whining, barking....Fiance is not happy

[Verbena]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

Thank you for taking the time to answer that question. It does tell me that the dog is getting very little actual time for connecting and interacting with you on any meaningful basis after all the time being somewhat coddled. Dogs are sentient pack animals, especially many of the small to medium-sized terriers. They have extremely alert, sensitive and active minds and hunger for closeness and oneness with their pack and jobs in life. Terriers were bred to work and work is what they are all about. They need meaning and worth to their lives and long hours alone and sleeping separated and alone from their pack plus little time working actively to achieve anything can be extremely frustrating, especially after the doting lifestyle this one just had to give up a while back with the change of homes.

I would give this baby a day or two of a good, reputable doggie daycare, hire a dog sitter to spend one - two hours a day working with that little one and take some TV time to work training the little one in obedience and/or a little simple agility work with short, homemade jumps and cardboard-box tunnels. Positive, reinforcing treat reward and genuine praise and a good, hard play session after each working session is a good ending, then a short turn to potty on the pad or outside on the porch and even a turn on the snowy sidewalk just to get some air and a sniff of the wonderful outside world will likely work wonders to help your dog feel it lives for a reason and achieves something in its day. Dogs LOVE to work at learning tricks and interactive toys. I feed my dog using only interactive toys he has to work at to get his food from. Takes him 30 - 60 minutes sometimes to eat and he often has to work to get the food out. He's a happy camper while he's "hunting" and "working" for his dinner. He's so happy with his dinnertime and comes and kisses me and rolls around when he's finally "hunted" all his dinner out of the kong toys and puzzles! You can just tell he thinks his life is good.

Part of each day we work at his obedience tricks and his agility. I sit him in my lap and talk directly to him about things and ask him questions. Silly but he seems to like it. He watches TV with me evenings. We take a good walk at least once daily, with the whole way up the block allowing him to stop and sniff and hike his leg all he wants and then back down the block, we "heel" and walk fast, stopping for nothing in order to get his legs really going, his muscles working. He goes outside in the backyard to play and chase squirrels, meet the neighbor's dogs through the fence several times a day. For a snack, he gets a puzzle toy he has to work to move pieces out of the way to uncover his kibble treats. He has ready access to the floor to ceiling living room and huge den windows to survey the outside world and keep watch at all times. He sleeps with me nights. He has no behavior problems other than a panic attack and those seem cyclical. He hasn't had one now in about 3 weeks. He was severely neglected for the first 9 mos. of his life, living alone in a cage under a roof outside in the elements but 99% of his fears and all of his behavior problems we have worked through. When I worked after I first got him, a good deal of the evening and weekends was spent doing all of those same things, just for less time for each activity.

Also, as I said in my other post, I would use a good secure crate, start by placing it by the bed at night, toss a treat or two in from time to time only when the dog is quiet, ignore whining, etc., and slowly but surely move it away from the bed and down the hall if you have to sleep that separately from the dog.

Hopefully by giving more quality time to your dog and changing some things, giving more meaning and work to the dog's day and slowly adjusting the sleeping quarters can help your situation. Best of luck to you.

Wonderful suggestions

[bobohyde]

From the description of the closet, I would go bonkers if that is were I was kept all day. Is there any way you could change the restricted area to either a larger room or area with a baby gate across the door or an ex-pen? Ex-pens are great. They confine the pup, but don't make them feel claustrophobic or boxed in a small space because they are open. It's the feeling of the large room, they just can't run around that room. There's space for bed, potty pad, and food & water. A much better atmosphere to be in for that long. Also, when my human boys were little, they shared a bedroom. That led to goofing around at bedtime. To distract them, I had a CD player that would play soothing music or stories at bedtime and that helped them calm down and go to sleep. Since you sleep on a different floor, would you be able to have a tv on low or music on low? I don't know if that would work, but I have always left the tv on for company for my dog when I leave the house. I think it also distracts him from outside noises that might upset him. I would really like to see where you confine the pup change. Her life has changed drastically. Please be sympathetic to that and try to understand how she feels. This is the root of the problem you are having. I understand you don't want her having total access to the house while you are sleeping or at work. Just please try to do a larger area or an ex-pen, something with a more open feeling. She feels her life went from being part of a family all day to being alone confined to a claustrophobic closet. This is why she is barking and whining. She is lonely and scared and wants to be with you. I think you can make her more comfortable by helping her to feel less isolated and still part of the family by having her confined area be larger and more open and homey. That's where I'd start.

