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02-21-2013, 08:31 AM | #1 |
YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: NJ
Posts: 6
| whining, barking....Fiance is not happy So I know this if my first post but I'm really desperate at this point to try find a solution for my current issue with my yorkie. Back story is that Mia is about 4 yrs old. I got her when she was a puppy, i'd say around 6 months or so. I was living at home with my parents still and went ahead and house trained Mia. I also got her because my grandmother lived with us and thought hey what better company for my grandmother than a little puppy and also because I fell in love with the Mia when I first saw her. She learned to use pee pee pads and eventually would just go to the bathroom where her pad was and do her thing on her own. Here's where the bad habits come into play. Since she was a puppy I tried crate training, unsuccessful. So since then she had been sleeping in either my bed or my grandmothers bed. Never caused any issues obviously and while I was at work she had someone to keep her busy during the day. Fast forward to December 2012, my fiance and I purchase our first home. It's a 2 level townhome. My fiance was very adament that if the dog came with us that she wouldn't be allowed on couches or into our bed. I agreed, since these aren't habits I would like to continue being i'm sharing a life, a house and a bed with someone and want to respect her wishes being it originally is my dog after all. So we mutually decided to put her in our downstairs coat closet with a wall gate that has a door. I prop the door wide open every night and the closet is very roomy especially for her size. I would say the space is about 3 ft wide by 6 feet long. At the back of the closet I put her pee pee pads to keep them away from her bed. She's had this bed for the past 2 yrs i'd say. I figured in order to avoid a total shock it would be good to bring things to the new house that she would recognize, so the bed and all the liners she had before came with as well as the wall gate I used at my parents house. So in order to try to get her adjusted to the "new" process we started putting her in the caged area every night, she has food and water in there as well. Also some of her old toys in there as well. Trying to keep as much as she would remember and feel comfortable with in that caged area. In the beginning she would whine a little on some nights and others not at all. When she would whine or bark I would walk out of the room onto the landing and yello no, she would stop. Then maybe half hour later start up again and I would yell again. Certain nights she would keep doing it so it got a point I was in and out of bed so many times I would go downstairs and repremand her, smack her on her bottom and say "NO!" to try to reinforce that it's not good behavior. Now the past week she has been non stop whining leading to barking. The yelling from the landing doesn't seem to work anymore. Going down and repremanding her doesn't work. This morning pushed me more than ever. She just keeping doing it and I got about 3 hours of sleep total because she wouldn't stop and nothing I did worked. Now my fiance is really upset about it as well because it's affecting her sleep as well which in turn affects her health. To give you some additional details about the schedule these days is she is mainly home alone for a very large part of the day. Main reason being is due to the time of year and we are both accountants. We work very long hours. I'm out the door by 7 am and my fiance is out by 8. Neither one of us is home before 9 pm on any given weeknight. I know this doesn't help the situation but work is work. As soon as I get home I let her out, put her in the bathroom with a pad she does her business and I let her run around the house to get some exercise. She follows me around the house and I play with her. My fiance and I will watch a little tv and Mia wants attention so i'll put her on my lap and she'll be perfectly fine, with the exception of late. Even on my lap she's been prone to whine a little so i'm totally confused as to what to do to try to get Mia used to the new house and new pattern on things. Anything i've come across related to this issue has been with puppies 8 months or less. Given Mia is older than that i'm wondering if something can be done differently or did the 4 yrs of past behavior become permanent? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!! |
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02-21-2013, 02:42 PM | #2 |
Rosehill Yorkies Donating YT Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 9,462
| I will diplomatically leave this to others that can offer solutions. Please, just let me say one or two little things and dont get offended or your feelings hurt....my heart is breaking for this baby girl. She adores you, and for 4 years, she has been an appendage on your body. Now, she has been religated to a downstairs closet. Her heart is broken.....and she is crying for you....and you are responding to her cries for you, by yelling and repremanding her, even spanking her (THIS gives me chest pain!!). Please dont spank this baby...she is broken hearted that you have obviously abandoned her....she KNOWS she is going to get "kicked to the curb" when it is lights out, so even as she is glued to your lap, she is tearful and whining, knowing she is going to loose you again, any minute. Now here is where you may want to stop reading..... I am 64 years old and have had men come and go.....I have NEVER had a dog abandon me, no matter how bad things got. Your finace is a human, an adult, and is capable of reasoning and has a sense of time,.... past, present, and future. If I was in your situation, (and this is going to send YT'rs screaming and yelling at me), I would be trying to reason with the ADULT in my life, that is "new" to this little family situation, rather than that pup. I can honestly say, with NO regret, I have never, nor would I ever, allow anybody I was with, to come into my life, and start dictating changes and restrictions on my behavior with my pets, that were there BEFORE they were. Now, we can try to keep pup off the furniture, but if I am sitting on the furniture, that pup is welcome in my lap. We can try to keep pup from sleeping with me, but I will not beat my dog over this....because I can assure you of one thing, sweetie.....if it EVER gets down to the nitty gritty in your life, that PUP will NOT leave your side....that fiance.....I would not bet the ranch on it. Just give that theory a trial run and insist the pup be allowed to continue to sleep with you....................has fiance left yet??? If not, good, she got over it and pup is back with her owner, sleeping peacefully, watching over you....if she left....well I told you she wasnt up to the "hard" times! |
02-21-2013, 02:47 PM | #3 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: With CharlieBrown of course!
