

And if anyone personally attacks me on a public thread, I'm probably not going to report it to Admin and just quietly skulk off into the shadows, I'm likely going to personally respond and defend myself for as long as it takes or until I lose interest, but it will be done with as much dignity and respect as I can muster, still hoping to get my points across to anyone out there who wishes to receive them - or not.

If you seriously want everyone to always comment to posts in a set manner then my suggestion would be to join some of the Yorkie Groups on Facebook. Their rules go something like this:

Post positive comments or you will be banned.

I cannot associate myself with those FB groups because that do not allow others to learn. The things that I have seen said to the members of those groups makes me sick. Some are breeding dogs and having litters of puppies and moms that and sick dogs that only prayers are allowed. There is so much breeding happening it's disturbing! Sick dogs and no vetting every single day! The list goes on and on. The other day I read training advice for using a FLY SWATTER for a biting puppy! All of this type of commenting goes on as long as the OP isn't told whatever they are doing is wrong. If someone does the others attack, they are reported and banned! I learned my lesson over an obviously fake account of a woman posting a picture of her "new puppy". Everyone was congratulating her on her beautiful puppy and from the picture I could tell it was a bogus FB account. So I went to her page and it was all in (I believe) Korean. When I commented that it was fake and she was selling Korean Puppymill puppies I was reported to one of the ADMINs who deleted my comment and then scolded me for making a negative comment! When I tried to explain to one of the girls that was commenting in a PM on FB she blocked me and reported me to the ADMIN who told me not that I was not allowed to communicate with other members!!!!!

To me, YT allows everyone to have a voice. Share varying opinions and the forum works well.