[Verbena]

Everyone had great suggestions. She had her whole life ripped apart. She needs to get used to her new one. Grandma and you mom are gone. It's a new house and all the rules have changed. It is very hard for her. I live in NY so I understand the weather but since you live in the tri state area you have a lot of great advantages to your disposal.

Basically

1) someone coming into the house is the best because of own environment and your hours. Or Doggie Daycare, she gets interaction with other dogs.

2) changing the place of her staying in. Put in a closet is not great place to be. She needs to have more natural light. Did you maybe think of getting an expen for the living room. I have one, I put a piece of linoleum flooring under it. Put the tv on to something she might like so that there is noise, talking, animals, etc.

3) the spank on the butt. She is getting louder and louder because any noise she does gets attention even if it is a spanking. She is craving attention.

4) I can understand not wanting her on the bed. Maybe transitioning her instead since she is used to it. Either put her on the floor next to the bed. Or if you put the ex pen in the living room you can sleep on the couch a few nights for her to get used to the new environment and all the changes.

Good luck. Please keep us updated.

[electricevoix]

Again I appreciate everyone's feedback and responses. I want to further clarify based on some responses the area where she currently is. It's not like we have her in a tiny little closet area in a dungeon. Like I described it's a very deep closet that it is a very open area. Per my prior visits with the vet they suggest that as long as they have room to move around in and have their bed and some food and water that's all they need. That is coming from severals vets. Her setup she has her old bed from the my parent's a pad in the back of the closet so it isn't directly next to her bed, I know dogs don't like to go potty where they sleep, and she uses the pad so she isn't force to hold anything in during the day. She has food and I give her fresh water every morning. She also have several squeaky toys in the area as well. The door is propped wide open and by wide open I mean it's as if the door weren't even there. There is a baby style gate so she isn't in a crate by any means. I leave one of the downstairs lights on for her so the house isn't pitch black at any point during the day and at night. The coat closet is right by the stairwell and living room. We have window treatments that are permanently drawn and sheers covering the windows so natural light comes through into the house very easily. I just wanted to clairfy the setup since no one can physically see it and might be imagining it to be something it isn't.

[DBlain]

I like the idea that many have suggested of having someone come in during the day to play with her and if possible a walk when the weather permits. Are you considering this? I was lucky when I used to work outside of the home I found responsible teens in my neighborhood that would come in each day after school and take my dogs out and play for a while. They signed a paper each day and made notes if needed, this way I knew they were there. This did not cost much since they were high school kids and their moms were home. Do you know any of your neighbors that you could pay to do this. I also have friends with a pair of pugs and they have an adult pet sitter come in for about 45 min each day, it is more costly than what I did but still not an arm and a leg.

[sandy simpson]

You have to understand Yorkie behavior. Yorkies are full of love and they want to be by us all the time. This breed does not like to be left alone or locked up for long periods of time. Yorkies want to sleep with the owners. They feel secure then. My two Yorkies sleep in our bed and I have no problem with them. Husband better move his butt if the dog wants to be there. Love gives and if you want a Yorkie to love you and protect you and be your Best friend, let that little pooch be by your side. Husband or fiance needs to understand this or it is time for him to sleep on the couch, not the dog!

[Florabug]

Originally Posted by Teresa Ford

Would you consider allowing her to sleep in your bed room even if it not in the bed ?
This would be much better than returning her to the closet. In a dogs mind sleep time counts, as together time too.
Hope this helps, Teresa

Yes, maybe her sleeping in the bedroom with you at night in an xpen or large crate?? Our Harley was a terrible whiner for a while. After we figured out that he just wanted to be with us at night in his xpen, he was perfectly happy. The whinning stopped immediately!