Posts: 1,403
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__________________ Mom to Bug and Charlie-R.I.P my sweet Charlie 2021 | |
02-21-2013, 03:08 PM | #4 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Oakland County MI
Posts: 6,190
| one thing to think about, even if you let her sleep in your bed, things might not change because more than just the sleeping arrangement has changed. This is why I have never been big on kids living at home with parents, siblings, and in your case grandparents owning a dog because eventually they move out and often not into a situation that is best for the pet. In your case when you move out, you not only changed some of your established habits but you took her away from other people in her life that she has bonded with. Also you said you are in a townhouse do you have a yard now, did you have one before. All this affects the dog. I suspect that she was also not alone as much as when she lived with you at your parents house either. So this brings me to a suggestion that you might not like, if your parents and grandmother are willing and able to care for her it might be best for her to be back at their home. It sounds like your finance does not care for animals so that would probably help your relationship as well. Good luck hope you all can work it out
__________________ Lola my amazing little yorkie-pom Donna |
02-21-2013, 03:11 PM | #5 |
♥ Maximo and Teddy Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 25,041
| Your dog isn't getting enough exercise and activity. If I understand correctly, she is also going up to 12 hours or more without a potty break. Her lifestyle has completely changed. Dogs who once had more freedom usually do very poorly when suddenly caged. Please do not spank your dog. It doesn't teach your dog anything. I'm sure she is very confused right now. I understand work and life responsibilities, but you also have a responsibility to care for this dog. If that is not within your means right now, I recommend re-homing her. That would be thee kindest thing you could do.
__________________ Kristin, Max and Teddy |
02-21-2013, 03:14 PM | #6 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Oakland County MI
Posts: 6,190
| also by getting up and going to her and yelling and even smacking her is attention, at this point the dog wants attention and so you are giving it to her, that is most likely why the crying and barking is getting worse. The more that I think about it the worse I feel for this little one, she spends probably 85 to 90% of the day either alone in your home or penned up and kept away from the person she loved for the last 4 years. I really think you owe it to her to let your grandmother keep her. What was your grandmothers feeling when you took her to your new place.
__________________ Lola my amazing little yorkie-pom Donna |
02-21-2013, 03:17 PM | #7 | |
♥ Love My Tibbe! ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: D/FW, Texas
Posts: 22,140
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Could you also please describe what your dog's 24 hour day consists of - what its life is like timewise - how much time the dog spends doing this or that? I think we can probably help you but we really need to know the way your dog spends all of its time. It can be an excellent guide for how to help the dog.
__________________ Jeanie and Tibbe One must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer: you will certainly get none for leaving the question alone. C. S. Lewis | |
02-21-2013, 03:22 PM | #8 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 184
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I agree with Yorkiemom1. Beating up your dog will not solve the problem. Think of a situation wherein a kid is left alone or someone just snatched a kids' priced possession. I dont mean to offend you. But she is grieving for you. Please check if you can talk to your fiance, I was a really not a dog person, but Yorkies changed it. May be your fiance can also be a part of the "Yorkie Miralces".!!! All the best
__________________ Happy - yesterday - today - tomorrow and forever... | |
02-21-2013, 03:29 PM | #9 | |
I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member | Quote:
__________________ NancyJoey Proud members of the CrAzYcLuB and YAP! ** Just Say No to Puppymills – Join YAP! Yorkshire Terrier Club of America – Breeder Referrals | |
02-21-2013, 03:30 PM | #10 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Oakland County MI
Posts: 6,190
| bringing her back to your parents home is still my best thought but another thing you could try is to purchase a metal crate and put it on your side of the bed at least she would be near you and could see you at night. If you have a two bedroom townhouse perhaps you finance would be adult enough to use it during the transition period. That's what we used to do with Lola, and when I first got her I slept in the guestroom with the crate next to me until I was sure she would be quite at night so my husband could get his badly needed sleep. Please keep in mind when you read our posts that we are not being mean, it's just the active members on Yorkie Talk are very devoted to their dogs, LOL that is why we spend so much time here talking about our dogs, posting pictures of them and spoiling them rotten. For most of us our dogs come first or at least are equal memebers of our household. I know not everyone out there feels like this so it is a challenge when you get involved with someone that is not a dog lover.