[gracielove]

I don't think anyone is saying that you are keeping your dog in any kind of cruel physical conditions. It's the fact that your dog is alone and confined for the majority of it's life. Yes, she is a dog but dogs are social creatures. If they lived in the wild they live in packs. Since they are not wild they depend on their people for their social interaction. This dog is in a very comfortable closet most of the day and all night...alone. You don't understand why she is unhappy and whining? Can you even imagine living in the kind of isolation this dog is having to submit to? Solitary confinement is considered a very extreme punishment for humans and animals. The vet seems only concerned about her general physical welfare. Dogs are much more complex animals than that. Even dogs kept in laboratories for experimentation are given more interaction than this dog is experiencing.
Your fiancee is adamant that the dog not get on the furniture or be in the bedroom and that also limits any interaction while you are home. What is left for this poor dog? Exercise? Outings? You work 12 hour days. When I worked 12 hour days I was too tired to do much with my kids much less my dog. I have to wonder why you keep her?
If you feel you are doing right by your pet then nothing can be done for her. She will continue to be sad and unhappy. I feel very sorry for her. People have given you suggestions that might help her quality of life but you seem oblivious to what the actual problem is. I find it difficult to understand how you can think that the solitary life in a closet you are giving her is even a slightly adequate way to live.
Yorkies are energetic and loving little dogs. She must be totally frustrated with her very solitary new life. Sadly, you will see neurotic symptoms develop in the future if she continues to live this way.

[yorkietalkjilly]

I'd just add that to me it seems you and your girlfriend are most concerned about her night whining and how to stop it. The suggestions of how to give the little one a more interesting, interactive and involved day that appreciably satisfies her daily activity and family pack-connectivity/interaction needs can help to sufficiently tire her in a positive way so that her pent up energy is worked out by bedtime and she welcomes sleep. Then, by confining her to her crate near the bed and patiently waiting for her to adjust to the new sleeping situation and moving that crate slowly and further away night after night if you must should help her desensitize to these arrangements. Many dogs adjust well to crates for sleeping and reasonable confinement while their family is away until they are housebroken and come to accept the crate as their own little den. Some even prefer a shawl or small blanket be placed over three sides of it to make it cozier for sleeping if they are an insecure dog. But a good, meaningful and working, active day together with meaningful family interaction evenings and a sleeping arrangement that honors yours dogs pack instincts to sleep near to its pack can all work to solve your issues with her current night whining. I hope that you can enrich her life and help her to enjoy it more and that this pleasantly tired girl can find her sleeping arrangements are made a little friendlier for her. Good luck as you work out your problem areas with your sweet little girl. I hope in a few months, all three of you are happily settled within a good lifestyle for all.

[Charlies Mamma]

Does anyone know what happened with this little one? I have been watching to see if the OP came back with an update but havent seen anything. Hoping maybe they PM'd someone in the group...

[EvaNoel]

May I ask if there is any possiblity that you could have a dog sitter/walker come to your home, at least once a day, while you and your fiance are working long hours? A good workout/walk, or playtime during the day will help to work out anxiety and perhaps help your Yorkie rest better at night.

It is quite possible that your Yorkie is depressed. Separation anxiety can be devastating for an animal that is accustomed to being in the company of their people/family/pack and then left alone. My DIL is a veterinarian and this is more common than most realize, especially in small dogs like Pom's and Yorkies. They even have meds for that.

It appears that you have more than enough responsibility, but maybe if your Yorkie had a friend, she wouldn't feel so alone ... just a thought.

Good luck, congrats on your new home and please don't let this frustrate you to the point of anything physicial even if ever so simple.