__________________ Lola my amazing little yorkie-pom Donna |
02-21-2013, 03:33 PM | #11 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Oakland County MI
Posts: 6,190
| in defense of the OP I don't think they are beating the dog, I think she said smack or wack, I envision a little wack on the butt, not that I think it is a good idea just differnt than beating and spanking.
__________________ Lola my amazing little yorkie-pom Donna |
02-21-2013, 03:35 PM | #12 |
YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: NJ
Posts: 6
| I appreciate all the responses but let me clarify and it might be a case of lost in translation or my wording, I don't beat the dog but a little tough love yes. I've had dogs my entire life and cared for them. My fiance didn't demand these things, we had talks and mutually agreed that the habits she was used too I wouldn't like in our new home. So yes I agreed to no sleeping in the bed and on the couches solo. Mia comes upstairs with me when i'm in our bedroom doing whatever. Yes she was attached to my grandmother who gave her all the attention she needed but another reason why I brought her to our new home is because mom and grandmother moved to florida. Well you would say then send her to florida? My mother had a very serious and frank conversation about how she loves the dog but cannot accept the dog in florida with my grandmother. To my mothers' defense as much as my grandmother loves the dog she taught Mia very very bad habits. If she didn't see Mia eat her food she would automatically assume something was wrong and start hand feeding her food. Mia got used to this and i'm sorry but that is not behavior that any animal should be used too. My grandmother also would let long periods of time go and not put Mia in the bathroom to do her business. She's a small dog and needs to go more often that bigger dogs. So consequently she would pee or poo in the house. I can't blame my mother for not wanting those things in her brand new home. Yes we have all spoken to my grandmother about the dogs bad habits but someone who is in their 80's normally just doesn't wake up one day and changes their ways. Also at my parents house, she was house trained due to the association cracking down on dogs Mia wasn't allowed outside on the porch or things like that. I had to physically take her with me to a local park or for car rides so she could get out. I don't want anyone thinking I had the dog sheltered for the past 4 years. Yes I know she's very close to me and I adore the animal that's why I refuse to give it up. I'm just really trying to start breaking these old bad habits. At my new home we have a porch are allowed to have animals but since I live in the northeast it's been very cold not to mention the late hours at work, not really ideal conditions to try to break more habits and get her outside more. I let her out on the patio and she runs around. Once the warmer weather comes up I'm going to bring her outside daily is possible and even more so so she can interact with the other dogs in the neighborhood. We are usually home on the weekends and I try to give her as much attention as possible. As it was mentioned before she isn't allowed on the couch solo but when we are sitting on the couch I do put her on my lap and pet her, she normally relaxes and/or falls asleep. I also understand she is home alone for a major part of the day but it's mainly due to the time of year it is and my profession, so that's why I try to do as much as I can with her while i'm home and go to bed myself. Like I mentioned before i'm just looking for suggestions on how to try to help break these habits and get her used to that caged in area as her sleepy area. I was looking at people saying even if you repremand the animal they are still seeing a physical presence of you by the whining, so instead use a can filled with some pennies or a small newspaper rolled up and tap the cage as methods to try to teach the dog that when she hears the can or the cage that she's doing wrong. So again i'm open to suggestions. |
02-21-2013, 03:43 PM | #13 | |
I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member | Quote:
I don't think the OP needs a defense; I'm not hanging him/her. I assume they think what they are doing is correct, and I'm here to tell them that it's wrong type of treatment, not to tell them they are a horrible person. I don't care what you call it, it's still hitting a dog and it should never be done. If it doesn't hurt, why do it? It senseless! If it does hurt, you are teaching the wrong lesson and could easily hurt their spines. Dogs that have been taught using corporal punishment learn to be aggressive; the human's hands should never inflict pain. Punishment stops a behavior only temporarily, but it often comes back with a vengeance and with many side effects.
__________________ NancyJoey Proud members of the CrAzYcLuB and YAP! ** Just Say No to Puppymills – Join YAP! Yorkshire Terrier Club of America – Breeder Referrals | |
02-21-2013, 03:44 PM | #14 | |
YorkieTalk Newbie! Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: NJ
Posts: 6
| Again just to clarify my fiance is not giving me an ultimatum that the dog goes or she goes. Trust me I found my soulmate, the relationship is going to end because of Mia. I would bet the ranch and everything I own on that. In any case like I've said i'm trying to break old habits of hers and looking for help so she can get used to a new style for her in our new home that's it. Quote:
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02-21-2013, 04:02 PM | #15 | |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Oakland County MI
Posts: 6,190
| Quote:
__________________ Lola my amazing little yorkie-pom Donna Last edited by DBlain; 02-21-2013 at 04:03 PM. | |
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