[bamawife]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

Great post, you said this so much better than I could. All I can say, is to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever hit a dog. When you get a dog for whatever reason, it is your reponsiblity to care for it until it dies, if you can't provide a good home for it anymore, because you need to please your fiance, you should find someone who can. If your fiance won't compromise with you on this, I think you should probably look for someone else, but if that's not an option, please find a good home for you're little Mia.

:thum bup:

[joyce evans]

If you can..try a large kennel instead of a closet. Looking at walls all day & night is probably boring her as well. The reason I say this is because I bring my pup to work with me everyday. At work she has a large space to run around and play in and she's great but when I take her home she's a different dog so I've had to adjust her space to keep her happy. She still barks and whines but I know that she wants her freedom so that's what she gets until she tires out. There are some really nice kennels out there that look like furniture. PetsMart has some. Maybe if she can see what is going on around her she will calm down. Too..if she is sleeping all day while you are gone then she is ready to go when you get home.

Good Luck!!!

[Cerise]

So many have said the right things already. I will add that dogs are like children and know who is good for you and who is not. I am not saying your fiance' is all bad, but I will say that anyone coming into your life needs to respect the loving life your furbaby has had with you these past 4 years and try to fit in.

When I got Cerise I was single (divorced) but dating. Cerise never liked ANY of my suitors. Cerise growled, barked, and bit several. One day I decided to downsize and move to an apartment above my ex-husbands because I liked where he lived and we were good friends. And soon one evening we went downstairs to visit him. For Cerise it was love at first sight. She fell in love with Ern so hard that I had to watch when I opened my front door, because she would rush down the stairs to his place scratching on the door. That lead to her crying when she heard his car or voice on the phone. Seriously it did! We gradually started visiting each other more and Ern started babysitting her when I needed to go places without her. It got to the point she didn't want to leave is apt.

Fast forward two years later…we are back together moving into a townhouse this week that we purchased and are also now waiting on our next furbaby to arrive next month

He never changed ANY of the things Cerise was accustomed to and even added more that spoiled her out of this world. She is very happy. She sleeps with us, goes everywhere with us, eats with us, plays with us, entertains us, and literally was what brought us together and we are happy too.

Your baby needs to be happy as well. A Yorkie does not shed so getting on the furniture is no big deal.

[Cerise]

Originally Posted by Yorkiemom1

I will diplomatically leave this to others that can offer solutions. Please, just let me say one or two little things and dont get offended or your feelings hurt....my heart is breaking for this baby girl. She adores you, and for 4 years, she has been an appendage on your body. Now, she has been religated to a downstairs closet. Her heart is broken.....and she is crying for you....and you are responding to her cries for you, by yelling and repremanding her, even spanking her (THIS gives me chest pain!!). Please dont spank this baby...she is broken hearted that you have obviously abandoned her....she KNOWS she is going to get "kicked to the curb" when it is lights out, so even as she is glued to your lap, she is tearful and whining, knowing she is going to loose you again, any minute. Now here is where you may want to stop reading.....
I am 64 years old and have had men come and go.....I have NEVER had a dog abandon me, no matter how bad things got. Your finace is a human, an adult, and is capable of reasoning and has a sense of time,.... past, present, and future. If I was in your situation, (and this is going to send YT'rs screaming and yelling at me), I would be trying to reason with the ADULT in my life, that is "new" to this little family situation, rather than that pup. I can honestly say, with NO regret, I have never, nor would I ever, allow anybody I was with, to come into my life, and start dictating changes and restrictions on my behavior with my pets, that were there BEFORE they were. Now, we can try to keep pup off the furniture, but if I am sitting on the furniture, that pup is welcome in my lap. We can try to keep pup from sleeping with me, but I will not beat my dog over this....because I can assure you of one thing, sweetie.....if it EVER gets down to the nitty gritty in your life, that PUP will NOT leave your side....that fiance.....I would not bet the ranch on it. Just give that theory a trial run and insist the pup be allowed to continue to sleep with you....................has fiance left yet??? If not, good, she got over it and pup is back with her owner, sleeping peacefully, watching over you....if she left....well I told you she wasnt up to the "hard" times!